Chapter 75 Chapter Fourteen

Banuj narrates how he escaped from the Turks The verdict of Paiguguay was immediately known to all, and was printed in great numbers, and recorded in the annals of the court, from which it was said: "Solomon's occasional weaning of a child to his mother was far less sublime and wise in this matter than that of the good Pagoda. We are truly blessed to have him in our country." Therefore, everyone wanted to invite him to be the Prime Minister and the Chief Justice; but he refused, and thanked them politely. He said: "This kind of position requires a great spirit of service. Due to the corruption of people, it is difficult for the person who performs the role to be clean. I believe that if the vacant position of an angel is not filled by people, it will be a waste of time." Thirty-seven fifty years, we will not reach the final judgment, and the speculation of ancient Sanus will not be realized; ③ I can tell you in advance. However, if you have a few 'muyi' good wine, I will be happy to accept it. "

Of course they did so with great joy, and brought him the best wine in the town, and Paguguet drank it to his heart's content; but so did poor Panurge, who was so dry and thin that he was alive. Like a smoked fish, as quick as a skinny cat.When he had just finished drinking a large bowl full of wine, someone criticized him: "It's so pretty, my friend! You drink so wildly." "Nothing!" replied Banurge, "I'm just a man in Paris who doesn't drink as much as a canary, and if I don't whack my tail as I would a sparrow, I'll have a drink." I can't take a sip. Ah, my friend, if I could rise as well as I can down, I would have flown over the moon with Ambedocles long ago. But I don't know why: this The wine is good, full-bodied and delicious, but the more I drink, the thirstier I feel. I think the shadow of His Majesty Paguguay makes a man thirsty, as the moon makes a man cold."

The people around laughed, and Paiguguai saw it and asked: "Banu Ri, what are you laughing at?" Banuge said: "My lord, I am telling them why those devils in Turkey do not drink a drop of wine. Even if there is nothing bad in Muhammad's teachings, I will not believe in his teachings." "Well," said Paiguguet, "tell me how you escaped from them." "My lord, speak to God," said Panurge, "I want to tell you everything. "Those thugs in Turkey forked me up like a rabbit and greased me like a rabbit, because I was so thin that my flesh would not taste good without grease; they were going to roast me alive like that. He ① See "Old Testament? 1 Kings" Chapter 3, Sections 16-28, the story of Solomon walking with wisdom.

② Some theologians say that God created man to fill the gap left by the angels who were tempted by Lucifer to rebel against God. ③ Gusanus: the Italian cardinal Nicola de Gusa, who predicted in 1452 that the end of the world would come on the thirty-fourth "jubile" after the birth of Jesus (from 13 From four or three years, every fifty years is a "jubile"), and he calculated that the flood in the Bible also occurred in the thirty-fourth "fifty years" from the beginning of human beings.According to his calculation, mankind should encounter the end of the world before 1734.

① Umbedocles: Sicilian Agrigenti (now known as Girgenti) philosopher in the fifth century BC. According to mythology, he rushed into Mount Etna to commit suicide, and was blown to the moon by the volcanic smoke. Ica Romenipos met him there. ② At that time, some people believed that the light of the moon and stars could make people catch a cold. While we were baking, I prayed for the blessing of the gods, and at the same time I was thinking of Saint Laurent, and I hoped that God would save me from this disaster.Sure enough, a strange thing happened; because, I was praying to God with all my heart, crying out in my mouth: 'Lord, God, help me!Lord God, save me!Lord God, save me from this disaster, these bastards are keeping me here because I defend your teachings! ’ Strange to say, the man who roasted me fell asleep as if by divine instruction, or as when Malguri cunningly put Argus with the hundred eyes to sleep. .

