Chapter 20 Chapter Twenty

The library was very quiet except for the sound of Jasper licking the soles of his feet.The spaniels must have stepped on thorns and got thorns in their skin, which is why they gnawed and sucked endlessly.Then the ticking of the watch on Maxim's wrist rang in his ears, the slight sound that marked the routine of life day after day.Suddenly, for no reason, a childish and lovely proverb commonly used in my school days flashed across my mind: "The passing of time waits for no one." I repeated this sentence over and over again. "Time waits for no man." And so Maxim's watch kept ticking, and Jasper lay on the floor beside me licking the soles of his feet; besides, there was no other sound in the library.

I think that when people suffer a huge sudden shock, such as death, or the loss of an arm or a leg, they may not feel it at first.If someone cuts off your hand, within a few minutes you don't realize that your hand is gone, but you still feel that your fingers are still alive; you stretch out your fingers one by one, waving them in the air, but there is nothing, no hand, no hand. finger. I knelt beside Maxim, cuddled him tightly, and stroked his shoulders with both hands. I seemed to be completely numb for a moment. I felt neither pain nor fear, and I didn't feel any sudden sensation in my heart.I thought I'd have to pick the thorn out of Jasper's paw, and then wondered if Robert was going to come in and clear the tea things.It was odd that I should think of it here and now—Jesper's feet, Maxim's watch, Robert, the tea set.I can't understand why I am so emotionless, so uncharacteristically calm, and feel no trouble at all.Slowly, I said to myself, my senses will come back and my understanding will normalize again.When the time comes, what he's told me, and everything that's happened so far, will fit into a pattern like the pieces of a jigsaw puzzle.But at this moment, I was completely numb. I had no emotion, no thoughts, and all senses were ineffective. I was just a puppet in Maxim's arms.Later, he started kissing me.He had never kissed me like this before.

I put his head in my hands and closed my eyes. "I love you so much," he whispered softly in my ear. "I love you so much." I thought, day and night, I'd been hoping to hear him say that, and now he finally did.How many times have I imagined this scene back in Monte Carlo, in Italy, and after returning to Manderley.He finally said it.I opened my eyes and looked at the small corner of the curtain above his head. He was still kissing me hungrily and muttering my name. I was still looking at the curtain, and saw that there was a small patch of it faded from the sun, not as bright as the top one.I thought again how calm and collected I was, keeping my eyes on that corner of the curtain, and letting Maxim kiss me.For the first time in his life, he told me he loved me.

Suddenly, he pushed me away and stood up from the window seat. "Look, I was right," he said. "It's too late! You don't love me now. Why should you?" He went and stood by the fire. "Just pretend I didn't say anything," he said. "I promise I'll never say such nonsense again." I realized everything at once, and a sudden pang of heartache. "It's too late," I said hastily, rising from the floor, coming to him, and throwing my arms around him. "Don't say that again! You don't understand, I love you more than anything in the world. But just now, when I was kissed by you, I was in a daze. I was so excited that I was completely numb. I didn't understand anything. It was like a little consciousness. None left."

"You don't love me anymore," he said. "That's why it's so numb. I understand, I understand. It's too late for you, isn't it?" "No!" I said. "This scene just now should have happened four months earlier," he said. "I should have realized this earlier. Women are different from men after all." "Kiss me again," I said. "We should be together for the rest of our lives, and we should hide nothing from each other. No one's shadow can separate us. It's settled, my dear, I beg you." "There's no time," he said. "It may only be a few hours, or a few days. How can we be together forever after this incident? As I told you, the wreck was found, and Rebecca was also found. "

I stared at him stupidly, not understanding what he was talking about. "What will happen to them?" I asked. "They will recognize the body," he said. "There are clues in that cabin. Her clothes, leather shoes, and rings on her hands. They will recognize her corpse, and then they will think of the female corpse last time, the unknown woman who has been buried in the grave." "What are you going to do?" I asked in a low voice. "I don't know," he said. "I have no idea." Sure enough, as I expected, I felt that it was recovering bit by bit, and my hands were warm again, sweaty and sticky.

