Chapter 15 June 4, 1928 (1) (3)

June 4, 1928 (1) (3) "I know how you do it," I said, "the way you make little Quentin. And when she's a big girl—" that's when I thought she was going to hit me , but then I couldn't figure out what she was going to do.For a moment she seemed like a toy that was overwound and threatened to crumble to pieces. "Oh, I'm so crazy," she said, "I'm crazy. I can't take her. You guys raise her, where did I go. Jason," he said, holding my arm tightly , her hands were extremely hot, as if she had a high fever. "You have to promise me to take good care of her, to--she is your kin; she is related to you by blood. Promise me, Jason, that your name is the same as your father's. If it is in front of him, I will Do you still need to ask for it a second time? Huh, not even once!"

"That's right," I said, "I do have something of my father in me. What do you want me to do?" I said, "Buy me an apron and a baby walker? I didn't cause all your troubles, "I say. "I'm taking a bigger risk than you, because you have nothing to lose anyway. So if you're counting on—" "By the way," she said, laughing out loud, trying not to laugh at the same time. "Well, I don't have anything to lose anyway," she said, covering her mouth with her hands while making that strange chuffing sound. "What-what-nothing," she said.

"Okay," I said, "stop laughing!" "I don't want to laugh," she said, covering her mouth with her hands. "Oh God, oh God." "I've got to go," I said, "I can't be seen here. You're leaving this town now, don't you hear me?" "Wait a minute," he said, choking my arm. "I've stopped. I won't laugh anymore. So you promised me, Jason?" he said.I felt her eyes staring at me as if they could touch my face, "You promised? Mother—the money—if Quentin needs anything when—if I pay her by check It will be remitted to you, which is money other than fixed living expenses, will you give it to her? You won’t tell others, will you? You will let her get all kinds of necessary daily necessities like other girls?”

"Of course you will," I said, "if you will do what I tell you to do." At this moment Al put on his hat and came up to the front of the shop, saying; "I'll go over to Rogers's and grab a bite. I don't think we'll have time to go home for lunch." "What do you mean we don't have time?" I said. "The troupe's in town and it's a blast," she said. "They're doing a matinee to-day, and everybody wants to get their business done so we can catch the show. So we're going to Rogers' Just eat whatever you want."

"Okay," I said. "That's your belly anyway. I'm fine with you willing to suffer for your business." "I reckon you'd never take the trouble of being in business," he said. "Unless it's a Jason Compson deal," I said. ① Return to "Current". So when I went back to the back of the store to open the letter, the only thing that surprised me was that it contained a money order, not a check.Yes, sir, no woman can be trusted.How much I risked for her, risked my mother finding out she came back once or twice a year, and I had to lie to my mother, it was also a risk.But this is the answer to you.In my opinion, she is afraid to go to the post office and inform the post office that no one but Quentin is entitled to receive the remittance.She actually gave such a small girl fifty yuan all at once.You must know that before I turned twenty-one, let alone fifty yuan, I had never even seen it.The other kids were fine every afternoon and could play all day Saturday, but I had to do odd jobs in a store.Didn’t I say, how can you expect others to control her like she gave money to her daughter behind our backs? I said a long time ago that she, like you, comes from the same family and received the same upbringing , I thought, what little Quentin needs, mother must know better than you, you don't even have a home of your own. "If you want to give her money," I said, "you send it to your mother, don't give it to her directly. Since you let me take a risk every few months, then you have to do what I say, otherwise this Things just blow."

Just as I was about to do that--if Al thought he'd say something like that and I'd be off to the streets to gorge on a quarter-and-a-half cents of unappetizing fast food, he'd been terribly mistaken.I may not be a big boss sitting in front of a mahogany desk with my feet up on the table, but people pay me to work in this shop, if I want to be more civilized after work My life will be interfered with, so I have to find another adoptive father who can lead this kind of life.I can stand on my own, I don't need someone else's mahogany desk to prop me up.Just as I was about to get started on that, I had to drop everything and run over to get a dime nail or something for a red-necked poor mump when Al was about to I was walking back while putting the sandwich in my mouth, and at this point I realized that the blank checks had just happened to be used up.I remembered that I originally wanted to get some more tickets, but it was too late now. At this moment, I looked up and saw little Quentin coming.She came in through the back door.I heard her asking old Job if I was there, so I hurriedly stuffed things into the drawer and closed the drawer.

