Chapter 10 Old age - 4

"But……" "But?" "I believe in horse farms." "Ah, that's it." I said a word in my heart, but Satake had no expression on his face, as if he didn't hear it. "I never believed him about the magazine. He asked me to pay fifty yuan, which is ridiculous. He just wanted to have a good time. He didn't have the slightest sincerity. You may not know it, the day after tomorrow Baba and I, and a young writer named Osamu Dazai introduced by Baba’s senior in the music school, the three of us are going to your dormitory. It seems that you are going to decide the final stage of the magazine’s plan at your place—— How about it. Shall we try our best to look disinterested and pour cold water on the discussion? No matter how good the magazine is, the society will not look down on us. No matter how good the magazine is, it will definitely be in the magazine It was interrupted in the middle. It didn’t matter if I wasn’t Beardsley, I just worked hard to paint, then sold it at a high price, and used that money to play with it. That’s enough.”

When we finished speaking, we had already walked to the front of the bobcat's cage.The lynx, with bright blue eyes, arched its back and watched us without moving.Satake stretched out his hand silently, and twisted the ash from the cigarette butt on Bobcat's nose.That gesture was as natural as a rock. Triple Dragon Gate Not far ahead, there is a two-dollar salamander. "I always feel——this magazine sounds a little too ridiculous." "No, it's just an ordinary booklet." "Don't go back so fast. I've heard about you a lot, so I know you well. I heard that you're going to make a magazine that defeats Gide and Valély, right?"

"Are you here to laugh at me?" I left and went downstairs for a while, and Baba and Dazai seemed to have already started talking.I brought the tea set from downstairs and came in. I saw the horse farm sitting in the corner, leaning his head on the table, and the man named Dazai was sitting on the diagonal line of the horse farm, with his back against the wall. Mao's legs were stretched forward, both of them seemed to be falling asleep with half-closed eyes, and they spoke slowly, but between the corners of their eyes and the fragments of words were burning with anger and murder like a snake's tongue. There was a blaze of fire, and there was a sinister atmosphere in the air that even I could easily detect.Satake lay beside Dazai for a long time, looking bored, rolling his eyes around with a cigarette in his mouth.The situation was not optimistic from the beginning.That morning, before I woke up, the racecourse raided the room where I was staying.Today he is meticulously dressed in his school uniform, with a bulging yellow raincoat on top.The raincoat was drenched, but he didn't take it off, and walked around the room anxiously, talking to himself as he walked,

"Hey, hey. Get up. I seem to be suffering from a nervous breakdown. It's raining so hard, I'm going to go crazy later. Just thinking about pirates can make me lose weight. Hey, get up. Just now I just met a man named Osamu Dazai, who was introduced by a senior at my school because he said that he wrote very good novels—everything must be fate. I have already asked him to join us. Listen to me , Dazai is a horrible, disgusting guy. That's right. He's really, really annoying. This is the feeling of disgust. I seem to have a physical repulsion with that kind of person. His It's a bald head. And I'm telling you, it's a bald head with a lot of meaning. That's a bad interest. Yes, that's right. That guy's whole body must have come from his interest. Are all novelists like that ?Did they all forget thinking and pedantry and enthusiasm and all. That's a downright popular writer. That big black and shiny face, nose,—I'm at Rainier 50 I’ve seen that kind of nose in my novels. It’s an extremely dangerous nose. Fortunately, there are deep wrinkles on both sides of the nose, otherwise the bulbous nose would almost fall off. Really. Rainier can really write. Eyebrows It is thick, short and completely black, so thick that it can almost cover the two shrinking eyes. The forehead is extremely narrow, and two horizontal wrinkles are clearly carved on it, which is simply horrible. His neck Very thick, the hairline gives a very bad sense of thickness, and I also saw three red acne marks under his chin. According to my visual inspection, he is five feet seven inches tall and weighs fifteen 51. The socks are eleven coins. 52. He is definitely under thirty. Oh, I forgot to mention one very important thing. Let’s take a look at the appearance of this kind of person. But, these are all fakes. They are all fake. A big liar. They are all fake. Yeah. Mottled stubble all over the place. No, there's no way the guy has any stubble. Not anyway. It's a deliberate beard. Ah, who the hell am I talking about! You see. If I don't explain one by one that I'm doing this and that, I can't even move a finger and cough. How annoying! That guy's real face is a face without eyes, mouth, or eyebrows. Face monster. Draw eyebrows, glue eyes and nose, and act like nothing happened. And I'll tell you, he also considers that his specialty. Tsk! When I first saw him, that feeling It's like being licked on the face by the tongue of konjac. Thinking about it carefully, the companions we recruited are an incredible lineup. Satake, Dazai, Sano Jiro, Baba, haha, these four people, even if they don't open their mouths Standing there in a row is also unprecedented. Yes! I must try it. Everything is destined. Isn't it fun to have annoying companions. I will spend the whole year of my life this year, All fate bet on LePirate. Be a beggar or Byron 53. God give me fivePenny 54.Teach Satake those plots to eat shit! "The tone dropped suddenly, "Hey, get up, go and open the window. Everyone will be here soon. Today I want to talk about pirates here."

