Chapter 18 Chapter 01

A minute later we were all laughing like crazy. "Listen to me, listen to me," Alyosha overwhelmed the laughter of all of us with a clear voice. "They think it's the same as it used to be...I'm here to talk about trivial things...I'll tell you, I have a very interesting thing.Do you have a problem! " He wanted so badly to say what he wanted to say.From the way he looked, he seemed to have important news.But, with an innocent pride in the possession of such news in his hands, he made a triumphant prelude--this Natasha couldn't help but burst out laughing at the secondary expression.Because she laughed, I couldn't help laughing with her.So the angrier he was to us, the more we laughed.Alyosha's annoyed expression immediately developed into a childish expression.

Desperation as much as it is -- his countenance finally makes us look like Gogol's Warrant Officer, just hold out a finger to him, and he will immediately fall back and forth with laughter.Mafra also came out of the kitchen, stood at the door, looked angrily at She looked at us both very annoyed, she had been waiting happily for five days for Natasha to give Alyosha a slap in the face, and now it turned out to be the opposite, and everyone was happy. At last Natasha stopped laughing when she saw that we were laughing to the displeasure of Alyosha. "What do you want to say?" she asked.

"Would you like to bring the samovar up?" Mavra asked, interrupting Alyosha's words unceremoniously. "Let's go, Mafra, you can go," he replied, waving at her again and again, rushing her away. "I will tell you all that has been, is, and will be, because I know it all. My friends, I I can see you want to know where I've been these five days--that's all I wanted to tell you; but you won't let me.Listen, number one, I've been lying to you all this time, Natasha, all this time, I've been lying to you You got it, that's the main thing. "

"Lied to me?" ① It comes from the eighth scene of the second act in Gogol's play. "Yes, I lied to you. I have lied to you for a whole month; it started before my father came back; now it is time for a thorough confession. A month ago, before my father came back, I suddenly received a letter from him very thick letter, this I've been keeping it from both of you.He told me straight up in his letter (note, I was taken aback by the seriousness of his letter), that the business was settled and that Jane, my fiancée, was perfect; , I am not good enough for her.But I still have to marry her.In order to prepare me mentally, I have to get all the crap out of my head, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

What do bad things mean.This is the letter, I hid it and didn't show it to you..." "No hiding at all!" interrupted Natasha. "Listen to him talking nonsense! In fact, he told us everything at once, and I remember, you suddenly became very obedient and affectionate. You never left me, like doing something wrong , and then told us the contents of the letter intermittently. " "Impossible. I definitely didn't tell you the main thing. Maybe the two of you have learned something. That's your business. Anyway, I didn't tell you. I'm hiding it from you, and I feel very painful."

"Alyosha, I remember that you consulted with me from time to time and told me everything, of course, in bits and pieces, as a hypothesis," I added, looking at Natasha. . "Say it all! Excuse me, please don't brag!" She interjected, "Oh, what can you hide from others? Huh, you are going to lie, it's far away! Even Mavra You know it all too. You know it, Mavra?" "Hmph, why don't you know!" Mavra poked his head towards us and replied, "I told you everything in the first three days. You're going to play tricks, you're not that good!"

"Oh, it's annoying to talk to you. You're doing it just to annoy me, Natasha! Mafra, you're mistaken too. I remember, I was like a madman; remember, Mafra ?” "Why don't you remember. You're also like a lunatic now." "No, no, that's not what I mean. Do you remember! We had no money then, and you pawned my silver commissions; and chiefly, I warn you, Mafra, that you were too loose with me. Nataz got used to you. Well, even if I I told you all intermittently at that time (I remember this now).But the tone of this letter, the tone, you don't know, and the most important thing in the letter is the tone.This is what I want from people now. "

