Chapter 16 poor joke - 1

Our dear country was beginning to be revived with unstoppable force, pure and touching passion, and all her heroic sons and daughters began to dream of a new future and hope, when a bad joke happened.It was past eleven o'clock on a clear and cold night in winter, and three very respectable gentlemen were sitting in a room in a beautiful two-story building on the outskirts of Petersburg.The rooms are comfortable and luxuriously furnished.They had a learned and beautiful conversation on rather novel topics.All three men held high-ranking positions.They sat around a small table in ornate soft easy chairs and sipped champagne comfortably as they talked.The bottle was placed in a silver wine cooler on a small table.It happened as follows: the host, Stepan Nikiforovich Nikiforov, a third-class civil servant, a bachelor of about sixty-five years old, celebrated his housewarming with a dinner in the newly purchased mansion, and at the same time celebrated his Birthday.His birthday also happened to be on that day.He had never celebrated his birthday in his life.In fact, the celebration was not very ostentatious, as we can see, there were only two guests.They were all former colleagues and subordinates of Mr. Nikiforov: one was Semyon Ivanovich Shupreko, a civil servant of the fourth class, and the other was Ivan Ilyich Pralensky, also a fourth-class civil servant. Waiting for civil servants.The two of them came about nine o'clock, drank tea and wine, and knew they would have to start at eleven-thirty.Homeowners usually pay attention to regularity.Now let's talk about his situation.He entered the officialdom from a lowly official, leisurely, dawdling, forty-five years in one job.He knows very well that he has reached the third rank, and now it is impossible to be lucky again, and there is no hope of promotion.

Therefore, he especially does not like to express his personal views on anything.He's honest, that is, he doesn't have to do dishonorable things; he's a bachelor because he's an egoist; he's not stupid at all, but it's impossible to show his intelligence these days; he especially hates Uncleanness and intoxication, considering intoxication to be spiritual uncleanness, so, in his later years, he pursued a life of pleasure, lazy comfort and orderly celibacy.Although he sometimes went to be a guest of better people, but since he was young, he refused to have guests come to the door.Lately, when he was not playing cards, he was accompanied by his clock, and all night long he dozed in his easy chair, listening to the ticking of the clock on the mantelpiece under the glass cover.His appearance was refined and well-groomed, and he looked younger than his own age.He was well maintained, expected to live a long life, and had the air of a true gentleman.His seats are very comfortable, and wherever he sits, he can issue documents there.All in all, he was considered a most proud man.He had but one desire, or rather, he had one strong desire: to have a private residence of his own, a house that was luxuriously built but not expensive.He finally got his wish: after searching, he bought a house on the outskirts of Petersburg, which was quite far from the city, but had a garden, and was also very elegant.The new owner of the house thought: It would be better if the house is farther away, because he doesn't like to receive guests at home, but he has to go to other people's homes or go to work in any office. He has a beautiful brown, two-seater, four-wheel sedan There was Mihai, the coachman, and two small but strong and beautiful ponies.All this he had bought with the small savings of forty years, and he was so excited that, after buying the property and moving, Stepan Nikiforovich felt so satisfied in his peaceful mind that he even invited Guests come for a birthday.In the past, his birthday was also kept secret to the most confidant.He also has special intentions for one of his guests.He used the upper floor of this house himself, but the first floor with the same structure and decoration needs to be rented out.

Stepan Nikiforovitch actually started to think of Semyon Ivanovich Shupreko, and even brought up the topic twice that evening, but Semyon Ivan Norwich avoided talking about it.Semyon Ivanovich was also a man who had long and hard earned his name.He has black hair, black sideburns, and a face that is always jaundiced.He has already married and established a business, has a melancholy personality, lives in seclusion, and manages the family in a submissive manner.During his tenure, he was arrogant and conceited, and he also knew how his official fortune was. To be more precise, he would never be promoted.He has a good job and is secure.Although he was not without resentment at the new system that had begun to be introduced, he was also not worried.He was very confident and listened with irony and irritation to Ivan Ilyich Pralensky's new topic of discussion.They were all so drunk, however, that Stepan Nikiforovitch put aside his airs from Mr. Pralensky and had a little argument with him about the new order.However, it is time to say something about Mr. Pralensky, not to mention that he is the protagonist of the story that is about to happen.

Ivan Ilyich Pralensky, a civil servant of the fourth class, had been honored as your lord for only four months, and in a word, he was a newcomer.He was also very young for his age, forty-three at best.From the outside, he looks young, and he loves to look young.He was a handsome man, tall, well dressed, and ostentatious in his finery, with a large medal just right around his neck.Even as a boy, he picked up some high-society manners.He was unmarried, and hoped to find a rich, preferably high-society lady.He still has many fantasies, but he is not stupid at all.When he speaks, he is often eloquent, and even loves to put on an eloquent posture.He was born in a famous family, a son of an official, spoiled and spoiled, he wore silk and satin when he was young, and was educated in aristocratic schools. Although he didn't learn much knowledge there, he achieved success in his work. , and even had high hopes for him.He began his official career under the curtain of Stepan Nikiforovich, and continued almost to his present position.Stepan Nikiforovitch never thought of him as talented, never expected anything from him, but envied him a man of good family and wealth, with a large house of considerable value, with a butler and broker.He is related to the upper class.Besides, he was handsome.Stepan Nikiforovitch scolded him for being too imaginative and frivolous.Ivan Ilyich sometimes felt too self-respecting and even shameful.Oddly enough: there was a certain almost morbid shame about him at times, and even an apparent remorse for certain things.There were times when he realized with a painful, dull ache in his heart that he was far from being as successful as he had imagined.At this time, he even became dejected, especially when his hemorrhoids attack, he said that his life uneexis Atence manguee ①, and even stopped believing (in secret, of course) that he had eloquence, and called himself BCDEFDGH②, a talker (although all this is undoubtedly The land brought him a lot of splendor and wealth).However, this will definitely not prevent him from being proud again half an hour later, and he will be more tenacious, more arrogant, and self-confident: he has still had time to show himself that he will not only be a dignitary, but also a political figure that Russia will never forget. activist.At times, he even seemed to see monuments to himself.It can be seen from this that Ivan Ilyich's greed is very high, although he secretly expresses his vague fantasies and hopes, deep and even some fear①②French: chatterer.

