Chapter 15 Bathhouse humiliation part two

Let me be clear, this is not my first shower.That experience left me with painful memories!Like all decent working girls, my mother went to her bath every Sunday.When I first came into town from the country, she took me to the bathhouse to help me get a little dirt off my body. To save money, we brought our own bath towels and soap.It was this bar of soap that caused a tragedy. If we had bought the kind of soap that bathhouses sell: like little pieces of pink candy that float on water, the tragedy would not have happened. My mother and I entered the bathhouse together and asked for a bath.Facing the scrutiny of the bathhouse maid, my mother replied naturally:

"I am for my big girl, she has never been to the bathhouse in Paris, I will accompany her!" As soon as I walked into the bathroom, my mother took the opportunity to take off her clothes and take a shower with me. But at this moment, the bar of Marseille soap sank to the bottom of the tub.I was only a novice in the face of such vicissitudes, and my foot slipped on the soap, and I had only time to hold on to a rope so as not to fall.Unfortunately, at the other end of that rope was the bell for the bathmaid! By this time, she had already half-opened the bathroom door and asked what was the matter.Mother stays there like a salt sculpture!She replied with the last bit of saliva: nothing.Needless to say, for mothers, bathing is out of the question.

She started swearing at me with a steady stream of swear words, making my little place called my heart ache! I humiliated her!She never dared to go out again. If someone in the neighborhood knew that she was saving money like this, how embarrassing she was! "Idiot, little bastard, bumpkin..." Needless to say anything else! At last she gave me six sous to tip, left me standing there bewildered, and said: "Go, figure it out yourself, fool!" If only she could understand my poor heart!She was never really my mother, and I, the lonely little one, loved her as genuinely as I could, like a poor beaten puppy licking his master's hand.

I am very sensitive and submissive, while my mother, who is still very young, has become hard-hearted! I never dared to say the word to her: "Mom." Sometimes we go to the house of mothers and girlfriends, and if they happen to have kids, I watch their mothers hug them, kiss them, caress them!I thought I wasn't good enough for all of this. When I heard them calling "Dear Mama", it felt like my heart was going to break.I was so embarrassed, flushed, and looked like I had made a mistake, that I dared not look at my mother.In fact, sometimes, I feel that she is not so indifferent.

Maybe, instead of just thinking and longing in my heart, I should also act, climb onto her lap, and hug her! But, I can't.Because, she would immediately sneer at me, her words made me feel cold all over, and she would not think how sad I was, just a caring look could make me cry! What is the second part of love like? (1) In the morning, around six o'clock, Eva woke me up and said, "Come on, Alice, come with me, and I'll open you up." Sleepily, I followed her into the fat Italian's room on the same floor. She ignored me, got into the bed and leaned against the man, and I, in a daze, sat down on the chair.

I haven't eaten a thing since noon yesterday, and hunger has brought me wide awake.Looking around, I saw that Eva was letting the man mess around, and there was a big sausage and a liter of red wine on the table. I didn't even hesitate for a second, and immediately started, concentrating on stuffing this delicious sausage into my mouth.As for the drama before me, it did not surprise me very much.Although this is the first time I have seen people having sex! Think about it, before, just listening to the sound made me feel like I was on fire! Now, let me look at it, but there is only one thing that interests me: sausage and red wine! I don’t think it is beautiful, nor does it ugly.It just leaves me cold.

After they finished their gymnastics, Eva introduced me to her friends, and we all ate together.Then she said to me: "That alone won't do! You know, Alice, you've got to have your buds opened, you've got to get over here sooner or later, and, besides, it's a handicap in life to keep this! Let's go out and find someone for you, and take the opportunity Find a job too." I know very well that I have to call here, sooner or later! ... She made me clean up - as she called it - my "little bunny," and that's all she could do!I don't have a shirt and neither does she.That's how we fit together.I was wearing a coat-like coat of black wool which my mother had remade from one of M. Gaston's dresses!The shoes were buckle booties, pointed toes, and were still a size forty, not thirty-six.

I use curlers to make my hair look beautiful, but we don't have hats.When we walked out the door, it was snowing outside, and it was freezing cold... It didn't take long before we showed a poor and pitiful look! There is no powder on the face, the nose is red, just like this, I have to find an attractive man!Eva said: "Let's go to the Great Forest. There are more people to choose from. It's best to find an older person to do it! They are gentler and more skilled. Maybe they will buy us a cup of coffee with cream!" She thought this would be our only chance to fill our stomachs, but how long?

And so we walked up and down the boulevard de Strasbourg, drenched and shivering, and we would do anything we wanted at such times!Suddenly, there was despair in my heart, and there was also an inexplicable fear! Along the way, we walked into three dance halls and recommended ourselves as nude dancers. The first one answered us that the cabaret had started and they didn't need people anymore. The second family thought we were too short! In the last dance hall, we were made to take off our clothes.Thinking about it, it was natural, but we escaped like thieves, because we suddenly remembered that neither of us was wearing a shirt.

We were back on the Great Boulevard, both dejected.My girlfriend tried to cheer me up.She, she doesn't care! She's sure to get a piece of sausage, or a cheese, and a glass of wine every morning at the Italian, but what about me? Finally, a man of about forty years of age came towards us. He was of medium build, very pale, wearing a tall hat and a beautiful Lavarire tie. He greeted us kindly, and the first thing he said was to invite us to drink hot chocolate and eat croissants. We walked into the first cafe closest to us. Life seemed to be wonderful all of a sudden, we were flooded by a warm current, I no longer felt cold and wet feet, I forgot that there was a road a few meters away, rain and snow... and tomorrow... forever tomorrow!

My girlfriend was talking in low tones with the new man, who now and then gave me soft glances.I don't think he's annoying, I heard he's an artist, a clown.These days, he lives alone and his wife goes on tour. In the end, Eva left us both.He talked to me kindly and asked me if I was willing to go to his house. I always replied blankly: "Yes." Tears filled my eyes and my chest was full of despair.The only thing I longed for: a place to warm my feet.I think of my shoes, each with a hole the size of a gold coin under the sole. For a long time, I will never forget that scene: I climbed to the sixth floor, the door opened, and the smell of barbecue came out of my nostrils! The kitchen door was open, and a red-faced cook could be seen.That speaks louder than any sweet talk to me, I'm smitten! However, everything that was comfortable made my tears more turbulent, and I felt even more pitiful.Why can't I also have a home of my own? Fifteen is hungry and selfish, thinking everything will come to you by itself. I tiptoed through the door. He quickly had my shoes off and led me into the bathroom.I couldn't believe my eyes! I took a warm, hot shower, and he put a big bathrobe on me... I was empty in it with my forty kilograms, but it was so comfortable... so comfortable! Then we sat in the kitchen, talking and waiting for dinner.He told me about his situation, that he has a fifteen-year-old son, and I felt an immediate sense of trust in him.He's not very obnoxious, doesn't ask me anything, doesn't touch me! Maybe, he thought about his children, and if his children were in the same situation, if someone gave his children some warmth, the father would be very relieved. He showed me his beautiful sequined costumes, and then he played the guitar. I still remember the song he sang for me.We both ended up singing together: The moonlight is charming, Because, tonight, she heard a dream song And words of hope! She seemed to be saying to them: hurry up, lover, like a smile soaring in the blue sky