Chapter 6 This marriage is a springboard!

This marriage is a springboard! (1) "I forbid you to see her until I have spoken to Eddie." "Do you still expect me to be lying?" "Shut up! You go, go at once! Get out! Get out!" he shouted, his face showing the expression of madness again.He stopped and said: "When a murderer slits your child's throat, it's okay to defend yourself, and now... well, get out... I hope you both feel someday..." He didn't go any further, and opened the door before Jean-Luc: "go out!" Jean-Luc is gone. 12 The wedding took place a few weeks later.Abel Sarah did not give any dowry, and the only gift he gave to the young couple was a thousand shares in the bank, which he deposited in his daughter's name.In addition, his secretary would remit three thousand francs to Eddie every month.

On the pretext that Laurent Dagerner had died not long ago, he demanded that the wedding be held in the simplest manner.There was a brief service in the church.Eddie was pale and obviously in pain.Mrs. Sarah was weeping under her pink hat.Abel Sara held his face in his hands on the kneeling mat, looking crushed.While the priest was speaking, Jean-Luc saw his father-in-law look up.He was pale, but he looked neither at Eddie nor at Jean-Luc.He has forgotten them.Jean-Luc was once again stunned by his manic focused gaze.Finally, Abel Sara finally bowed his head and buried his face under his hands again.As soon as the wedding was over, after giving his daughter a cold kiss on the forehead, he left.He left the car, and the young couple left Paris for Fontainebleau, where they stayed for a few days.Before setting off, Jean-Luc took time to stay with Dourdan for a while, and he confessed to him alone that although the marriage was over, it did not bring him happiness, but a faint anxiety made him feel anxious. Unpredictable and uncontrollable.

"But I have to do this, I have to do this..." He repeated, "This marriage is a springboard!" Jean-Luc had no recollections of those days at Fontainebleau, save for the cold, rough rain that dripped on the window panes of the Hotel English and a messy bed.In that bed, he often woke up early in the morning, thinking he was still in that shabby room upstairs on Green Island, wondering why this warm woman's body was sleeping next to him. After the death of Laurent Dagener, the house in Vychner was emptied: the family went to the provinces - to a relative of Mathilde's - to stay there until October.So the young couple decided to go there and live there until the baby was born.Every Saturday they went to Lilley, the residence of Sarah's family in the Seine-et-Marne, and stayed there until Monday.Liley was a very pretty house, surrounded by lawns, vineyards, and groves, so that, though it had only a modest garden, it seemed to overlook the whole province.As far as the eye can see, there are only trees and fields.

Sarah came back late on Saturday night and left the next day.It was his regulars, his sycophants: Callicote-Lanquin, Armand Resoul, and others, financiers and politicians.He never said a word to Jean-Luc.At Saturday dinners, Jean-Luc always sat at the back of the table, at the end of the table, between Eddie's former governess and Sarah's secretary. Only the mother-in-law sometimes smiled at him, but secretly, timidly, obviously afraid of breaking Sarah's strict prohibition.Sarah herself spoke very little.No insinuations of indulgence or frivolity were ever tolerated at this table.The diners shouted and laughed together.But he was content to stick out his head and listen to their jokes, with a pensive, almost melancholy expression that struck Jean-Luc deeply.

In the summer evenings, there are no lights here; the light comes from the garden, and it shines brightly on the leaves.Liz Sarah let her lacy long sleeves fall on either side of the plate.Some women will always imprint a certain year and a certain date on their appearance, which must be the most important day in her life, but she seems to have secretly imprinted the imprint of the year 1910-1912.Her beautiful dark eyes, her fair skin, her thin arms, her wrap-like hat, all of which made her face look strange, out of date.She was very gentle, she was delicate and kind, the kindness that only women who have experienced a happy atmosphere have.Her hands are folded on her chest, and her movements are relaxed, natural and charming.When the guests are silent for a moment, you can hear her asking her neighbor in silence, her tone is indeed full of trepidation:

"Mauriac paints the world in such a ruined color, do you think he is justified?...But I, I only look for the bright side of things." She wears a pink shawl around her neck and shoulders, nonchalantly playing with the long horns of the muslin shawl, wrapping her hands and looking at herself through the airy fabric with a soft and charming smile fair fingers. When talking about her family friend Lan Kun who came to Lilei every Sunday, she said: "What an elegant man... He is sensitive like a woman, like an artist, and his heart is so beautiful..." Referring to a woman known for her misbehavior, she said:

"Poor little girl, she is very charming... She has a bad reputation, but she has nothing to say to me. Her life is beyond reproach." And speaking of Armand Resurre, she said: "If you know him as well as I do...he was shamelessly betrayed by a woman he once trusted 100 percent. I've seen him in pain. It's cruel." Her weakness is the belief that all men and women regard her as a confidant and as a friend. "I'm a friend of my daughter's," she had said, adding that she was also a friend of her husband, who never told her or anyone else about his business or his pleasures.she says:

"He never takes action without first consulting me. Without me, he's lost." At Liley she liked to lie in a little lilac and canary-yellow living room with books all over the walls.She was a collector of rare books like no other: she never cut the contents of the large volumes locked in shelves with gold bars. "Beautiful book," she said, narrowing her eyes, "not to be read, but to be smelled like a flower..." On a small table next to her, there was always a book by Shakespeare, a pocket volume bound in gray suede.She never opened the book, but when she went downstairs into the garden she could always be heard calling to her servant in a complaining voice:

"Juliet, bring me gloves and a parasol and my Shakespeare..." At table, during long dinners, Jean-Luc never spoke, but listened and observed attentively. He listened to Calicut Lanquin, and he watched his piercing, beautiful eyes roam the dining room, never stopping.He listened to the famous voice of Lan Kun, which Liz Sarah said: "The minister's voice is as charming as a mermaid, sometimes soft and sweet, sometimes like a bell." How well he used his voice, with its intonations to perfection, as he used his face, his expression, and his beautiful hands, which were also remarkable, slender, nimble, with fingers Slender as a spindle, it bulges slightly when it reaches the knuckles, and then becomes pointed when it reaches the fingers, just like the hands of a magician or illusionist.Sometimes he raised his hand to his mouth, crossed it lightly under his lips, half his face was hidden, and cast a keen, inquiring glance at the guests, but his gaze was so bright and so shifting , so that people can only see its light, but not any of its thoughts.