She comes to the table.I glanced at my watch. "Have you been back to dinner yet?" I said. "It's exactly twelve o'clock, and I just heard the clock strike. You must be flying here and there." "I'm not going back for lunch," she said. "Is there a letter for me today?" "You're waiting for a letter," I said. "You still have a boyfriend who can read and write letters?" "It's a letter from mother," she said. "Any letters from my mother?" she said, keeping her eyes on me. "There's one from her to my mother," I said. "I didn't take it apart. You'll have to wait until she takes it apart. I think she'll let you see it."

"Please tell me, Jason," she said, ignoring me, "do you have a letter from me?" "What's the matter with you?" I said. "I've never seen you so anxious about anyone. You must be waiting for her to send you money." "She said she was going to—" she said. "Thank you, Jason," she said, "do you have a letter from me?" "You've been to school today," I said, "that's where they teach you to say thank you. Hold on, let me take customers first." I walk away to serve customers.When I turned around and came back, I couldn't see her, she hid behind the desk.I ran over quickly.I hurried around behind the desk, her hand was withdrawing from the drawer when I grabbed her.I banged her knuckles on the table until she let go and snatched the letter away.

"You want to steal, do you want to steal?" I said. "Give me the letter," she said. "You've opened it. Give me the letter. Please, Jason. It's for me. I see the name on it." "I'm going to whip you with a saddle rope," I said. "What should be given to you is the rope. How dare you rummage through my things!" "Is there any money in it?" she said, holding out her hand to take it. "She said she would send me some money. She said yes. Give me the money." "What do you want money for?" I said. "She said she would send money," she said. "Please give me the money, Jason. You gave it to me this time, and I will never ask you for anything again."

"Don't worry, I'll give it to you," I said.I took out the letter paper and money order, and gave her the letter paper alone.She reached for the money order without even looking at the letter. " "You have to sign first," I said. "How much is the remittance?" she said. "You read the letter," I said.I think it's always mentioned in the letter. " She read the letter eagerly, and read it in two or three glances. "It wasn't in the letter," she said, looking up.She threw the letter on the ground. "How much is the remittance?"