French: Nothing. buried.In short, he was a man of considerable talent and a born fantasist.In recent years, the pain of disappointment has come to him from time to time.For some reason, he became all the more irritable and suspicious, and took all dissent as an insult to him.However, the revival of Russia brought great hopes to him, and the realization of his hopes brought him high positions and magnates.He cheered up and swaggered.He was suddenly eloquent and eloquent, and he began to discuss some of the latest topics, which he mastered so quickly, so unexpectedly, to an astonishing degree.He wandered about the city looking for an opportunity to preach.On many occasions he was quick to come across as a true liberal, and this flattered him.Just this evening, after a few glasses of wine, he became more active and tried to convert Stepan Nikiforovitch completely.He had not seen Stepan Nikiforovitch for a long time, and even now he respected him and listened to him.For some reason he regarded Stepan Nikiforovitch as a staunch backwardness, and attacked him very violently.Stepan Nikiforovitch hardly made any reply, but only pretended to listen, obviously being interested in the subject too.Ivan Ilyich was very irritable, and frequently drank alcohol when the content of the idea was hotly debated.Then Stepan Nikiforovitch immediately poured him wine from the bottle, which somehow offended him, especially Semyon Ivano, whom he despised and feared very much. Vich Shupreko, at the moment, was slyly silent and laughing. "It seems that they take me for a three-year-old child," the thought flashed through Ivan Ilyich's mind.

"No, it's time, it's time," he went on with great emotion, "we're too late! In my opinion, humanity is first and foremost, and remember that subordinates are human beings. Humanity saves everything." , to get everything out of trouble..." "Hee-hee-hee-hee!" came a titter from Semyon Ivanovitch. "But why are you scolding us like that," retorted Stepan Nikiforovitch at last with a polite smile, "I must confess, Ivan Ilyich, that until now I have not understood what you are saying. What. When you speak of humanity, you mean benevolence, don't you?"

"Yes, that's right, it's benevolence. I..." "I'm sorry, as far as I know, the problem is not limited to this one. Benevolence must be followed. Reform is not limited to this. There are also farmers' issues, judicial issues, economic issues, bribery issues, and moral issues... And . . . many other problems. All of these problems could arise simultaneously and cause great upheaval at once. Which means we have more to worry about than benevolence . . . ” "Yes, the question is profound," said Semyon Ivanovitch. "I understand this very well. But, Semyon Ivanovitch, let me remind you that I do not at all agree that I am inferior to you in understanding things," said Ivan Ilyich sarcastically and bitterly. "But I will boldly remind you, Stepan Nikiforovitch, that you also don't know me at all..."

"I don't understand." "Actually, I just hold on to and put forward such a point of view everywhere: Humanity means treating subordinates humanely, from officials to clerks, from clerks to servants, and from servants to servants——I want to say, humanity can be said It is the cornerstone of the current reform of the entire reform. Why? Take the syllogism for example. When I talk about humanity, people will love me; when people love me, they will trust; ...Isn't it? I said that if people have trust, then they will believe in reform, for example, people will understand the nature of the problem, they will give moral support, and the whole issue will be decided amicably and seriously What are you laughing at, Semyon Ivanovitch? Don't you understand?"

Stepan Nikiforovitch silently raised his eyebrows in surprise. "I think I'm a little drunk," said Semyon Ivanovich angrily, "and that's why I don't understand, and my head is a little muddled." Ivan Ilyich shuddered. "I can't bear it!" said Stepan Nikiforovitch suddenly, after some reflection. "Why can't you bear it?" asked Ivan Ilyich.He was amazed at Stepan Nikiforovitch's sudden words. "It's unbearable," replied Stepan Nikiforovitch.It seemed that he didn't want to talk about it. "Did you speak of new wine and new bottle?

①" Ivan Ilyich replied with a bit of sarcasm, "well, let's not talk about it.I am responsible for my actions. " At this time, the clock pointed to half past eleven. "Sit and sit, it's time to go," said Semyon Ivanovich, and was about to get up, when Ivan Ilyich got up from the table before he could lift himself up from the fireplace. mink fur hat.It looked as if he had been wronged. "How about it? Semyon Ivanovitch, think it over?" said Stepan Nikiforovitch, seeing off his guests. "About the house? I think about it, think about it."