This marriage is a springboard! (2) He is very disgusted when people talk about numbers and news in the society, but when it comes to ideals and unrealistic fantasies, he is fascinated. He said with a very charming indifference: "We are more explicit, even more blunt..." Then he became very popular with poetry and full of pride. He is so innocent and cute.Sometimes, trying to hide his innocence, he smoked a cigar in a contemplative pose, concentrating like a nursing child, causing people around him to whisper: "The minister is thinking tonight..." But it didn't take long for that to bother him.He smiles, coquettishly, jokingly, reveling in other people's admiration and admiration, blinking excitedly to the left and right, giving sly and knowing eyes, as if thinking:

"Am I funny, huh?... Then nobody's more serious than me, you know?... I'm totally tireless!..." Everyone listened to his words, flattering on the surface, but laughing in their hearts, and then, when he was silent for a moment, all of them spoke at the same time, their voices were high and shrill enough to overwhelm the twenty or so gathered in a small space. The noise of twenty-three people.The female guests are always a little listless, listening silently without saying anything, a vague smile froze on their lips; they folded their hands in front of them, as if leaving all their brilliance to the delicate and beautiful flowers shining in the afterglow of the setting sun. ring. Then it was Armand Resoul's turn to speak.This man was fleshy, with a flushed face, a large nose, but delicate nostrils, very red and thick lips, thick brown hair forming a lock on the forehead, and blood-red ears with large helixes.He spoke slowly, with a hoarse Burgundy accent.He says: "My old estate of a miser peasant..." or "My peasant's prudence".When he spoke of his village, of his house, the utterances became lyrical, and although his speeches were not usually as brilliant as Calicut-Lanquin's, he felt himself a little inferior, But he tries to win him over with cynicism and a sincere peasant tone, but when speaking of his "little piece of land" ("I, too, have a little piece of land," he said), he does so with fervent poetic language. Praising it made Lan Kun frown.The minister leaned over to the female neighbor and said in a low voice: "This honest Armand, when he says he tended ewes as a child, forgets that he tends sheep for fun: his father is a millionaire, the little king of the country. But I, at least I know What is land. I have a rundown house in Belig, where I always vacation. He goes home every four years, that's true, but at election time." There was a faint gleam in Resur's small, deep-set eyes.The two men clearly hated each other, but Resur felt like a good old man who didn't hold a grudge, and Calicut-Lanquin would never believe that his old enemy didn't have some kind of affection for him deep down.They smiled at each other over the roses: "This kind Lan Kun..." "This upright Resur..." However, by the end of June, people were no longer inviting them at the same time.Armand Resurre publicly voiced his disapproval of the Minister in an attempt to destroy Lankun.From that day on, they took turns attending dinners at Sarah's house: one Sunday it was Resur, the next Sunday it was Lanquin. At this moment, the dinner party is over.Jean-Luc went downstairs into the deserted garden.The summer of that year was a veritable summer, it was terribly hot, there was not a trace of wind, and there was not a cloud in the sky.By evening, the sky above the river was ablaze.Jean-Luc walked slowly, full of thoughts.Despite his great efforts, he could not find any work.He thought more than once that his father-in-law had nothing to do with his successive failures.Jean-Luc would be tolerated by Sarah until the time of the child's birth.Fortunately, there was the house in Vychner, which was empty until October, so that they could pass the summer in peace, but what about autumn? ... what should he do?Continue to accept Sarah's money, his handouts, until the day Eddie files for divorce?She already regrets marrying him, but she's still at that stage of her marriage where she's ashamed to feel unlucky and her priority