Chapter 5 Chapter Four / We

"In order to make our mission clear and to make as deep an impression as possible on the public, we had to kill." - Theodore.Kaksinski, aka "The Bomber," manifestoes published in The Washington Post and The New York Times, September 15, 1995 Mark's suicide shocked us all.But it would be a lie to say that his behavior surprised us.The official explanation is that he drowned in Salisbury Sea, possibly swept away by an undercurrent.But we, we know of course, that he allowed himself to drown in order to get rid of the life that haunted him.We all knew Mark was under a lot of stress, we all felt he was struggling, we all drank his feigned energy, and whenever he brought up the subject of self-destruction, we changed the subject.We refuse to admit the fact before us that Malone is killing himself, we have no intention of saving him, we have buried him even before he is dead. "The king is dying, long live the king!"

At the Bayeux cemetery, three hundred admen wept falsely at his funeral, especially those who hated him and wished him an early death, now guilty of their curses being fulfilled, wondering what to hate next who will be.In order to propel this communication machine forward, an enemy must always be crushed, and now, suddenly, this indispensable driving force has been lost, and people are at a loss as to what to do. We actually prefer that this funeral is just a dream. We are just attending the funeral of a demagogue, watching the coffin slowly move into the grave. We really hope that this is just a conspiracy arranged by him.As if the camera suddenly shifted away, we found that the funeral was actually rehearsed by a group of actors: the priest is a dead actor who is trying to make a comeback, a few teary friends are laughing, and behind us, a group of technicians People are winding wires, and a director is yelling, "Stop!" But no one yells, "Stop."

We often wish our life was a dream.Like those third-rate movies, we like to wake up from our dreams and use this trick to solve all our problems.Once a character drowns in a movie, he often wakes up from his dream.How many times have we seen on screen: a hero being attacked by a slimy man-eating monster, the hero is cornered at the end of a dead end, and the moment the hideous monster is about to devour him, smack!He suddenly sat up in bed, sweating profusely.Why these never happen in our life?Why?Ok? How can we wake up if we haven't slept at all? The coffin actually contained the ashes (Charlie even grabbed a handful and put them in his pocket).Our tears are sincere.We, the entire Roser Europe staff: Jeff, Philip, Charlie, O'Tier, the interns, the powerful, the insignificant, and me, Octave with the tissue.

Octave was still there, not fired or resigned, just disappointed that Sophie hadn't returned.We, all the parasites who live on Rother's money: TV station owners, shareholders of radio networks, singers, actors, photographers, designers, politicians, magazine editors, department store owners; We leaders of public opinion, we artists trafficked, famous or damned, we mourn.We're mourning our sad fate: in advertising, when someone dies, there are no newspaper articles, no posters flying at half-mast, no TV interruptions, just some unsold stock and a secret account number that is not yet used in Switzerland.When an ad man dies, nothing happens, he is just replaced by another living ad man.

A few days later, South Beach, Miami.Pamela of all sizes.Anderson and Jean have everything.cloud.vandam.There, everyone is a buddy.We take artificial UV rays first, and then stick our faces up to the sun.To get a foothold in this world, you have to be a whore or a porn actor.We do drugs because alcohol and music don't give us the courage to speak.We live in a world where the only adventure is having sex without a condom.Why do we all pursue beauty?It's because the world is ugly and disgusting.We want to be beautiful because we want to be the best.Cosmetic surgery is our last ideology.All have the same mouth.The world is horrified because of human cloning, and human cloning actually already exists, but it is called "orthopedic surgery".In all the pubs, Scheer can be heard singing: "Do you believe in life after love?" We should now search for life after humans.That would be the existence of a noble post-human creation freed from the injustice of ugliness, and Miami is the capital of the world.We will all have full and pure foreheads, satin skin, almond eyes, each will have long fingers with gray nail polish, each will be assigned a set of full lips, a pair of high The cheekbones, a pair of soft ears, a rebellious nose, a head of soft hair, a slender and fragrant neck, especially the pointed elbows.Elbow for everyone!Elbow will democratize.The world's top ten sexy supermodel Paulina once admitted humbly in a reporter interview: "I am very happy that everyone thinks I am beautiful. In fact, it is just a mathematical problem, that is, how many millimeters are there between my eyes and my chin."

Me and Charlie, we're standing in the ocean talking on our cell phones.We drove on the beach in a huge jeep.Malone's death did not make us cancel the shooting plan of "Qing Li Jia Ren", because the pre-production has already spent a lot of money.Charlie took a small box from his pocket, which contained Mark.A few grams of Maloney's ashes.He spilled them all into the sea.This must be what Mark longed for: floating on the waves of Miami.Seeing that there was still a little white ash in the palm of his hand, I suddenly had an idea.I asked him to straighten his arms and open his palms to the sun, then I brought my face closer.My mentor and friend Mark.The remnants of Malonne were just sucked up by me.Since then, Malone has been running around in my head.

If you find an ugly girl, even just one, let us know.Look at those handsome men and women, in any other place, they must be rare, but here, people turn a blind eye to them.They're almost boring to the point of monotony (don't forget, I'm an advocate of boredom).There will always be a girl who is younger and prettier than the previous one.Sweet torture.However, lust is one of the seven deadly sins of human beings.Miami, the city of sin and Sodom, Gomorrah and Babylon "The Old Testament of the Bible records that the two cities of Sodom and Gomorrah were very sinful and promiscuous, and God destroyed them." The sister city of the covenant .

At Coconut Grove, a guy walks six chihuahua puppies, picking up their waste with his plastic-gloved hands.We meet smugglers selling salsa audio discs and dry land skiers.In front of the "Colony Bar," groups of bronzed men are talking on their cell phones.We figured out that in Miami, we're actually in the midst of a giant ad.It is no longer advertising copying life, but life copying advertising.Those pink Cadillacs with neon lights on their bases, vibrating to the beat of Chicano rap.So much glamor and wealth can only make one dizzy.At Press Cafe, we stare at the supermodels, but we'd rather scratch their faces.

