Chapter 9 Chapter 07

She held the hat in her hand, and put it on the piano when she entered the room; then she came to me and held out her hand silently to me.Her lips moved slightly; she seemed to want to say something to me, to say something polite, but there was nothing. Did not say it. We haven't seen each other for three weeks.I looked at her with a kind of bewilderment and fear.What a change had come over her in these three weeks!When I saw her sunken, pale face, her lips chapped like a fever, her eyes long and dark I felt a pang of heartache as the fiery light under my eyelashes and the determination to give it all go.

① Natasha's name and paternal title. But God, how beautiful she was!Never, then, or since, have I seen her so beautiful as she was on this unlucky day.Is this the one, that Natasha, is this the little girl?Just a year ago, her two She kept her eyes fixed on me, moved her lips after me as I read my novel, and laughed so cheerfully and carefree at dinner, joking with her father and me.Is this the one in the room, low Natasha, head bowed, flushed with shame, saying "I love you" to me? There came a mighty bell, calling everyone to Vespers.She sneered, and the old lady crossed herself.

"Are you going to vespers, Natasha? Listen, the clock is striking," she said. "Go, Natashenka, go to your prayers, it's very close! You can go for a walk in the meantime." What are you doing sitting at home all the time? Look how pale you are, Like a demon. " "I... maybe... I won't go today," Natasha whispered slowly, almost in a whisper, "I... don't feel well," she added, her face as white as a white cloth . "Better go, Natasha; didn't you want to go just now, and, look, brought your hat. Go and pray, Natashenka, and God bless you," said Anna Ander. said Lyevna reassuringly, looking timidly at the

Daughter, as if afraid of her. "Yes, yes, go; you can go for a walk anyway," added the old man, looking anxiously into his daughter's face, "your mother is right. Let Vanya go with you." I seem to feel that there is a wry smile on Natasha's mouth.She went to the piano, took her hat, and put it on her head; her hands were shaking.Her every move seemed to be automatic, as if she had no idea what she was doing.Father He and his mother watched her every move carefully. "Farewell!" she said in a barely audible voice. "My angel, there's nothing to say, and it's not far away! Even out to let the wind blow; look how ugly you look. Oh! I almost forgot (how forgetful I am!)-- My angel, I made you a sachet,

There is also a prayer embroidered on the sachet; a nun who came to Kyiv taught me this last year; this prayer is just what I need; I just embroidered it.Put it on, Natasha.Maybe my lord God will give you health.We are only your daughter. " ① Natasha's nickname. ②Russian custom: In the sachet, either god incense or amulet, together with the cross, is worn on the chest for body protection. After all, the old lady took out from the sewing box a small cross that Natasha wore next to her body; on the same belt hung a freshly made sachet. "Put it on well!" She continued, putting the cross on her daughter, and crossing her again, "Once upon a time, I would cross you every night, wishing you a good sleep, I read prayers, and you too Read on. But now you are not what you used to be

Well, the Lord will not give you peace of mind.Oh, Natasha, Natasha!My motherly prayers won't help you! "The old lady started to cry after saying that. Natasha silently kissed her hand, and took a step towards the door; but turning suddenly and hastily, she went up to her father.Her breasts heaved violently together. "Father! You can also draw a sign of the cross to bless... your daughter," she said with a choked voice, and knelt down in front of him. We stood aside, baffled: this behavior of hers was unexpected, and it seemed too grand.Her father watched her for a moment in dismay.

"Natashenka, my child, my dear girl, my darling, what is the matter with you!" he cried at last, with tears streaming down his face. "What are you sad about? Why do you cry day and night? You know, I've seen it; I can't sleep at night Get up, stand outside your room and listen! . . . tell me, Natasha, open your heart to your old father, and we . . . " He couldn't go on, helped her up, and hugged her tightly.She clung to his chest tremblingly, resting her head on his shoulder. "It's nothing, it's nothing, it's just... I'm not feeling well..." she repeated, choked up with sobs.

"May God bless you as I do, my dear boy, my darling!" said the father. "May God keep you at peace forever, and keep you from any sorrow. Pray to God, my boy, May my sinful prayers be Be heard by God. " "And my blessings, my blessings to you!" The old lady added, tears streaming down her face. "Farewell!" whispered Natasha. She stopped at the door again, turned her head to look at them again, she wanted to say something, but couldn't speak, so she walked out of the room quickly.I had an ominous premonition and rushed out right behind her.