is to "save face".What should he do?How will he live? …It never occurred to him that he could be so excluded, excluded in such a vigilant, unassailable way! . . . in the eyes of all those daily retinues who followed his father-in-law, he was still an insignificant child.He hardly existed in their eyes.They hardly spoke to him except in vague politeness, and he himself remained timid, feeling himself too strange among them to play successfully the part of the half-brother in the family. He walked slowly under the window.He watched people pass behind lighted windows like a lovelorn man looking for the shadow of a woman he could not have.He knew that serious business, real money deals and bribes were only now beginning in earnest, and he was excluded from them.He felt that they were signing an agreement, a treaty there, something important, important, serious, almost dangerous, was happening, he had a premonition, but he didn't know the specific content.He is young and promising, knowing that he has accumulated pride, desire, great ambition and clear and sharp wisdom, but he is powerless! ... All these people, with just a word, can help him realize his ambition and desire for happiness, but they don't know anything about him, and they prefer those puppets who have no soul and are not decent, just like Ka Richter Lanquin took Coutu wherever he went, just like everyone else.He didn't know anything about the circle he was eager to enter, but he could guess that it was a world where everything could be done easily. Those doors could be opened silently without any effort, but they were not opened for him! …They all knew Sarah hated him: so they wouldn't do anything for him! . . . They were all Sarah's benefactors in a way, and they feared him.However, God's gifts often fall on the heads of others around him.Every day, he hears something like this: "You can help so-and-so...he's a bit weak, but he's a nice guy..." or: "Give Duran an honor." "But that's a little rascal." "But he's a friend of so-and-so..." All these transactions are done in the name of friendship, trust, and courteousness, so effortlessly... A word, a smile, a shrug, and some idiot is extolled, and the sneaky one is forgiven, without virtue and incompetence People who can get rich and lucrative idle jobs.Seeing honor and wealth falling like rain on other people's heads, he felt angry, felt unparalleled sadness, and felt a feeling of being plundered wildly.He was horrified to find that the world was turning around him, and that he himself was motionless, and that despite all his efforts, it was a joy in vain.He felt that his life was completely over.There is no pain like the fear of failure.If it has failed, he will accept it bravely.It is not unimportant to be sure of overcoming that defeat.No, he still had the painful hope that someone else was wrong, that he was wrong about himself.However, time flies, youth is gone forever, but he has nothing! ...He has nothing but bread, shelter, and a woman he no longer loves.Upstairs, the lights in Eddie's room came on and then went off.She went to bed.He went upstairs slowly to accompany her. This marriage is a springboard! (3) 13 Children should be born in autumn.It had been agreed that Eddie would give birth at Liray-Sarah's mansion, but one night Eddie was in labor pains, and it was too late, so Jean-Luc decided to call the doctor and nurse to Vychner.He is waiting for them now.He was downstairs alone.Eddie slept in their bedroom, terrified as hell.This shameful fear annoyed him and disturbed him at the same time, and he couldn't help thinking of a piece of advice from fate... When he heard his wife's first groans, when he saw the pale and frightened face, he felt The tenderness for her returned.So he went to her side and took her hand, but she pushed her away, and she whispered hard: "Let go of me! . . . Go away!" She seemed to hate him.He knew that when his position forbade them to live as a normal couple, she stopped loving him... He left her there alone and walked out in silence. It was a breathless October night.This year, summer seems to be unwilling to end like this, and the rain can't bring coolness.No sooner had the rain stopped beating against