I felt the blood rushing straight to my face, choking my throat.My cheeks were burning, and I was unconsciously thinking of Captain Sale, the divers, the Lloyd's chargé d'affaires, and those sailors on the stranded ship leaning over their sides and gazing at the water.I also thought of the shopkeepers in Christown and the whistling errand boys through the streets, how the vicar would walk into the church, how Mrs. Crowan would trim the roses in the garden, and the shawls on the cliffs. Woman in red dress and her little boy.The news will soon reach these people's ears; perhaps it will only be a few hours before breakfast tomorrow: "They have found Mrs. de Winter's shipwreck, and say there is a dead woman in the hold. "There was a female corpse in the cabin.Rebecca was still lying on the floor of the cabin, not buried in the ground at all.It was another woman who was buried in the tomb.Maxim had killed Rebecca, and Rebecca hadn't been drowned at all.He shot Rebecca at the cabin in the woods, dragged the body aboard, and then sank the ship into the bay.In that dark and lonely hut, the rain kept beating on the roof, making a pattering sound.The jigsaw puzzle pieces were assembled one by one, and suddenly a picture jumped out in front of me.Scenes that were not related to each other flashed in my blurred mind one after another: Maxim was sitting next to the car in the south of France, and I seemed to hear him say: "What happened almost a year ago changed my life completely, I am everything. You can't start from scratch..." Dumb Maxim; morose Maxim.No wonder he never mentioned Rebecca, never mentioned her name.No wonder Maxim didn't like the little bay and always avoided the little stone house.I thought I heard him say, "You wouldn't want to go there if you kept all the memories of my past in your head." No wonder he climbed the forest path without looking back; no wonder Rebecca After his death he paced all night in the library.Pacing up and down, pacing up and down!I thought I heard him say to Mrs. Van Hopper again: "I was in a hurry when I left home," and said with a slight frown.And Mrs. Van Hopper's clamor: "I heard he never recovered from the loss of his wife." I also remembered how I walked to the stairs in Rebecca's dress at the masquerade last night. . "I killed Rebecca," Maxim had said. "I shot Rebecca in the cabin in the woods." And the divers have found her body, on the floor of the cabin...

"What do we do now?" I asked. "How to tell people?" Maxim did not answer, but stood by the fireplace, staring blankly ahead with his eyes wide open, but saw nothing. "Anyone know?" I asked, "Is there anyone who knows?" He shook his head and said, "No." "Only you and I know?" I asked. "Only you and I know," he said. "Frank!" I suddenly thought of this person. "Are you sure Frank doesn't know?" "How could he know?" said Maxim. "I was alone there at the time. The night was pitch black..." Before he could finish speaking, he slumped down in a chair and pressed his hand on his forehead.I went up to him and knelt down, but he didn't move.I pulled his hands away from his face and looked straight into his eyes. "I love you," I whispered. "I love you.

Should you trust me now? "He kissed my face and hands; he squeezed my hands like a child begging for help. "I thought for sure I was going crazy," he said. "Sitting in this room every day, waiting for things to come out. And sitting at that desk over there, answering those horrible letters of condolence.Obituaries in the papers, interviews—there's always such pointless trouble after a dead person.Meanwhile, I had to eat and drink as usual, and act like a sane person, in the presence of Frith and the other servants, and in the presence of Mrs Danvers.I didn't have the courage to drive Mrs. Danvers away, because she knew Rebecca so well that she might be suspicious and guess what was going on... Frank stayed by my side, tight-lipped, and deeply sympathetic. 'Why don't you leave here? 'He advised me like this over and over again.

'I can manage the affairs of the house.You should leave home and relax. ' And the couple Giles and Beatrice. My poor good sister, ignorant Beatrice, was always saying: 'You look terrible, and must be very ill.Why don't you see a doctor? 'I had to meet all these people, and at the same time I knew that everything I said to them was a big lie. " I still cling to his hand tightly and cuddle up to him. "Once, I almost told you everything," he said. "That's the day Jesper headed straight for the cove and you went to the beach hut to find the rope. We're sitting here like this. I was about to talk when Frith and Robert came in with tea."