"Once you make up your mind, please let me know as soon as possible." "Business again?" said Mr. Pralensky politely and somewhat flatteringly, fiddling with his hat.He felt as if he had been forgotten. ① Speak out of the Bible.Meaning: Don't put new wine in old bottles. Stepan Nikiforovitch raised his eyebrows and remained silent, expressing that he would not retain the guest.Semyon Ivanovich left hastily. "Ah... come on... from now on, please... You don't know how to be polite," Mr. Pralensky made up his mind to himself, but for some reason he offered to Stepan Ny Kiforovich held out a hand. In the hall, Ivan Ilyich put on his expensive soft fur coat, and tried not to look at Semyon Ivanovitch's worn raccoon coat.The two came down the stairs. "Our old man seems to be angry," said Ivan Ilyich to the silent Semyon Ivanovitch. "No, how could it be?" Semyon Ivanovitch answered calmly and coldly. "Slave!" thought Ivan Ilyich to himself. They came to the steps.Semyon Ivanovitch's sleigh was brought to him, drawn by an ugly gray stallion. "Damn it! Where did Trifon get my carriage!" cried Ivan Ilyich, not seeing his carriage. There are no carriages here or there.Nor did Stepan Nikiforovitch's servants know.I asked Semyon Ivanovitch's coachman, and he replied: Trifon has been here, and the carriage has been here, but now they are gone. "What a strange thing!" said Mr. Shupreko. "I will see you if you like?" "Damn thing!" exclaimed Mr. Pralensky frantically, "you liar, asking me to go to a wedding here on the outskirts of Petersburg, to marry some kind of lover, damn it! I Didn't give him permission to go at all. I bet he went there." "He did," said Varlam, "has gone up there, and promised to be back in a little while, just in time." "That's true! I seem to have expected it! I'm going to teach him a lesson!" "You'd better give him a good whip or two, and he'll be submissive," said Semyon Ivanovitch, covering the car with the blanket. "Don't worry, Semyon Ivanovich!" "Since I don't need it, I'll go." "Bon voyage, Merci" Semyon Ivanovich was gone.Ivan Ilyich walked along the boardwalk feeling very angry. "I can't see you now, I will find you, you liar! I walked on purpose to let you know and scare you! You will know when you go back that your master went on foot... villain!" Ivan Ilyich had never cursed like this before, but this time he was furious and dizzy.He is a teetotaler, so after five or six drinks, the strength of the drink will come up.Yet the night is so intoxicating.It was cold, but eerily quiet, without a breath of wind.The sky was clear and full of stars, and a round of bright moon filled the earth with a faint silvery white light.The night was so beautiful that Ivan Ilyich almost forgot what had happened to him after walking fifty paces.For some reason, he slowly became extra cheerful.Moreover, it is easy to change impressions when people are slightly drunk.He even developed a fondness for the ugly wooden houses in the deserted streets. "You know, I'm very comfortable on foot," he thought to himself, "and I'll have to show Trifon a little to relieve my boredom. Seriously, I should walk more often. French: Thank you. Just do it!What is there?I can find a cab right away in the high street.How charming the night is!The cabins here are also so beautiful!Maybe there lived little people there, officials... merchants, maybe... and that Stepan Nikiforovich!They're all bigots, old fools! c'estlemot, just some fools.Still, he was a wise man, with bonsens, a cool, concrete view of things, but old, old!Don't talk about this, what is there to say! ...what can I say... I can't stand it!What is he trying to say?He was even thinking as he spoke.However, he didn't understand what I said at all. How could he not understand?It is harder not to understand than to understand.The important thing is that I believe, I believe from the bottom of my heart.Humane...benevolent.Returning the person to himself...to regenerate his original personality, and then...let's start with the existing materials.It seems very clear!right!Allow me to take the syllogism as an example: for example, when we meet an official, a poor, suffering official, and ask: 'Hey... who are you? 