"Well, what's the tone?" Nataz asked. "I said Nataxiu, you hesitate to ask this as a joke. Don't be kidding. I can assure you, this is very important, and I feel cold when I hear this. Father has never talked to me like that. Just Said, rather Lisbon house collapsed house collapsed ①, also can not do according to his will.This is what he used! " "Tell me: why are you keeping it from me?" "Oh, my God! To keep you from being frightened. I want to tell you when I have settled everything myself. Well, it is so, when my father comes back after receiving this letter, my misery And it's coming. I'm ready, I'm going to

to answer him firmly, clearly, and seriously, but somehow never got the chance.And he didn't even ask; cunning!On the contrary, he acted as if the matter had been settled, as if there was no possibility of any further disputes and conflicts between the two of us. Misunderstood.Heard no, not even possible; he was so confident!To me it became so affectionate and affable that I wondered.Ivan Petrovich, you have no idea how clever he is!He has read everything and knows everything ; As long as you meet him once, he can know all your thoughts like a treasure.That is probably why he was called a hypocrite, and Natasha didn't like it when I praised him.Don't be angry, Natasha.Well, it's like this... By the way

mouth!He didn't give me money at first, but now he does, just yesterday.Natasha!my angel!Now our poor days are over!Well, lo and behold!In order to punish me for the past six months, he withheld my money and made it up yesterday; Ah; I haven't counted the miles yet.Mafra, look how much money there is!Now we don't have to be spoons and collar buttons anymore! " He took out of his pocket a wad of bills, about fifteen hundred silver rubles, and put them on the table.Mafra looked at the wad of money happily and praised Alyosha a few words.Natasha kept urging him to speak. "Well, that's it--I thought, what should I do?" continued Alyosha, "how can I turn against him? That is, I can swear to you both that if he is cruel to me, instead of So easy to talk, I'll be desperate. I