the zinc rims of the windows than mosquitos could be heard buzzing on the ceiling.A crescent moon shone on the cedar branches pressed against the glass of the window.Jean-Luc came out of the house. He didn't have anyone call Eddie's parents.To make a phone call, you have to walk to a small hotel, which is some distance away.He dared not leave Eddie alone, even just once.In addition, he was worried about the presence of his mother-in-law, afraid that she would be too enthusiastic. He walked slowly up the path around the little grove of lilacs under Eddie's window.The wind carried the smell of gasoline, dust, and marshes.The night was not peaceful, without the stillness of a country night.Every now and then a car passed by with screeching brakes.The long, soft whistle of the train can be heard as it passes by.Jean-Luc moved at the door, listened to Eddie's sigh, and went out again.What a long time! ... His child is about to be born... When a person is still young, when the pressure of life invades from all directions, thinking that a child is about to be born, and that a life comes into the world, this kind of feeling is really mixed Ah Chen... This kind of life, I just started to taste it, I just started to know it, but I have to share it with others, and I have to give it up soon... He felt panic again.There is no joy to be had.Really, how can someone like him, Jean-Luc Gerner, be happy if he has so far been unable to feed his family? ... "But he will be from Sarah's family, he will have everything, a fat little banker ..." In any case, an inexplicable guilt wells up in my heart: this child ... this hostage ... so loved What about Tee? ... Whether she is in pain or not, he doesn't care. He went back into the house and turned off the lights, which seemed to attract all the mosquitoes of Vishina that night... He lit the lantern on the steps so that the doctors and nurses would know where the door was.The light came in through the window, and then the living room, which he knew so well...he could walk blindly with his eyes closed without touching the walls...this armchair was old Daglener's before he died The... that day, he said... what did he say?He always couldn't listen to his father's words, but now those words suddenly turned around and shocked him, making him confused... "You have killed the youth in yourself... Be careful..." Pay attention to what?It is indeed a strange anomaly: at the end of life, and yet so desperately wanting to keep... sacrificing one's life for the possibility of living! ...because he is unhappy.He has nothing.All his hopes were dashed.There is neither love nor unswerving loyalty in my heart. "It's her fault," he thought, looking out the window of Eddie's room, "if she'd figured out sooner..." Suddenly, he heard the sound of a car stopping at the door.He ran to open the door and saw Sarah coming in.he asked: "Why?... You already knew?..." "Do not know what is this?" "The baby is coming soon. I'm waiting for the doctor and nurse." "The baby is about to be born?" Sarah murmured. Jean-Luc turned on the light and looked in surprise at Sarah's haggard face.he asked: "Would you like to see Eddie?" "Is she in pain?" Sarah asked in a low voice. "I don't think so. Not yet..." "Forget it, I... I'll see her later..." He was silent for a moment, then suddenly said: "I'm just passing by, I'm leaving right away." He went to the window and stood there motionless. "Have you had dinner?" asked Jean-Luc. "have supper?" Sarah seemed to wake up from a dream. "I swear no, I didn't eat dinner...I've been super tired all day." He repeated in a low, feeble voice: "Extremely tired." Jean-Luc treats him to the leftovers from dinner. "Honestly, there's nothing to eat, and the servant has gone back. She doesn't live here. But I can warm up the coffee." "I'd love to eat something," Sarah said. Jean-Luc went to the kitchen.When he came back with a cup of black coffee and a piece of cold meat, he found Sarah sitting in the middle of the room with her arms folded on her chest, staring straight ahead of him.Jean-Luc suddenly felt that disaster was approaching.When he thought about it later, he couldn't figure out how he guessed it, but at this moment his