Chapter 46 Part 1 - Forty-Three

Maslova turned around, raised her head, straightened her chest, and with the familiar meekness of Nekhludoff's expression, went up to the bars, squeezed her way between the two female prisoners, and stared at Nekhludoff in surprise. Husband, but did not recognize him. However, she saw from his clothes that he was a rich man, so she smiled. "You looking for me?" she asked, bringing her smiling face with squinting eyes close to the iron bars. "I want to see..." Nekhludoff didn't know whether to use "you" or "you", but immediately decided on "you".He spoke no higher than usual.

"I want to meet you... I..." "Stop messing with me," cried the ragged man next to him. "Have you ever taken it?" "I tell you, people are dying, what do you want?" A person on the opposite side shouted. Maslova could not hear what Nekhludoff was saying, but the look on his face when he spoke reminded her suddenly of him.But she couldn't believe her eyes.Her smile faded, though, and her brow furrowed in pain. "I can't hear what you're saying," she cried, narrowing her eyes and frowning even more tightly. "I'm here..."

"Yes, I'm doing what I have to do, I'm pleading guilty," thought Nekhludoff.When he thought of this, tears welled up in his eyes and his throat choked.He clutched the iron fence with his fingers, unable to speak, trying to control his emotions so as not to cry out. "I tell you: what are you doing meddling in business..." someone shouted here. "For God's sake, I don't even know," cried a prisoner over there. Maslova recognized Nekhludoff by seeing Nekhludoff's agitation. "You seem to be ... but I dare not admit it," cried Maslova, not looking at him.Her flushed face suddenly darkened.

"I have come to ask your forgiveness," said Nekhludoff aloud, but in a tone as flat as a memorization. Shyly saying this aloud, he looked about him.But it occurred to him at once that it would be a good thing if he felt ashamed, because he was shameful.Then he went on aloud: "Forgive me, I am guilty before you..." he cried again. She stood motionless, her squinting eyes fixed on him. He couldn't speak any more, so he left the iron fence, trying his best to hold back the churning tears, not to let himself cry out. The deputy superintendent, who had led Nekhludoff to the women's prison, came over, evidently interested in him.Seeing that Nekhludoff was not by the bars, he asked him why he did not speak to the prisoner whom he wanted to visit.Nekhludoff blew his nose, pulled himself together, tried to calm himself down, and replied:

"Can't talk through the iron fence, can't hear anything." The deputy warden thought for a moment. "Well, well, it's fine to bring her here for a while." "Marya Karlovna!" he said, turning to the guard. "Take Maslova outside." A minute later Maslova came out through the side door.She walked lightly up to Nekhludoff, stopped, and frowned at him.Her curly black hair fluttered in circles on her forehead just like the day before yesterday; her pale and slightly swollen face was a little sickly, but cute and very calm; There is God. "You can talk here," said the deputy warden, and walked away.

Nekhludoff went to the bench against the wall. Maslova looked at the superintendent in perplexity, then, shrugging her shoulders as if in surprise, followed Nekhludoff to the bench, straightened her skirt, and sat down beside him. "I know it will be difficult for you to forgive me," began Nekhludoff, but he stopped, feeling his throat constricted, "the past is beyond repair, and now I will try my best to do it. Tell me..." "How did you find me?" She ignored his words and asked herself.Her squinting eyes seemed to be looking at him, but also seemed not to be looking at him.

"My God! You help me and show me what to do!" said Nekhludoff to himself, looking at her disfigured face. "I was on the jury when you were tried the day before yesterday," he said. "You didn't recognize me, did you?" "No, I didn't recognize anyone. I didn't have time to recognize people. I didn't look at them at all," Maslova said. "Have you ever had a child?" asked Nekhludoff, blushing. "Praise God, he died then," she replied simply, angrily, turning her eyes away from him. "Really? How did you die?"

"I was sick myself and almost died," said Maslova, without raising her eyes. "Why did Aunt and the others let you go?" "Who would keep a maidservant with a child at home? As soon as they found out, they threw me out. What are you talking about! I don't remember anything, I forgot everything. It's over long ago. " "No, it's not over. I can't leave it alone. Even today I have to atone for my sins." "There is no atonement. The past is the past, all over," Maslova said.Then, quite unexpectedly, she cast a sudden glance at him, and smiled with disgust, allure, and pitifulness.