"Not bad," I said. "I remember. Why didn't you tell me? We were wasting a lot of time when we could have been intimate. Days and weeks went by." "Your attitude was so indifferent," he said. "Always take Jesper to the garden alone, never come to me and make out like this." "Why didn't you tell me?" I said softly. "Why didn't you tell me?" "I thought you were uncomfortable and bored here," he said. "I'm much older than you. You seem to talk and laugh more easily with Frank. You're always so queer, so unnatural, and so shy when you're with me." "I see you miss Rebecca, how can I make out with you?" I said, "I see you still love Rebecca, how can I ask you to love me again?" He put his arms around me and searched my eyes. "What nonsense are you talking about? What do you mean by that?" he asked. I knelt beside him and straightened my upper body. "Whenever you touch me, I think you're comparing me to Rebecca," I said. "Whenever you talk to me, whenever you look at me, or walk in the garden with me, or eat with me, I always feel you remind yourself: "It was the same with Rebecca" . "He looked at me with bewildered eyes, as if he couldn't understand what I said. "Am I wrong?" I said. "Oh, my God!" He pushed me away, stood up, twisted his hands, and walked around the room. "What's the matter? What happened?" I asked. He turned around sharply and looked at me sitting on the floor with my knees hugged. "You think I love Rebecca?" he said. "You think I loved her when I killed her? Tell you, I hate her! My marriage to this woman was a farce, from the beginning. This woman is vicious and deserves hell. Woman. We never loved each other; there was no moment of happiness together. Rebecca knows no love at all, this woman has no tenderness, no sense of right and wrong, and is even a little abnormal." I sat on the floor with my knees hugged, watching him intently. "Of course, she's smart," he said. "Smart like a devil. Anyone who has met her thinks that she is the kindest, most generous, and most talented person in the world. She can look at different objects and say different things, and knows how to adjust her emotions to cater to her." Someone else. If she had made your acquaintance, she would have taken your arm and walked me into the garden, calling to Jasper, and talking to you about flowers, and music, and paintings, or whatever else she had heard of. Your special hobby. You will be deceived by her like everyone else, and you will worship her at her feet." He was still pacing up and down in the library. "When I married her, people said I was the luckiest man in the world," he said. "She is so beautiful, talented, and able to cater to others, so even the old grandmother who was the most difficult to please at that time liked her from the beginning. Grandma said to me: "A wife must have three virtues: upbringing , brains and good looks.She has all three. 'I believed what grandma said, or I forced myself to believe it.However, at the same time, there is always a little doubt in my heart that her eyes are not right..." As the jigsaw pieces came together, Rebecca began to appear to me as she really was; she emerged from the unreal world of the photo frame and became a real person of flesh and blood.Rebecca riding her horse forward; Rebecca clutching the reins with both hands; triumphant Rebecca, leaning down from the bard's gallery, with a victorious smile on her lips. I thought again of myself standing next to Beth on the beach. "You have a good heart," he said. "Unlike the other one, you won't send me to a lunatic asylum, will you?" Back then, there was a man who walked through the woods in the darkness of night. He was tall and slim, with a snake-like appearance... But Maxim still talked to himself, and continued to pace up and down the library. "Not long after, I caught her. We were only married for five days. Do you remember the day I drove you up to the top of Monte Carlo? I wanted to revisit old places and reminisce about the past. She Sitting on that hill, laughing loudly, with her black hair blowing in the wind; she told me her experience, and I would never repeat those words to a third person. Only then did I realize what a stupid thing I had done What a wife! Beauty, brains, and breeding. Oh, God!" He