Miami's Art Deco downtown area is located south of the city by the ocean.It was built for retirees in the 1930s.In the early 1940s, many soldiers were stationed because the United States was afraid that Japan would attack Florida. The fall of former Cuban President Batista in 1959 led to a large influx of Cuban immigrants.Miami thus became a hodgepodge of retirees (who held the pension funds that forced all Western wage earners to work for years), soldiers (to protect those retirees), and Cubans (who supplied the retirees with drugs).What a perfect cocktail.In the 1970s, the oil crisis made the city quiet.It was thought to be dead, outdated, and phased out, until a decade later, in 1985, an ad revived it.

This year, the famous photographer Bruce.Webb for Calvin on Ocean Drive.Clay took a series of photos. After this group of photos was published in fashion magazines all over the world, Miami immediately became the international fashion capital.Miami is a city whose prince is a photographer.If the Nazis had also borrowed the advertising power of this place, they would have killed ten times as many people.Supermodel Christie.It was here on the beach that Turrington was discovered by a talent scout.Jani.Versace completed all his fashion catalogs here until he was murdered on July 15, 1997.These pulley guys, bronzed Cubans, gays in shorts, weaving the sidewalk, their eyes hidden behind Oakley's latest shades.Here, all things do not have any conflict with each other.The Nazis won anyway because even black people dyed their hair blond.We fight so hard to be like that happy Hitler youth with stomach muscles like galakons.Those anti-Semites finally got what they wanted: great director Woody.Although Allen can make the girls happy, when it comes to sleeping, they still prefer to sleep with the porn star Rock.Sheridi.

Beneath a palm tree covered in feathers, we watched a game of beach volleyball, a round-robin competition organized by several modeling agencies.Photographer Steven.Messer and Peter.Lindbergh served as referee (and for the other 363 days, they were also referees for the planet).Perfect bodies in red and black bikinis slammed into the hot sand, sweat and seawater splashing from their blonde hair and onto the creamy navels of their giggling girlfriends.Sometimes a breeze from the ocean would make their skin crawl, and even from a distance we could watch with amusement their arms trembling slightly.On their soft shoulders, the sand shone like countless tiny sequins.This situation can not help but prick our melancholy and dull hearts.What we can't stand the most is their white teeth.If I'd made a record and sold ten million copies, we wouldn't be where we are today.Oh, it seems that the red bikini team won the volleyball show. The captain is a girl who is only fifteen years old. Compared with her, the beautiful actress Cameron. Diaz, Uma.Thurman, Heather.Graham and supermodel Gisela.Bündchen is just like old tuna.Don't think all we want is to sleep with those babes.We've grown tired of those things.All we want is to touch their eyelids with our lips, touch their foreheads with our fingertips, lie next to them and hear their stories about their childhoods in Arizona or South Carolina.All we want is to eat nuts with them while watching a TV series, with locks of their hair thrown behind their ears every now and then.do you see what i mean?Still don't get it?Yes, we know how to take care of them, order sushi in the room, slow dance to the Rolling Stones' "Angie", happily reminisce about our school days, and yes, because we have common memories to share (first time Drunk with beer, absurd hairstyle, first love at last, jean jacket, prom, rock music, Star Wars, etc.).But those supergirls would rather hang out with photobook sissies and Ferrari-driving dudes, which is why the planet is in trouble.No, I'm not a sex maniac, but there's no word for lung obsession, so maybe: I'm a "lung lover", that's all. In the evening, we dined with some third-rate models on a rented yacht.After serving dessert, Enrique.Bai Guangjin bet one of the girls a thousand dollars that she wouldn't have the guts to take off her panties and throw it at the ceiling to see if it would stick.The girl did it right away, and we were having a good laugh, which wasn't really funny (her panties fell off and caught on a plate of spaghetti).The whole world is in prostitution, the difference is only in paying or receiving.Generally speaking, before