Chapter 98 Chapter two

How Banuzhi was sent to Salmigundan, the country of thirsty people, as the governor; Paguguai ordered to notify the government of the thirsty country, appointing Banuzhi as the governor of Salmigundan, with a fixed annual salary of 6,789,106,789 "dynasty gold coins"① , not including the irregular income under the items of scarabs and snails.This income averages about 2,435,768 to 2,435,769 "long wool gold coins" per year.Sometimes when the harvest of snail shells is good and the beetles need a lot of harvest, you can receive one billion three hundred and thirty-four million five hundred and fifty-four thousand three hundred and twenty one "seraphim".However, this is not the case every year.The new Governor-General, who arrived in office, acted wisely and wisely, and spent all the fixed and irregular income of the Governor-General for three years in less than two weeks.As you can imagine, he didn't spend his money on building seminaries, building temples, running schools, hospitals, and abuse of flowers, but on drinking every day, singing every night, drinking buddies, girls, and women He entertains all the young ladies and young ladies, and no one refuses to come.In the end, I had no choice but to kill chickens and get eggs, drink poison to quench my thirst, borrow money to survive, buy expensive and sell cheap, and eat enough food for free.

After hearing the news, Paiguguai was not angry, angry or indignant at all. Didn’t I tell you again and again in the past that he is the kindest little man in the world, never carries a weapon in his waist, and is good at everything Look at it from the other side, interpret all actions as benevolent, never annoyed, never angry. If you get angry and lose your temper, it is tantamount to leaving the innate rationality, because all the earth-shattering things, no matter what they are: heavenly, underground, vertical, horizontal, should not let it excite us emotions, disturbing our senses and reason.

All he had to do was call Panurge aside quietly, and tell him gently that if he went on like this, unchecked, it would be impossible—or at least very difficult—to get rich. "Get rich?" Panurge replied. "Have you considered this idea? Do you really intend to make me rich in the world? Good God! Good men and women! You still think of living a happy life. Don't let any cares and melancholy enter your great mind. The sacred realm of the world. Don't let any cloud of sorrow and troubled thoughts cloud the clarity of your mind. As long as your life is happy, your spirits are good, and your mood is good, I'm happier than being rich. Everyone is saying: 'Restrain, Be thrifty!' People who talk about frugality don't understand what frugality means at all. You can only ask me for advice. I can tell you now, you have to remember well, what others think is my disadvantage is actually the god of Paris. An imitation of the colleges and judicial offices, where pantheology and the true source of all righteous thought are seated. Whoever doubts it and does not firmly believe it is a heresy. There, on the very day of the bishop's arrival, eat Losing the bishop's (or diocesan's income, which is the same anyway) a whole year's income, sometimes two years' income, there is absolutely no excuse for him if he doesn't intend to be stoned immediately.

"This is also to fulfill the four virtues ③: "First of all, be prudent and prudent; get the money first, because it is impossible to predict who will bite and who will kick. Who can say that the world can last for three years? Even if the world can last, which lunatic dares to believe in himself Can live for three years? Who will be able to make clever calculations to guarantee that he will survive tomorrow①. ① Gold coins used by the dynasty of Charles V. ① Universal theology. ② When the bishop of Paris arrives in office, he must spend a lot of money and host a banquet. ③ Refers to the four virtues of the cardinal, see the text.

"The second is justice and fairness; the first is fair dealing, buying dear (I mean on credit) and selling cheap (I mean cash). What does Gaddo say in his "On Thrift"? He says that a family The master must always be a seller. He cannot get rich if he hoards everything. The second is fair distribution, giving food to good people (remember, good people) and good companions, these people, fate has thrown them on the mountain of hunger without food, as it did with Ulises; To a good woman (remember, be a good woman) and a young young woman (remember, be young, for according to Hippocrates' maxim ④ young loves to eat, and lively, light, excited, lively, vigorous ), as for young women, they happen to have fun with honest men, they understand the principles of Plato and Cicero⑤, they know that they are not born into this world for their own sake, but to contribute their own, partly to the country and partly to friends .