suddenly choked with sobs and couldn't continue. He stood by the window and looked at the lawn outside.He actually let out a laugh, and he couldn't stop laughing strangely just standing like this.I could bear it no longer, the laughter frightened and chilled me.I can't stand it! "Maxim!" I yelled. "Maxim." He lit a cigarette, stood by the window and smoked silently.Then he turned around again and started pacing again. "I almost killed her then," he said. "It was too easy to kill her that time. Going the wrong way and slipping. You must remember the cliffs there.You were really scared by me that day, weren't you?You might think I'm crazy. Maybe I am indeed a madman.Someone who lives with the devil can't be sane, can he? " I sat on the floor and watched him pace back and forth. "On the top of the hill there, on the edge of the cliff, she made a deal with me: "I will run your house for you, and manage your ancestral treasured Manderley for you.I could make this house the first famous place in the country if you like, and people would come and admire us, and whisper behind our backs that we were the luckiest, most beautiful couple in England.What a fool, Max, and what a success at the same time! ' She sat on the hillside laughing wildly, tearing a flower to pieces. " Maxim threw the quarter-smoked cigarette into the empty hearth. "It turned out I didn't hurt her," he said. "I just stared at her blankly, didn't say anything, and let her laugh. Later, we got into the car together again and drove off the cliff.She knew I had to listen to her, go back to Manderley, have a public tour, feast and get people to say our marriage was the most successful marriage of the century; Rather than let these people know the secrets she told me at that time, I would rather sacrifice my honor and reputation, put aside my personal feelings, and give up everything else in the world; Go to court for a divorce, get her scandal out, get finger-pointed in the back, get the newspapers to slander, get neighbors in the neighborhood to whisper when they hear my name, get Chris to come for an excursion Tourists flocked to the door, looked inside, and commented: "He lives here. This house is called Mandoli, and the owner of the house is the man we read in the newspaper about the lawsuit and divorce." Of his wife, do you remember what the judge said?'" He came, stood before me, stretched out his hands, and said, "You despise me, don't you? My disgrace, my hatred and my loathing, you cannot comprehend." I said nothing.I clasped his hands tightly to my chest.I don't care about his disgrace.Nothing he said to me had anything to do with me.I just thought of one sentence, and repeated it over and over again: Maxim didn't love Rebecca, he never loved her, never did.He and she never enjoyed a moment of happiness.Maxim was still talking, and I was still listening, but his words had no effect on me, and I didn't care. "I think too much about Manderley," he said. "Always put Manderley first, above everything else. Such deformed affections do not lead to good results, and no one advocates them in church services.Christ left no instruction about stones, bricks, or walls, or how a man should love his own piece of land, his soil, his little world.None of this is part of Christian teaching. " "My baby," I said. "My Maxim, darling." I pressed his hands to my face and brought my lips together. "Do you understand?" he asked. "Do you really understand?" "Yes," I said. "My dear." But I turned my head away quickly so he wouldn't see my face.What does it matter if I understand him or not?My heart is as light as a bird's feather blown by the wind, for he never loved Rebecca. "I don't want to think about those years of my life," he said slowly. "I don't even want to tell you about the old days, about my shame and disgrace, about how she and I both lived a lie, and put on a bad, base farce together, in front of the servants, in front of Fr. Loyal, honest, honest man like old Reese. People here believe in her and adore her, but these people don't know that she teases them behind their backs and mocks them like they do. I remember garden parties in the house, How can a house be packed at open air concerts or other performances. She walks around with that sweet