I was also flustered by the excitement of the horse farm. I kicked off the quilt and got up, and the two people of the horse farm clattered open the decayed window.Outside the window, every roof on Hongo Street was covered with a layer of white mist in the rain. At noon Satake came.I didn't see a raincoat or a hat. I was only wearing a pair of velvet trousers and a light blue jacket. My face was soaked by the rain, and my cheeks glowed with an incredible blue light like the moon.The luminous bug didn't even greet us, and lay limp on the corner of the room as if it had melted. "Forgive me. I'm so tired"

Immediately afterwards, Dazai opened the door and appeared calmly.I glanced at him, then quickly looked away for a second time.This is really bad.His appearance is exactly the same as the bad side of the good and bad images I imagined based on the description of the horse farm.And what's even worse is that Dazai's attire at that time was exactly in line with the one that Baba always hated and hated the most.The gorgeous Oshima floral jacket is tied with a whole twist-dyed kimono belt, a peaked cap with thick checkered lines, and traces of rain soaking can be faintly seen on the edge of light yellow silk trousers.He lifted his trousers slightly and sat down, staring indifferently at the scenery outside the window.

"It's raining on the street 55." He finished with a thin and high voice like a girl's, turned his turbid red eyes into a line, and wrinkled his face to smile at us.I ran out of the room and went downstairs to serve tea.By the time I returned to the room with the tea set and kettle, Baba and Dazai had already started arguing. Dazai put his hands behind his bald head, "It doesn't matter how you say it. Do you really want to do it?" "what?" "Magazine. You can do it together if you really want to." "What the hell are you here for?"

"Well, it was blown by the wind." "Before I said it, I don't want to hear sermons, epigrams, jokes, and your frivolous jokes." "Then I'm surprised, why did you call me here?" "Are you sure to come whenever you are called?" "That's right. Because I told myself otherwise." "The duty of human existence. This matter is paramount. Isn't it?" "Whatever you want." "Oh, you're pretty good at talking. What a shame. 'Ah, I'm sorry. I don't want to be your partner!' If I say that, you'll immediately make us a laughing stock. I can't stand it."

"You and I have been a laughing stock from the very beginning. It's neither being used as a laughing stock nor becoming someone's laughing stock." "I'm here (private は在る(. Lifting my big testicles, 'Come on, let's see how you will pay me for this thing.') That's what you say. It's really nerve-wracking." "Maybe I'm saying this a bit too much, I think what you say is really wrong. Are you abnormal? - I always feel that you probably only know the biography of the artist, but you don't understand the content of the artist's work at all. "

"Are you blaming? Or is your research published? Are you trying to say it's the answer and ask us to give you a score?" "——It's slander." "Then let me tell you, it's my trait that is wrong with the bull's head and the horse's mouth. This is a very rare trait." "A signboard with a bull's head that doesn't match a horse's mouth." "This involves the bankruptcy of doubts. Ah, please forgive me. I don't like talking about cross talk." "You don't seem to know the heart-piercing sadness of watching the works you cultivated by yourself on the market. You don't know the emptiness after being enshrined to the fox fairy. You just got into a torii of the shrine56. .”

"Tsk! I'm preaching again. - I haven't read your novel, but I think if you take away lyrics57, wit58, humor59, epigram60 and pose61, what you write must be a bad novel with nothing in it .I can't feel the spirit in you, only the sophistication. I can't feel the temperament of an artist, but only the stomach of a human being." "I know. But I have to survive. I even think that humiliating others is a kind of artist's work. What I'm thinking about now is life. I don't write novels because of interest. If I have If I have enough status to write just for fun, then I will not write anything at all in the first place. As long as I pick up the pen, I know I can write well. Is it worth digging out and writing? I will look at many things and think calmly, forget it, forget it, there is no need to write everything out. In the end, I will do nothing.” "Since you have this kind of mood, why do you still say you want to publish a magazine with us?" "Do you want to study me this time? Because I want to be angry. Any reason is fine, I just want to shout." "Ah, then I understand. It means that you want to hold the shield to improve your image. But——ah, I can't even look at it." "I like you very much. I haven't taken my own shield yet. It's all borrowed from others. No matter how shabby it is, it's better to have a special shield for myself."