thought was: "This person suffered..." This smell of misfortune and destruction, which he experienced around his father when he was very young, has returned...he can call it by its name, just like calling an old and loyal friend . He turned his eyes away so as not to appear to be questioning Sarah, if only inquiringly.He handed him the cup. "I put two sugar cubes. Because the cup is big." "Haven't I been in this house before?" Sarah asked. "No. It's ugly, isn't it?" They heard the sound of a car approaching, this time it was the doctor and nurse delivering the baby.Jean-Luc let them in, and the three of them went upstairs to Eddie's room.She was sleeping on one side of the bed, her face illuminated by a lamp at the head of the bed.There was more exasperation in her expression than pain, and she asked: "Doctor, why didn't you come upstairs at once?" "The doctor just arrived," said Jean-Luc. This marriage is a springboard! (4) "But I heard you talking downstairs." "That's your father," Jean-Luc said in a low voice. "Dad?" Eddie murmured, "Did you notify him in advance?...Is Mommy here?" "She'll be here soon, don't worry..." He tried to fix her messy hair, but she pushed him away again. "Don't touch me! . . . I'm hurting, I'm terrified! I'm terrified," she repeated, gnashing her teeth, "Go away!" The nurse's big feet were wearing cloth shoes, moving silently on the floor. She leaned close to Jean-Luc's ear and whispered: "You'd better, indeed, leave your wife alone..." "She'll be absolutely fine," said the doctor, shrugging his shoulders. "Don't worry." Jean-Luc went downstairs again.Abel Sarah is still where he was.He saw Jean-Luc approaching, and said in the same strange, dissonant voice: "Is she in pain?" "The doctor assures that she will be all right." "Of course. How can it be unsafe? It's a very simple matter. A person's life and death, what could be simpler than this?...Huh?" His voice was suddenly full of fear. "Monsieur, you seem ill?" said Jean-Luc, coming up to him. "May I help you?" Sarah shuddered. "Sick? . . . oh! I'm terribly well. I'm just a little bit tired, I'm exhausted from the day . . . " He was silent for a while: "What did I just say? . . . Yes, exhausting . . . I arrived in Paris early in the morning . . . I met some people, some total bastards, by the way . My boy. I don't think we've ever had such a heart-to-heart conversation. But what I'm telling you today is from my heart. People are mean." He was silent again, and slowly put his hand to his forehead. "I don't want to go home. I want to kiss Eddie. It's too late now. I'm going. I'm not going to see her. You tell her I would have loved to see her." "Aren't you waiting for the baby to be born?" "Child? . . . Ah! Yes . . . " He seemed ready to ask, "Which kid?" "Child? ... Maybe, yes ... I'll wait ... but call the driver. He hasn't had dinner yet. Tell him to go to the village to get something to eat and come back to pick me up in an hour." When Jean-Luc returned to the house, Sarah had turned on the radio, but the volume was very low, almost whispering.The radio belonged to Eddie.In such a messy room, this luxurious little box is startling.A long time has passed.Jean-Luc was smoking.Sarah kept turning the knob of the radio, and a soft whistle filled the hall. The whistle was mixed with foreign words and different music, like whispers, almost inaudible, as if half of it had been disintegrated in the air.Eddie's first screams reached their ears suddenly.Jean-Luc stood up with a pale face.Sarah turned off the radio.There was a silence after the scream.There was only the ticking of a clock, and then another scream, like the howling of an animal. "Nights like this are old," thought Jean-Luc. "Aren't you going to accompany her?" "No. What's the need?" Jean-Luc gritted his teeth. He left the living room anyway, and went up a few flights of stairs, where he pressed himself against the wall in the dark, waiting.Eddie's cry was even scarier and shriller.Jean-Luc had a sudden strong desire to be alone; he watched Sarah's back with hatred through the open door. "What did he come here for... at eleven o'clock in the night, he stopped all business, didn't eat dinner, and ran to kiss his