angelic smile on her face, takes my arm and hands out prizes to a small group of children after the show. But The next day she would get up at dawn, drive to London, and burrow into her flat on the Thames like a beast burrows in a ravine, where, after five shady days, it would be the weekend. Come back. Oh, I've done everything on the terms of the deal, and never told anyone about her. Her devilish taste has made Manderley what it is. Gardens, shrubs The bushes and the heather in the valley of happiness, do you think my father had these flowers and plants when he was alive? No, the manor was deserted at that time. Yes, the scenery is very beautiful, it is a unique beauty of desolation and loneliness. However, the manor is in a hurry. It would cost a fortune to have it done by a skilled hand. My father would never have paid for it, and if it hadn't been for Rebecca, I wouldn't have thought of spending it. You're at the house today. Half of the furnishings seen in the various rooms were not where they are now. Today's living room, today's morning room—it was all arranged by Rebecca. Frith proudly pointed out to the visitors on the reception day The chairs, the wainscots—again Rebecca's idea. Of course, some of the furnishings were originally from the house, stored in the back room. My father knew nothing about furniture or paintings, so most of the things were Rebecca's. Rebecca bought it. The beautiful mandala you see today, the well-known mandala, the mandala with photos and paintings, are all Rebecca's masterpieces." I said nothing and hugged him tightly.I wish he would go on and on like this, and that his feud would go away, and some of the old grudges and jealousy and filth would go with it. "That's how we live together," he said. "Month after month, year after year. I had to go with it, and it was all for Manderley's sake. I had nothing to do with her rampages in London, because they didn't hurt a hair of Manderley. Those first few years, She is also discreet, no one speaks ill of her, and there is not a word whispered behind her back. But she slowly became presumptuous.You know how men get into the habit of drinking?At the beginning, I was not addicted, I only drank a little at a time, and it may take five or six months to get drunk once.Then, the cycle became shorter and shorter, and soon, every month, every half month, every few days, I had to drink a lot.All the safety factors, all the deep-seated precautions, all disappeared.That was the case with Rebecca.She began to invite her gang of foxes here.She invites one or two at a time, letting them mingle with the guests at weekend parties.So, in the beginning, I was unaware, not sure who these people were. She used to have picnics at her stone hut in the cove.Once, when I came back from hunting in Scotland, I found her hanging out at a beach hut with half a dozen friends, strangers I'd never met.I warned her, but she shrugged indifferently and said, "What does this have to do with you?" I told her that she could go to London to meet her friends, but Manderley was my home, and she didn't care. Had to do things as they were told. She smiled and said nothing, but then she flirted with Frank. A shy and loyal friend, poor Frank! He came to me one day and said he wanted to leave Manderley. , to find another job. I argued with him for two hours in this library, and finally I understood his misery. He finally couldn't bear it, and told me the truth. He said that Women don't let him go for a moment, keep coming to him, trying to lure him to the beach shack. Dear Frank, how poor! He doesn't know the truth, and keeps taking it for granted that we are a wonderful loving couple. "I accused Rebecca of having Frank's idea, and she flew into a rage and called me bloody, with all the dirty words in her peculiar language. It was a real fool's errand, watching Must be disgusting. After that, she went to London again, where she stayed for a month.When she came back, she was honest at first, and I thought she had learned her lesson at last.It was only then, when Beatrice and Giles came for the weekend, that I realized that my suspicions hadn't been superficial: Beatrice really hated Rebecca.I dare say that Beatrice, in her eccentric, irascible, undisguised