Chapter 88 Part Two - Twenty Six

"Yeah, this kind of single cell is really scary for young people," said the aunt, shaking her head and lighting a cigarette. "I see everyone the same," said Nekhludoff. "No, it's not the same for everyone," replied the aunt. "I've heard people say that for a true revolutionary, it's a kind of rest, a kind of recuperation. An underground worker always lives in turmoil, lacks food and clothing, and worries about himself, others, and the cause, but once When you are arrested, you are fine, all responsibility is removed, you just sit back and rest. I heard them say that they are happy when they are arrested. However, innocent young people like Lida are always happy. To be arrested first--for these people, the first blow is really hard. It's not that you've lost your liberty, that you've been treated roughly, that you've been fed badly, that the air has been bad, and that it doesn't matter what kind of suffering it is. Even if the suffering is doubled, it is still bearable, what is unbearable is the mental blow when he was first arrested."

"Have you ever had such an experience?" "Me? I've been in prison twice," said the aunt with a sad and touching smile. "The first time I was arrested for no reason. I was only twenty-two years old, had a child, and was pregnant again. I lost my freedom, left my child, and left my husband. No matter how painful these things are, they are more painful than my spirit. I felt that I was no longer alone, I had become something to be manipulated. I wanted to say goodbye to my daughter, but they forced me into a carriage. I asked to take Where I'm taking them, they'll know when they talk. I ask what crime I've committed, and they ignore me. After interrogation, I'm forced to take off my clothes, put on a numbered prison uniform, and be escorted back to the hallway They opened the cell door, pushed me into the cell, and locked the door. They were gone, leaving only a sentry with a gun. He walked up and down silently, occasionally peeping through the door, and I felt very uncomfortable. Yes. One thing that surprised me at the time was that the gendarmerie officer handed me a cigarette during the interrogation. It can be seen that he understands that people like to smoke. It can be seen that he understands that people like freedom and light, and he also understands that mothers love Child, child loves mother. Then why did they cruelly separate me from all that I held dear, and lock me up like a wild animal? One cannot be treated like this without being hurt. A man believes in God Heren, I believe that everyone should love each other, but after going through all this, I will lose this belief. Since then, I no longer believe in people, and my heart has hardened," she said with a slight smile.

Lida's mother came in through the door that Lida went out, and said that Lida was in a bad mood and would not come. "Oh, why destroy such a young life?" said the aunt. "I'm particularly saddened that I'm the one to blame for this." "By God, she'll recover if she breathes the country air," said the mother. "We'll send her to her father." "Yes, she would have been quite ruined if it hadn't been for your help," said my aunt. "Thank you. I want to see you, because you have a letter to entrust to Vera," she said, taking a letter from her pocket. "The letter is unsealed, and you can read it, or tear it up, or forward it, whatever suits you," she said. "There is nothing in the letter to discredit anyone."

Nekhludoff took the letter, promised to forward it, then got up and took his leave, and went out into the street. He sealed the letter without reading it, and decided to give it to Vera.