I would tell him bluntly, I don’t want to, I’ve grown up, I’m an adult, but now—it’s all decided.Trust me, I will stand by my point of view.But now—what am I going to say to him?However, don't blame me.i can see Come out, you don't seem satisfied, Natasha.What are you two doing looking at each other?Probably, you are thinking: Look at this guy, he has fallen into the trap of talking without any firmness.I am firm, and stronger than you think!As for the evidence, The proof is that, despite the embarrassment of my present situation, I said to myself at once: It is my duty; I must tell my father everything, everything, and so I said it all, and he told me what I had said. listen carefully up. " ① Lisbon, the capital of Portugal, suffered a major earthquake in 1755, killing 60,000 people and destroying countless houses. ②The tableware and collar buttons of rich people are all made of silver. "Tell him what, what did you tell him?" asked Natasha worriedly. "I told him I didn't want any other fiancée because I had--and that was you. That is to say I haven't said it outright until now, but I've mentally prepared him for it, I can't say tomorrow; I've I have made up my mind.I started by telling him that marrying money was disgraceful and disgraceful, that we were fools for thinking we were nobles (I was as open and frank with him as a brother to his brother).Then I immediately explained to him, I'm the third class, and the third class is the point; I'll also say that I'm proud that I'm like everyone else, and I don't want to be any different from anyone... I say it warmly and nicely.I feel admiration for myself.Finally, I also Prove to him that I've dealt with another man... I said straight to the point: what kind of dukes are we?It's just the blessing of the ancestors; in fact, how can there be a duke in us?First of all, it is not particularly rich, but money is the most important thing .At present, the most important duke is Rothschild.Secondly, we have long been unknown in real high society, and the last person of any renown was Uncle Semyon Varkovsky, and even he was only in Moscow. A little famous, and that's only because he spent all the money he sold off the last three hundred serfs.If the father hadn't earned a sum of money, his children and grandchildren might have to farm the land by themselves.Now there are many dukes who are called dukes. Sir, therefore we have nothing to be arrogant about.In a word, I said everything I wanted to say--everything, warmly and frankly, and even a lot of embellishments.He didn't even offer a rebuttal, just blamed me for not going to worship At Count Nainsky's house, and later he said that he should flatter my godmother, Princess K., and that if Princess K. welcomes me and treats me well, everything will be fine for me, and my future will be promising. He talked and talked and said Endless!These words are nothing more than hints, na Tasha, since I've been with you, I've abandoned them all; so it's all under your influence.But then again, until now, he hasn't talked about you directly, or even explicitly avoided you.We're both playing tricks, We are all waiting for the opportunity to catch each other. Don't worry, we will have a day of clapping our hands to celebrate. " "That's great; what happened, how did he decide? That's all that matters. You talk a lot, Alyosha..." ①The original text is French.The third class refers to urban industrial and commercial persons without any privileges other than monks and nobles, and later includes farmers and urban commoners. ②Rothschild (1743-1812), a big German banker and financial tycoon.In the nineteenth century, the Rothschild family's silver numbers spread all over Europe. In Russian, Rothschild has become a synonym for money. "Only God knows what medicine he sells in his gourd, no idea how he decided; I'm not talking nonsense at all, I'm talking business: he didn't even decide anything, just laughed at my rant, but he smiled strangely , as if pitying me.I know it's insulting, but I'm not ashamed.He said, I totally agree with you, but let's go see Count Nainsky first, but be careful, don't say this A class of words.I know you, but they don't know you.It seemed that they had not received very warmly even with him; they were angry with him for some reason.Generally speaking, in high society, people don't seem to like father very much!count At first I was full of airs.Very arrogant, even when I was raised in his family, I seem to have forgotten it all, and it took me a long time to remember it.real!He was angry with me for my ingratitude, which I wasn't at all ungrateful at all; it was boring in his house-- That's why I didn't go.His attitude towards his father was also extremely indifferent; and so indifferent that I don't even understand why he kept going to him.All this made me very angry.Poor father must grovel before him knee; I understand that he did it all for me, but I don't want anything.I originally wanted to tell my father all my emotions in the future, but I pressed it down.Why bother!I can't change his belief anyway, I can only annoy him; Chaos, he was bored enough.So I thought I might as well try to outmaneuver them all, and make the earl respect me and admire me--what was the result?I got my wish right away, and changed everything in one day. Now!Now, Count Nainsky doesn't even know where to sit for me.I did this all by myself, I used my brains and made some small plans, so even my father spread his hands and expressed his inconceivability! ..." "I said, Alyosha, you'd better talk about business!" Natasha cried impatiently, "I thought you were going to tell us about us, but you just want to talk about your life in Nain. How the Earl Ski's family made a big show. My respect to your Earl Not interested! " "No interest! Did you hear, Ivan Petrovich, she said no interest! The most important thing is right here. You'll see for yourself in a moment; then everything will be self-evident. But let me Let's go on... And