Chapter 76 Chapter fifteen

How Paganogue proposed a new method of building the walls of Paris One day, Paiguguet felt tired after studying for a long time, so he went for a walk in the suburbs of Saint-Marceau ① to rest, and he planned to visit the Gobrandt amusement park ②.Banurge was by his side.Banurge always carried a bottle of wine and a piece of ham under his clothes; because he couldn't go out without these two things, he said that this was the treasure he always carried with him.He carried no sword, but Paiguguet offered to give him one, which, he said, would burn his spleen. Abby Simon said: "If someone bullies you, how can you resist?"

"Run," Panurge replied, "as long as you can escape the sword." When they returned, Banurge pointed to the walls of Paris, and said to Paguguet with a mocking air: "Look at this decent wall! It's only for the protection of moulting birds! Talk to my beard, for a city like Paris, this kind of wall is too bad, a cow farts It can be knocked down by more than six 'Tuo' ⑤." "Oh, my friend," said Paiguguay, "do you know what Agesilaus answered when he was asked why the great city of Lacedaemon had no walls? Residents who are skilled in martial arts, brave and strong, and have plenty of weapons said: "This is the city wall." He meant that only human bones can be called a city wall, and there is no more reliable and stronger city wall than the bravery of ordinary people. There are people living in the city. Nothing could be more reliable than such a heroic and combative population, and they needn't worry about building another city wall. Besides, even if they wanted to build a city wall, like Strasbourg, Orléans, or Ferrara, it would be impossible. It's too expensive."

"However," said Banurge, "when you are surrounded by enemies, it is good to have a stone wall to show them, if only to ask: 'Who is in the city?'. As for As you said, building a city wall requires a lot of expense, if the gentlemen in the city will give me a large jar of wine, I can teach them a new method of building the city wall at the lowest cost." "How?" asked Paiguguay. Banuzhi replied, "I tell you, don't tell it. "I think the women's things here are cheaper than stones. They should be used to build city walls. Arrange them according to the symmetrical law of architecture. Use the medium-sized ones, then use the smallest ones, and finally connect so many hard things in the crotch in the monastery, and arrange them one by one like the tall city of Bourges.

"What the hell can tear down such a city wall? There is no metal that can withstand blows like it. Let those guys rub it in. Speak to God, and you will see a kind of St. Mary in no time." Suburb of Ersau: the current Saint-Marcel district, which had not yet been incorporated into the urban area of ​​Paris at that time. ② Gobrandt Playground is located in the suburb of St. James, not far from the Beaver River. There is only Gobrandt Dyeing Factory in the suburb of St. Marceau. ③ The spleen is on the left side of a person's body, and the sword is usually carried on the left side, so Banuzhi said that the friction of the sword would burn his spleen.

④ The city walls of Paris were built by the Philip Augustus dynasty at the end of the 12th century. The forts are dilapidated, and there are small irregular houses inside and outside, which look like small cages for raising birds. ⑤ "Tuo": The length of a person's two hands stretched flat, about 1?62 meters. ⑥ Agesilaus: King of Sparta from 397 BC to 360 BC, captured Persia and defeated Greece. ① Strasbourg: The capital of Alsace, France, there were three square towers in ancient times to defend the city. ② The city wall of Orleans was built from the time of Charles VIII to the dynasty of Henry II. It is five kilometers long and has sixteen gates.

③ This is "Carl Penterras" on the first edition. The author changed it to "Ferrara" after returning from Italy in 1534. The city wall here is famous for its tallness and strength. The divine product rains down syphilis on them, and very quickly, speaks to the devil, never lies!Not only this, even thunder cannot split; why?Because those things have been blessed, or canonized. "However, there is only one inconvenience." "Ah, ah, ha, ha, ha!" Paguguai laughed, "what's the inconvenience?" "I'm afraid of the flies that are so fond of such things, they will come in swarms like a treasure and leave all their dirt on it; then our work will be finished. However, I have a remedy here. , with a fox's tail, or with a long, stiff fellow like a Provencal donkey. But, for this, I want to give you a good example (while we go to dinner ), that is what Fra-ter Lubinus, libro De compotationibusmendicantium1 says.

"In the age when beasts could talk (it was only three days old), an unlucky lion was walking in the woods of Bievo. While muttering scriptures, he passed under a tree. A woodcutter was chopping wood, and when he saw the lion he threw his ax and cut one of the lion's legs. The lion limped about in the woods for a long time, seeking to be healed. At last it met a carpenter, who was very enthusiastic. After looking at its wounds, he washed the lion's wounds as best as he could, applied the juice of moss, and told him to chase away the flies, and don't let the flies catch them. The dirt was left on the wound, while he went to get some yarrow leaves to bind it up.