"I felt that he was not turning his iron fork to roast me. I looked at him and saw that he had fallen asleep. So I took the unburned end of a piece of wood between my teeth, and with all my strength, I moved towards the roast. Throw it over my man's lap, and then I take another bite, and throw it under a camp bed, right by the fire, with the straw mattress of the gentleman who roasted me right on it. "The fire immediately took the grass, from the grass to the bed, and from the bed to the floor, which was made of pine boards in a pattern like a lamp holder. But the best thing was that I threw it on the thigh of the bad thing that roasted me The firewood from the fire burned his genitals at once, and then his testicles. His place was so dirty that he never felt anything until dawn. Now he was like a muddled dog. He got up like a goat and yelled desperately at the window: 'Dal baroth, dal baroth!' ③ meaning: 'Fire, fire!' He turned around and ran towards me, intending to throw me whole into the window. In the fire, he cut the rope that bound my hands, and he was cutting the rope that bound my two feet.

"At this time, the owner of the house was walking on the street with several officials and scholars. He heard the sound of calling for fire, and smelled the smoke from the street, so he flew back to put out the fire and wanted to rescue the family members. property. "As soon as he got home, he pulled out the iron fork that was forking me, and killed the man who roasted me in one fell swoop. Of course, it was because he couldn't control himself, or for other reasons, I saw him with a fork. The man's navel, near the right rib, pierced his third lobe of liver①, lifted it up, pierced the diaphragm, and passed through the heart, from the shoulder, spine and right shoulder blade, The iron fork was pulled out.

"Of course, when he took the iron fork out of me, I fell down beside the fire on the ground. This fall caused me some injuries, but it was not serious, because I had been painted layer by layer. Oil, less weight for my fall. "Then I saw the Turk, despairing, for the house had burned beyond repair, and all his possessions had been destroyed, and he was mad with rage, shouting Grigos, Astarus ③, La Barrousse ④ and Gribois ⑤, shouted nine times in a row. "I was frightened to death when I saw him shouting like that. If the devil really comes to take this madman, will he take me too? I'm already half-baked by them, and the oil on my body is the cause of my pain." , because the ghosts there are the most oily, this, you are in the debate book De bossutis et contrafactis pro Magistros nostros ⑧① Saint Laurent: The famous Catholic saint of the third century, he was burned at the stake.

② Marguri: Mercury, the god of eloquence and business in Roman mythology, the son of Jupiter. ③ Turkish, see text for meaning. ① Hippocrates said that the human liver is divided into five leaves. ② "Grilgoth" (Grilgoth) comes from griller (roasting, baking), and here refers to the ghosts and gods who manage the fire. ③ "Astarost" comes from haster (roast), and Hasteret (cook's name) also comes from the same source. Here it refers to the fire god and ghost. ④ "Rappallus" comes from rapal (carnivorous bird), here refers to the god of fire. ⑤ "Gribouillis" (Gribouillis): also refers to the fire god and ghost.

⑥ Yang Brigus: Neo-Platonist philosopher in the fourth century. ⑦ Mulmaut: It may refer to Johannus Mulmaut, a humanist scholar in Minster in the early 16th century, but neither of their works are related to this book. ⑧ Latin: "In defense of the deformity and disability of our master", without this title, it is said that the author may be a hunchback or a disabled person. Authoritative arguments can be found here.So I, crossing myself, cried: 'Agyosathanatos, ho Theos! ' As a result, no one came in. "The ugly Turk, seeing this, wanted to pierce his own heart with my iron fork, and die. Sure enough, he aimed the fork at his own chest, but as the fork was not sharp enough to penetrate, he I stabbed in with all my strength, but still couldn't get in.