the age of forty, it is to receive money, and after that, it is to pay.that is it. Beauty courts have no right of appeal.Those boys with four-day beards are watching if we are watching them, we are watching if they are watching if we are watching them, they are watching us to see if they are watching if we are watching them, it's like an endless game ballet.I am reminded of the game of "Mirror Womb", which used to be a traditional program in fairs and fairs, like a maze of mirrors, in which we collide with ourselves reflected in the mirrors.I remember that when we were young, we often came out with bags on our heads because we met ourselves inside. The flashing neon lights on Ocean Boulevard covered passers-by with fluorescent lights, and the hot wind blew away the flyers of the closed party.Last night in the "living room," where the girls were writhing, it felt like a meat store. (In the "living room", if you can go in, it means you are a VIP. If you have a table after entering, it means you are a VVIP. If there is a bottle of champagne on your table, it means you are a VVVIP. If the lady boss is in A kiss on your mouth, then you are not VVVVIP, you are Madonna.) Miami Beach is like a huge candy store, the houses are like ice cream, and those girls are like candy bars, we like to put them in our mouths and make them gradually melt. We had to get up as early as six in the morning in order to shoot in the best possible light.We rented a billionaire's house in the Cape Biscayne lot with Tamara the painter on the walls.A reproduction of a painting by Drempik. Our Tamara quickly adjusted to her new life as an advertising star.People were doing her hair, doing her makeup, pouring her coffee in the location car.Those set designers are responsible for painting the grass (the original grass is not green enough according to the script's requirements), and the cinematographer is giving incomprehensible orders to the understanding technicians.They're always there measuring light and dark and exchanging magic numbers: "Try from 12 to 4." "No, let's change the focal length and put 8 on 14." Me and Charlie, we eat whatever the delivery guy puts in our hands: chewing gum, cheese ice cream, bubble gum, salmon burgers, and salmon ice cream gum with cheese and chicken sashimi.The clock pointed to 8:30 in the morning, and suddenly, Enrique lost his smile on his face. "It's white, we can't shoot in that light." The client has repeatedly told him to want blue sky and clear shadow of the sun. "But," continued Enrique, "they want the light of God." At the moment, Charlie's answer is imperial: "God is a poor photographer." White skies are no longer possible to color correct.If we were shooting in these conditions, we would have to color in Flame frame by frame in post-production, costing 6,000 euros a day.So we'd rather eat ten breakfasts and wait for the white fog to lift.In order to open this "weather" umbrella, the female TV producer pulled her hair angrily while calling the insurance company in Paris.I remain calm: Since I stopped using cocaine, I have been taking it all the time. Charlie and Tamara and I are like Florida's Jew and Jim. ""Jules et Jim", a feature film directed by François Truffaut in France in 1962, tells the love between Jules, Jim and Catherine." The old beauty here is always endless Asked us: "Are you playing 'Family of Three'?" (That 'family of three' is still in French.) We drank Corona beer all day and night, laughing and playing non-stop.All fell in love with Tamara. She takes 10,000 euros a day just to spark this chemistry in men.Those bearded people wore big caps and carried wires, wireless walkie-talkies crackled in the open space, and the lighting engineers looked up at the sky from time to time, with helpless expressions on their faces.We slathered on full-block sunscreen to bask in the sun.Black sunglasses protect us from reality, and the world is blocked by filters.But what would Miami be for without the sun? "You have to avoid palm trees in the background, don't forget, we're supposed to be in France, or prepare a background painting of poplars and beeches." "Good reminder. Octave, you have just shown that you are quite useful. You just proved that your air ticket was worth it in one sentence." Charlie was joking, but absent-minded at the same time.He's been beating around the bush since this morning.Is he going to make some important decision?Sure enough. "You know, Octave, I have to tell you