Chapter 82 Chapter 21

How Banurge fell in love with a noble lady in Paris, Banurge After arguing with the British, he became famous in Paris, and from then on, he increased the value of his trousers, and he asked someone to sew some lace on it like the Romans.The residents praised him openly, and made up a song for the children to sing while they went to buy wasabi.In the circle of ladies, he was also very popular, and his reputation grew, until finally he turned to the idea of ​​a lady in the city. Just as the immovable sentimental man complains during Lent, Banuj said to the lady one day: "Madame, if you are willing to carry on the family line for me, it will be beneficial to the entire republic, you will be comfortable, your descendants will be honored, and I especially need it; please believe that the facts will prove to you that I will never lie you."

After hearing this, the lady refused him thousands of miles away and said: "You're crazy, are you the one who can tell me this? Who do you think you're talking to? Get out of here, and don't let me see you again, or I'll have your arms and legs cut off." Chop them all off." "That's all right," said he, "and chop off your arms and legs, if you'll play a nice game with me; look (he takes out his long crotch), here's my John ? Master Redi ②, he can play a set of "ancient dance music" for you to ensure that you will feel comfortable to the bone marrow. He is both romantic and can find the door, even the small hole of the mouse, and clean up afterward. Not even a speck of dust remains."

The lady said: "Go away, you bastard, go away quickly! If you talk too much, I will call for someone to beat you up." "Oh!" he said, "you are by no means as powerful as you say, otherwise I would be too inaccurate in my judgment: because a person as beautiful and beautiful as you can be a little bit vicious and deceptive , that would simply turn the world upside down, and the whole world would be turned upside down. It would be hard to say: You have met a beauty who is not obstinate; but this is only said of the mediocre beauties.But your beauty is so outstanding, special, and sublime. I think nature puts this kind of beauty on you, like an example, so that we can understand how much it can do if it exerts all its strength and wisdom. things.Everything on you is honey, sugar, and 'manna' that fell from the sky.

① When children go to buy wine or mustard, they always hum a song; mustard can be used as a popular drink at that time. ② John Redi: Dance musician, author of the dance music "Usadi"; here it means "unfortunate husband", and also refers to "phallus" in disguise. ① In the early 16th century, there was an idiom by De Powell, with slightly different words: "The beauty is slim, stubborn and irritable." ② "Manna": A kind of food that Yahweh gave to the Israelites, see Chapter 16 of "Old Testament? Exodus". "Paris should give you the golden apple, not Venus, nor Juno nor Minerva; for Juno has not your manners, Minerva has not your dignity, Venus Si is far less elegant than you.

"O gods and goddesses in the sky, how happy you will be to a man who can hold, kiss, and touch this beauty! By God, I can see , this person must be me, because the beauty has already loved me with all her heart, I know, I was appointed by the gods. So, let's not waste time, hurry up, come on, kick your legs! " He wanted to hug him, but she acted like she was going to the window to call for him.Panuzhi had no choice but to run away. While running, he said: "Madam, you wait for me here; I will find someone to go by myself, you don't need to bother." He really walked away, not caring about the snag just now, and still in high spirits.

The next day, when the lady went to the church to attend mass, he had already been there in advance.At the entrance, he saluted her deeply and offered holy water; then kneeling beside her as if he were his own, he said to her: "Ma'am, I love you so much that I can't even defecate. I don't know how you are. What if something happens to me?" "Go away," she said, "go away, I don't care! You let me pray to God here." Banurge said: "Then, please say 'to Viscount Bomon'." "I don't know what that means," she said.

"That is: 'When you see a beauty, your words harden'. Now you can ask God to give me what your noble heart desires, and give me your rosary." "Here," she said, "don't bother me any more." After saying this, she wanted to draw him out her rosary beads of small sandalwood beads and large beads of real gold; but Panurge quickly drew a knife from his belt, and with a snap, cut Then he sent the rosary to the second-hand goods place, and told her before leaving. "Do you want my knife?" "No, no!" she said. "Tell you," he said, "it obeys your orders completely, life, property, internal organs, whatever you want."

The lady was very unhappy at the loss of her rosary, which she needed to maintain her pious attitude in church, and she thought to herself, "This glib man is not a decent man, he must come from some strange place." My rosary will never come back again. How can my husband see it? He will be angry with me, but I can tell him that it was cut off by thieves in the church, and he can easily believe it, because I still have a rosary head around my waist." After eating, Panurge saw her coming again, with a large purse in his sleeve, full of "court's money" and chips, and he said:

"Which one of us loves more, do you love me more, or do I love you more?" She replied: "And I don't hate you, because, according to the commandment of God, I will love everyone." ③ Paris, also known as Alexander, the second son of King Priamus of Troy, once gave the golden apple to Venus, but did not give it to Minerva and Juno, which aroused their jealousy and hatred. ① There is only one sound difference between this sentence and the original text of "To the Viscount Beaumont". The former sentence is: A Beaumont le Vicomte, and the latter sentence is: A beau con levit monte.

② For every ten small beads of the rosary, there is a big bead. The small beads read "Ode to Our Lady", and the big beads read "Our Father". ① "Aiju of the court": A kind of bargaining chip, used for paying taxes at that time, similar in style to "Aiju". "Then," said he, "you love me?" "I've told you many times," she said, "don't you ever say such things to me again! If you do, I'll show you that these mean things are never meant to be said to me. Get out of here Now, give me back my rosary before my husband asks for it."

"Why," said he, "madame, your rosary? To tell you the truth, it can't be done, but I can give you something else. Would you like something gold and enamel like a great ball, or something like a hydrangea? Or solid ones like chunks of gold? Or, do you like ebony, onyx, carved garnets, or fine rubies set with large diamonds carved with twenty-eight ribs? "No, no, that's not enough. I know of a kind of rosary made of fine jasper, set with a round ball of gray amber, joined by a Persian pearl as big as an orange! It costs only Twenty-five thousand 'dugas'. I will give it to you, for I have money ready." As he spoke, he shook his chips as if they were all "sun gold coins". "Would you like a piece of velvet of the color of bright lilac, or a piece of embroidered red satin? Would you like gold chains, gold jewellery, brooches, rings, etc? Wan 'duga', I don't care." These few words made the lady salivate, but she still replied to him: "No, thank you, I don't want anything from you." "By God," he said, "I would like something from you, but it costs you nothing, and you have nothing to lose. You see (he pulls out his pantaloons again), this is me Master John Schuyl, it just wants to find a place to hide." After saying that, he wanted to hug her; she cried out, but not loudly.But Panuri changed his countenance and said to her: "Are you sure you won't let me have any? It's your bad luck! You should be ruined; speak to God, and I'll let the dog ride on you." After saying this, he ran away in a big stride. If he didn't run away, he was afraid of being beaten. He was born afraid of being beaten. ② The original text is: "Speak to the Sergeant", (par mon sergent) He should have said: "I swear" (par mon serment), only one letter is missing. ① It is equivalent to about 29,625,000 gold francs, and the Venetian "Durga" is only worth eleven francs and eighty-five centimes. ② "Sun gold coin": the gold coin of Louis IX and Charles VIII, with a sun on it. ③ John Shua: Another name of Phalus, the god of adultery in Greek mythology, "Shuya" means: "male owl", here also refers to "phallus".