Chapter 52 Part One - Forty Nine

"Oh, I didn't expect it to be so bad, so bad!" thought Nekhludoff, walking out of the prison.Only now did he understand the full extent of his sin.If he hadn't determined to atone for his crimes, he would not have realized the depth of his sins.Not only that, but she wouldn't feel how much he had harmed her.Until now, all this has been fully exposed, which is shocking.Only now did he see how he had broken the woman's heart; she did not understand how he had hurt her.Nekhludoff, who had always been self-admired and even proud of his confession, now found all this dreadful.He felt he could never leave her alone again, but he couldn't imagine how their relationship would end.

As soon as Nekhludoff reached the gate, a warder covered with medals, furtively handed him a letter with an annoying fawn. "Well, this letter is from a woman to your Excellency..." he said, handing Nekhludoff a letter. "Which woman?" "You'll know it when you look at it. It's a female prisoner, a political prisoner. I'm with them. She asked me to do this. Although this kind of thing is forbidden, it's based on humanity..." the guard said unnaturally. Nekhludoff was puzzled by the fact that a warden in charge of political prisoners was delivering letters almost in public in the prison.He didn't know yet that this man was both a guard and a spy.He took the letter and read it as he walked out of the prison.The letter was written in pencil, in sophisticated handwriting, without using old-style letters, and read as follows:

"I heard that you are very interested in a criminal and often visit her in prison. I would like to see you once. Please ask the authorities to allow you to see me. If it is granted, I can give you a lot of information about you. The person who interceded for her and the important situation of our group. Thank you Vera." Vera was originally a female teacher in a remote village in Novgorod Province.Once Nekhludoff and his companions went there to hunt bears.This female teacher had asked Nekhludoff to give her a sum of money to help her enter a higher school.Nekhludoff gave her the money and forgot about her afterwards.Only now do I know that she is a political prisoner and is in prison.She probably heard about him in prison, so she was willing to work for him.Everything was so simple back then, but now it's so complicated.Nekhludoff recalled vividly and cheerfully the circumstances of that time, the acquaintance of Vera.It was before Maslenitsa, in a remote village sixty versts from the railway line.The hunt went well and killed two bears.They are eating and getting ready to go home.At this moment the farmer who was staying with them came and said that the daughter of the deacon of the local church had come and asked to see Prince Nekhludoff.

"Does it look good?" Someone asked. "Well, shut up!" Nekhludoff said gravely, got up from the table, wiped his mouth, wondering what the deacon's daughter wanted to see him, and went into the master's room. There was a girl in the room, wearing a felt hat and a leather coat. Her face was thin and veined, and her appearance was not good-looking, except for a pair of beautiful eyes and two raised eyebrows. "Here, Vera Efremovna, this is the prince," said the elderly mistress, "talk to her. I'm going." "What can I do for you?" said Nekhludoff.

"I... I... You see, you have money, but you spend it on nonsense, on hunting, I know that," said the girl embarrassedly, "I have only one hope, and I hope that I To be a man useful to mankind, but I know nothing, because I know nothing." Her eyes were sincere and kind, and her face was determined and timid, very touching.Nekhludoff could not help putting himself in her place—he was in the habit of doing this—immediately understood her feelings, and pitied her. "But what can I do for you?" "I'm a teacher. I want to study in a higher school, but I can't get in. It's not that I was let in. They let me in, but I need money. You lend me a sum of money, and I will pay you back when I graduate. I think it's not good for rich people to beat bears and give wine to peasants. Why don't they do something good? I'll give you eighty rubles. If you don't want to, forget it," she said angrily.

"On the contrary, I am very grateful to you for giving me such an opportunity ... I will go and get it," said Nekhludoff. He came out of the house and saw his companion listening to their conversation in the porch. He ignored his companion's teasing, took out the money from his wallet, and handed it to her. "Please accept, accept, you are welcome. I should thank you." Nekhludoff thought of all this now and was very happy.He thought of an officer who tried to tease him about it as pornographic news, he almost quarreled with him, and another colleague spoke for him, and he and him became better friends from then on, and thought of that hunting was very smooth and happy, and he returned that night When he arrived at the train station, he was very happy.The two-horse sleds, one after the other, lined up in a long line, speeding silently along the narrow road in the forest.The trees on both sides are of different heights, and there are snow-covered fir trees in the middle.In the darkness, a red light flashed, and someone lit a fragrant cigarette.Osip the hunter ran knee-deep in the snow from one sled to the other, and told how the elk wandered in the deep snow, nibbling on the bark of the poplar, and how the bear slept in a den in the dense forest, where the mouth With hot steam coming out of his mouth.

Nekhludoff thought of all this, of how happy he had been in his prime, carefree and happy.He puffed out his chest and took a deep breath of the cold air.The snow on the branches was knocked off by the horse's yoke and sprinkled on his face.He felt warm all over him, cool on his face, and had no worries, no regrets, no fears, and no desires in his heart.What a joy it was then!What about now?My God, how painful and difficult everything is now! ... Vera was clearly a revolutionary, and she was imprisoned for her revolutionary activities.He should see her, especially since she promised to give him advice to improve Maslova's situation.