manner, saw right through her and guessed that our relationship was not normal.During that weekend holiday, everyone was wary of each other and worried about their worries.Giles sailed out with Rebecca while Beatrice and I rested on the lawn. When the two came back, Giles was very happy. Seeing this, and looking at Rebecca's eyes, I knew that she had started to infuse Giles with tricks, repeating the old trick she used to deal with Frank.At dinner, I noticed that Beatrice was staring at Giles, who was laughing far louder and talking more than usual that night.Meanwhile, Rebecca sat at the head of the table like an angel. " The jigsaw puzzle is almost complete.I used my clumsy fingers to try to piece together those oddly shaped small pieces, but they just couldn't form a pattern.No wonder Frank was so disgusted when I mentioned Rebecca.And Beatrice's unnaturally deprecating air.People kept silent about Rebecca, and I always thought it was out of sympathy and pity, but the real reason was shame and embarrassment.It is incredible that I have never been able to see the clue.There are a few fools like me in the world who have suffered in the past and continue to suffer today because they cannot break free from the shackles of shyness and shyness; The big wall of the wall prevents oneself from seeing the truth. This is me in the past!I imagined distorted scene after scene, and sat alone watching; I was never brave enough to seek the truth.As a matter of fact, if I just took a step, overcame my shyness a little, Maxim would have told me everything four or five months ago. "That was Beatrice and Giles' last weekend at Manderley," Maxim said. "I never again sent separate invitations to either of them. After that, the couple came only on official occasions, to garden parties or balls. Beatrice never mentioned a word to me, and I didn't make it clear to her. But I think she knows what kind of life I'm leading; I think she knows the truth of the matter; Her behavior was impeccable. But when I was out on business, she stayed at Manderley, and I never knew what kind of scandal would happen here. She could seduce Frank and Giles, and even take the manor house. Any craftsman who gets his hands on it can still come to Chris City to drag a lover, no matter what kind of man... Then there will be an explosive scandal, followed by gossip and gossip that I worry about day and night .” I seem to be standing next to the cabin in the woods again, listening to the patter of raindrops on the roof; I seem to see the dust on the model yacht and the mouse bite hole in the daybed; I seem to see Bane staring like an idiot again. eyes, and heard him say, "You won't send me to a madhouse, will you?" I thought again of the steep path through the woods; There will be a rustling sound. "She's got a cousin," said Maxim, succinctly. "The man went abroad and came back to England. Whenever I travel, this man comes here to hang out. Frank sees him a lot. His name is Jack Favre." "I know this guy," I said. "He came the day you went to London." "You saw him too?" asked Maxim. "Why didn't you tell me? I heard from Frank that this man was here. Frank saw his car drive through the gates of the estate. " "I don't want to tell you," I said. "I'm afraid that if I say it, it will remind you of Rebecca again." "Calls my memory?" Maxim whispered to himself. "Oh, my God, do I still use other people to bring up memories?" He stared straight ahead and didn't continue talking for a while.I don't know if he, like me, is thinking about the sunken ship's cabin filled with seawater in the bay. "She's always asking that guy named Favre to come to the beach shack," Maxim continued. "She always told the servants that she was out at sea and wouldn't be back before daybreak. In fact, she spent the night with the guy in the cabin. I warned her again and made it clear to her that if I ran into this guy again, it wouldn't matter at the manor. any corner, I'll shoot him dead. That man has a clean history, a wretch... It drives me nuts to think of this man walking in the woods of Manderley and defiled a place like Happy Valley.I made it clear to her that I could not stand such insults.She shrugged again, but this time she forgot to swear a few profane words.I also noticed