something. There are going to be some big changes in the company." "Thank you for telling me this. The creative director is dead, of course there will be changes." "We don't say the creative director is dead, we say the creative director is 'died'." "You still humorously take the suicide of our beloved boss?" Tamara laughed, but Charlie continued: "Did you notice that Jeff didn't go to Senegal?" "Noted of course, almost canceled my trip when I found out. I don't know how we survived those four days without him." "Stop the bullshit. This Jeff, I know where he is. While we were messing around in Senegal, this venerable account manager was in New York, and you see, he was asking the highest levels of Roser for President Philip's Location." "What did you say?" "Little Jeff, very cunning. With the backing of Madonna's Dürer, he went to the headquarters and told them that if they didn't replace the president of the French branch, they would lose this customer. Hey, you know the group What did the great men say?" "Go fuck yourself, go fuck yourself, Jeff!" "You're dead wrong. These old beauties, what they like is this kind of ambitious young man usurping the old man's place. What Harvard taught to those human sharks and what John Wayne's westerns show Not this." "Hey, wait, are you kidding? You made up all of this." Charlie bit his fingernails. It didn't look like he was lying. "Octave, I'm afraid you've been so busy taking notes for your book that you've forgotten to see what's going on around you." "Hey, you're still talking about me. You've been looking for those perverted pictures on the Internet all day." "Not at all, I'm just learning about my time. Now that I bring this up, remind me to show you a movie about a ninety-year-old lady eating her shit. Well, back to business. You didn't see it in Senegal They're all on edge? Wake up! Geoff is going to be named president of Rosser, replacing Philip, and he's going to be in charge of Europe. It's all clear. People are going to make him 'Chairman Emeritus' or something There is no real title." "Jeff? President of the company? But he's not yet thirty, he's still a brat." "Maybe, but he's not an innocent kid if you want my opinion. Welcome to the '00s, my man. Thirty-year-old CEOs are trendy these days, and they're the same as forty-year-olds. Just as bad, but with a better image and cheaper. That's why those old American shareholders made the deal. With the biggest customer support in the company, Jeff can't lose. However, Jeff can't let Malone go, you understand Do I mean?" "Son of a bitch. Mark killed himself because he knew the dog would try to get him out of the house." "Of course, and besides, he suspects that we will usurp his position." God!God, although you are so pale, there is no reason to just fall on our heads like this. "I don't understand what you mean. You mean Jeff wants to make both of us creative directors?" "Jeff called me this morning to suggest this location. €30,000 per person per month, plus expense reimbursement, free apartment and company Porsche." Tamara laughed at the side: "Octave, my little baby, for a person who is trying to get himself fired, this news really makes him feel bad, doesn't it?" "Hey, you god-created stunner, you'd better shut up." "You're right, honey. You're the creators, I'm the creation." "Nicely said," Charlie snapped, "except, you got it wrong, baby. Now we're creative directors. There's a difference." "Oh! I haven't said I accept the appointment yet." "You really can't refuse this appointment." Enrique intervened. Obviously, everyone in the film crew knew about it, except me.And the sun chose to show his face at this time.This brazen guy. We're almost convinced that Tamara has been acting her whole life.When you think about it, it is true.The calling girl profession is a much more effective way of training actresses than the actor's studio.She is so comfortable in front of the camera.She seduces the camera, tasting the cheese greedily as if her life depends on it.In this fake Mediterranean garden transplanted to Florida, she shines like never before. "She's the girl of the new century," a local techno-producer declares to the woman making "Making of," in a doctrinal tone.I think he was trying to, first, introduce her to John at Elite Modeling Agency.Casablanca; second, he wanted to fuck her from behind.Of course, not necessarily in this order. We tend to invade a strange land before investing in the media space. Advertisements