Chapter 83 Chapter Twenty Two

How Bannurges made a fool of the lady of Paris Please remember that the next day is the Feast of Corpus Christi, on which all the ladies are dressed up, and the lady we are talking about also wore a very beautiful crimson satin for the festival. The one-piece dress, and a luxurious white velvet petticoat inside. On the first day, Banuzhi searched here and there, and finally found a bitch in heat. He tied it up with his belt and led it to his house. He kept it well for a day and a night, and killed it at dawn. The magician's secret recipe, cut it into tiny pieces as best he could, and hid it on his body, and carried it to the place where the lady was on the procession of prayers, a ritual routine at Eucharist.As soon as she came in, Banuj went forward to offer holy water, and at the same time saluted her respectfully, and after she finished reading a few short passages, he knelt down beside her kneeling stool and handed over a song he had written. For her, the content is this:

This time, short song, beautiful lady, you are too cruel to me, you drive me away, so that I have no hope of turning back, I have never been absurd to you, whether it is in words, words or thoughts or actions. If, say, you really loathe my sadness, you could very well, bluntly, say to me, "My friend, get out of here. Even if it's just this trip. " I show you my heart, it will do no harm to you, I just want to say from my heart that you are beautiful, dazzling and bright like a spark; Just this trip. When she spread the paper and looked at the words written on it, Panurge quickly placed the things he brought on several places on her body, even tucked them into the folds of her sleeves and clothes, and said to her:

"Madame, poor amorous souls are not always happy. I hope, for my love of you, that the long night, the toil, and the torment I have endured will save me from the pains of purgatory. Or at least, please Ask God to give me the patience to endure pain." Before Panurge finished speaking, all the dogs in the church ① could smell the fishy smell of what he brought out, and they ran towards the lady one by one.Some big ones, some small ones, some fat ones, some thin ones, they all came, and each of them cocked their dicks, and while smelling it, they pissed her all over the body, dripping.There is nothing more ugly in the world.

Panurge chased the dogs for her for a while, then left her and hid in the small hall next to her, waiting to see this good show, because those wild dogs pissed all over her clothes, and a big hunting dog actually ① Catholics call this festival "Holy Eucharist", which was approved by Pope Urban IV in 1264, and the date is Thursday of the first week after Pentecost. ② The original text is a short poem with two lines and one rhyme. ① In the Middle Ages, churches were used for people to rest, where they could talk and do business, even if dogs ran in, no one chased them away. Her head, others, some urinated on her sleeves, some on her buttocks, the puppy urinated on her platform shoes, and all the women around were busy helping her to drive the dog.

Banuzhi smiled happily, and said to a prince in the city: "I think the lady must be in mating season, or a hound has just had sex with her." He saw the dogs surrounding her and howling, as they would a bitch in mating, and he left to find Paiguguay. Every time he met a dog on the road, he gave it a kick, and said, "Aren't you going to the wedding with your companions? Go! Go! Damn it! Go!" and went to the lodgings. , he said to Panagure: "Master, please hurry up and see that all the dogs are surrounded by a lady. This is the most beautiful lady in this city. They are going to rape her."

Pagoda hurried over, for what he saw was a novelty. But the most wonderful thing is that when the prayer procession is held, there are only six hundred thousand and fourteen dogs surrounding the lady, making all kinds of strange things to her; The coming dogs followed her, and wherever her dress touched, there were dogs urinating there. Seeing this scene, all the people stood still, watching those dogs jumping up on her collar in a strange way, ruining all her luxurious clothes, the lady had nothing else to do but run home. The method; the dog chased after, she dodged in front, and some women couldn't stop laughing.

When she ran into the house and closed the gate, all the dogs from half a mile around came and urinated on her door, until it turned into a ditch in which ducks could swim.This ditch is the river that now passes through Sainte-Victor, and it is through these peculiar properties of dog piss that Gobrandt dyes his red cloth, as our Master Dorebus once publicly stated The same as ③.May God help you!Even a mill installed there can grind grain, but it is not as good as the Barcelona-Cola mill in Toulouse④. ① That is, the Biaiwo River, which is three meters wide and leads to the Seine River. ② The Gobrandt dyeing workshop with the crane as its signboard is on the side of the Biaiva River and on the St. Marseille Avenue. It was presided over by the Gobrandt widow in 1532.Later, the widow's son continued to run the business until the 17th century. It is said that the dyeing workshop of Goberland dyed well because of the help of gods and ghosts in the water of Biaiwo River, which has special effects, and because urine was used instead of Amo in the dyeing workshop. Nia, so the river is often filthy.

③ Dou Libus: It may refer to Matthew Orly of the Benedictines (the justice in 1536). In the 1537 edition, it is not Master Dou Libus, but Master De Guerrecourt. Refers to Guru Duchena of Solpon, the theologian who had supported Beda against the Humanists. "Doolibus" also means "golden color", that is, the color of "dung", the author deliberately gave him a bad name. ④ To the west of Toulouse, there is an old mill and an earth embankment, which make the Garonne River next to it form a beautiful waterfall, which is one of the scenic spots in Europe.