Chapter 78 Chapter Seventeen

How Panurge bought pardons; how he married old women and his suit in Paris One day, I saw Banuzhi with a shy face and taciturn. I thought he must have no money to spend, so I asked him: "Banuge, I can see from your face that you are sick, and I know what it is: your purse is leaking; but don't worry: I have six small coins that neither my parents have seen, When you want it, it’s as ready-made as bayberry sore.” He listened, and immediately said to me: "What's the money! One day I'll just have too much to use; because I have a philosopher's stone that can suck money from other people's purses to me, just like a magnet attracts iron." Then he asked me again. :

"Are you going to buy pardons?" I replied to him, "To be honest, I don't carelessly forgive people's sins in this world; I don't know if it will be the same after death. Well, let's go, for God's sake, no more, no less, send He's a penny." "Then," he said, "you lend me one first, and I'll give you interest." "No, no," I replied, "I'll give it to you." "Grates vobis, Dominos," he said. So we went, first to the Church of St. Gerva, where I only got absolution in the first place where the money was offered, because I am satisfied with one thing in such things, and then I read some short scriptures and St. Brired's Prayer.But Panurge went to every place where money was offered to buy absolutions, and he gave money to every priest who sold absolutions.

From there, we walked to Notre-Dame, St. John, St. Anthony, and other churches that sold forgiveness, and we went to them all.I have had enough of myself, no more pardons; but he, at every place where offerings are made, kisses relics and offers alms.To put it simply, after we came back, he took me to the Castle Restaurant⑥ to have a drink, and also showed me that he had a dozen pockets, all of which were full of money.As soon as I saw it, I made the sign of the sign of the sign of the cross and said: "Where did you get so much money in such a short time?" He answered me that he had stolen it from the forgiveness plate, and said:

"Because, when I gave them the first piece of money, I placed it so skillfully that they saw it as a large piece of silver; but I got back twelve pieces with one hand, which was twelve 'rials. ’⑦, or ‘double riyals’, and the other hand also brought back forty or fifty dollars, so that I have stolen all the churches I have been to.” ① The two sentences here come from the second, first and fifth lines of the comedy "Bartland". ② Latin: "I thank you, God." Correctly speaking, it should be: Gratia ago tibi, Domine. . ① St. Brired's Prayer was recognized as the most effective prayer in the fifteenth century.

② Usually only in the Roman cathedral there are priests who sell absolutions publicly. ③ Notre Dame Cathedral: Notre Dame Cathedral in Paris. ④ St. John: It may be the St. John Lelong Church next to the Notre-Dame Church or the St. John En Gleve Church on Du Martevo Street on the right bank of the Seine. ⑤ The Little St. Anthony's Church on St. Anthony Street. ⑥ Castle Restaurant: A well-known hotel at that time, in the Jewish Street. ⑦ "Rial": the name of the French bronze coin. "But," said I, "you are as corrupt as a viper, you are a thief and a sacrilege."

"Yes, yes," said he, "but that's your opinion; as for me, I don't; for I think it was given to me by the alms priests when they offered me a relic to kiss, and they read Write: Centuplum accipies①, which is equivalent to asking me to give one and take back a hundred; accipies is based on the usage of the Hebrews, replacing the imperative tense with the future tense, just like the words in the classics: Diliges Dominum and dilige②.So the man who sold pardons said to me: Centuplumaccipies, I think he said: Centuplum accipe; Master Guimet, Master Aben Ezra, and all the Masolets said the same, even Baal Torrus ⑥ is also counted.

Also, Pope Sixtus⑦ was suffering from chancre and thought he was going to be crippled all his life. I cured him, and he gave me fifteen thousand from his own property and the property of the church. An annuity of 100 livres, so I can withdraw my church money by myself, because this is the best way. "Ah, my friend," said he, "you will be amazed if you know how much I have made on the Crusades. I have made more than six thousand florins." "Where are all the gold coins?" I said. "You don't have a penny now." "Where do you come from and where do you go, it's just a change of master.

"I used more than 3,000 yuan as a dowry for old women who have lost all their teeth in their mouths. They are not young girls, because there will be too many girls looking for husbands. For older women, Here's what I thought: 'These women were comfortable when they were young, they played all kinds of tricks, they played with everyone, and they played until no one wanted them before they were brought down. By God, stimulate them before they die, Let them move!' So I gave this one a hundred 'florins', that one a hundred and twenty, and the other three hundred, all according to how ugly, nasty, and disgusting they were. They, because they are ugly and repulsive, need to be given more, or the devil will not want them. Then I went to find a good boy who did the work. I wanted to do this marriage business myself, but I didn't let him Before I saw the old woman, I showed him a few quids and told him, "My friend, if you work hard, the money will be yours." When those guys heard it, they were like old mules. I roared like roaring. I took care to prepare food for them, give them good wine to drink, and ordered a lot of candy, which stimulated all the old women one by one. Finally, they finished their work in a serious manner; Except for old women who are particularly ugly, or really look down on, I put a cloth bag on their faces first.