"Ten dollars," I said. "Ten dollars?" she said, staring at me with wide eyes. "You should be satisfied when you get ten dollars." I said, "You're such an underage kid. What's the matter with you asking for money all of a sudden?" "Ten dollars?" she said, as if she was talking in sleep, "Only ten dollars?" She reached out her hand fiercely, trying to grab the money order. "You're talking nonsense," she said. "You are a thief!" she said, "You are a thief!" "You want to rob, do you want to rob?" I said, pushing her away. "Give me the money order," he said. "It's mine. She sent it to me. I want to see it, I want to see it." "You want to see?" I said and grabbed her. "What are you going to do?" "Just let me take a look, Jason," she said, "please. I'll never ask you for anything again." "You suspect me of lying, don't you?" I said. "That's why I won't let you see it." "But how come it's only ten dollars," she said, "and she told me she—she said—Jason, please, please, please, I've got to use some money. I've got to No. Just give it to me, Jason, I can do whatever you want. "Tell me why you need money so much!" I said. "I need money badly," she said.She stared at me, but suddenly she stopped looking at me, although her eyeballs didn't move.I know she's making up nonsense. "I owe someone money," she said, "and I have to pay. I have to pay today." "To whom? I said. Her hands were wringing. I could see she was trying to make up some nonsense." Did you get credit again at some store? "I said, "You don't have to say that kind of thing.I've spoken to every store in town.If you can still get anything on credit from any store after this; I'm convinced you. " "It's a girl," she said, "it's a girl. I owe her some money. I've got to pay her back. Jason, give me the money, please, I'll do anything you want. I want this No money. Mom will return it to you. I will write her a letter to ask her to return it to you, and I will never ask her for anything again. Please read the letter. Please, Jason. I It must be the money." "Tell me why you want the money first, and I'll decide what to do with it!" I said. "Tell me." She just stood there, rubbing her hands up and down her skirt. "Well then," I said, "if you think ten dollars is too little, let me take it home and give it to your grandma, and you know what it's going to do. Of course, if you've got money, you can't Don't care about the ten dollars—" She stood there, eyes downcast, looking at the floor, as if muttering to herself. "She said she'd send me some money. She said she'd send it here, and you said she hadn't sent any. She said she'd sent a lot of money here. She said The money was for me. Said I could use some of it. But you said we didn't get any money." "You know what's going on here as well as I do," I said. "Didn't you see what we did with those checks?" "Yes," she said, looking at the floor. "Ten dollars," she said, "ten dollars." "You should be thankful that you're lucky enough to receive ten dollars," I said. "Come on," I said.I put the remittance slip face down on the table and hold it down with my hand. "Sign it." "Can you let me see it?" she said. "I just want to take a look. No matter how much it says on it, I only ask you for ten dollars. The rest is yours. I just want to take a look." "You behaved so badly just now, I can't let you see it!" I said, "There is one thing you have to learn, and that is, you have to do what I tell you to do. You sign your name here." She picked up the pen, but she didn't sign it, she just stood there with her head down, the pen trembling in her hand.Just like her mother. "Oh my God!" she said, "Oh my God!" "Yes," I said, "if you can't learn anything else, this is the one thing you must learn. Sign here and get out of here." She signed. "Where's the money?" she said.I picked up the money order, blotted the ink, and put it in my pocket.Then I took out ten dollars and gave it to her. "Now you go back to school for afternoon class, do you hear me?" I said.She didn't answer: she crumpled the note in her palm as if it were a rag.She was walking out of the store just as Al walked in.A customer came in with him, and they stopped in front of the store.I put my things in order, put on my hat, and went to the front of the shop. "Is there a lot to do?" Al said. "Not too much," I said.He looked out the door, "Is that your car over there?" he said. "You'd better not go home for dinner. It's likely to be busy again before the matinee. You go to Rogers's and put the receipt in the drawer." "Thank you very much," I said. "But I think I can afford a meal myself." He always loves to stay in this place, guarding this door like a hawk, to see when I will come back.Well, he'll have to wait a little longer this time; I'm trying to look as good as possible.At least until I say "this is the last time I'll work for you"; but now the most important thing is to remember to get some more blank checks.But in this chaotic festive atmosphere, who can remember anything.Throw in this little band playing in town, and besides feeding a big family today, I'm looking everywhere for a blank check, and Al's watching that door like a hawk. I went to the print shop and said I wanted to play a joke on a friend, but the boss said he didn't have anything like that.Then he told me to go to the old opera house, he said that when the Merchant Bank closed down, someone put a lot of waste paper and junk there, so I took a few detours so that Al could not see In the alley, I finally found the old man Simmons, asked him for the key, went in and turned around.Finally, I found a blank check from the Bank of St. Louis.This time she will definitely pick it up and examine it carefully.But it can only be used to deal with it.I have no time, not even a minute