that she was paler than usual, and that she looked a little hurried and rather haggard.Seeing her like this, I couldn't help asking myself, when this woman starts to look old, and I also feel that old age is approaching, I don't know what kind of monster she will become.The days passed like this day by day, without any major accidents.One day she went to London again, but returned home that day.This is rare for her.I didn't expect her to come back, so I went to Frank's for dinner.There was a lot to do at the time. " His tone of voice became hurried and short now.I hold his hands tightly. "After dinner, I didn't come home until half past ten, and I saw her scarf and gloves lying on the chair in the hall. I don't understand why she came home so soon.I went into the gallery and she wasn't there.I guess she probably went to the bay again.At this time, I suddenly woke up, and I could no longer bear this kind of dirty life full of lies and deceit.Things have to work out anyway.I wondered if I should grab a gun and scare the lover, scare the couple.So I set off right away to the beach hut.The servants had no idea that I had been home.I slipped into the garden, through the woods, and saw lights in the cottage windows.I went straight to the cabin.But to my surprise, Rebecca was alone in the room.She was lying on the double-purpose sofa, and the ashtray next to her was full of cigarette butts. She looked like she was sick, and her expression was abnormal. "I called that bastard Favell right off the bat, and she listened without saying a word. 'You and I should have had enough of this embarrassing life,' I said. 'Today is the end. You see? I have nothing to do with your wanderings in London, where you can live with Favere, or find any lover you like. Not here. You are not allowed to come to Manderley Hu.'" She was silent for a while, staring at her. Looking at me carefully, then smiled and said; 'What if I like to live here? '"'You ought to understand our quid pro quo,' I said. "I've kept my word about that damned damn business between us, haven't I?You don't talk much, do you think you can use my house, my home, as your London den?I swallowed and had enough.By God, Rebecca, I give you one last chance today. ’” I remember she stubbed out her cigarette in the ashtray by the sofa, then stood up and stretched with her arms over her head. "'You're right, Max,' she said. 'It's time for me to turn the page.'" She looked very pale, very thin.She started pacing the room with her hands stuffed in her trouser pockets.She looked like a little boy in a nautical dress, with a baby face like that of an angel in a Botcelli painting. ①An Italian painter in the sixteenth century. "'Have you ever thought about it?' she said. 'You can't bring any decent evidence against me. I mean if you want to divorce me, take it to court. Do you understand? From the beginning , you haven't got a shred of evidence from me. Your friends, even the servants, believe our marriage is perfect.'" 'What if I drag Frank out to speak? 'I say. 'And Beatrice. '" She threw herself back into the air and laughed. 'What can Frank say about me?' she said. 'You know me so well, don't you understand that? As for Beatrice, if she were on the stand, I'd Must turn her into a complete jealous neighborhood shrew who goes to court because her husband occasionally loses his head and does something stupid. Isn't that the easiest thing in the world? No, Max , to prove that I misbehaved, enough trouble for you." She put her weight on her heels, rocked back and forth, put her hands in her pockets, and looked at me intently with a small smile on her lips. 'Have you thought about it?I could have my handmaiden, Danny, come forward and swear in court any evidence I was taught to teach her.And the other servants, out of ignorance and blind obedience, will follow her and swear in court. In their eyes, we are a couple living in Manderley, right?Everyone else, including all your friends, everyone in our little circle, sees it the same way.Well, I'd like to see how you can prove that we are not married. '" She sat down on the edge of the table, dangling her legs, and stared at me. "'Aren't we very successful in our roles as a loving couple?' she asked. I still remember staring at her foot, with the striped sandal on it, moving back and forth. Look As I watched, my eyes began to sore, and my head suddenly felt a sharp pain for no reason. "'The two of us, I mean Danny and I, can make you look like a real fool,' she whispered. 