for "Beauty and Beauty" will run until 2004, and promotions will take place in various formats: 4×3 posters, bus shelter posters, women's magazine introductions, store promotions, label redemption, wall paintings, beach game competitions , regional marketing, promotional leaflets, the Internet, shelf displays and purchase discounts, etc.Tamara, you will be everywhere and we will turn you into the face of soft skim cheese throughout Europe. We sipped "Cape Cod" cocktails and chatted with the makeup artist about the Aspen ski resort in the United States. We came across a couple of shriveled cows (that's the nickname we give to the rags-to-riches anorexics looking for heroin on Washington Avenue).We pretended to be shot and fell to the ground in front of Versace's house, attracting tourists to take pictures of us.At the Delano Hotel, we wrapped ourselves in white drapes, Tamara became the witch from The Arabian Nights, and I became Gaspar the phantom imp.All around us, people are so narcissistic that they only have sex with themselves.What constitutes a successful day in Miami?That's one-third pulley, one-third psychedelic, one-third masturbation. The grass on the shooting site was scorched by the sun again.To make it green, the prop artist recommends spraying it with food coloring.Tonight, people say there's a "drag queens" wrestling match at Winner's on Lincoln Avenue, where these ladyboys pull each other's wigs. "Nothing matters," sings Madonna, who also owns a mansion here.Her lyrics summed up all the problems very well.I love Tamara, and I love Sophie, and a creative director's salary is enough to support both of them. But I'm never going to accept an appointment that goes against what I declared on the first page of this book, "I wrote this book to try to get fired."Maybe I should correct it to read "I wrote this book to try to get promoted"... At this point, Tamara interrupted my thoughts: "Do you want a cup of coffee, a cup of tea, or me? " "I want to put all three in my mouth. Tell me, Tamara, which ad is your favorite?" "'Less flowers, more power.' That's the tagline for Volkswagen's new Beetle." "We don't use the word 'slogan', we say 'Title'. If you want me to hire you, you have to remember this." We all spent the afternoon in front of a Sony monitor, which aired filming Each frame: Tamara on the terrace, Tamara on the escalator, Tamara in the garden, Tamara in full view, Tamara close up, Tamara in contrived nature, Tamara looking at the camera, Tamara Naturally contrived, Tamara tasting the product (lift the lid off, put in the spoon, relish), Tamara and her beautiful elbows, Tamara and her perfect boobs.But my favorite Tamara was mine: the one naked and in slippers, standing on the balcony of my room, with a ring on her left thumb and a rose on her right breast.To her, I dare say, "I don't want to have sex with you, but you're obsessed with me. I think I love you, Tamara. You've got big feet, but I love you. Computer-edited you are bigger than me." The real you are better, but I love you." "I've known a lot of villains who pretend to be nice, but you're a rare one: You're a good guy who pretends to be evil. Come and kiss me, and it's free this time." "You are my forbidden dream, my only storm, my only hope. To me, you are the only music that makes the stars dance on the dunes." "Another empty talk, always empty talk." Tasting the product is always the hardest part of the shoot.Under the scorching sun, after lunch, our poor North African girl had to put a spoonful of "Qinglijiaren" in her mouth twenty times and pretend to be happy twenty times.After finishing it just a few times, she has lost her appetite.So the prop master brought her a small spittoon, as soon as Enrique said "stop", she immediately spit the mouthful of soft cheese into it.Even if it’s a secret I’m letting you know, don’t make it public: every time you see an actor enjoying a food in a commercial, know that he never swallows it, and when the camera stops, he Just spit it right away into a container made just for that purpose. Charlie and I sat in plastic chairs with only piles of junk food for company.All commercials are shot in the same way. People arrange creative personnel in a corner. People take good care of them, but they are full of contempt. At the same time, they hope that they will not judge more as advertising planners.We feel insulted, useless, and stuff ourselves with sweets until it's sickening.But we pretended