Chapter 16 chapter Ten

It is also strange that Calamity likes to choose unsuitable or ordinary faces to express himself.That summer, it chose Elsa's face.That is a very beautiful face.If you will, it would be more accurate to say it is a charming face.She, too, had a peculiar, expressive, all-around smile, the kind that a slightly silly person has. I soon saw what that smile did to my father.When we were supposed to "suddenly meet Elsa and Cyril, I asked her to use this smile as much as possible. I said to her: "When you hear me and my father coming, don't say anything but smile . "So I found my father scowling when he heard this loud laugh. The role of director didn't excite me. I never gave it away because when we saw Cyril and Elsa together , when we publicly displayed a love relationship (a relationship that, though fake, was pretended so much that it was impossible not to think it was real), our faces turned pale. The blood on his face, the blood on mine. All bleeding, all drawn away by this calm willingness to suffer more than the pain. Cyril, Cyril leaning over Elsa... This scene makes me sad. Me and him, Al Sha arranged the scene together without knowing its power. Words are superficial, elastic, and when I saw Cyril's face, the soft brown neck, leaning down towards Elsa's meeting face I would have given anything to keep this scene from happening. I forgot that it was I who asked them to do so.

Outside of these events, Anna's trust, tenderness -- I have trouble using the word -- and happiness pervaded everyday life.She was absorbed in our care, far from being aware of our rough passions and my base methods.I have indeed never seen her come closer to happiness than at this moment.I had counted on her indifference and arrogance to make her instinctively rule out any strategy to tie my father more tightly, and in fact rule out all coquettish tricks except beauty, intelligence, and tenderness.I slowly felt sorry for her.Pity is a delightful emotion, as inspiring as military music, and I can hardly be blamed for it.

One fine morning, the waitress brought me with great excitement a note from Elsa, which said: "Everything is done, please come!" It gave me a feeling of impending doom: I Hate all endings.Finally, I found Elsa on the beach.I saw her triumphant expression. "I finally saw your father an hour ago." "What did he tell you?" "He said he regretted the past, that he acted like a rough man. That's true... isn't it?" I think it should be agreed. "Then he said something flattering to me, which he's the only one good at saying... you know, that kind of flat tone, that very low voice, it seemed like it was hard to say that... that tone... ..."

I drew her back from idyllic bliss: "For what purpose?" "Well, aimlessly... But, in the end, he invited me to the village for tea, to prove that I don't hold grudges, that I'm magnanimous and evolved, huh?" My father's point about the evolution of the red-brunette made me happy. "Why are you laughing? Should I go?" I almost answered her that it was none of my business.Then I realized that she saw me as the person responsible for making her scheme work.For no reason, it pissed me off. I feel like I'm being forced to: Don't know, Elsa.It's up to you.Don't keep asking me what you have to do, or people will think I made you..."

"But it's you," she said, "thanks to you..." Her tone of admiration suddenly frightened me. "Go, if you like! But have pity on me, and don't tell me that again!" "But . . . but he must be freed from that woman . . . Cecile! " I hurried away.Let my father do what he wants and let Anna get out of the way.Besides, I want to meet Cyril.I feel that only love can relieve me of this fear I feel. Cyril put his arms around me and took me away without saying a word.With him, everything is powerful, joyful, and therefore easy.After some time, I lay on his bronzed sweaty body, exhausted and as weak as a shipwrecked man.I told him I hated myself.I said this to him with a smile, because I thought of it not with pain, but with pleasant endurance.He didn't take my words seriously.

"It doesn't matter. I love you enough to force you to agree with me. I love you so much..." While I was eating, the rhythm of this sentence kept lingering in my ears: "I love you, I love you so much." Therefore, although I tried my best to recall, I couldn't remember the situation of that meal clearly.Anna wore a dress that day, it was purple, and her eye circles were even the same color as her eyes.My father smiled, looking relaxed: for him, the game was sealed. During dessert he announced that he was going shopping in the village in the afternoon.I secretly laughed in my heart.I'm tired, so let it go.

I have only one wish; to take a bath. At 4 o'clock in the afternoon, I went down to the beach and found my father on the platform, ready to leave for the village.I didn't say anything to him, and I didn't even tell him to be careful. The water was calm and warm, and Anna did not come.While her father was making love to Elsa, she was probably in the room arranging her outfits, drawing.At the end of two hours, feeling the coolness from the fading sun, I climbed onto the terrace, sat down in an easy-chair, and opened a newspaper. At this time, Anna appeared.She came out of the woods.She ran, looking ugly, with her hands clumsily pressed to her body.I suddenly had an ominous feeling; it was an old woman running, and she was going to fall!I have been stunned.She ran towards the garage and disappeared behind the house.So, I suddenly understood, and ran to catch up with her.

She was already in the car with the clutch on.I ran up to her and fell on the car door.With "Anna," I said, "don't go, it's a mistake, it's mine, I'll explain it to you..." Instead of listening to me or looking at me, she leaned over and released the brake. "Anna, we need you." At this time, she stood up, her face changed with pain.She cried, and it dawned on me that I was attacking a living, emotional person, not an object.She must have been a slightly shy little girl at first, then a girl, and then a woman.She is 40 years old and alone.She loves a man.She originally hoped to live happily with him for 10 years, maybe the anniversary, but I... this face, this face, is all my fault.

I was at a loss and leaned against the car door, trembling all over. "You don't need any of them," she murmured. "You don't, and he doesn't." The engine revs up.I was desperate: she couldn't go like this. "Forgive me, I beg you..." "Forgive you for what?" Tears streamed down her face.She didn't seem to realize this, her face was expressionless. "My poor little girl! . . . " She put her hand on my cheek for a moment, then walked away.I watched the car disappear around the corner.I was at a loss, overwhelmed...it all happened so fast.And her face, that face... I heard footsteps behind me: it was my father.He had wiped off Elsa's lipstick and had just removed the pine needles from her dress.I turned around and rushed towards him:

"Bad guy! Bad guy!" I sobbed. "What happened? Is it Ana? Cecile, tell me, Cecile..."