'Answer: 'official'.What an official; then ask; 'What kind of official are you? 'Answer: A certain official, according to him, it is a certain official. 'Are you still working? '—'Still working! '—'You want to be the lucky one? ''think'. ——'What should I do? 'That's the problem, that's the problem. 'why? 'Because... this man understood me in a sentence or two: he became mine, he fell into the trap, so to speak, and therefore everything I did for him, even for his Interests, but they are all done according to my ideas.This Semyon Ivanovich is a dirty fellow!What an ugly face he has...'You whip him', he said on purpose.No, you're lying, go smoke yourself, I won't smoke; I'll make him sad with words, and beat him with words French: healthy mind. French: Well said. Suffering, so that he will wake up.About corporal punishment, hmph...the problem has not been resolved yet, hmph...won't you go to Emelans' house?Phew, what the hell, the goddamn boardwalk! He suddenly stumbled and shouted. "What kind of capital is this!"What a civilized place!Broke my legs.Well, I hate that Semyon Ivanovitch; what a hideous countenance.He even laughed at me just now when I said that people will support each other spiritually.People support each other, what does that matter to you?You I won't support; I will soon support the farmer... If I meet a farmer, I'll go and talk to him.Still, I'm drunk, maybe I shouldn't be cursing, maybe I shouldn't be cursing like this now... well, I don't drink anymore.You babble tonight and you'll regret it tomorrow.Fortunately, I haven't staggered when I walk... Actually, they are all liars! " Ivan Ilyich was thinking intermittently as he walked along the pavement.The fresh air rushed towards him, which can be said to have lifted his spirits.After four or five minutes he calmed down and fell asleep.But suddenly, two steps away from the street, he heard music.Looking up, on the other side of the street, a feast was being held in a very old but large wooden bungalow.The violins burst forth, the double bass creaked, and the flute shrieked, and they played a cheerful cadre.A group of people stood under the window, mostly women in cotton clothes and headscarves, desperately trying to see through the window.It seems that it is very lively inside.The noise of dancing and stomping carried over to this side of the street.Ivan Ilyich saw a policeman not far away and went towards him. "Whose house is this, brother?" he asked, opening his precious fur coat a little, just in time for the policeman to see the large medal around his neck. "It belongs to Sergeant Pseldonimov, the recorder," replied the policeman, straightening up as soon as he saw the medal. "Pseldonimov's? Oh, Pseldonimov's! . . . What? He's married?" "It was a marriage, my lord, to the daughter of a civil servant of the ninth class, the daughter of a civil servant of the ninth class Mrekopitayev . "Then the house now belongs to Pseldonimov and not to Mlekopitayev?" "Pseldonimov's, your excellency. Once it was Mrekopitayev's, and now it's Pseldonimov's." "Well, brother, I'm asking you because I'm his boss, the highest officer of the unit he works for." "So it is, my excellency," said the policeman, who stood upright, while Ivan Ilyich seemed lost in thought.He stood there daydreaming... Yes, Pseldonimov was really under his authority, in his very office; he remembered that it was a lowly official with a salary of ten rubles a month.Since Mr. Pralensky had just taken over, it was impossible to remember the details of all his subordinates, but he remembered Pseldonimov precisely because of his surname.It was the first time he had seen this surname, so he looked curiously at the owner of this surname.He remembered now, too, that the man was very young, with a long hooked nose and strands of light-colored hair, malnourished and underdeveloped, wearing a very poor civil service uniform and unseemly trousers.He remembered that a thought had crossed his mind at the time: Shall we give ten rubles to help the poor man on the holidays?But since the poor wretch was always frowning, and his eyes were extremely repulsive, even repulsive, the good thought disappeared by itself, and