daughter? Anyway, it must be the eve of his suicide?... It can't be, he drank Been drinking. I always suspected he was drinking or something like that. He was too demanding, too sensitive in terms of moral issues and self-discipline. And such people often have ulterior motives." Another horrific scream echoed across the hall.Jean-Luc forgot about Sarah's existence.He remained motionless, gripping the banister of the stairs tightly.Time passed surprisingly slowly.Sarah turned on the radio again and filled the dead room with all the voices of the world.They echo in the darkness like the roar of the sea in a shell. After a while, Jean-Luc pushed the nurse away, walked into the bedroom, and saw the doctor sitting nonchalantly in the armchair by the bed, reading and commenting on a book.The nurse held on to Eddie's hand.Eddie leaned on the bed, thrusting her body forward, terrified, her hair sticking to her sweaty face. "I can't take it anymore," she whispered between two screams. The doctor whispered: "It's fine...be patient, it's nothing..." Jean-Luc did not hear what she was calling.But he felt more at ease.He brought all the things the nurse asked for and walked out.There was darkness and silence again, and the silence grew deeper and deeper between Eddie's screams... and then the sudden, cat-like cry of a baby that will never be forgotten... "It's a boy!" The nurse's voice came from the closed room. Seconds later, Jean-Luc walked in and kissed his wife, but she appeared tense and distrustful under his touch.She said weakly: "I have suffered so much... If I had known... But you. Are you satisfied now? Isn't this what you want?... The inheritance is guaranteed!" The doctor has hurriedly buttoned his coat, said he would be back the next day, and went away.A nurse is more emotionally sensitive, so she ran to find "grandpa".Sarah came in.He kissed his daughter and glanced at the newborn baby.He seemed to be tirelessly looking at this little red life.At last his lips contracted slightly, and he said in a dull voice: "Funny..." With that he went out, and by the time Jean-Luc reached the garden he was already in the car and it was driving away.He thought to himself: "I swear, this man is crazy, or..." He didn't think about it, and walked thoughtfully towards the old house, where a new life had come into the world. 14 The next morning, Jean-Luc called Lily early in the morning.The people there told him that Sarah had come home very late and was still asleep, and that "Madame intends to be in Vychna around ten o'clock."He drank a cup of coffee and read the paper before trudging home, but was halfway there when the hotel owner's son caught up with him on his bicycle and sent him a message on the phone.He read the message: "Come here as soon as possible. A terrible misfortune is upon us. Liz." This marriage is a springboard! (5) In spite of his relentless hustle, he did not make it to Lilei just before noon.Sarah is dead.After answering Jean-Luc's call, Lise went to her husband's room and found him lying on the bed, out of breath.He swallowed two bottles of barbiturates and couldn't wake up. It was the servants who had told all this to Jean-Luc, and they had treated him that day with a special respect and a kindness which he had never enjoyed and which he probably never will have again. Liz Sarah alternately frightens like a fool and sinks into the abyss of despair.She didn't know how to keep her mouth shut, so when Jean-Luc arrived the room was already full.What happened there shocked Jean-Luc so deeply, and it was unforgettable, all those strange faces appeared before the widow, without even pretending to mourn or sympathize, they ran all over the house. To and fro, as if in their own home, searching and demanding the securities which they said were in Sarah's custody, and finally they demanded with a bluster that the door of the dead man's office be opened. Coutu, whom Jean-Luc had often seen coming to Lilei with Lanquin, was among them, wandering about, buzzing like a fat fly on a dead body. .In the evening, when the house was finally cleared and everyone had slipped away, he followed Jean-Luc's ass.This is a man with a fat head and big ears, dressed in black, with