not to notice all of this, because we knew that, as future creative directors, we would have a million chances to retaliate, and not forgive. We will be both rich and unjust. We will fire all our friends from the past. We will intimidate all of our employees by going back and forth and going hot and cold. We will take credit for the good ideas of our subordinates. We'll get those young directors together, lure them with a big project, grab their fresh ideas, and then implement them ourselves behind their backs. We will refuse to approve the employee's holiday application, and we will go to Mauritius ourselves first. We will be both arrogant and obscene. We'll keep the best deals for ourselves, hand over the gimmicky adverts to outside freelancers, and frustrate all staff on indefinite contracts. We will insist that "Le Figaro" publish our biography on the pink centerfold. Once the article is published, if it does not meet the standards of saint biographies, we will demand that the reporter who wrote the article be fired, and we will not buy "Le Figaro". The advertising pages of Le Figaro were threatening. We will represent a new force in the French advertising industry. We're going to hire a news writer to write in the Communications section of Strategy magazine: "A distinction should be made between perception and concept." We will often use the term "preemptive strike". We will be so busy that the phone will never find us.Waiting at least three months to book an appointment with us (and having an overbearing secretary cancel at the last minute on the morning of the appointment). We will button the shirt all the way up to the neck. We're going to send neurodepressive shockwaves all around us.People say bad things about us in the circle, but they dare not say it to our face, because we are scary. We will be too lazy to do anything, and all our relatives and friends will stop seeing us. We'll be dangerous, superfluous and redundant. We will be behind the scenes of modern society. We will remain in the shadows even in "full light." We will be proud to take on these important non-responsibilities. "Are you satisfied with the makeup?" The make-up artist came over to ask our opinion, which interrupted our sweet dream.When the time comes, we will appoint her as head make-up artist at Roser because she knew the importance of recognizing us before our appointment. "Naturally," said Charlie in a preemptive tone, "she should look healthy, balanced, and full of life, while retaining her original character." "Okay. I just added a little gloss to her lips and left her skin intact. Her skin is so nice." "No gloss," insisted Charlie, with the confident tone of a future boss, "I prefer bright." "Of course, it's much better to be bright than glossy," I hurriedly booed, "otherwise, there will be color deviation." The make-up artist recoiled respectfully from us oral make-up experts who obviously couldn't be underestimated, and now we just need to despise the culinary stylist one more time and we're all set. Tamara set the entire camera crew on fire.We all liked her, and we exchanged knowing glances in front of her divine beauty.If I wasn't thinking about another person all day, we should be quite happy. Why do I always yearn for people who aren't there for me?Tamara puts her hand to my face from time to time, which comforts me.I need a lightness.Hey, by the way, this good ad may come in handy in the future: "'Qing Li Jia Ren', we all need a piece of lightness." I wrote it down, just in case I can use it someday. "Why, are you ready to accept the money they offer you?" "Money doesn't bring happiness, Tamara, you know that very well." "Thanks to you, I know now. I didn't know that before. To know that money doesn't bring happiness, at least one has to experience both: money and happiness." "Will you marry me?" "No, but it's okay, just on one condition: On our wedding day, a helicopter should rain down pink cotton candy." "What if it's white?" "We ate it." Why did she lower her eyes?We both felt a little awkward.I took her hand, which was patterned with henna. "What's wrong? What happened?" "It's not good that you're being so nice to me. I'd like you to play tougher." "but……" "Nothing but. You know you don't love me. I wish I could be as flirtatious as you, but I'm tired of acting too, you know? I think twice, I think I'll stop everything, 'Qing Li Jia Ren' The ads make enough money for me to buy a house in Morocco and I have a