Pseldonimov was not able to benefit from it.It was the same Pseldonimov who surprised him even more by applying for marriage less than a week ago.Ivan Ilyich remembered that for some reason he had not had time to look into the matter, and that the marriage had been approved hastily and incidentally.But he still remembered with certainty that Pseldonimov was to receive a wooden house and a dowry of four hundred rubles; Husband and Mrekopitayev have the same surname ①.All this he recalled vividly. As soon as he remembered it, he thought about it more deeply.We know that complete thought sometimes takes place instantaneously in our minds, manifested in certain sensations, without being translated into words, especially not into words, but we will try to bring all these sensations of our hero, if only these To introduce the essence of feeling to the reader is to introduce the most necessary and truest thing in it.Be aware that many of our feelings, when translated into ordinary language, would seem quite unreal.That's why feelings never show, but everyone has them.Of course, there was not much connection between Ivan Ilyich's feelings and thoughts.However, you know the reason. "What will happen then!" A thought flashed into his mind. "We all talk and talk, and when we get into reality, we don't know what to do. Let's take this Pseldonimov as an example. He Just after the wedding, excited and hopeful, waiting to entertain guests... These are the happiest days of his life... Now he is busy with receptions and feasts - he is serious, simple, but cheerful, joyful, sincere ...If he knows that I, my boss, the big boss, is standing at the door of his house and listening to his wedding music at this very moment, so what! Actually ① IJFKCGLMHGN is a fake surname. OEFPGBMQCFNC comes from the noun OEFPGBMQCRSFF (Mammals). Ivan Ilyich jokes that they are a combination of man and animal. What will happen to him?No, what would happen to him if I walked in suddenly now?Hmph...Needless to say, he would be startled at first, and he would be too flustered to speak.I'm going to bother him, maybe everything about him... yes.If it was other officers who went in instead of me, then the situation would be like this... The problem is here, it is true for anyone, not just me..." Yes, Stepan Nikiforovitch!You just didn't understand me just now, isn't this just a ready-made example for you. Yes, sir, we are always shouting humanity, but we cannot perform heroic deeds and meritorious deeds. What kind of heroic act?That's it.Please judge: in the current state of relations among all members of society, if I, I go to the wedding of my subordinate, the fourteenth class civil servant with a salary of ten rubles a month, in the middle of the night, there will be panic and confusion. , the end of Pompeii ①, horror!No one can understand this.Stepan Nikiforovitch would not understand it when he died, because he said: I can't bear it.Yes, but you are a group of old people, old stubborn, and I will follow-follow-!I will surely make the last days of Pompeii the sweetest days of my subordinates, and make brutish deeds sane, simple, noble, virtuous.How about it?That's right.Then please listen carefully... Well...if I go in right now—they'll be surprised, they'll stop dancing, they'll look in wonder, and they'll step back.It will be like this.However, only on this occasion can I show myself: I have the kindest smile ① Pompeii was an ancient city in the Roman Empire, which was destroyed by a volcanic eruption in 1779. "The Last Days of Pompeii" is the title of a famous painting by Russian painter K. B．Created by Bryulov (1799-1852) after visiting the ruins of the ancient city, it describes the tragedy of Pompeii when the volcano erupted.Dostoevsky uses it here in an escaped sense. Walked straight up to Pseldonimov, who was still in shock, and said in the simplest terms: "I'm at Monsieur Stepan Nikiforovich. You know, I'm going to be around here..." Hey , At this time, by the way, I will talk about the accident caused by Trifon in such a ridiculous way, from Trifon's talk about how to walk...'He - there is music, and I asked the police curiously, and learned that my brother, you are holding wedding.I thought, I'll just go to the subordinates and see how they have fun and... how they hold weddings.I think, you won't drive me away! 