a fair complexion like that of a southerner in France, who became even paler after arriving in Paris, with a big brown beard like a collar, and a particularly red mouth Very thick, with two small eyes bright and energetic.He volunteered to help Jean-Luc take all necessary measures, and at eight o'clock brought him to the dining room. There were only two of them left.The table was set, as usual, by the servants, out of custom, with the utmost luxury.Sarah had always loved such extravagance when she was alive...the last bouquet of roses of the season lay on the tablecloth. Qutu ordered the light to be turned on, and said to the servant: "Has the poor gentleman any Armagnac left? . . . You don't mind, my dear friend?" he asked Jean-Luc, turning. Jean-Luc nodded in agreement.After the servant went out, Kutu continued: "The cellars here are truly unrivaled...you won't get much of them...you're really unlucky. But who can predict that? Surely you don't know anything?" "But I'll know," said Jean-Luc with an imperceptible smile. "Sarah doesn't have a close friend, and he seems to be more estranged from you than from anyone else. It's not surprising... But you must want to know how things happened, don't you? Of course, everyone in Paris knows that, some days Since then, people have been waiting for a scandal to be exposed, or a suicide to occur. I will tell you what happened in a few words. I will skip the details of the bank's operations. A last-minute accommodation. Sarah needed money. He rediscounted the promissory notes through his bank, issued by the Villandiere Mining Company in the Moulin de Berge region, both of which belonged to him. The celibacy notes had been extended twice, but they could not be cashed when they came due. Even so, Sarah did not panic. He remembered that his friend and current minister, Calicut Lankun, used to be a director of the company, and the time of his resignation was not too late. Not long... He thought to himself that Lan Kun, who would be involved in the inevitable financial collapse, would settle this matter. But Lan Kun slipped away. Lan Kun flinched. You know, yes He too, at a time like this, things are not easy... really difficult... You, young man, live a life of ease, you and your charming young wife enjoy a perfect love Life... In fact, what a shock it was to her... You never imagine how difficult it is for people in high places!... Now something happened, and Lan Kun was under attack from all sides. He saw了撒拉……那是昨天的事。他犹豫，拖延，最后拒绝了。在这件事中，最悲惨的是，请您相信我的话，兰昆是个诚实的人。他对银行事务从来都是一窍不通的。您想能怎么样呢？……我们又不是万能的神……他对撒拉跟他说的一点也听不明白，担心受连累，心想让撒拉自己去解决好了，他不掺和。他对撒拉非常尊敬。现在您的岳父自杀了，而兰昆是不会这么做的。兰昆更狡猾一些，他知道在巴黎、在一定的范围内存在法律时效问题。对于普通刑事罪，两年。谋杀罪，最多三年……可撒拉这个人，您知道吗，这个人有两个缺点。您不喝点吗？” 让-卢克默默地把杯子伸过去。 “两个缺点……其中一个也是我们都有的，就是虚荣。比从前黎波那的那个箍桶匠还要赶时髦和冒充高雅，您可以满世界去寻找，找不出第二个来。为了吻一下某位公爵夫人的手，为了在自己家里招待宴请大使先生，为了让自己给别人留下某种想法，某种印象……他宁可自杀，也不愿意失去这一切，不愿意看到一些大门在他前面关上。您别弄错了，一个人是很少为失去钱财而自杀的。他更容易为在别人的心目中失去名誉地位而自尽。以前人们把这称作'不名誉'。那就是虚荣。一个人是永远也看不清楚自己的。假如他有勇气承认：'我是个无赖，我是个窃贼！'他就会比别人更坚强，他就会得救。但是一个人如果像个窃贼一样做事，却又要说服自己他的毕生所为就像一个诚实的人，就忍受不了别人改变对他的看法。而后，徒然冒充好汉……有一些感觉，人们从来没有体会过，但会预感到……诉讼，拒绝和你握在一起的手，监狱……” 他仰靠在椅子上，呷了一口陈年白酒。他说起话来十分流畅，动作幅度大而且丰富多样，声音被酒、食物和一种隐秘的满足感温暖过之后，变得浑厚了。 “现在，您想知道钱是怎么去的吗？首先，您回想一下，撒拉严肃、沉默、冷淡，不能容忍在他面前说任何下流或者只是有些轻浮的话。您猜到了什么？” “一个情妇吗？” “才一个？……十个，百个，千个……我的老弟。这个人硬是毁在女人手里的。这是绝无仅有的，我确信无疑！而且空前绝后。但他的财富就是在女人的手里化为乌有的。他喜欢梅· 惠丝1那种丰满的类型。但您要知道没有任何人知道他的这一点。兰昆本人也一点都没预料到。我也被一些事情惊呆了……” 他停了一下，然后低声说道： “我听说巴黎的某一栋房子里几乎只有您岳父慷慨赠送的财物。他的兴趣……” “那么，如果我没理解错的话，他已经一无所有……” “啊，这个吗，我就不知道了，要等清点完财产才知道。但肯定是资不抵债。” “我岳父的死可以免掉所有的诉讼吗？……还会有官司吗？” 库图摊开双手说道： “啊，这个我不知道……那取决于兰昆的能力了。取决于方方面面的事情。可是，至于您，我觉得最明智的做法是放弃继承权。说到这里，有人跟我说，您的岳父送了您一千支银行股票，对吗？……确确实实有一千，对吗？……余下的股票，也就是法律允许他持有的，他已经把它们都收购回去了，归他一个人所有……这同样也非常典型……那是一个小暴君……您必定知道一些事情，嗯？……所有这一切对您来说都非常可怕，您还那么年轻，但也有教育意义，噢！多么……您看见的是没有伪饰的生活，人都是些混……” “昨天晚上，我的岳父就是这么跟我说的。”让-卢克说道。 This marriage is a springboard! (6) “怎么，您见过他？” "yes." “啊！”库图只是啊了一声。 他重新把身子靠到椅背上，轻轻地捋着胡子。最后，他对让-卢克微微一笑： “我亲爱的朋友，有需要的时候，只管吩咐我……答应吗？” “当然。”让-卢克喃喃道。 仆人进来了，说夫人正守在遗体旁，叫先生们过去。这天晚上，剩下的时间就只是丽丝的哭天抹泪和大喊大叫了。快到早晨的时候，让-卢克守了岳父几个小时。他看着死者的脸，许多事情已经明朗……可是他自己的前程却是那么的暗淡。 15 撒拉死后，什么也没有了。几个星期里，撒拉的遗孀看着汽车、家具，然后是淡紫色和淡黄色的小客厅，然后是那些原版书，一一被卖掉，那些书仅值二十法郎一本。这对丽丝· 撒拉是最致命的打击。有人把价目表给她看，她拒绝相信。她大喊大叫： “我的那些日本瓷器、中国瓷器，真是趁火打劫啊！……” 这个对人对事如她所言只求其“最美的一面”的女人，现在却只看得到丑恶。