in the end (why not say it openly!), it is so, Natasha, and you, Ivan Petrovich, I may indeed be too ignorant sometimes; well, yes, one might even say ( You know, it often happens ), just plain stupid.But this time, I assure you, I did a lot of things that you didn't expect... well... and, in the end, I even acted smart; so I think you see that I don't always so... Stupid, must be very happy. " "Oh, come on, Alyosha! My dear! . . . " Natasha couldn't stand being called Alyosha stupid.Many times she got sullen and got angry with me, though she didn't say it, because I proved to Alyosha so unceremoniously what stupid things he had done;she can't stand it Others belittled Alyosha, not least because she, too, was aware of his health in the depths of her heart.But she never told him her opinion, for fear of damaging his self-esteem.Under these circumstances, his senses were somehow extraordinarily acute, and he could always Guess the secret feelings in her heart.Natasha was very sad when she saw this, and at once she spoke kindly to him and made out with him.Now, that was the reason why his words aroused pain in her heart. "Come on, Alyosha, you just don't like to use your head, you're not like that at all," she added. "Why do you demean yourself?" "Well, well; then let me finish. My father was even very angry with me after the count. Wait a minute, I thought! We were driving to see the Duchess; I had already heard that, She is a bit old and confused, besides the ears Also carries, and loves puppies very much.She has a whole pack of dogs and loves them like hell.Despite this, she still has a great influence on the upper class, and even Count Nainsky, who is invincible①, had to visit her to greet her②.So along the way I drew up Do you know the basis of my plan for the next step?I'm based on the fact that all dogs like me, really!I figured this out a long time ago.Maybe it's because I have a kind of attraction, or maybe it's because I like all kinds of things very much. I don't know what all kinds of animals are like, anyway, dogs like me, that's all!By the way, about attraction, I haven't told you yet, Natasha, we went to a spiritualist the other day, and I went to see a master spiritualist; It was so interesting, Ivan Petrovich, I was even taken aback.I have summoned the soul of Caesar. " "Oh, my God! What do you want Caesar for?" cried Natasha, laughing. "There are so many wonders!" "Why...it seems like I'm nothing...why don't I have the right to call in Caesar's soul? And half of his hair is indispensable! Still laughing!" "Of course, half a hair on him is necessary... Oh, my dear! Well, what did Caesar say to you?" "I didn't say anything. I just held a pencil, and the pencil moved automatically on the paper and wrote the words. People say that it was Caesar who was writing. I don't believe that." "What did he write?" ①②The original text is French. ③Caesar (100-44 BC), ancient Roman commander, statesman, and writer. ④ It is equivalent to the Fushi in our country. "He wrote words like 'Obermokne' in Gogol's play. ... Don't laugh!" "Go on and talk about the Duchess!" "Oh, but you keep interrupting me. We came to the Duchess's, and I started by sucking up to Mimi, who was an old, nasty, rotten little dog, with a very bad temper, Also loves to bite. The Duchess bite loves it, loves it As hell; as big as it is.I first fed Mimi with candy, and within ten minutes I taught it to stretch out its paws to shake hands with people, but no one else can teach it to shake hands and so on in a lifetime.The joy of the Duchess cannot be mentioned; She was so happy that she almost cried: 'Mimi!Mimi!Mimi will shake hands! ’ As soon as someone came to visit, she said: ‘Mimi will shake hands!This is what I taught and taught it! ’ she exclaimed as soon as Count Nainsky entered the door: ‘Mimi will hold hands! ' she looked at me as she spoke, and was almost moved to tears, a very sweet old lady; it was pitiful even to look at her.I seized the opportunity and flattered her in every possible way: she had a snuff bottle with a picture of herself painted on it. The portrait was drawn by her sixty years ago when she was a daughter in her natal family.She accidentally dropped the snuff bottle on the floor, and I picked it up, pretending not to know, and said: This portrait is so beautiful②!It is simply an ideal difference!Well, this time, she My heart was full of joy, my bones were all brittle; I talked about the daily life with me, asked me where I went to school in the past, whose house I often went to, and said that my hair grew beautifully, and a lot of things like that.I also took the opportunity to amuse her, made her laugh, and told her something Disgraceful scandal.That's what she loves to hear; just frighten me with a finger, and then she's all smiles, very happy.When she let me go, she kissed me, crossed me, and told me to go to her house every day to relieve her boredom .The count held my hand, and his eyes were fawning.As for my father, although he was a very kind, upright, and noble man, believe it or not, when we got home, he was so happy that he almost cried; He hugged me, talked to me about everything, and told me some mysterious things in his heart, such as future, relationship, money, marriage.I didn't understand many words.Just then, he gave me a sum of money.This happened yesterday.I will go tomorrow The Duchess, but my father is a very noble man after all --- don't think badly of him, although he asked me to leave you, Natasha, it was because he was obsessed with money, because he had his eyes on Ka The best million-dollar furniture, and you just set these; He is open to money because of me, he is only unfair to you because he doesn't know you.Then again, which father doesn't want his son to be happy?He is used to it, thinking that as long as he has a million pieces of furniture, he will have happiness. Can blame him.All of them are like this.You know, he has to be seen from this point of view, and not from