'Get away!How dare a subordinate member say such a thing!Who dares to catch up!I thought he'd come running like crazy to put me in the easy chair, shaking with joy, without even realizing it at first! ..." Ah, what could be easier and more beautiful than this!Why should I go in?That's another question!It is the so-called spiritual problem, good intentions! Hmm...what the hell am I thinking?Oh, I remembered! Hey, they're sure to sit me down with another distinguished guest, some ninth-class civil servant here or that relative—a retired captain with a rosacea... like those eccentrics in Gogol's books.Hey, it goes without saying that I'll get to know the bride, compliment the bride, encourage the guests, ask them to let loose, have fun, and keep dancing.I joked and laughed.All in all—I looked amiable and lovely.When I get what I want, I'm always amiable... well... that's the problem, I still seem to be a little... that is, I'm not drunk, but... ...Of course, as a person of status, I treat them as equals, and I never ask for anything special... But in terms of virtue, it is another matter, they will understand, they will understand... My actions will bring them back to the sublime spirit of everything... Well, I'll sit on it for half an hour... maybe even an hour.Of course, I'll leave before dinner.They were busy baking and frying.They tried their best to keep me, but I only drank a drink to show my blessing, and I would definitely decline the dinner party, and I would say: I am on business.As soon as I say "official business", they will immediately be in awe.It made me notice the difference between me and them: the difference between heaven and earth. I don't mean to pay attention to this, but it should be ... even morally necessary, whatever you say.But I'm going to have to smile right away, even for a while, and then presumably everyone's in good spirits... I'll be joking with the bride again; well... even hinting to her that in exactly nine months I'll be back as godfather ,whee!She will have a baby by then.You know, she'll give birth like a rabbit.Hi, everyone laughed, the bride flushed; I kissed her forehead affectionately and blessed her... and the next day, word of my feat would be heard among my colleagues.The next day, I became severe again; the next day, I blamed and even became stern, but they all knew me, my character, and my nature: "As a ruler, he He is a strict teacher, but as an ordinary person, he is a kind-hearted person!" In this way, I won; I won them over with a little trick, which you can't think of; they have already belonged to I; I am the father, they are the sons... Come, Mr. Stepan Nikiforovitch, try to do this too... Do you know, do you understand?Pseldonimov would tell his children that a magistrate had been present at his wedding and even raised a glass to congratulate him.You know, the kids will tell their kids, and the kids will tell their grandkids, like a fairy tale, about a dignitary, a political activist (and I'll have all of those by then) making them look good Light... wait, wait, wait.You know, I will morally elevate the servile man to my command... Then he will get ten rubles a month! ... You know, if I do the same thing five times, or ten times, then I will be famous... I will be remembered in everyone's minds, and if I lose my reputation, God knows what will happen! ... That's how Ivan Ilyich reasoned, or something like that (never mind, folks, he talks to himself sometimes, especially when he's a little weird).All these inferences flashed through his mind, and he might, of course, content himself with these fantasies, humiliate Stepan Nikiforovitch in his heart, and go home to sleep peacefully.What a job he did!But the whole misfortune is this: these moments are extraordinary. Suddenly, as if on purpose, the triumphant faces of Stepan Nikiforovitch and Semyon Ivanovitch appeared in his calm imagination. "I can't bear it!" said Stepan Nikiforovitch again, laughing haughtily. "Hee-hee-hee!" echoed Semyon Ivanovich with the most hideous laugh. "Let's