daughter to support. She is now with my mother and I miss her so much...Octave, just listen to me, you should come back to you Be with your fiancée and take care of your children. That's the greatest gift she can ever give you: accept it." "What the hell! What's wrong with you guys? As soon as a man feels good with you, you absolutely want to talk about kids. Instead of looking for answers to the question 'why you're alive,' you like to create more questions." "Stop showing off your cheap philosophy here. Don't joke about it. Look at me, my daughter has no father." "So what? I wasn't raised by my father either, so I won't make a fuss about it." "You know what you're talking about? Have you ever looked at yourself in the mirror? You've abandoned a woman with your child to hang out with whores at night." "Yeah, that's right...but at least I'm free." "Freedom? I'm not dreaming. Don't, Octave, don't even you. Damn it! You are too twentieth century.Look into my eyes, I say eyes.The child to be born can have a father, and for the first time in your life, you will be of use.How long are you going to hang out in those dirty bars? How many times have you heard wimpy drunks repeat their crude jokes?Tell me how long can you hang around?hell! Is this your freedom?idiot! " There are psychoanalysts in the world who charge 150 euros a time, and Tamara is a moralist who charges 460 euros an hour. "Don't lecture me on your morals, damn it!" "Don't be so fierce, be careful of giving me a cerebral hemorrhage. Although morality is commonplace, at least it can make you distinguish between good and bad." “那又怎么样？我宁做个卑鄙的自由人，对，自由人，你听明白了吗？也不愿做一个守道德的囚犯。'自由的人啊，你总是自找苦难！'我很明白你所说的。 你想想，一个家庭的幸福故事可能比一个烂醉的流浪汉早晨六点钟讲的黄色笑话更病态，你知不知道？再说，我每两分钟就爱上一个，你让我怎么照顾我的孩子，过这婊子日子？哟……！ " 我犯了规。我跟塔玛拉有个君子协定，只有她能用“婊子”这一词，如果其他人用，她就把这看成是对她的侮辱。她顿时满眼泪花。我企图补偿我的过失： “别哭了，原谅我，你是个圣人，你知道的，我曾经对你说过，我现在再重复一遍。本来，我就已经是惟一的一个付妓女钱不是为了跟她们睡觉的男人，现在我还是惟一一个让她们掉眼泪的男人，难道这些不是很了不起吗？借你的手机用一下，我得马上把这通报给《世界记录大全》。喂！请接世界上最笨手笨脚的男人栏目。” 赢了，她绽出了一点笑容。化妆师只需要补上一些眼影霜。我继续我的自我分析：“我的移民爱人，只请你告诉我一件事：当我们爱一个女人，一切都是那么美好的时候，为什么她却要把我们变成一群烦人孩子的保姆？为什么偏要在我们中间放上一帮在你脚边大吵大闹、阻止你们单独相处的小鬼头？见鬼！难道两人在一起就这么可怕？能有一个'DINK'（Double Income No Kids ，双薪无子之意）的两人世界我已非常满意，为什么要把我们变成一个制造无穷痛苦和淋巴长期软化的'家庭'「」？你不觉得有孩子让人可怜吗？所有那些罗曼蒂克的恋人最后都落得只谈孩子。你觉得那正给孩子换尿布的加拉格尔兄弟性感吗？非得是恋粪癖才行。再说，我的宝马Z3里面，没地方放婴儿椅。 " “是你才让人可怜。如果你妈没孩子，你今天就不会在此胡说八道了。” “这也不会是个大损失！！” "Shut up!" “你才住嘴！！” “嗨！别再用你那些惊叹号了！！！！！”她抽泣地哭喊。 她擤了擤鼻涕。我的天，当她哭的时候，简直是美丽辉煌。如果男人给女人施加痛苦，那无疑就是因为哭泣的她们更加楚楚动人。 她此时抬起头，找话说服我：“我们仍可以继续秘密幽会。” 道德万岁！正如帕斯卡所说：“真正的道德嘲弄道德。”当我用喝七喜汽水的麦管吸干她的泪水时，我们俩其实在想同一件事。 “你知道为什么我们俩不行吗？” “知道，”我回答说，“因为我不自由，而你，太自由。” 拍摄结束了。三天的时间，我们花了三百万法郎（约合五十万欧元）。收摊之前，我们请求恩力克再拍一个垃圾版本。没错，我们当时都有点醉醺醺，塔玛拉也是。查理大声说：“听着，你们大家都听着！Listen to me please.上次，我见到还活着的马克。马隆涅时，他正向此时也在场的奥克塔夫发火，说我们刚拍完的这个脚本非常糟糕，说一定要重新写一个。” “没错，”我补充道，“他还说了一句话，这句话将永远刻在我的脑海里：” 尽善尽美是我们永远无法摆脱的威胁。 '““女士们，先生们，Ladies and Gentlemen，我们难道不理会一个死人的最后遗愿吗？ " 技术人员不大热衷。经过和电视制片以及恩力克的一番谈判后，大家终于决定迅速拍摄一个内部版本，用长镜头，肩扛摄像机，模仿大导演拉斯。冯特里尔的“Dogma ”的风格。（那年冬天，所有用录像机拍的玩意都贴着这个丹麦标签。）以下就是“清丽佳人”的dogma 版本：塔玛拉在柚木色调的内景里散步，她优雅地脱下T 恤衫，将它放在阳台的栏杆上，然后，裸露上身看着镜头。她把乳酪抹在胸上和脸上。她转过身，在花园里赤脚跳跃。她冲她的脱脂奶酪发脾气，大喊：“我要吃了你。”然后在刚刚染了色的草地上翻滚，她的胸上沾满了绿色和“清丽佳人”。她舔着上唇上的白色乳酪，喃喃呻吟（镜头推到她淌着产品的脸部）：“嗯……清丽佳人，它到口中是多么美妙。” 真是天才之作。我们决定先不给麦多纳，而是先寄给戛纳的国际广告节。若是捧回个金狮奖，杜勒只能拍手叫好。 马隆涅也一定会欣赏我们的热忱的。这样，我们可以问心无愧地回巴黎，去坐在他那还没有冷却的交椅上。但这一切似乎对查理还不够，显然这堵城墙从来没有如此坚固。当晚，我们在“液体吧”开完庆祝会后，查理把我们拖进一个之后让人后悔莫及的所谓兜风当中，我在此不得不把它讲述出来。 “液体吧”里，无数的频闪器把空间分割成一块块的。一个上了年纪的施虐受虐狂走过舞池，紧身胸衣把她的腰束得只有十公分，她看上去就像一只黑皮做的计时沙漏。 “你知道这老太婆让我想起什么了吗？在欧洲，很多公司大量裁员就是为了给在迈阿密的退休者赢得更多的钱财，不是吗？” “嗯，大概能这么说吧。佛罗里达的老人们都是那些掌控跨国公司的退休基金的股东，所以，简单推理，是没错。” “既然我们就在此地，为什么不去探访一下其中一位地球的拥有者呢？如果我们已到他们的地盘而不向他们表明一下我们的观点，是不是有点犯傻。也许，我们还真能说服一位让他下次不要再解雇人了，你们说怎么样？” “我说你喝醉了，但也行，我们这就去。” 我们一行三人，塔玛拉，查理和我，就这样来到《迈阿密风云》的大街上，寻找着全球化了的股东代表。 “丁！冬！丁！冬丁冬丁冬丁！” 在迈阿密，连门铃声都在玩花样。这户不像其他门铃那样“丁零”作响，而是奏小夜曲。我们在珊瑚阁住宅区瞎逛了一个小时，寻找一个基金退休者来教训一下。最后，查理按响了一幢辉煌的摩洛哥式豪宅的门铃。 "Who is it?" “晚上好，夫人。您会说法语吗？” “会会，当然，其实，只会一点，但你们这么晚来敲门有什么事吗？” “呃，是塔玛拉，她就在这（塔玛拉向监视器微笑），她说她是您的孙女，沃德夫人。” 滋的一声。 大门敞开，出现在眼前的是一个木乃伊，或者至少是很久很久以前，在遥远的星际里一种应该叫女人的东西。她的鼻子、嘴巴、眼睛、额头和脸颊都全部充填了胶原质，身体其他部分则像一个皱了皮的马铃薯，这个比喻当然是由于她全身裹着的晨衣。 “她只有外表那层皮被操过。”查理有些粗野地宣称。 “你们刚才说什么？哪个孙女？我……” 太晚了。老太太还没来得及反抗，塔玛拉已经让她趴在地上了（她是柔道黑带）。我们便进入这座金碧辉煌的宫殿，墙上不是贴金就是镶嵌白色大理石，直让我们恶心。塔玛拉和查理把沃德夫人抬到一张带有迷幻图案的沙发上，它与它的主人曾经一定很时髦，当然是二十世纪的某个时候。 “既然您懂法语，沃德什么夫人，您可要乖乖地听着。这住的就您一人吗？” “是，我是说，不是。警察马上就会到。救命啊！Help！” “把她的嘴巴堵住。塔玛拉，用你的头巾？” "Row." 她把她的头巾塞进那张嘴里，查理随即坐在老太太的身上。我向你们保证，他的体重跟他的笑话一样粗野。这退休老女人终于能够安静下来听他想说的话了。 “您看，夫人，这让您赶上了，但这会发生在任何一个对当今苦难负有责任的人身上。您要知道，从今天开始，类似的访问将很经常。现在，到让那些美国退休基金的股东们了解的时候了，让他们知道他们不能在不受任何惩罚的情况下，继续随时毁灭百万无辜人的生活。我说得很明白吧。” 