any other--and then he appears right at once.I have come to see you, Natasha, to convince you of this, because I know you're prejudiced against him, and of course it's not your fault.I don't blame you..." ① Originated from Gogol's completed play "The Lawsuit" (1842): The female landowner wrote her name "Evdokia" as "Olemokny" in her will, It means graffiti. ②The original text is French. "Is that what happened to your self-satisfaction that you were favored by the Duchess? Is that what the so-called small tricks mean?" asked Natasha. "Where! What's the matter with you! This is just the beginning... The reason why I want to talk about the Duchess is to get my father in my hands through her. Do you understand that the most important thing I want to say has not yet begun. Mile." "Okay, then go ahead!" "An incident, even a very strange one, happened to me today, and I am still in shock," continued Alyosha. ok but As yet no formal engagement has been signed, so that if we parted immediately there would be no trouble; only Count Nainsky knew, but he was a relation and patron of my family.In addition, although these two weeks, I I have become good friends with Katya, but until this evening I haven't said a word to her about the future, that is, about marriage, and... I haven't talked about whether I love her or not.In addition, the consent of Duchess K should be obtained first, because We want to have her protection in every way, and we hope that the money will flow from it.Her attitude is the attitude of high society; she knows a lot of people, and they are all high-ranking people... They must want to lead me into high society and establish myself there heel.But it was the countess, Katya's stepmother, who was particularly insistent on this.The problem is, because of all the things she has done abroad, the duchess may not see her at present, and if the duchess does not meet, others will It is also very likely that there will be no reception, so this is a good opportunity to make a relationship with the Duchess while I am a matchmaker with Katya.Therefore, the countess, who had been opposed to this marriage in the past, was overjoyed to hear that I had succeeded today at the duchess's house. It's crazy, but let's not talk about it, the main thing is: I knew Katerina Fyodorovna already last year; Out of her..." "It's just that you loved me more then," Natasha interrupted him, "that's why I couldn't see it, but now..." "Stop it, Natasha," cried Alyosha enthusiastically, "you are completely mistaken, you are insulting me! . , you are so ignorant of Katya! You don't know, she has What a tender, clear, dove-like heart!But you'll find out after a while; just listen to it!Two weeks ago, after their arrival, my father took me to see Katya, and I began to look at her carefully.I found that she was also looking at I.This completely aroused my curiosity; not to mention that my desire to know her better had another purpose--an attempt which I had just received from my father who astonished me.I don't want to say much, and I don't intend to praise her, all I have to say is one thing : She is the glaring exception to this whole circle.This is a different woman, she has a strong and honest heart, she is strong because she is pure and honest, I am like a child in front of her, her little brother, Although she is only seventeen years old.I also found something else: she had a lot of sadness in her heart, as if she had a lot of secrets in her heart; she didn't like to talk, she was almost always silent at home, she seemed to be cowering... she seemed to be thinking about something.seems to see It was as if my father was terrified.She doesn't like her stepmother—that, I can see; the countess spreads the word that her stepdaughter loves her very much for some purpose; it's not true: Katya is just obedient to her, like the two of them It was a gentlemen's agreement between the two; and four days ago, after I had made this investigation, I resolved to carry out my intention, and I did it tonight.That is, to tell Katya everything, to admit everything to her, to tell her Pull it over to us.Then it's over..." "What! Tell her what, confess to her?" asked Natasha anxiously. "Everything is exactly as it is, and nothing is lost," answered Alyosha; "I thank God for giving me this idea; but listen to me, listen to me! Four days ago I decided this: leave You, I come by myself to this cut.If I were with you, I would waver and waver, follow your advice, and never make up my mind.If I were alone and put myself in this situation, I'd be chanting to myself every minute, it must be over, it should be over Yes, so I mustered up the courage--it's really all over!I decided to come back to you when I have the results, and now I finally come back with the results! " "What, what? What's going on? Tell me!" "Very simple! I approached her directly, squarely, and resolutely. . . But first, before I do this, I want to tell you something that surprised me. Before we went out, Father received a letter letter.I was just entering his study and stopped at the door.He didn't see me.The letter surprised him so much that he started talking to himself, exclaiming, walking up and down the room involuntarily, and finally burst out laughing. Laughing, while holding the letter in his hand.I didn't even dare to go in, waited for a while, and then went in.My father seemed to be happy about something, and he was very happy; when he talked to me, he looked a little strange; It stopped suddenly again and made me prepare to go out immediately, although it was still early.There is no one in their house today, just the two of us, Natasha, you think there is a party and party there today, you are wrong again.What you heard was wrong..." "Oh, don't give me a hammer here and there, Alyosha, please; just tell me how you told Katya everything!" "Fortunately, I stayed alone with her for two hours. I simply told her that although she intended to bring us together, our union was