"In this way, the lion was finally healed. It continued to move forward in the woods. At this time, an elderly old woman was chopping and gathering firewood in the woods; she saw the lion at a glance, and fell to the ground in fright. As soon as it blew, her clothes, skirt, and shirt were turned over to her shoulders. The lion saw it and ran over sympathetically to see if she was injured. Later, when he saw her "unknown place", he said: "'Oh, poor woman, who hurt you?' "Before he stopped speaking, he saw a fox, so he called to the fox and said: "'Brother Fox, ah, ah, ah, come and see what's going on!'

"When the fox approached, the lion said again: "'Brother, old friend, someone injured this old lady between her legs, and it was very bad. You see, the wound is huge, from the anus to the navel, there are at least four or even five "forks" Half-length①. It must have been done with an axe, and I suspect it has been long since. But, to keep the flies from settling on it, please drive them away well, inside and out. You have one and another Long and great tail; shake it, my friend, shake it well, please, wait till I get some moss to put her on, for we need each other's help, each other's help. You catch the flies, My friend, wag your tail well, this wound needs to be moved more, otherwise it will be sad. So you have to wag well, my little boy, shake it! God gave you a good tail, thick and thick Long, shake it well, don't be impatient. A good hand to catch flies, or keep swinging the fly whisk, so that no flies land on it. Shake it, little guy, shake it, my little boy I won't waste any more time, I'll be back soon.'

"So he went to find the moss, and he was quite far away, still calling to the fox: ① Latin: "Friar Luban's work "Food and Drink for Begging Monks"." ② Biaiwo Forest: Bier Forest, see Chapter 21 of the first part. ③ It is said that the leaves of yarrow have a miraculous effect on wounds. ① In the south of France, each "fork" is equivalent to 24 centimeters, and five and a half forks are about 1 meter and 30 centimeters. "'Shake it, boy; shake it, shake it well, don't worry, my boy. I'll call you Don Pedro de Castille's fan shaker. Shake it, Just shake it and don't worry about anything else.'

"The hapless fox was rocking as hard as he could, back and forth, inside and out, until the old woman was pissed and stinks. Poor fox was in so much pain, he didn't know which way to turn to avoid the old woman's farting Scent. When it was spinning, it saw another hole behind it, which was not as big as the hole it used to drive away flies, but the strange and unpleasant smell came from there. "At last the lion finally came back. It brought more than eighteen bundles of moss. It used a stick it brought to stuff the wound with moss. It filled sixteen and a half bundles. said in surprise: "'My man! The wound is deep; two cartloads of moss could fill it.' "But the fox said: "'Hey, Lion, old friend, I beg you, don't put all the moss in; keep some, because there's a smaller hole down here, and it stinks unbearably. I'm going to stink, it stinks kill.' "So, you can't let the flies land on the city wall, you need to hire some people to drive them away." Then Paguguay said: "How do you know that women's things here are so cheap? Because there are a lot of pure and chaste women in the city." "Et ubi prenus?" said Panurge, "I tell you, this is not my prejudice, but the absolute truth. I am not bragging, since I came here, I have done four hundred and one There are seventeen (I have only been here for nine days). Just this morning, I met a man carrying a bag like the one in Aesop's fables, containing at most two But two or three-year-old girls, one in the front and one in the back. He begged me to help him, but I told him that I have more testicles than my money. Later, I asked him, "My friend, what are you doing?" Are the two little girls still virgins?" He replied: "Brother, I have been carrying them like this for two years. The one in front, because I have been looking at her, may still be a virgin in my opinion, but I don't want to prove my words." Really put your finger in the fire and bet.As for the one behind me, I will definitely not guarantee it. '" "It's wonderful," said Paiguguet, "you're such an interesting company; I want you to wear the same clothes as mine." So according to the popular style at that time, he was dressed up very beautifully, with only the crotch of the trousers. Panuzhi must be three feet long, and it must be square, not round.After it's done, it's pleasing to the eye.Banu always said that others don't know the benefits and convenience of wearing big crotch, but one day they will know, because everything can only be thought of when it is needed. He said: "God bless the person whose life was saved by the long crotch! God bless the person who wears the long crotch and consumes 160,009 'Eggs' in one day! God bless the person who relies on the long crotch to save the whole city from starvation By God, when I have time, I'm going to write a book called "The Benefits of Long Crotches." ② Don Peter de Castile: It may refer to the king of Spain in the 14th century, "Peter the Cruel". ① Latin: "Where can I find it?" ② There is also here on the first edition: "Just the women in the church who kissed the statue of Jesus so much that they wanted to eat it are enough." It means female monks. ③ Aesop has a fable called "Jupiter and the Saddlebacker", which says that a person can see his own faults in the back pocket of his saddlebags, so he can't see them, and the front pocket holds other people's faults, so he only sees others' faults. it is good. ① means to take him in. ② The author mentioned the titles of "The Dignity of the Crotch" and "The Benefits of the Crotch" more than once in the works, both in the author's preface of the first part and in the eighth chapter. Sure enough, he wrote a big, thick book, with illustrations, but, as far as I know, it hasn't been printed yet.