see, then, and see how we can't bear it!" said Ivan Ilyich decisively, blushing at once.He left the sidewalk, crossed the street, and walked with firm steps to the house of Pseldonimov, his subordinate recorder. Mission drives Ivan Ilyich.He strode briskly through the open fence door, and kicked away the hoarse, long-haired dog with a contemptuous kick (the dog, barking hoarsely, threw itself at his feet, not so much out of instinct, but out of courtesy).He followed the boardwalk to covered steps that led through a small room to the yard.He went into the small hall along the three old wooden steps.In one corner of the room, although a candle or something like an oil lamp was burning, it did not prevent Ivan Ilyich's left foot, wearing a galosh, from stepping completely into the fish jelly which was cooling outside.Ivan Ilyich stooped to look curiously, and saw there were also two plates of frozen vegetables and two things that must have been dulce de leche.He was embarrassed by stepping on the fish jelly, and he immediately had a thought: Shall I sneak away quickly? But he thought it was disgraceful.Guessing that no one had seen him, and in any case would not suspect him, he wiped his shoes so that no trace remained.He groped for a felt-covered door, opened it, and found himself in the small outer room, half of which was heaped with greatcoats, blouses, blouses, hoods, shawls, and overshoes, and the other half with The musicians were occupied: two violinists, a flute player, and a double bass player, four in all, hired, of course, from outside.They were sitting at a small unpainted wooden table, blasting the last verse of the quadrille at the top of their lungs by candlelight.从大厅未关上的门里可以看见在浮尘、烟雾、油烟中的跳舞者。他们一个个像疯了似的在狂欢。可以听见一阵阵的笑声、喊声以及女人的尖叫声。男舞伴们像马队一样嗒嗒嗒地跺脚。在狂乱的人们的头顶上响着舞会指挥者的口令：“男舞伴，向前，女舞伴跟上，保持距离！”等等，等等。指挥者大概过于放肆把衣扣都解开来了。伊万·伊里奇有些激动，脱掉了皮衣和套鞋，帽子拎在手上走进大厅里。不过，他已经不再推理了…… 起初，谁也没有注意到他，大家正在把即将结束的一场舞跳完。伊万·伊里奇茫然若失地立着，在一片混乱中什么也无法看仔细。女人的连衣裙、叼着烟卷的男舞伴们时隐时现……某女士的浅蓝色披肩一闪而过，碰到了他的鼻子。接着，一个披散着卷发的医科学生狂喜得飞奔而来，重重地推了他一下。一个长得像电线杆似的某部军官也在他眼前晃过。 有一个人和其他人一道踏着拍子飞跑着，发出怪异的尖叫声：“哎—哎—哎嗨，普谢尔多尼穆什卡！ ①”伊万·伊里奇的脚下有什么粘糊糊的东西，想必是地板打了蜡。这屋子其实不算太小，容纳了三十来位客人。 但是，不多一会，卡德里尔舞结束了，差不多马上就发生了伊万·伊里奇在木板人行道上行走时所想象的那样的事情。客人和跳舞的人还没来得及喘口气，拭去脸上的汗水，他们中就响起了嘈杂声和惊异的低语声，所有的眼睛和脸庞都迅速转向进来的那位客人，接着所有的人便立即慢慢往后退。 有的人去扯未有觉察的人的衣服，想让他们醒悟过来，他们回过头看后便立即和别的人一道走开了。伊万·伊里奇依旧站在门边，没有往前挪动半步。他和客人之间的空间却越来越大，那里地板上布满了不计其数的糖纸、纸片和烟头。忽然有个年轻人畏畏缩缩地走到那里。他身着文官制服，淡褐色卷发，鹰钩鼻。这年轻人弯着腰向前移动身子。他望着那位不速之客，其神态极像一条被主人叫去准备接受鞭打的狗。 “你好，普谢尔多尼莫夫，认得我吗？……”伊万·伊里奇说过之后，猛然感到话说得太笨拙了，同时也感到，他这时也许正在做最愚蠢的事。 “大——人！……”普谢尔多尼莫夫喃喃地说。 “哎，正是的。老弟，我上你这儿来纯粹是十分偶然的，大概你自己也能想象得到……” 可是很显然，普谢尔多尼莫夫什么也想象不出来。他瞪①新娘普谢尔多尼莫娃的昵称。 大两眼站着，困惑莫解。 “我想，你该不会赶我走吧……乐意不乐意都会接待来客吧！……”伊万·伊里奇继续说。他感到难为情觉得大失体面，想笑，但又笑不出来；他想说说关于斯捷潘·尼基福罗维奇及特里丰的幽默故事，却越来越说不出来了。但是，普谢尔多尼莫夫仿佛故意似的，依旧呆若木鸡，老是傻呼呼地瞧着。伊万·伊里奇哆嗦一下，感到再过这么一分钟，一场不可思议的混乱就会发生。 “我是不是有什么地方打搅了……我这就走！”他用勉强听得见的声音说，嘴唇右角的一条细肌腱已经搐动起来。 不过，普谢尔多尼莫夫已经清醒过来了…… “大人，请宽恕……大人……”他喃喃地说并急忙鞠躬，“很荣幸……您请坐，大人……”他更清醒后用两手指着一张沙发对他说。为了跳舞把沙发前的桌子移开了…… 伊万·伊里奇静下心来坐到沙发上，马上有人急忙搬过来一张桌子。他环视一眼，发现只有他一个人坐着，其他的人，甚至女士们都是站着的。这可不是好的征兆。但还不是提醒和鼓舞别人的时候。客人们仍在后退，只有普谢尔多尼莫夫一个人依然躬着腰站在他面前。他仍然什么也不明白，依然毫无笑意。糟透了，简单地说吧：我们的主人公瞬息间经受了如此多的苦恼，他到下属的加伦·阿利·拉希杰①之行真可算得上是一次伟大的创举。但是，忽然间有个身影出现在普谢尔多尼莫夫身旁并行起鞠躬礼来。伊万·伊里奇心里①引自阿拉伯童话故事。说的是国王加伦·阿利·拉希杰微服私访庶民百姓。 真有说不出的兴奋和幸运感。他马上认出来，这是本办公室的一个科长，叫阿基姆·彼得罗维奇·祖比科夫。他和他并不熟悉，但知道他是一个能干而言语不多的官员。他马上站起来向他伸出手去，是一只手，不是两个指头。阿基姆·彼得罗维奇怀着深切的敬意用双手握住他的那只手。长官十二分得意，顿时得到了解围。 的确，眼下的这个普谢尔多尼莫夫可说已经不是第二人称，而是第三人称了。伊万·伊里奇正好把故事直接讲给那个科长听了，在这需要的时候他把他看作熟人，甚至看作亲密的朋友，而这时候普谢尔多尼莫夫只能忍气吞声，仰慕得心里突突地跳。伊万·伊里奇从而保住了体面。那个故事该说了，他也感觉到了，他看到所有的宾客都在期待着，连家里的人都拥挤在两边的门上，为了看看他，听听他讲故事，几乎压在别人的身上。糟糕的是，科长笨得仍旧坐不下去。 “您真是！”伊万·伊里奇难为情地指着身旁的沙发对他说。 “请原谅，大人……我就呆在这儿好……”阿基姆·彼得罗维奇连忙坐在普谢尔多尼莫夫匆匆递过来的椅子上。普谢尔多尼莫夫自己依然站立着。 “您能想象这种事情吗？”伊万·伊里奇特意对着阿基姆·彼得罗维奇说。他声音有些战栗，已经失去控制，把每字拖长，断开，音节读得很重，字母ａ读得近似于T。总之，意识到自己在装腔作势，但身不由己，为一种外在的力量所左右着。此时，他感到十分可怕，十分痛苦。 “您要知道，我刚从斯捷潘·尼基福罗维奇·尼基福罗夫家出来，您大概听说过这位三等文官吧。喏……是那个委员会的…” 阿基姆·彼得罗维奇恭恭敬敬地向前弯着身子回答：“听说过的，怎么会没听说呢，大人！” “他现在是你的邻居了，”为了表现礼貌和潇洒，伊万·伊里奇转而对普谢尔多尼莫夫说话。当他看见对方的眼色，知道他对此没有兴趣时，便马上转过头来。 “您要知道，老头子一生热衷于给自己买所房子……嗬，买到了，一座漂亮的。对……他今天就在新居过生日。要知道，他过去从不过生日的，甚至还对我们保密哩，他很吝啬舍不得花钱请客，嘻——嘻！现在高兴有了新居，所以请了我和谢苗·伊万诺维奇去。您认识吧，还有舒普列科。” 阿基姆·彼得罗维奇又弯了一下腰，深深地鞠了一躬！伊万·伊里奇有些开心了。他想起来，科长大概猜到了这时候他是大人的一根顶梁柱。这可是糟糕不过的坏事。 “喏，我们三人坐在那里，他请我们喝香槟酒，我们闲聊着……谈天说地……谈论一些——问题……甚至争——论起来……嘿——嘿！” 