她怀疑那些最诚心打算来这里帮她的人的险恶用心。让-卢克用身上仅有的一点钱买下了那本灰麂皮精装本莎士比亚，自以为可以带给她最后一点快乐，她勉强地说了声谢谢。她穿着一身黑色的裙子，坐在丽雷客厅贴了封条的家具中间，绉纱拖在地上，喃喃道： “被盗窃……我这一辈子都被盗窃了……被盗窃被欺骗。”她喋喋不休地反复说着，因为她没有考虑到为丈夫破产的原因保密。 就像暴雨过后牛奶会变酸一样，这场风暴也使她变得尖酸刻薄。从前慷慨、花钱如流水，现在却一块糖、一块旧布都斤斤计较。让-卢克跟她争了很久，才终于使她同意给亡夫买一块墓碑，这并不是她想报复，而是现在每一个子儿对她都非常珍贵。她还有一小笔年金，那是嫁妆剩下的。她拒绝和达格尔纳一起生活，以为他们会掠走这笔钱。她去了外省，住在一个远房亲戚家里。 然而，让-卢克也不得不离开维希纳的那所房子，玛蒂尔德· 达格尔纳就要回来和孩子们一起住在那里，她还打算把那套房子变为家庭膳食旅馆。他重操旧业，出售收音机的焊锡和香水。 他们现在住的这套房子窄小、阴暗，几乎就是工人住的房子，在植物园的后面。他们刚在那里安顿下来，让-卢克就收到了库图的一封短信，跟他约定在圣拉扎尔火车站附近的一家啤酒屋里见面。 库图坐在大理石桌子边，用张开的鼻孔和油亮的嘴巴吸着腌酸菜和斯特拉斯堡香肠的味道，伸出的嘴巴就像准备接吻一样，等着让-卢克的到来。他显得很兴奋。他请让-卢克喝了一杯啤酒，仔细地端详着年轻人疲惫的面孔，和他那染过色的、在耀眼的灯光下黑色已经变成绿色的衣服。他说话直来直去，把啤酒杯端到嘴唇边，啤酒的泡沫在他那项圈样的胡子上流淌。 “我现在有可能可以帮您一个忙。您还记得吗？您的岳父去世时，我跟您说过：'尽管吩咐我。'我没有忘记自己说过的话。” 他停了片刻，等着让-卢克说出感激的话语。让-卢克终于说道： “怎么谢您呢？” 库图将宽大的背往后一靠，将两只手放在桌子上，充满友爱地看着让-卢克： “我的好朋友……您想得到吗，我帮您找到了，您认真听好了，我为您找到了撒拉银行股票的买主。” “撒拉银行的股票？……可它们在公证人的手里，您清楚得很。” “咳！我说的不是那些，”库图擦着肥厚的嘴唇，它们在棕色的胡须中显得更加肉厚、光亮和新鲜，“我当然知道它们都在公证人的手里。但您那里也有一千股份，难道不是吗？” “是的，我跟您说起过。” “对。它们一钱不值，在现在。它们几乎不能转让，但我可以以四十法郎一股的价格收购。总共是四万法郎，”他做作地强调每一个音节，“四万啊，我的老兄，一分也不少……” “它们怎么可能值这么多钱？”让-卢克问道。 库图微微一笑，眯起眼睛： “确切地说，做生意在于卖掉不能卖的东西，年轻人。” “我明白了。您知道这些股票属于我的妻子吗？” “决定权掌握在您的手里。” “我们能考虑考虑吗？” 库图点了点头： “太好了，世界上没有任何人不考虑自己的利益的！您不会认为我会欺骗您吧？您想知道它们的实际价值吗？您去负责继承股票的那个公证人那里打听一下好了。您也许会认为股市会有动作，股价会涨起来？……认为它们会大涨？……我可怜的朋友，您忘记我们正处在什么年代。我们是在1933年。股市已经崩盘。这将是个危险的交易……而且，我还可以向您书面保证这些股票将不会转让，如果转让，您可以从中得到几个点。” “您告诉我，银行的债务到底怎么样了？” “对外面公布的是，债务已经解决了。债主们答应了一项清偿协议。兰昆找到了一位同意帮助他的金融家，金融家可以从中获得一些理所当然的利益。您知道我所说的帮助政府的金融家的理所当然的利益是什么吗？……不知道？您还是一个涉世未深的青年。那是为国家提供各种用品，从中获得丰厚的报酬。” 他说到最后的两句话时，叹了一口气，嘴唇微微前伸，就像一位美食家说到一道美味佳肴一样。他打住话题，沉思了片刻后继续说道： “无论如何，丑闻还是很快就要发生……那些主要的责任人都受到各方的攻击。此刻舆论的风向已变，牵涉到金融事务，留心观察好了。” “没有任何人提出起诉吗？” This marriage is a springboard! (7) 库图好像突然对这个问题没有兴趣了。他低声说道： “什么？……没有……您不想让我请您吃一份威尔士兔1吗？……这里的威尔士兔真是棒极了。但您可能不大会品尝美食。您太年轻了。要好好品味生活中稍纵即逝的快乐，才能了解那些真正有价值的快乐是什么。一盘佳肴，一支高级雪茄，这是您永远也不会厌倦的东西。那么，什么时候可以得到您的答复？” 让-卢克站了起来： "tomorrow." 离开库图后，他慢悠悠地往家里走。他在摩肩接踵的行人中穿行，却对他们视而不见。他试着弄明白这件收购股票的事情有什么蹊跷，但他怎么都理不出个头绪来。诚然，这些股票一钱不值。可是……四万法郎……他生气了。他觉得有两条路可以走，它们应该是像拼图游戏中的拼图一样紧密交错的。但由于他缺乏部分知识，整盘游戏就在他眼皮底下散开了。这里面一定有个阴谋，到目前为止只有库图在一手操纵。他很不高兴自己闭着眼睛被库图牵着鼻子走。当然啦，明智的话就应该是平静地答应库图的提议，管他三七二十一，这能给让-卢克带来四万法郎啊，而他现在穷得叮当响，费了老大的劲才能挣到可怜巴巴的几个钱。可是，按照现在的利率，四万法郎值什么呀？……够一年的生活，勉强能支撑两年。两年后怎么办？……他不会去买一家书店或者一个葡萄酒仓库，所有在别的时代都很合理稳妥的投资方式在这个时代都不管用了。他可以谋划一种更安逸的生活，过几个月舒坦的日子，帮爱蒂解决一些物质生活方面的困难，这些困难在这个从前的富家千金看来就像是天塌下来了一样，是彻底的败落。可就在此时他也不无伤感地想到自己内心深处的真实想法： “我并不操心爱蒂。” 对妻子的幸福、快乐，他已经无所谓了。这年月，容不得你为别人着想既丰富又仁慈的生活，只能想着自己，否则，你提前就被打败了。what!库图的话里到底暗藏着什么呀？ ……他还掌握了什么秘密而让-卢克却蒙在鼓里？ ……他还有什么话没有说出来？ 突然，他又见到了库图脸上的表情，当让-卢克问到他“还没有任何人提起诉讼吗”这个问题时，他脸上装出的冷漠。他突然停住了脚步，之后又沿着一条空寂的小巷往前走，使劲地拍打着双手。就是这么回事了！……事情已经一清二楚了！股票可能的买主，或者另外一个人用化名，将提出诉讼。必须有人提起诉讼，才能引发对兰昆的公愤。兰昆以前是银行的董事，已经受到牵连，却奇迹般地大难不死，他才是别人要打击的目标。可卡里克特-兰昆难道不是库图的老板吗？……谁是最容易背叛的人？就是这么回事了，不会是别的。 他的脸上露出一丝微笑。 “有个人可能不惜一切代价也要知道这件事……这个亲爱的兰昆……可是我，我怎么做呢？……然而，在还不知道战斗结果的情况下，是不可能把武器提供给库图的吧？如果这么做……我会觉得难以忍受。这个阴谋无论如何还是值得追踪一下的，至少……但这还是不够。噢！不，这还不够。这个兰昆……他就像我见过的那样，我猜想，他很容易下手。为什么不借此机会利用他一把，就像我的岳父利用他，就像这个无法形容的库图想踩着他的肩膀往上爬一样？……是的。可是怎么做呢？……” He looked at his watch.他能不能去看看杜尔丹？最近几个月，他没有经常和杜尔丹见面，但本能地，就像小时候和刚成年的时候一样，他本能地朝他住的地方走去。在跟杜尔丹说这件事的时候，他也许可以把对他来说还是一头雾水的东西弄出个头绪来。 杜尔丹几个星期以来已经不再工作了。然而，他好像很有钱。他在费鲁街租了一间房。让-卢克看见他在家里，睡在小沙发上，光着上半身。当让-卢克推开门的时候，他忽地直起身子，脸吓得变了样，然后他重新躺下，小声说道： “你吓了我一跳！我在睡觉呢。” 让-卢克在他身边坐了下来。 “听我说，”他突然说道，“我现在面对一个问题的两个已知条件，但我还不是十分明白。我觉得我找到了一个解决的办法。你能不能告诉我答案是不是对的？” 杜尔丹仔细地听着，点了点头。 “可能就是。但我不明白你担心什么。你只需把钱拿到手，然后保持沉默就行了。” “也许还可以捞到更多的东西呢？但这取决于兰昆，或者不如说这取决于我对兰昆形成的看法。我认识他。我是从一些表面现象来看他的，如果这些表面现象我看对了，就会让我平步青云。这是一方面。另一方面，假如我错了，假如我没有那种直觉和预感的能力，我就会失去一切希望和行为能力。换句话说，就是该作何选择：是金钱，现金，还是投靠兰昆？前者只是一笔小钱，对我，对我憧憬的未来没有太大的用处；而如果能把兰昆做靠山，我就能最终踏入那个我觊觎的世界，而且这一次走的是正门，即密友和同谋走的那扇门。” “这种游戏太危险。” “怎么危险？什么才是危险？活活饿死。自从我开始面对它的时候开始，我就习以为常了。而且，人也不会饿死。那是想象中才有的事情。但是，生活如此艰难，使人最终会想：努力归努力，危险归危险，最好试图得到最大的利益，取得最好的成绩。” “你已经被严重扭曲了，”杜尔丹说道，“某些危险与冒险地结婚生子、形成亲子关系是不可类比的。” “我不否认，”让-卢克低声说道，“但现在，都结束了。” 他看着那张大床，就是在那张床上，他第一次成了爱蒂的情人。他的目光在搜寻那幅女人的小照片，瞅见过一次的……照片还在那里。有一天他会见到这个玛丽· 贝朗热吗？十五岁那年，他和杜尔丹一起盟过誓，他们永远也不会认识各自的情妇，省得冒那个险，弄个女人来在他们之间充当第三者。那个时候，他俩的友谊是那么珍贵，那么无可替代……杜尔丹也从未见过爱蒂，甚至都没想过要去认识她。 让-卢克突然问： “你总去看这个年轻的女人吗？” “是啊，干吗问这个？” “没什么。我原以为……最近一段时间，你看上去很郁闷，”他说话时特意选择一些最中性最平淡的词句来表达自己的想法，“可你有钱了，是吗？” “有过。都花光了。”杜尔丹没有多说。 让-卢克迟疑了片刻，看着他，然后沉默了。也正是在这一刻，他明白了杜尔丹，包括爱蒂并不真的关心他。每个人都要自己同自己的命运搏斗！ 他什么也没问，杜尔丹也什么都不说。让-卢克拿起放在桌子上的那包焊锡，低声说了句“晚安”，然后就告辞了。 到了外面，他突然听见关闭的门后面，传来杜尔丹的声音： “达格尔纳！”