'Make no one believe you, Max, no one will believe you ’ That foot was still dangling in front of my eyes, that goddamn foot in the blue and white sandal! "Suddenly, she slid off the table and stood in front of me, still smiling, her hands still in her pockets. “'假如我有个孩子，迈克斯，'她说，'不管是你本人还是世上随便哪一个外人，都将无法证明孩子不是你生的。小家伙将在曼陀丽长大成人，姓你家的贵姓。到时候你也无计可施啊！等你死了，曼陀丽将自这孩子所有；你根本没法防止这样的事情发生。 财产的继承关系是无法避免的。为了你钟爱的曼陀丽，你当然希望有个继承人，对不？看着我的儿子躺在栗子树下的童车里，在草坪上玩跳蛙游戏，在幸福谷捉蝴蝶，你不高兴吗？看着我的儿子一天天长大，心里明白一旦你死了，这一切将全都归他所有，这难道不是你一生中最大的幸福吗？迈克斯？'“她顿了一顿，仍然把身子重量压在脚跟上摇晃，接着又点起一支烟，走去站在窗边。她开始放声大笑，哈哈地笑个不停，我觉得她好像永远不会住嘴了。'天哪，多有趣！'她说。'真是有趣到极点，妙不可言！对啦，刚才你听没听到我说，我该掀开新的一页了？现在你总该明白我为什么说这话，那些妄自尊大的本地人，你家那些该死的佃户，这一来他们肯定会高兴吧？他们会说：这正是我们一直翘首期望的喜事，德温特夫人！我将做一个十全十美的良母，迈克斯，就好像我始终是个十全十美的贤妻。谁也看不透其中的秘密，谁也无法了解事实真相。'”她转过身来，面对着我，脸上挂着微笑，一只手插在口袋子里，另一只手拿着香烟。我杀死她的时候，她还在笑。我是朝她心窝开枪的，子弹不偏不倚穿心脏而过。她并没有立刻倒下，而是在原地站了一会儿，盯着我看，脸上慢慢绽开笑容，两眼睁得滚圆……“ 迈克西姆的声音越来越轻，最后竟成了低声的耳语；他那被我握着的手冰凉冰凉。 我没敢看他，移开目光盯着身旁地毯上打瞌睡的杰斯珀，它的尾巴不时微微一甩，敲打着地板。 “我当时忘了，”迈克西姆这时的嗓门压得非常低，声音显出十分的疲惫，一点不带感情。“开枪杀人竟会流出那么多的血。” 杰斯珀尾巴下面的地毯上有个破洞，是香烟烧坏的。我暗自忖度，这破洞出现至今不知已有多久。有人说白蜡树皮可用来补地毯。 “我不得不跑到海湾去打水，”迈克西姆说。“来来回回跑了好几趟。她死时不在壁炉旁，可在那儿竟然也溅了一片血迹。在她倒下的地方，前后左右更是全成了血泊。 外边起风了。窗子没插销，所以一开一闭。乒乒乓乓碰撞不止。屋子里，我跪在地上，手拿抹布，身边放着一桶水。 " 我不禁想到：还有拍打屋顶的雨水呢！How can he not remember?雨点子虽细却密，淅沥入耳。 “我把她的尸体拖上了船，”他说。“那时是十一点半光景，可能快十二点了。外面一片漆黑。那晚上没有月光，吹着一阵强劲的西风。我把她的尸体拖进船舱，扔在那儿，接着只好仓促开船，船尾拖着救生橡皮筏，迎着风浪，驶出小埠头。风向虽顺，可惜只是阵风。我在海岬的掩护下，正好处在下风头。我记得主帆张到一暗桅杆上轧住了。 你知道，驾船这活儿我已多时不干。我从未随吕蓓卡一起出海。 “我还考虑到潮水的因素，那晚的潮水既急又猛，汹涌冲进小海湾。风像是通过漏斗从海岬处吹下。我驾着帆船驶过灯塔，进了海湾。我绕着圈子航行，避开那突出的礁岩。船首的小三角帆在风中啪啪作响，我怎么也没法扣紧帆脚索把它张满。一阵狂风吹来，猛地把帆脚索从我手里打落，那绳索马上绕着桅杆卷作一团。帆颤抖着发出巨大的劈啪声。像是有谁在我头顶挥舞鞭子。我记不得在这种场合驾船人应该如何动作才对，我当时什么都记不得了。我曾伸手去抓那根帆脚索，可绳索在我头上随风飘荡。这时迎面又吹来一阵大风，帆船开始向一侧漂去，接近礁岩。天暗极了。在那漆黑而滑溜的甲板上，真是伸手不见五指。我好不容易才跌跌撞撞下到舱里，手里拿着一块大尖铁。要是此刻再不采取行动，就太晚了，因为帆船离礁岩已很近，如果再漂流六七分钟，就会离开深水。我旋开船壳上的海底阀门，海水顿时涌进来；我用大尖铁猛击船底木板，其中一块马上裂作两半；我把大尖铁从缺口处退出，又去猛击另一块底板。海水漫上我的脚面。我让吕蓓卡的尸体留在那儿的地板上，接着就去把两扇舷窗—一关紧，又把舱门锁上。待我走上甲板，我发现船离礁岩已不满二十码。我把甲板上的零碎东西扔下海去——一个救生圈、一对长柄桨、一团绳子。我爬进橡皮筏子，划离帆船，接着又停住桨，回头凝望。帆船仍在随风漂流，同时又正歪着头逐渐下沉。三角帆还是颤抖不已，打响鞭似地劈啪作声。我想深夜里倘若有人在悬崖上行走，定会听到这劈啪的帆声。也许海湾远处有从克里斯港来的渔人，他的小渔船浮在水面像个幽灵，我没法看清。帆船的桅杆开始摇晃，并出现裂缝。突然，船翻了。与此同时，桅杆拦腰折断。救生圈和长柄桨从我身旁荡开去，帆船却不见了。我记得自己当时曾对着帆船原先的位置呆呆看了好一会儿，然后才划着桨回到小海湾。这时开始下雨了。” 迈克西姆沉吟着，仍然以呆滞的目光望着前方。接着，他转过脸来，看着坐在他身旁地板上的我。 “这就是全部经过，”他说。“都说完了。我把筏子拴在浮筒上。反正换了她一定也会这么干。我回到小屋一看，地板被海水冲得湿漉漉的，那也可能是她本人打扫屋子时洒的水。我沿着小径穿过林子，走回屋来，上了楼梯，来到更衣室。我还记得自己如何脱衣就寝。屋外风雨凄苦，其势越来越猛。丹弗斯太太来敲门时，我正坐在床上。我穿着晨衣，走去开门，同她说了几句话。她担心吕蓓卡出什么意外；我劝她回去睡觉。 我把门关上，走回房间，穿着晨衣在窗口坐下，看黑夜里的倾盆大雨，听海湾里的阵阵涛声。 " 我俩就这样一声不吭，坐在藏书室里。我还是执着他冰凉的双手；我不明白罗伯特怎么还不来收拾茶具。 “那艘船沉没的地方离岸太近，”迈克西姆说。“我原来想把船开到海湾外面。要是沉在那一带，就不会被人发现了。沉船太靠近海岸了。” “都是那艘轮船，”我说。“要不是那艘轮船搁浅，就不会出这桩事，那还不是照样神不知鬼不觉。” “沉船大靠近海岸了，”迈克西姆再说一遍。 我俩又沉默了，我开始觉得极度的疲乏。 “我早料到总有一天要出事，”迈克西姆说。“即使在我去埃奇库姆比认那无名女尸的当儿，我就知道这样做无济于事。最多只不过再等一段日子，挨过一段时间。到最后吕蓓卡总要得胜。后来我遇上了你，可这并没有改变事情的性质，是不？把爱情倾注在你身上也根本没法改变事情的性质。、吕蓓卡料到自己最终会得胜。我看见她死时犹在微笑。” “吕蓓卡死了，”我说。“这一点我们必须记住。吕蓓卡死了，死人不会说话；死人无法提供证词。她不能再加害于你了。” “可她的尸骸还在，”他说。“而且已被潜水员发现，就躺在船舱的地板上。” “我们可以向别人解释，”我说。“得想个法儿自圆其说才行。那尸体是谁，你不认识；那人你以前从来没见过。” “可她的衣物在船舱里，”他说。“还有手上的戒指。即使衣服已被海水消蚀，还会有别的线索。这不是海难事故中受害者的尸体，并没有在岸石上撞得支离破碎。没人进过那船舱，那天晚上我把她扔在舱里，她一定还是以同样的姿势躺在那儿的地板上。 几个月以来，沉船一直在老地方，谁也没去动它一动。帆船就在原先沉没的地点，躺在海底。 " “泡在水里的尸体是要腐烂的，对不？”我压低嗓子问。“就算没人去动过尸体，海水也一定把她消蚀了，对不？” “不知道，”他说。 "I have no idea." “有没有办法去打听一下，探明真相？”我问。 “明天早晨五点半，潜水员还要下水去，”迈克西姆说。“塞尔已作了布置，准备设法把帆船打捞上来。到时候，左近不会有人围观。但我得跟他们一起去走一遭。他说好派汽艇到小海湾来接我。明天早晨五点半。” “把你接了去之后又怎么样呢？”我问。“要是把船打捞上来，下一步会发生什么事？” “塞尔准备把他们的大驳船泊在海口的深水处。要是沉船的船木还没腐烂，整艘船还没解体，他就可以用起重机把船吊起，装进驳船，驶回克里斯。塞尔说，他计划把驳船泊在一条人迹不至的小河的源头，那是个僻静的去处，离克里斯港有一半路程。那地方船只进出方便，可退潮时一片淤泥，游客没法把船划过去。所以，使用那一片水域的将只有我们几个。他说，得先把帆船里的水抽空，把船弄干净。同时，他还要去找一名医生来。” “找他干吗？”我问。“找医生干什么？” “我不知道，”他说。 “要是他们认出那是吕蓓卡的尸体，你就说上次那具女尸你认错了，”我说。“你得讲清楚，埋进墓穴的女尸是个错误，一个可怕的大错。你还得说明白，去埃奇库姆比认尸的那天，你正发病，晕头转向，不能对自己的所作所为负责。但是即便在当时，你也没有把握，自己是不是认准了。整个儿事情是个错误，仅此而已。你就这么说，好不好？” "Good," he said. "OK." “他们抓不住你的把柄，”我说。“那天夜里没有人看见你。出事时你已上床了。 他们什么证据也没有。这事除了你我两人，谁也不知道，甚至连弗兰克也一无所知。这世界上，迈克西姆，只有你我两人知情。 " "Yes," he said. “是这样。” “人们会以为船是倾侧着沉没的，当时她恰好在舱里，”我说。“人们会设想，她下舱去是想找根绳子或者别的什么东西。就在她下舱的那工夫，海岬处吹来一阵狂风，船一个翻身，把吕蓓卡反锁在里面。大家都会这样想的，是不是？” “不知道，”他说。 "I have no idea." 突然间，藏书室背后的小房间里，电话铃声大作。