阿基姆·彼得罗维奇恭恭敬敬地扬起眉毛。 “不过问题不在这儿。后来，我同他告别。您知道，他这老头是很注意时间的，他到了晚年睡得很早。我走出门来…… 不见了我的车夫特里丰！我很着急，一再打听：'特里丰把我的马车弄到哪儿去了？'原来，他以为我会坐很久，便上什么相好或是什么姐妹那里参加婚礼去了……只有天晓得！反正是在彼得堡郊外这里的一个什么地方。所以就便把马车也带去了。”出于礼节长官又望了望普谢尔多尼莫夫。普谢尔多尼莫夫连忙弯着身子，但一点也不像给长官行礼。“没有一点同情心，”这个念头在伊万·伊里奇脑海中闪过。 “您请说吧！”深为吃惊的阿基姆·彼得罗维奇说。人群中响起一阵惊讶的小喧哗。 “您想得到我当时的处境吧……（伊万·伊里奇望了一眼大家）无可奈何，我只得步行了。我想，我到了大街上就可以找到出租马车的……嘿——嘿！” “嘻——嘻——嘻！”阿基姆·彼得罗维奇恭敬地回答。人群中又起喧哗，但却是欢快的。这时，壁灯玻璃罩啪地一声爆裂，有人赶快跑上去把它清理了。普谢尔多尼莫夫身子猝然一抖，紧张地看了一眼壁灯，不过，长官毫不在意，一切又复归平静。 “我走着……夜色是那样美丽、静谧。我忽然听到音乐声、跺脚声。有人在跳舞。我好奇地去问一个警察，他说是普谢尔多尼莫夫举行婚礼。老弟，是你在举办整个彼得堡郊外的舞会吧？哈——哈！”他忽而又对普谢尔多尼莫夫说。 “嘻——嘻——嘻！是的，大人……”阿基姆·彼得罗维奇答道。客人们又骚动起来，但最愚蠢不过的是普谢尔多尼莫夫，他虽然又在行礼，可是，直到现在还一笑也不笑，活像个木头人。“难道他是个傻瓜不成！”伊万·伊里奇心里想道。“笨蛋也是会笑的嘛，那不就万事顺利了吗。”他心急如焚。“我心想，让我走进下属家里看看吧，他是不会赶我走的……不管高兴不高兴，他都会欢迎客人的。老弟，请你原谅。 如果我对你有所打扰的话，那我就走……我只是顺道来瞧瞧的……” 但是，整个人群又慢慢地开始骚动起来了。阿基姆·彼得罗维奇讨好地瞧着，好像说：“大人，您怎么会打扰我们呢？” 客人们都活跃起来，表现出一些无拘无束的初步迹象。女士们几乎都坐了下来，这是值得赞许的吉兆，其中一些胆大的用小手帕给自己扇风。有个穿破旧的天鹅绒连衣裙的女人故意对一个军官大声说话，军官本想大声回敬她，但由于只有他俩才这么大声嚷叫，所以他忍住了。男士中大多是公务员，只有两三个大学生，他们互相交换眼色，仿佛互相鼓动不要拘束。他们清着嗓子三步两步地向四面散开。不过，没有人特别胆怯了，可是大家都面色难看，差不多都暗自以敌对的目光望着那位破坏他们寻欢的不速之客。那个军官羞于自己的胆子小，慢慢地往桌子那边走去。 “喂，老弟，请问你的名字和父称？”伊万·伊里奇向普谢尔多尼莫夫问。 “波尔菲里·彼得罗夫，大人，”他瞪着两眼像接受检阅似的回答。 “波尔菲里·彼得罗夫，请介绍我认识你的新婚妻子…… 带我去吧……我……” 伊万·伊里奇原想欠起身来，但普谢尔多尼莫夫飞也似地跑进客厅去了。其实，新娘就站在客厅门口，但是，一所到谈论她就躲开了。过了一会，普谢尔多尼莫夫挽着她的手出来了，人们纷纷给他俩让路。伊万·伊里奇洋洋得意地欠起身子，向新娘报以最亲切的微笑。 “非常非常高兴认识你，”他说着致以地道的上流社会的微微鞠躬，“尤其是在这样的日子里……” 他十分狡猾地笑了笑。女士们兴奋得激动起来。 “UCDHF①，”穿天鹅绒连衣裙的女人几乎嚷着说。 新娘配得上普谢尔多尼莫夫。她是个瘦削的少女，不过十六七岁，苍白的小脸，尖尖的小鼻子，一双灵活、的溜的溜的小眼睛全无羞涩味，相反，还带着毒辣辣的神色凝视着。 显然是因为她漂亮普谢尔多尼莫夫才娶了她。她穿着白色细纱连衣裙，粉红色外套，细长的脖子，娇嫩的身段，骨骼突出。对于长官的亲切问候她什么话也说不出来。 “你太太真美，”他继续小声说，似乎是只对普谢尔多尼莫夫一个人说的，但也故意让新娘听见。但是，普谢尔多尼莫夫什么也没有回答，甚至这一次连身子也没晃动。伊万·伊里奇甚至感到，在他的眼睛里深藏着冷漠和神秘，甚至在心底里蕴藏着特殊的恶意。但是，无论如何也要使她动情才行。要知道，他是为她而来的啊。 “然而，这真是很般配的一对！”他想了想，“不过……” 他又转而与坐在他身旁沙发里的新娘说话，但是，他提出的两三个问题，得到的回答都是“是”和“不是”，而别的确实什么也没有。 “只要她感到难为情。”他继续暗自想，“那我就可以同她开玩笑。要知道，我的处境是进退两难的。”阿基姆·彼得罗维奇像故意似的也默默不语，虽然是因为愚蠢，但仍然不能给予宽恕。“诸位先生！我没有使你们扫兴吧？”伊万·伊里①法语：她太迷人了。 奇对着大家说。他感到他的手掌在冒汗。 “没有……请放心，大人，我们马上就开始，现在……让我们凉快凉快一下，”那个军官回答。新娘赞赏地看了他一眼：军官年岁不大，穿着军装。普谢尔多尼莫夫站在原地，身子朝前探，鹰钩鼻子似乎比以前伸得更出来了。他听着，望着，就像手拿大衣站在那里等待主人话别结束的仆役。这个比喻是伊万·伊里奇亲自作出的；他局促不安，感觉难堪，十分难堪，脚下的地板在滑走，他似乎走到了什么地方，但却走不出来。好像他置身茫茫黑夜之中。 人们忽然让开了一条路，走来一个身材不高但很结实的妇女。她已经有了一把年纪，衣着朴素，虽然经过一番打扮。 她肩上披着大披肩，用别针别在颈下喉头旁，头上戴着包发帽。显然她还不大习惯。她两手捧着一个圆形小托盘，上面放有一瓶满满的但已经打开的香槟酒，以及不多不少两个酒杯。显然，那瓶酒是专门给两位客人准备的。 那中年妇女径直走到长官跟前。 “大人，请别见怪，”她一边鞠躬一边说，“您看得起我们，光临我小儿的婚礼，我们无限欢迎，请饮了这杯祝贺新人，请勿嫌弃，请赏光。” 伊万·伊里奇像抓住救命稻草似地抓住她。她年纪不算老，最多不过四十五、六岁。她有一张俄罗斯人圆圆的脸庞：那样善良、红润，那样开朗、浑圆；她笑得那样温和，鞠躬得那样朴实，使得伊万·伊里奇几乎已经心满意足，并且开始燃起希望来了。 “这么说来，您——是——母——亲了？”他从沙发上欠起身子说道。 “是我母亲，大人，”普谢尔多尼莫夫无精打采地说，伸着长长的脖子，又翘起他的鼻子。 “啊！十分高兴，十——分高兴认识您。” “那就请别嫌弃哟，大人。” “非常高兴。” 托盘放下后，普谢尔多尼莫夫急忙跑上去斟酒。伊万·伊里奇端起酒杯后依旧站着。 “我特别特别高兴有这个机会能够……”他开始说起来，“能够借此机会表示……一句话，作为上司我……祝愿您——夫人（他转而对着新娘）和你——我的朋友波尔菲里，——婚姻美满，万事如意，永远幸福。” 他热情洋溢地一饮而尽。这是他今晚喝的第七杯。普谢尔多尼莫夫神情严肃而阴沉地看着。上司开始对他十分憎恨。 “他这傻大个（他瞟了一眼军官）老是讨厌地呆在这里。 荷，瞧他还大喊：乌拉！他真该滚开，滚开……。 " “而您，阿基姆·彼得罗维奇也喝一杯表示祝贺吧，”老太婆对那位科长补充说，“您是科长，他是您的下属，看在母亲的情面上请多关照我儿子！往后可别忘了我们，亲爱的阿基姆·彼得罗维奇，你是个好人。” “啊，俄罗斯的老太婆有多可爱！”伊万·伊里奇心里在想，“她使我们大家顿添生气。我总是喜欢这些人……” 这时，桌上又端来了一个托盘，是一个上穿没有洗过、窸窣作响的印花布衣，下穿钟式裙的女郎送来的。盘子很大，她的两只手快要端不住了。盘子里放着许多小碟，里面盛着苹果、糖果、水果软糕、水果软糖、核桃及其他等等。托盘原本放在客厅里招待所有客人的，主要是女宾，但现在端给了长官一个人。 “大人，这些美味食品请您别嫌弃，您吃得越多，我们就越高兴，”老太婆一边鞠躬一边翻来复去地说道。 “哪会呢……”伊万·伊里奇说着高兴地拿起一个核桃，用几个指头把它挤开了，他决心彻底平民化。 这时，新娘突然哧哧地笑了起来。 “笑什么呢？”伊万·伊里奇面带微笑地问，很高兴这颇有生气的征象。 “大人，是伊万·科斯年基内奇引我发笑的，”她低着头回答。 长官真的发现沙发那一端的椅子上有一个未曾露面的青年。他浅色头发，长相很不错，正在和普谢尔多尼莫夫太太悄悄地说着什么。那个青年站起身来。看来，他很腼腆，很年轻。 “我在和他们说《圆梦书》，大人，”青年声音又低又含糊地说，仿佛在道歉。 “是什么样的圆梦书？”伊万·伊里奇态度宽容地问。 “是一本新的，文艺性的书，大人！我对他们说，如果梦见了帕纳耶夫先生，那就是说，咖啡溅脏了胸衣。” ①“太天真了，”伊万·伊里奇心里愤愤地想。那个青年说①胸衣是就餐时系在胸前保护衣服的东西，白色，如果弄脏了，被认为是很失体面的。这里说梦见帕纳耶夫先生犹如弄脏胸衣一样很倒霉。 话时虽然已满脸通红，但由于说了帕纳耶夫先生的故事，因而高兴不已。 “是的，是的，我听说过……”长官答道。 “不，还有更有趣的呢，”伊万·伊里奇身边的另一个声音说道，“据说正在出版一本新词典①，克拉耶夫斯基②先生将参加撰写，还有阿尔费拉基③……还有暴露文学……” 这是一个青年说的，但他已不再羞怯，而是毫不拘束了。 他戴着手套，穿白色西服背心，两手捧着一顶礼帽。他不跳舞，却傲慢地在观看，因为他是讽刺杂志《炭火块》的一个编辑人员，他是偶然受普谢尔多尼莫夫之邀作为贵宾参加这婚礼的。他们以“你”相称，早在去年他们就曾在“贫民窟”的一个德国女人那里一同经受过穷困。可是，他喝伏特加，为此不止一次地到后面一个僻静的房间去，上那里去的路大家都认识。长官很不喜欢他这个人。 “这是滑稽可笑的，”那个说了胸衣故事的浅色头发的青年突然高兴地打断他的话说，“大人，这滑稽可笑是因为按杜撰者的说法，仿佛克拉耶夫斯基先生不懂得拼写法，把'暴露文学'写成了表露文学……” 这可怜的青年好不容易才把话说完。他从眼神知道长官对这早已了解，因为长官自己也仿佛很难为情，显然是他已经知道了。这个青年羞愧得无地自容，恨不得赶快溜走，以致他后来一直闷闷不乐。相反，无拘无束的《炭火块》编辑①②③阿尔费拉基是商人。 A． A．克拉耶夫斯基是一出版商，由他负责新词典编辑部并参加编写。此事激起新闻界的愤慨。 指一八六一年出版的百科词典。 则靠得更近，好像想坐到长官身边去。这种放肆的态度使伊万·伊里奇觉得有了几分体面。