"The third is fortitude; like Myron reborn⑥, felling trees, destroying dark forests, dens of wild beasts such as jackals, porcupines, and foxes, dens of thieves and strongmen, hiding places of murderers, and counterfeiting The black shops of the coin collectors, the secret caves of evil ways, level them together as a barren land, let it be covered with weeds, play the flute⑦, and prepare the seat to sit on the eve of the judgment. "The fourth is temperance; eating green wheat before it is ripe is like a monk eating greens and grass roots, cheating hunger casually, so as to save things for the disabled and sick. Because, in doing so , save the wheat reapers who make a living by working, the wheat harvesters who drink without water, the wheat pickers who need to give them fried cakes to eat, and the wheat threshers who don’t keep onions, garlic, and even leeks in the garden. —Virgil’s Sestily is the witness—the thieving miller, and the baker who is not much better than them; not counting the ravages of rats, the consumption of warehouses, weasels, The gnawing of pests, can I save less?

"Maiqing can also be used as a delicious spicy soy sauce. It can be used as a condiment. It is easy to cook. Eating it can help digestion, refresh the mind, improve eyesight, appetize, taste, clear the heart, soothe the tongue, moisten the throat, strengthen the body, and activate the blood. , invigorate the spleen, help the liver, ventilate, benefit the kidney, activate the waist, strengthen the bones, clear the urethra, expand the seminal vesicles, shrink the testicles, clear the bladder, strengthen the yang, cure impotence, nourish yin, and nourish yang. In addition, it can make you grow a healthy body Belly, you can fart loudly, dumbly, smelly, pee, sneeze, whimper, cough, vomit, yawn, blow your nose, exhale, inhale, exhale and inhale, snore, Sweat, penis lifting, and countless other rare benefits."

"I see," said Paiguguay, "that you mean that stupid people do not spend much money in a short time. You are not the first to conceive of this fallacy. Nero insisted, and in all Among the people there was a special admiration for his uncle Caius Caligula, who had ingeniously spent the whole family fortune in a few days, as well as the estate left to him by Rabelius. However, you have not observed and followed the Roman laws of thrift and luxury, such as: the Orcian law, the Phanian law, the Didian law, the Lycinian law, the Cornerian law, the Lebbidian law Nafa, Antiochus ⑤, and the Corinthians ① See lines 619 and 620 of Seneca's tragedy "Tiestes".

② See the seventh line of the fifth and fifth chapters of the second volume of Gaduo's "Agronomy". ③ The story can be found at the end of Book V of Homer's Odyssey. ④ See Chapter 13 of Volume I of Hippocrates' Proverbs. ⑤ Both Plato and Cicero taught people to sacrifice themselves to make everyone better.Eslamus also quoted Plato and Cicero in Section 81 of Chapter VI of Book IV of Proverbs. ⑥ For the story of Myron cutting down a tree to death, see Chapter 16, Volume 15 of "Attica Night" by Olus Galias. ⑦ The original text jouant des haulx boys also means that nobles cut trees and sell them for money.

① Use tree stumps as seats during court sessions. ② Sestily prepared meals for the reapers, even using onions and garlic.See Vergil's "Idyll", the second line tenth. ③ Caius Caligula: Tyrant of the Roman Empire in the first century. ④ See Chapter 30 of Suetonius' Biography of Nairo. ⑤ Macrobius elaborated on the above laws in Chapter 17 of the third volume of his "Saturnalia". According to these laws, it is strictly forbidden to spend more than the annual income, and you, you only care about eating, like the Roman priest, the Jewish Passover lamb, eat up all you can eat, and leave the rest. Throw the next day into the fire, so that there is not even a little food to eat the next day.I can tell you honestly that you are exactly like the consummatum est that Cado of Albidius said when he had eaten up all his possessions and burned down the only house that remained, St. Thomas Acquis That's what he said after eating a whole conger eel③.This is not necessary to imitate them. "

① The law of Corinth stipulates that all citizens must hand over their income and expenditure accounts every year, and those who violate the order will be executed. ② Latin: "eat up, end". ③ St. Louis entertained St. Thomas Aquinas. St. Thomas was only thinking about poetry. He ate up all the eels the emperor ate, and then happily said: consummatum est (eat up), which means he is happy. It just so happens that the last word is him Find the rhyme.