Maslova had never expected to see him, especially here and now, and so at the first moment his presence shocked her and reminded her of things she had never thought of.For the first moment, she vaguely recalled the novel world full of feelings and ideals, which was opened to her by the charming young man who loved her and was loved by her.Then she thought of his incomprehensible cruelty, of the succession of humiliation and misery which followed and ensued those intoxicating blisses.She was in pain, but she couldn't understand it.As usual, she banished these memories from her mind, trying to cover them up with the special fog of depraved life.That's what she's doing now.For an instant she connected the man sitting before her with the young man she had once loved, but then it was too painful to do so again.Now this gentleman, well-dressed, rosy-faced, and perfumed, was not to her the Nekhludoff she had loved, but a very different man.The kind of people who can play with women like her when they want, and women like her always try to get the most out of them.It was for this reason that she smiled seductively at him.She was silent for a while, thinking about how to use him to her advantage.

"That's long overdue," she said. "Now I am sentenced to hard labor." Her lips trembled as she uttered the mournful words. "I know, I believe, that you are innocent," said Nekhludoff. "Of course I'm not guilty. I'm not a thief, I'm not a robber. People say here that it's all up to the lawyer," she went on. "Everyone says we should appeal, but it costs a lot of money..." "Yes, there must be an appeal," said Nekhludoff. "I've already had a lawyer." "Don't be reluctant to spend money and hire a good lawyer," she said.

"I'll do my best." There was a silence. She smiled again as before. "I would like to ask you... for some money, if you will. Not much... just ten rubles," she said suddenly. "Yes, yes," said Nekhludoff embarrassingly, reaching for his wallet. She cast a quick glance at the deputy warden who was pacing the room. "Don't give it in front of him, give it after he walks away, or he will take it away." As soon as the deputy warden turned away, Nekhludoff took out his wallet, but before he could hand her the ten-rouble note, the deputy warden turned again and faced them.He rolled the banknotes in the palm of his hand. "This woman has lost her life," he thought, looking at the puffy, weather-beaten face that had been kind and lovely, and the alluring squinting eyes, black and shiny, fixed on the side. The hand of the warden and Nekhludoff clutching the banknote.His heart was shaken in an instant. The devil who had bewitched Nekhludoff the night before spoke again in his mind, tried to prevent him from thinking how to act, and made him think about the consequences of his action and how it might be beneficial to him. "This woman is beyond redemption," said the devil, "you will hang a stone around your neck and drown, and you can do no more good for others. Give her some money and put her Wouldn't it be better to give her all the money, break up with her, and make a clean break from now on?" He thought in his heart. However, at the same time, he felt that an extremely important change was about to be completed in his mind at the moment. His spiritual world seemed to be resting on an unstable balance at the moment. Tilt over there.With a little effort he called out to God, whom he had felt yesterday in his soul, and God answered him at once.He decided to tell her everything at this moment. "Katyusha! I have come to ask your forgiveness, but you have not answered me whether you will forgive me, or when will you forgive me," he said, suddenly changing his address to Maslova as "you." She did not listen to him, but looked at his hand for a while, and at the deputy warden for a while.As soon as the deputy warden turned around, she reached over, grabbed the note, and tucked it into her belt. "What a strange thing you say," she said contemptuously—he felt it— said with a smile. Nekhludoff felt that there was something in her which was incompatible with him, which kept her forever as she was, and prevented him from entering her inner world. Strangely enough, however, instead of alienating him from her, this circumstance produced a special new force that drew him closer to her.Nekhludoff felt that he should awaken her spiritually, which, though extremely difficult, attracted him all the more because of its difficulty.The feeling he has for her now is something he has never had before, and he has never had it for anyone, and there is no selfishness in it.He didn't ask for anything from her, he just hoped that she wouldn't be like this, that she could wake up and restore her nature. "Katyusha, why do you say such things? You have to understand, I know you well, I remember how you were in Banovo..." "Why bring up those old things," she said coldly. "I remember these things in order to correct my mistakes and atone for my sins, Katyusha," began Nekhludoff, who was about to say that he was going to marry her, but when he met her eyes, he noticed something in it. There was a rough and terrifying look of repelling people thousands of miles away, and he didn't dare to speak. At this time, the prison visitors went out one after another.The deputy superintendent went up to Nekhludoff and said that the visiting hours were over.Maslova got up and waited obediently for her to be taken back to her cell. "Good-bye, I still have a lot to say to you, but, you see, there is no time now," said Nekhludoff, holding out his hand. "I'm still coming." "It seems that the words have been said..." She held out a hand, but did not shake it. "No, I'm trying to find a place where I can talk to you again, and I have something very important to say to you," said Nekhludoff. "Okay, come on then," she said, with a coquettish smile intended to please a man. "You are closer to me than a sister!" said Nekhludoff. "Strange!" she said again, and then, shaking her head, she walked towards the bars.