⑧ Another explanation is: "Degenerate behavior like a knife." ① Latin: "It will be recovered a hundred times in the future." See "New Testament? Matthew" Chapter 19, Section 29. ② Latin: "Fear the Lord, your God", and "With all your heart", here in the first edition: Dominum Deum tuum adorabiset illi soli servies; dilige proximumtuum et sic de alis. (meaning: "Fear the Lord , your God, serve him, and love your neighbor as yourself?.") See "Deuteronomy" chapter six verse thirteen, "Luke" chapter four verse eight, "Lev Chapter 19, Section 32 of Unrecorded, Chapter 12, Section 30 of Mark, Gospel of Luke, Chapter 10, Section 27, Gospel of Matthew, Section 22 Chapter thirty-seventh.

③ Latin: "Take it back a hundred times." ④ Master Jigme (1160-240): Jewish polymath. ⑤ Aben Ezra (1119-174): Spanish master of erudition. ⑥ Bartorus: Italian jurist in the 14th century. ⑦ Sixtus: Sixtus IV, Pope from 1471 to 1484. ⑧ In the three years of 1515, 1517, and 1518, believers donated a lot of money to the Pope, but the Crusades did not go out.It is also said that the Crusades had earned the Pope a lot of wealth.J.Bouchet) explained that in 1515 there was a kind of absolution called "Crusade", so here it is still referring to absolution. ⑨ "Florin": Italian gold coin with Florentine lilies cast on it, hence the name.

"Besides, I also spent a lot of money on lawsuits." "What can you sue for?" said I. "You have neither land nor house." He said: "My friend, the ladies of this city have probably been provoked by the devil in hell to create a very tight collar, or scarf, so that their breasts are completely covered, and it is almost impossible to get out from underneath." In the hand, because the slit was left behind, there was no opening in the front, much to the dissatisfaction of the poor lovers, suitors, lovers of women. One Tuesday, I filed a pleading with the court , Sue those ladies, explain the reasons I insist on, and claim that if the court does not deal with it immediately, I will open the crotch of my trousers for the same reason. The ladies listened and united, stated the reasons, and appointed an agent People defended them. But I firmly appealed, and finally the General Court issued a judgment, ordering that such high scarves should not be worn in the future, unless there is an opening in the front. I spent a lot of money for this. "Another time, I even got into a nasty legal battle with 'Master Feifei' and his deacons. I asked them not to read "Bussar's Barrel" secretly at night, "Proverbs I want them to read the fourth volume of "Anthology" ③ during the day, and go to the school on Caoshi Street to read it in front of the masters of theology. In this matter, because the bailiff miscommunicated, I was fined to pay court costs. "Besides, there was another time when I delivered a pleading in court against the mules of the presidents, judges, and others, and I asked them to leave the mules in the court yard, while they waited impatiently, The judge's wife puts a beautiful bib pad on the mules to keep their spittle from smearing the pavement, so that the court men can have fun rolling dice or playing 'I Betray God' on the road, no matter what. As for soiling the trouser-legs again, I got a satisfactory verdict on that matter; but it cost me a good deal of money. "So, if you add it up and do the math, it's just how much I pay for treating the deacons of the court to dinner every day." "For what?" I asked. "My friend," said he, "I see you can't have fun in the world, but I am better than a king. If you will unite with me, we can do what ghosts do." "No, no," said I, "speak to St. Adoras! Beware you will be hanged." "And you," said he, "will be buried in the end; and which is more comfortable, hanging in the air, or buried in the earth? Ah, stupid! But then again, when When the deacons of the court were eating and drinking, I guarded the mules for them, and by the way, I cut off the stirrup on the side where the animal rode first, so that it was only connected by a thread. Or someone else, when he raised his legs to ride an animal, he fell to the ground like a pig in the public, and made people laugh more than he picked up a hundred francs. As for me, I laughed more Great, because when they get home, they will definitely have Mr. Deacon beaten like green wheat. ③Therefore, I don’t regret inviting them to eat and drink.” ① The open collar of women's underwear began with Charles V. High collars were popular during the reign of François I. During the reign of Charles IX, the collars were all buttoned up to the ears. ① "Master Feifei": the alias of the person who dug out the cesspit and the gutter at that time. ② "Busar" also means "big barrel", with a capacity of 268 liters. ③ "Proverbs": the works of Pierre Lombard in the 12th century, which were the teaching textbooks of the schools at that time, with four volumes in total. ① St. Adoras: The god who protects people from hanging. "Adauras" (Adauras) comes from the Latin adauras, which means "the air that people breathe". The author created a St. Adoras, Make him protect the hanged man from dying. ② There is also a sentence here on the first edition: "Isn't Jesus just hanging in mid-air?" ③ When the ears of wheat are not yet ripe, they need to be beaten hard so that the grains will come down. Altogether (as above), he had sixty-three ways of getting money, but two hundred and fourteen ways of spending it, not counting the cost of filling that thing under his nose. ④ Refers to eating and drinking with one's own mouth.