查理打开了话匣子。沉默寡言的人总是这样，一旦他们开口，没人能阻止他们说下去。 “听说过路易。费迪南。塞利纳的《长夜漫漫的旅程》吗？” “嗯夫嗯嗯夫。” “不对，塞利纳不是鞋子的牌子。他是一位法国作家。有个叫巴尔达米的，是他小说里主人公。这巴尔达米在地球上转了一圈就是为了寻找一个有罪的人。 他经历了战争、苦难、疾病，他去了非洲、美洲，他一直都没有找到该对我们的悲惨负责的人。这本书1932年出版，五年后，塞利纳找到了替罪羊：犹太人。 " 塔玛拉趁机参观这座庸俗不堪的房子。她打开冰箱，给自己拿了罐啤酒，也给我们每人拿了一罐。查理仍在那个奇丑无比的沙发上，骑着木乃伊，我，则忙着记录他继续发表的长篇大论。 “我们都知道，塞利纳最终误入歧途，成为可悲的反犹分子，原谅我的同义词迭用。但是，我们像巴尔达米一样，也在寻找负责之人。这位在场的年轻小姐叫塔玛拉。她就问她为什么一定要出卖肉体才能寄钱给她的女儿。站在我身边的这个白痴叫奥克塔夫，他也不断地扪心自问，看看他那得了肺结核的白脸就知道。 到底是谁在腐蚀这个世界？那些坏人到底是谁？是塞尔维亚人？俄国黑手党？伊斯兰激进分子？哥伦比亚毒枭？这些都是拿来吓唬人的，就像三十年代捏造的什么'犹太－共济会阴谋'。您明白了我要说的吧，沃德傻瓜夫人。我们的替罪羊就是您。在这个地球上，让我们每个人都了解自己的行为所产生的后果很重要。 例如，如果我购买孟山都的产品，就等于我支持转基因食品和农作物种籽的私有化。您把您的积蓄交给一个理财集团以获得足够的利息，以便在迈阿密的富人区购买这栋恐怖的别墅。您大概没有好好想过您这么做的后果，您这个决定对于您很一般，对于我们来说则具有决定性。您明白吗？这个决定让您成为世界的主宰。 " 查理拍着她的脸颊，好让她睁开充满泪水的眼睛。老妇发出微弱的悲哀的叫声，被头巾堵得有些喘不过气来。 “您知道，”他继续他的演讲，“我小的时候，很喜欢看占姆士。邦德的电影。那里面总有一个坏蛋想成为世界主宰。他在地下堡垒训练秘密军队，而且动不动就用引爆从乌兹别克斯坦偷来的原子弹相要胁。您记得那些电影吗，沃德蠢猪夫人？但是，我最近才发现，占姆士。邦德跟路易。费迪南。塞利纳一样都搞错了，世界主宰并不是这个样子，这很可笑吧。其实，世界主宰穿着粗鄙的晨衣，住在一栋丑陋的房子里，戴着一个蓝头发的发套，嘴里塞着头巾，而且，并不知道自己就是世界主宰。这就是您，沃德痴呆夫人。您知道我们是谁吗？007 ！哒哒哒，哒哒哒哒！” 查理哼着约翰。贝瑞谱写的电影音乐。他唱得没走调，但这并没阻止我们的世界主宰把头埋在范思哲（看来他并没有死，因为他的作品还活着）风格的花哨刺目的枕头里，发出悲恸的哭泣。 “别试图博得我们的同情，沃德他妈的夫人。就是为了你们的缘故，才出现大量裁员、密集型规模重整和社会救助计划的滥用，才造成整个社区的分崩离析，当您看到这一切时，您有没有表示出一丁点的同情？所以，您就别在这装模作样了。有点尊严，一切就会太平无事。我叫邦德，占姆士。邦德。我们今天来到您这地方，只是为了让您告诉那个持有两千亿欧元的富兰克林坦伯顿退休基金会，告诉它不许再继续向公司企业要求同样的效益，否则，将会有更多像我们这样的人来造访像您这样的人，您听明白了吗？” 此时塔玛拉插嘴道：“等等，查理，我看她想给你看一样东西。” 的确，老妇用她那肥胖的手指指向矮桌上一幅镶了框的黑白照片，上面是个微笑着的戴着军帽的英俊美国士兵。 “嗯夫嗯夫嗯夫！！！”她极力地喊着。 我把头巾从她嘴里拿出来，以便能听清楚她想要说什么。她突然像只黄鼠狼一样，大声嚎叫起来：“我们在44年救了你们的小命！我丈夫就死在他妈的诺曼底！！看看，王八蛋，这就是登陆那天死在你们那里的我丈夫的照片！！” 就个人而言，我认为她有点道理。但这却让查理失去控制。我对他家人的经历并不知晓，说实在的，这些对于我也是新闻。 “听着，我的小姐，今晚我们不拿死人扔来扔去。这个战争，你们参与是为了推销可口可乐。是可口可乐杀死了你丈夫！至于我，我的父亲自杀，是因为人家为提高利润把他开除了。我看到他悬挂在那里。你懂吗？臭婊子！是你杀死了我父亲！” 他对她抽打得有点过头了，老妇鼻子流出血来。我向你们发誓我曾试图阻止他，但酒精让他力大无比。 “你杀死了我的父亲，老母猪，你现在就来偿还这笔债！” 他对她一顿痛打，拳头冲着眼窝，在她的鼻子上砸碎啤酒瓶，砸飞她的假牙套，并把它塞进她的下身。总之，我们可以认为他是决定缩短这个带给他痛苦的生命历程，反正它快要完结了，但是，也可以把这看作是一次失控。简言而之，五分钟过后（这其实很长，例如，一回合拳击赛比这个还短），沃德夫人没气了，一股粪便的恶臭弥漫了整个房间。范思哲的沙发套得进洗衣店了。 塔玛拉似乎对这些失控场面习惯了，没有半声埋怨。在量过老妇的脉搏，也就是说证实了她的死亡后，她以最快的速度井然有序地收拾残局。她命令我们将尸体挪到希腊罗马风格的扶梯下，然后，我们踮着脚尖走出这个肮脏的豪宅，最后还不忘用石头捣毁监视摄像机。 “你认为它有录下来吗？” “不会，这只是个对讲监视器。” “总之，即使有什么蛛丝马迹，这也没人认识我们。” 这最后一句话让那些在安全监视屏幕前值班的人觉得好笑（他们其中一个是海地人，说流利的法语），而当他们发现沃德夫人死于暴力袭击，要给迈阿密警察局打份报告时，就不觉得好笑了。 也就是从这时候开始，我停止了思考。住宅区空无一人。查理恢复了理智。 他跟塔玛拉都同意：“她那沙发的确是俗不可耐。” 我们在麦当娜俱乐部结束了这个夜晚。这是个脱衣舞酒吧，里面穿着丝袜吊带的舞女都经过完美的改造（也许对这些太空女人，我们可以专门用个词：“完美再造物”），她们一场舞后过来用她们的嘴叼出你放在你裤裆里的十元美钞。 我们为那些美妙无比但不是真实的乳房喝彩。 “女人总是这样，”查理说，“要么让你沮丧，要么让你恶心。” 塔玛拉的职业骄傲受到刺激，她随即给我们免费来了个出色的表演。她站在吧台上，一边吸吮着她的科罗纳啤酒瓶嘴，一边用我的伏特加的冰块使她的乳头坚挺，直到人家因为不正当竞争把我们赶出了门。然后，我们三个人在酒店的“付钱即看”节目前睡着了，节目演的是个精彩的色情片，尤其是那幕双拳入肛，说实在的，我纳闷这在技术上是不是可能，但我必须承认，那女演员的喊叫让我不禁在裤子里到了。 第二天，我们搭机返回巴黎（仍坐五千欧元的商务舱，菜单上提供“荞麦面鸟巢配奥赛嘉鱼子酱加一抹鲜番茄汁）。查理告诉我说他将接受创意总监的任命。 我祈祷飞机这次能坠毁，但是像往常一样，又是什么也没发生。我就这样在一天之内，成为公司老板兼杀人案同犯。 我们回到巴黎后，在电脑里发现了一份给罗瑟利广告公司全体职员电邮通告（大概是用自动翻译软件写的）：“罗瑟利。维奇克拉夫公司尊敬的朋友们：对于我们的顾客、我们的股东和你们所有人来说，我的一个最重要的责任就是指出罗瑟利。维奇克拉夫公司的未来之发展方向。近几年来，我们有幸能从优秀的管理当中得到许多益处。一群有才能的精英不但让公司成为国际销售专家，进而达到我们的目标；同时还把公司纳入并成功转变成大众传媒前沿的领路先锋。今天，我不仅要肯定他们对我们的成功至关重要，还要为罗瑟利。维奇克拉夫公司在第三个千年的发展动力做好准备。 为此，我以极大的满足和自豪向你们宣布，任命让。弗郎索瓦。帕尔科为罗瑟利。维奇克拉夫公司巴黎分公司总裁。菲利普。昂哲凡提升为欧洲总裁，并授予名誉董事长的职位。这些任命立即生效。作为名誉董事长的菲利普，将有更多的时间做他一直想做的事，致力于带给市场一种高质量的、纳入全球成果的传播沟通。 Let.弗郎索瓦的新职位将能让他集中做他最善于做的，就是致力于提高质量，针对我们面临的国际经济增长问题制定出新的战略策略。自从1992年以来，让。 弗郎索瓦一直就知道怎样用他工作的干劲和活力来不断赢得客户麦多纳的信心。 我再次尤其要亲自地感谢菲利普，感谢他作为法国分公司总裁的工作的巨大成功。我相信，他一定会利用他实地工作经验和对客户的了解来建立一个欧洲网络。 Let.弗郎索瓦建议，由奥克塔夫。帕朗哥和查理。纳古来接替马克。马隆涅成为创意总监，他还会通知你们其他的变动。马克。马隆涅悲剧性的意外丧生让所有朋友和同事都备受震惊。我想告诉马克的家人，他对概念的直觉和适时的创意，丰富了公司的历史和全球传播业的发展。 我会竭尽所能来协助让。弗郎索瓦、奥克塔夫和查理，我希望你们也如此。 当我看罗瑟利。维奇克拉夫公司的未来时，我满怀自豪与自信。作为领袖的罗瑟利。维奇克拉夫公司在其二十一世纪的业绩发展将一直保持最高水平。 此致敬礼！ 爱德华。 S.小法伶哲这个混帐查理早在拍摄的一个星期前，就以我们俩的名义接受了这个任命。如今，我只需要签几个字而已。我对我自己说，接受了以后，或许我能有些权力来改变一些东西。wrong!我们不会把权力交给那些会运用的人。 另外，什么权力？权力只是一个过时的发明。权力如今被分割，被稀释，以致于这个体制也对此无能为力。我们却还在不断重复着葛兰西的信念：“要想劫机，必须先上飞机。”命运是怎样的一个讽刺。当我们进入了驾驶机舱，拿着手雷，端着冲锋枪，准备给机长下命令时，我们才发现根本没有什么机长。我们想劫持的是一架无人驾驶的飞机。 总该有人付钱：这则广告后再见。 在卢浮宫的地下卡尔赛广场。一场大型时装表演正要举行。人群涌向表演厅大门，几个漂亮的戴红领带的扬森。Germany.塞伊高中的学生在把守。我们走进大厅时，它已快被地球上所有的VIP 们撑破了。 灯光暗下来。“啊！”观众当中发出低低的惊叹声。只见，台上伴着Techno-Dirty-Metal-Hard-Acid-House音乐出场的女孩全身都一丝不挂。观众为那些没有任何衣物遮盖的美丽绝伦的模特们神魂颠倒：挺拔的胸，滚圆的臀，修长的腿，剃成四方形的毛。突然，她们在台上停下来，将她们有着美甲的手滑到腋下，找到一个拉锁。然后她们拉开她们那绸缎般的皮肤，像脱掉潜水服那样脱去那层外皮。此时，观众席中，一位上了年纪的女公爵晕了过去。一个大胡子、戴着墨镜的男人射在他前面的人身上。 一个十二岁的女孩一边舔着阳具状的冰淇淋，一边在她的两腿间抚弄。 在她们的人造皮下，这些模特是有着金属身躯、闪闪发光、淬过火的钢制机械人！其中一个身上贴满了剪碎的一百欧元面值钞票，另一个开始狂吐硬币，第三个像撒碎纸屑似的抛洒出一大堆信用卡。她们是名副其实的钱箱机器人。另外有个模特，像自动提款机似的，从她的金属阴户中吐出钞票。 人群起立鼓掌欢呼，大家发出快感的叫喊。气氛像过电似的。音乐一直加速，直到无法忍受。观众们的脑袋都炸了。人们遗憾地发现十几个心肌梗塞，后排发生多起轮奸。 产品特写是一位全裸的泰国少女，置身在如雨般掉落的钱币中间。 广告词大字号印出：“直接奔向目标，妓女处享高潮。” 接下来是按照法律规定的加注：“以上信息来自全法支持重开妓院联盟（FFRMC）。”