Chapter 51 Part One - Forty Eight

The guard who had brought Maslova sat down on the windowsill a little away from the table.For Nekhludoff the fateful moment had come.He kept blaming himself for failing to say the main thing the last time they met, which was that he planned to marry her.Now he was determined to say it.Maslova sat at one side of the table, and Nekhludoff sat opposite her.The room was brightly lit, and for the first time Nekhludoff saw her face clearly at close range: crow's feet around the eyes, wrinkles around the lips, and puffy eyelids.He felt more pity for her when he saw it. He rested his elbows on the table and leaned closer to her.That way the guard sitting on the window sill with the gray beard and Jewish face would not hear her, but only her.He said:

"If this petition doesn't work, then go to court. We will do everything we can." "Well, if only I had had a good lawyer..." she interrupted him. "My advocate is a complete idiot. He's always talking nasty things to me," she said, laughing. "It would have been very different if people had known that I knew you. But now? They always think of everybody as a thief." "She is very strange today," thought Nekhludoff, and was about to tell what was on his mind, but she again got ahead of him. "I've got one more thing to tell you. We have an old woman over there who's quite a character. To tell the truth, no one can understand how it's possible that such a terrific old woman should be sent to prison. Not only she was in prison, but her son was also in prison. Everyone knew they were innocent, but they were accused of arson and they were in prison. She, indeed, knew that I knew you," said Maslova. Turning her head, and glancing at Nekhludoff from time to time, "she said, 'Tell him to call my son out, and he will tell him the whole story.' The old woman's name was Minshova. Well, can you do something about it? In fact, she is a very good old woman, and she has obviously been wronged. Good girl, do her a favor," said Maslova, to He looked at it, lowered his eyes and smiled again.

"Okay, I'll do it, I'll go and find out," said Nekhludoff, more and more surprised at her casual manner. "But I have something to talk to you about myself. Do you remember what I said to you that time?" he said. "You talk a lot. What did you say last time?" said Maslova, smiling constantly, turning her head from one side to the other. "As I said, I have come to ask your forgiveness," said Nekhludoff. "Hey, why bother, always forgive and forgive, there's no need for that. . . . You'd better..." "I said I would atone for my sins," Nekhludoff went on, "not in words, but in deeds. I have decided to marry you."

A look of fear suddenly appeared on Maslova's face.Her squinting eyes were in a daze, and she seemed to be looking at him, but also seemed not to be looking at him. "And why?" said Maslova, frowning angrily. "I feel like I should do it before God." "What a God again? You never say the right thing. God? What God? Well, if only you remembered God," she said, and opened her mouth again, but said no more. . Only then did Nekhludoff smell the strong smell of wine in her mouth, and he understood the cause of her agitation. "Be quiet," he said. "I don't need to be quiet. Do you think I'm drunk? I'm a little drunk, but I understand what I'm talking about," Maslova said suddenly and hurriedly, flushing. "I'm a convict, a convict." ... You are a lord and a duke, so you don't need to cause trouble with me, so as not to disgrace your status. You'd better go find your princesses, my price is a red ticket."

"No matter how sharply you speak, you can't tell what's in my heart," Nekhludoff said in a low voice, trembling all over, "you won't understand what a crime I think I have committed against you! . . . " "'What a crime I feel...'" said Maslova, imitating him viciously. "You didn't feel it at first, but you gave me a hundred rubles. Here, that's what you paid for..." "I know, I know, but what shall I do now?" said Nekhludoff. "Now I have decided that I will never leave you again," he repeated, "and I will do what I say."

"But I dare say you can't!" said Maslova, laughing loudly. "Katyusha!" said Nekhludoff, touching her hand. "Go away! I'm a convict, and you're a duke, what are you doing here?" she screamed, turning pale with rage, and pulling her hand from his. "You want to use me to save yourself," Maslova went on, eager to vent all her anger. "You use me for fun in this life, and you want to use me to save yourself in the next life! I hate you, your glasses, and your fat and ugly face. Go, let me go!" She stood up abruptly, shouted. The guard came up to them.

"What are you doing! How can you do this..." "You just let her go," said Nekhludoff. "Tell her not to be too presumptuous," said the guard. "No, please wait a little longer," said Nekhludoff. The guard went over to the window again. Maslova lowered her eyes, clasped the fingers of her little hands together, and sat down again. Nekhludoff stood before her, not knowing what to do. "You don't believe me," he said. "You say you want to marry, and it will never happen. I'd rather hang myself! That's what I'm going to tell you."

"I'm still going to do my best for you." "Well, that's your business. I don't need your help in anything. I'm telling you the truth," said Maslova. "Oh, why didn't I die back then?" She burst into tears when she said this. Nekhludoff could not speak, and Maslova's tears made him cry too. Maslova raised her eyes, glanced at him as if in surprise, and wiped the tears from her cheeks with her kerchief. At this time the guard came over again and reminded them that it was time to break up.Maslova stood up. "You're a little excited today. If possible, I'll come back tomorrow. Think it over," said Nekhludoff.

Maslova followed the guard out without answering a word or looking at him. "Hey, girl, you're in luck now," Kolabreva told Maslova when she returned to the cell. "It seems that he is fascinated by you. Don't miss the opportunity when he comes to you. He will rescue you. Rich people can do everything." "That's true," said the crossing man in a singing voice. "Poor people have short marriage nights, but rich people can get whatever they want, and they can do whatever they want. My dear girl, we have a respectable man there, and he..." "Well, did you mention my matter?" the old woman asked.

Maslova did not answer the words of her companions, but lay down on the bunk.Her squinting eyes stared blankly at the corner of the wall.She lay like this until evening.Painful activity unfolded within her.Nekhludoff's words brought her back to that world which she could not understand and which she hated.She left the place after being tortured.Now she can't put the past aside and live in a daze, and it's too painful to live soberly.In the evening, she bought some wine and drank with her companions.