to lose. ①The day in the novel (April 6) is two days before Easter. I go back to the store. "I forgot to take a few receipts, my mother asked me to go to the bank to go through the formalities!" I said.I went to the desk and filled out the check.I want to get all of this done quickly, I said to myself, fortunately, her eyes are not very helpful now, and with that little hoof in the family, a woman who believes in Christianity like my mother will certainly have a hard time .I told her you knew as well as I did what she was going to be when she grew up.But if you want to keep Die in your house and bring her up for your father's sake, that's your business too.Speaking of which, she was about to cry again, saying that this evil bastard was her own flesh and blood, so I said yes, yes.Do whatever you like.Now that you can bear it, I can't bear it. I put the letter back in the cover, taped it up, and went out. "You don't go out too long," Al said. "Okay," I said. "I'll go to the telegraph office. There's all the dodgers there. "Has any of you made a fortune and made a million dollars?" I said. "The market is so weak, who can do anything?" said the doctor. "What's the price?" I said.I went in and looked.Another three "points" below the open. "Dude wouldn't be dying over something as trivial as the cotton market, would he?" I said. "I thought you guys were so smart that you wouldn't be like this?" "Smart ass," said the doctor. "Twelve down at twelve o'clock. Made me gamble all my pants." "Twelve o'clock," I said. "Why didn't anyone deliver me a letter? Why didn't you tell me?" I said to the operator. "I'll announce the market as it comes," he said. "I'm not an underground exchange here." "You're neither stupid nor dumb, are you?" I said. "I spend so much money on you, you can't spare a minute to give me a call. Your goddamn telegraph company must be sharing pants with the big speculators of the East." He said nothing, pretending to be very busy. "Your wings are stiff, and the kid's shorts won't fit," I said. "Next, you should be a coolie." "What's the matter with you?" said the doctor. "You've earned three points." "Yeah," I said, "if I'm throwing this morning. I haven't mentioned it to you yet. Have you guys all bet on it?" "Twice we nearly capsized," said the doctor. "Thankfully we turned fast." "Well," said I. O. Snopes, "I'm lucky to-day, and I think it's only fair that I should come to visit me once in a while." I went away and left them to buy and sell at nickels a "point."I found a nigga and told him to get my car, and I stood on the corner waiting for him.I couldn't see Al with one eye on the clock and the other eye darting across the street looking for me, because I couldn't see the storefront from where I was standing.The nigger literally didn't bring the car up until a week later. "Where the hell have you been driving?" I said. "Walking around in front of those black chicks, huh?" "I wanted to come straight," said he, "and there were so many carriages in the square that I had to make a great detour." I've seen a lot of niggers who couldn't give an unassailable reason for anything they did.In fact, as long as you let him get a chance to drive a car, none of them will take this opportunity to show off.I got in the car and went around the square in a circle.Across the square, I caught a glimpse of Al in the store door. ①This is another speculator. I went all the way into the kitchen and told Dilsey to make lunch fast. "Quentin hasn't come back yet," she said. "So what?" I said. "Tomorrow, you still have to say that Luster is not hungry and doesn't want to eat right away. It's not like Quentin doesn't know the time for dinner at home. Hurry up and prepare, don't be wordy." Mother is in her own room.I handed the letter to her.She opened the letter and took out the check.She sat down with the check in her hand.I went to the corner and got a coal shovel and handed her the matches. "Come on," I said, "burn it up. You're going to cry again." She took the match, but did not strike it.She sat there staring at the check.I had expected her to be like that. "I don't like doing it," she said. "Do Quentin eats alone, it adds to your burden..." "I think we can manage it," I said. "Come on. Burn it now." But she just sat there with the check. "This one is from another bank," she said. "It used to be some bank in Indianapolis." "Yeah," I said. "Women are always so uncertain about things." "What's the matter?" she said. "Save money in two different banks!" I said. "Oh," she said, "she stared at the check for a while. "I'm glad to know that she's living like this...she's got so much...God knows I'm doing the right thing," she said. "Okay," I said, "just sue this. Let this joke be over." "Joke?" she said, "I was thinking—" "I always thought you were burning two hundred dollars a month as a joke," I said. "Okay, come on. Shall I strike a match?" "I can force myself to take the money," she said. "It's for my grandchildren. I'm not a proud person." "You're half-hearted," I said, "and it doesn't suit you. You've done it before, so don't change it. We'll get on with it." "I'll listen to you," she said, "but sometimes I'm a little concerned that doing this deprives you of the money you deserve. Maybe I'll be punished for it. If you want me to accept it, I can suppress mine too." Pride accepts the check." "What good is it if you've been burning checks for fifteen years and want to take them now?" I said. "If you keep burning, you've lost nothing, but if you start taking it now, you've lost fifty thousand dollars. Didn't we just live on until today?" I said. "Aren't you in the poorhouse yet?" "Yes," she said, "we Bascombes don't want a handout from anyone, let alone a depraved woman." She struck a