impossible; I also said that Xinwei had a good impression of her, Because only she can save me .That's when I disclosed everything to her.Just think, she doesn't know anything about us, Natasha!You have no idea how moved she was; she was even scared at first.She turned pale.I told her all about us: Why did you run away from home because of me, how we lived together, how miserable we are now, and afraid of everything, so now, we can only ask her for help (I am speaking on your behalf, Natasha) , hope she can come to our side, Telling her stepmother straight out that she didn't want to marry me, that we could be saved, and that we had nothing else to ask, and no one else, she listened with interest and sympathy.How beautiful her eyes were then!as if her whole All souls were transferred into this look of hers.Her eyes are extremely blue.She thanked me, said I had no doubts about her, and assured her that she would do everything in her power to help us.Then she asked about you again, she said she wanted to talk to you I know each other, she even asked me to tell you that she has already loved you like a sister, and when she heard that I hadn’t seen you for the fifth day, she immediately drove me away and urged me to come and see you... " Natasha was deeply moved. "Before that, you were able to talk and talk about all the feats you had done with a deaf princess! Oh, you, Alyosha, Alyosha!" she cried, looking at him reproachfully. "And what about Cash? Letting you go Is she happy, happy? " "Yes, she's happy because she's doing *a noble thing, and she's empty herself. Because she loves me too, Natats! She admits she's already begun to love me; and says she seldom I met someone, and said she liked me a long time ago; she So she looked at me differently, and because I was surrounded by deceit and lies, and I seemed to her an honest and upright person. She stood up and said; 'Well, God bless you, Alexey Petrovich, I thought...' She didn't After speaking, he cried and walked away.We agreed that tomorrow she would tell her stepmother that she did not want to marry me, and that tomorrow I would tell my father everything, and that I would say it all with firmness and courage.She blamed me, why didn't I tell her earlier:' A man of honor has nothing to fear! 'She is such a noble person.She didn't treat my father well either; she said he was a slippery man and greedy for money.I defended my father; she didn't believe me.In case I talk to my father tomorrow and the talk fails (she takes ten I firmly believe that the negotiation will not succeed), she asked me to go to Princess K and ask her for help.At that time, then I dare not object.She and I pledged to each other to remain brother and sister.Ah, it's a pity that you don't know her body, don't know how ugly she is. Fortunately, how disgusted she is with her life with her stepmother and the whole environment... She didn't say it directly, as if she was a little afraid of me, but I guessed it from the few words she revealed.Natasha, my baby!if she sees You, will appreciate you, like you!What a good heart she has!It is very relaxing to be with her!You two come out like a pair of sisters, you should love each other.I've been thinking about it.Really: I want to bring you two together and I stand aside and admire you all, don't think bad, Natashechka, just let me talk about her, I really want to tell you about her, talk about her, talk about her forever , you know what I love most is you, I love you more than her ……you are my Everything……" Natasha looked at him silently, affectionately and a little sadly.His words seemed both to comfort her and to pain her. "Earlier, as far as two weeks ago, I thought Katya was a good person," he continued. "You know, I made appointments to see them every night. When I came home, I kept thinking and thinking and thinking. You two, always put the two of you together and compare each other. " "Would it be better for us?" asked Natasha, smiling. "Sometimes it's you, sometimes it's her. But in the end, it's always you who's the best. When I talk to her I always feel like I'm getting better, wiser, and somehow nobler. But tomorrow , everything will be settled tomorrow.” "Don't you feel sorry for not loving her? Didn't she love you; didn't you say you noticed it yourself?" "It's a pity, Natasha! But, the three of us can love each other, then..." "See you then!" Natasha whispered as if talking to herself.Alyosha looked at her in bewilderment. But our conversation was suddenly interrupted by a situation that was never expected.There was a slight commotion from the kitchen (that is, the outhouse).It was as if someone had walked in.A minute later, Mavra opened the door and quietly nodded to Alyosha. Nodded, let him go out.We all turned to look at her. "Someone is looking for you, please come out," she said in a somewhat mysterious voice. "Who will come to me at this time?" Alyosha retreated, looking at us inexplicably. "I gonna go see!" In the kitchen stood one of the duke's (his father's) servants in capes.It turned out that the prince was driving home, passing by Natasha's house, stopped the carriage, and sent the servants in to ask if Alyosha was with her?The servant said this He went out immediately after speaking. ①Natasha's nickname. "Strange! Nothing like this has ever happened before," said Alyosha, looking at us in alarm. "What's the matter?" Natasha looked at him anxiously.Suddenly, Mafra opened the door again and walked in. "My lord is here, duke!" she said in a hasty voice, and immediately closed the door behind her. Natasha's face turned pale, and she stood up from her seat. Suddenly, her eyes shone brightly.She stopped, propped the table slightly, and looked excitedly at the door through which the unexpected guest would enter. "Natasha, don't be afraid, I'm here! I won't allow him to bully you," whispered Alyosha, who was terrified, but not yet panicked. The door was pushed open, and Duke Valkovsky suddenly appeared at the door.