Chapter 47 Part One - Forty Four

When they met again for the first time, Nekhludoff thought that Katyusha would be happy, moved, and revert to her original Katyusha face when she saw him, knew that he would do something for her and felt remorse.He never expected that the original Katyusha no longer existed, only the current Maslova remained. It surprised and frightened him at the same time. What surprised him chiefly was that Maslova not only was not ashamed of her status (not as a prisoner, as she was ashamed of being a prisoner, but as a prostitute), but also seemed satisfied, Even proud of it.But then again, a person in such a position must be like this.Whoever wants to be active must be confident that his activity is important and beneficial.A man, therefore, whatever his position, must have such a view of life that he feels that his activities are important and beneficial.

People usually think that thieves, murderers, spies, and whores will admit their humble occupations and feel ashamed.In fact, just the opposite.Those who have fallen by fate or their own sins, no matter how low their position may be, often hold such a view of life as if their position is a legitimate picture, and the language system corresponds to the reality system.The absolutely simple truths of the world are, noble.To maintain this view, they instinctively cling to those who affirm their view of life and their place.But we should be surprised if thieves boast of their artifice, whores their sensuality, and murderers their cruelty.The reason why we are surprised is simply because these people live in a narrow circle and have special living habits, while we are outsiders.But it is not all the same thing if rich men boast of their wealth, which is their robbery, military governors boast of their victories, which is their bloody massacres, and rulers boast of their power, which is their violence. ?We do not see that these people distort the concept of life, that they pervert good and evil in order to justify their position, simply because their circle is larger and more numerous, and we ourselves belong to this circle.

This is how Maslova sees her life and her place in the world.She was a prostitute, sentenced to hard labor, but she also had her worldview, and by virtue of it she could admire herself, even pretentiously. This world view is: All men, old and young, middle school students and generals, educated or uneducated, without exception, all think that having sex with attractive women is the greatest pleasure in life.Therefore, all men pretend to be busy with other things on the surface, but in fact they all yearn for this thing blindly.She is an attractive woman who may or may not satisfy their desire, and is therefore an important and indispensable figure.

Her past life and her present life all confirmed this view to be correct. Everywhere during these ten years she had seen that all men, from Nekhludoff and the elderly police chief to the cautious prison guards, needed her.As for the men who didn't need her, she didn't see them, and she didn't pay them any attention.Therefore, in her view, the vast world is nothing but a shelter inhabited by sensualists, who watch her from every side and do whatever they can--deceit, violence, money, tricks--to possess her. This is how Maslova sees life.Starting from this outlook on life, she is not only not a humble person, but also a very important person.Maslova regarded such a life above all else.She has to cherish it, because once she abandons this outlook on life, she will lose the meaning of living in the world.In order not to lose the meaning of her own life, she instinctively attaches to someone with the same outlook on life.Sensing that Nekhludoff was drawing her into another world, she resisted it, foreseeing that in that world she would lose her place in life, and with it her self-confidence and self-respect.It was for this reason that she tried to avoid recalling her youth and her first relations with Nekhludoff.The memories of those past events are incompatible with her current worldview, so they have been erased from her memory, or they have been buried in her memory intact and sealed up so tightly, just like a bee seals up a nest of borers (larvae). Get up, lest they spoil all the labor of the bees.Therefore, Nekhludoff was to her now no longer the man she had once loved with pure love, but only a rich gentleman.She can and should use him, and she and he can only maintain the relationship she has with all men.

"Well, I haven't been able to get the main words out," thought Nekhludoff, walking with the crowd toward the exit. "I didn't tell her I was going to marry her. I didn't, but I will." The two guards at the door patted the visitors one by one and counted them, so as not to let one more person go out or keep one person in prison.This time they patted Nekhludoff on the back, and Nekhludoff was not only indifferent, but hardly noticed.