match, lit the check, put it in the coal shovel, lit the envelopes, and watched them burn. "You don't know what a smell it is," she said, "thank God you'll never know what it's like to be a mother." "There are worse women in the world than she is," I said. "But they are not my daughters!" she said. "Not for myself," she said, "I'd love to have her back, guilt and all, she's my own blood after all. It's for little Quentin's good." Well, I could have said there's no way trying to ruin a scum like Quentin.But as I said a long time ago, I don't ask too much, as long as I can eat a bowl of Taiping rice at home and sleep soundly, I don't want a few women chattering and crying in the house. "For your own good, too," she said. "I know how you feel about her." "You don't mind me," I said. "You get her back." "No way," he said. "When I think of your father, I can't do that." "Remembering my father's constant attempts to persuade you to allow her to come home when Herbert abandoned her," I said. "You don't understand," she said. "I know you don't want to make things more difficult for me. But it's my job to suffer for my children," she said. "I can bear it." "It seems to me that you have expended unnecessarily much energy just to suffer," I said.The paper has been burned to ashes.I carried the ashes to the fireplace and sprinkled them on the grate. "I think it's a pity to burn good money," I said. "Don't let me see that one day my children will have to accept this money, it's the price of sin!" she said. "If there is such a day, I would rather see you lying in the coffin first." "As you please," I said. "Shall we have dinner soon?" I said. "If we don't serve dinner, I'll have to go back to the store. We've had a very busy day." She stood up. "I told her that once," I said. "Looks like she's going to wait for Quentin or Luster or whoever it is. Well, let me tell her, you wait." But she went to the stairs and shouted. "Quentin ain't back yet," Dilsey said. "Then I have to go back first," I said. "I could go down the street and get a sandwich. I don't want to mess with Dilsey," I said.As soon as I said that she yelled again, causing Dilsey to shuffle from side to side on her unruly legs, muttering: "All right! All right! I'll serve dinner as soon as possible." "I want to make your life as easy as possible for each of you," said my mother, "and I want to make your life as easy as possible." "I didn't say a word of complaint, did I?" I said. "I can go back to the store, what else can I say?" "I know," she said, "I know you haven't had the luck that other people have, and have had to bury your talents in a small country shop. I've always hoped that you'd get ahead. I've known your father never I understand that you are the only business-minded person in the family, and then the family fell into poverty. I thought that after Katie got married, that Herbert would... He promised to..." "Well, maybe he's lying," I said. "Probably he never opened a bank at all. Even if he did, there's no need for him to come all the way to Mississippi to hire a clerk." We ate for a while.I could hear Ben in the kitchen, where Luster was feeding him.I said long ago that if we had one more mouth to feed and Mu Yu wouldn't accept the money, why not just send him to Jackson.He can only be happy with people in the same situation.I said, God knows, a family like ours has nothing to be proud of.But don't want to see a thirty-year-old man playing in the yard with a nigger, running up and down the fence and mooing like a cow every time he plays golf over there--don't want to see this The scene doesn't need much pride.I said we'd be a lot better off today if he'd been sent to Jackson in the first place.I said, you've done your duty to him, you've done everything you're expected to do, and you've done too much, so why don't you send him there? Shouldn't the tax enjoy some national benefits?Then she said, "I'm not going to die soon. I know I'm just a burden to you." So I said, "I don't know how many years you've been saying this, and I can't help but believe it a little bit. "Only I say you'd better not just go back and say it's not sure, and don't let me know, because I'm sure I'm going to make Bengui take sixteen trips to Jackson overnight.I added that I knew of a place to put her, which was neither Milk Lane nor Honey Lane anyhow.Speaking of which, she started crying again, so I said, "Okay!"All right!I'm as proud of my loved ones as anybody else, though I can't always figure out where they came from. We ate for a while.Mother sent Dilsey to the gate again to see if Quentin was here. "Didn't I tell you several times, she won't come for lunch!" I said. "She knows she should come back to eat!" said mother. "She knows I won't let her run about the streets. Don't come home at mealtimes. Did you take a good look, Dilsey?" "Then don't send her to watch!" I said. "What do you want me to do," she said. "Every one of you is against me, always against me. "As long as you don't interfere, I can get her to behave," I said. "In less than a day, I'll be able to bring her to her knees." "You're going to treat her in a very brutal way," she said. "You have your Uncle Maury's temper." This sentence reminded me.I pulled out the letter and handed it to her. "You don't even need to open this letter," I said. "Anyway, the bank will let you know how much was paid this time." "The letter is for you," she said. "You take it apart," I said.She opened the letter, read it, and handed it back to me. The letter reads: My dear little nephew: ① refers to little Quentin, which means that she can be sent to a brothel. ②Using the allusion in the third chapter of "Bible Exodus", God asked Moses to bring the Israelites to a "land flowing with milk and honey".