"So I went up to him and said to him: "'Missaire Bougrino, you are wasting your time here, because then you will never die; at most, you will be wounded, or fall into the hands of the surgeon, and suffer for life; but if you agree, I will die at once. Can kill you and make you feel nothing, trust me, I've killed a lot of people this way, and they've all been happy.' "'Alas! my friend,' he said to me, 'I beg you! If it is possible to do so, I will give you my purse, here, take, there are six hundred seraphs in it , and a few diamonds and a few gemstones that are not at all faulty.'” "Where are you now?" Abby Simon asked. "My St. John!" said Panurge, "if he exists, he is far away now; where is the snow in winter? This was the preoccupation of the Parisian poet Villon. " "Pray finish," said Paguguay, "and let us know what happened to that Turk afterwards." "To tell you the truth," said Panurge, "I won't tell a lie. I took a half-burnt pair of trousers and tied him up, and then tied his hands and feet firmly together with my rope, and bound him together. He couldn't even move; then he used a fork to go in through his throat, and hung him up on the two big iron hooks for the axe; The rich man was roasting there like a carp on the stove. Then I took his purse, another javelin on the shelf, and ran. God knows, I have a smell on my shoulder. What a bad smell of mutton! "After I ran to the street, I saw many people bringing water to put out the fire. They saw that I was almost cooked, and of course they felt sorry for me, so they poured all the water on me and poured it on me. It made me very happy, and was really good for me; then, I was given something to eat, but I didn't eat it, because all they gave was water, as was their custom. "Besides, they didn't do anything to me, except a little bad guy with horns in the front and a hunchback in the back, who sneaked up to nibble the oil on me, and I stabbed a few dronos on his hand hard, and he Never again. There was also a young Corinthian woman who brought me a pot of molasseroca, candied in their way. But she stared My headless thing, it was retracted when it was roasted, and it was only as long as the knee. However, you know that this roasting completely cured a kind of sciatic rheumatism that I had been suffering from for more than seven years. And it was the side that let me cook on the fire when the man who roasted me was asleep. ① Greek: "God is holy and eternal." It was later used as a spell to drive away demons. ② Lombardian dialect in northern Italy: "Silly sir, silly guy." ③ The original text is "Master Barber". At that time, the master barber was also a surgeon. ④ "Seraphim": the name of gold coins in the Middle East (referring to Persia or Egypt). ⑤ A refrain in the poem "Ballads of Ancient Women" by the poet Villon. ⑥ Villon (1431-489): French poet, born in Paris. ① In Toulouse dialect, it means to stab a few times. ② Moleluojia fruit: a fruit called "Ammole" tree in Egypt, and it is also said to be a fruit produced in India. "They just looked at me. The fire started. You don't have to ask how it started. Anyway, it burned more than 2,000 houses. The fire was extremely big. One of the people in the crowd saw it and called Get up: 'Muhammad's belly①! The whole city is on fire, and we are still playing around here!' Then they ran home separately. "As for me, I ran along the road from the city gate until I came to a small mound nearby, and then I looked back like Rod's wife did. I saw the whole city was burning. I'm so happy, I'm so happy that I'm about to come out; but, the retribution I got is not small." "What happened next?" asked Paiguguet. "Afterwards," said Panurge, "when I looked at the fire with satisfaction, I said with complacency: 'Ah, poor lice, ah, poor little mice! You are going to have a miserable year. It’s winter, and the fire has burned your warehouses down!” At that time, more than 600, no, 1,311 dogs, big and small, ran out of the city together. They also escaped from the fire. They smelled my half-cooked meat, and they ran towards me with all their strength. If my kind guardian angel had not given me a timely reminder to deal with the teeth, Those dogs would have devoured me long ago." Paiguguet said, "Why are you afraid of biting? Isn't your rheumatism cured?" "How can you be so ignorant!" Panurge replied, "Is there anything more painful than a dog biting your thigh? But suddenly, I thought of the oil on my body, and I took it off and threw it at them." past. Those dogs only cared about snatching and snatching, and then there was a burst of biting.In this way, I finally get out, let them go as hard as they can.In this way, I finally escaped safely and happily. Fortunately, I was roasted. Long live the punishment of roasting! " ① It was changed by the author from a curse word "God's belly!" ② See the story of God destroying Sodom and Gomorrah in Chapter 19 of "Old Testament Genesis". ③ The original Pasques de soles!It's a curse word.