Chapter 19 Chapter Nineteen

It was Maxim.Although I don't see anyone.But I heard his voice.As he walked quickly, he summoned Frith loudly.I heard Frith answer in the hall, then come out of the house and run up to the terrace.Looking down from the heights, I saw two figures standing in the thick fog. "The ship's docked," Maxim said. "I watched from the headland as the boat drifted into the bay and hit the reef. Those people tried their best, but because of the bad tide, they couldn't turn the bow of the boat around.The ship must have mistook the bay here for Port Chris; the area beyond the bay was indeed like a bank.Tell the people in the house to prepare something to eat and drink, in case the crew members are in trouble, they can help them.Make a call to Crowley's office.Tell him what happened.I'm going back to the bay and see if I can help.Please bring me some cigarettes. "

Mrs. Danvers withdrew from the window, her face dull again, and the mask of indifference I had known so familiar. "We'd better go downstairs," she said, "and Frith will surely come to me and ask me to take care of various matters. Mr. de Winter will probably do what he says, and bring the crew home. Watch out for your Hands, I'm closing the window." I retreated into the room, still dazed, wondering what was going on between myself and Mrs Danvers.I watched her close the windows, draw the blinds, and draw the curtains. "Fortunately the sea was not too rough," she said. "Otherwise, there is little hope of survival for these people. But the weather today is not dangerous. But if there is an accident on the rocks, as Mr. de Winter said, the owner will lose a boat."

She looked around to see if everything in the room was in order and in place.She straightened the coverlet on the double bed, then walked outside, opening the door to let me through. "I'd tell the servants in the kitchen to get a cold meal anyway, and have lunch served in the dining room," she said. "In this way, you can eat whenever you want. If Mr. De Winter is busy in the bay to rescue shipwrecks, he may not be in a hurry to come back by noon." I stared at her blankly, then walked out through the open door, stiff as a puppet. "If you see Mr. de Winter, ma'am, please tell him that if he wishes to bring the crew home, it will be done. I'll have a hot meal ready for them anytime."

"OK," I said. "Must tell, Mrs. Danvers." She turned around and walked along the corridor towards the servants' stairs. Her haggard and slender body was wrapped in black clothes, making her look more gloomy and mysterious;Then, she turned the corner and disappeared at the other end of the two roads. I shuffled toward the gate along the arched market street.Thoughts were still dull and numb, as if just waking up from a deep night's sleep.I opened the door and walked aimlessly down the stairs.Frith was walking across the hall towards the dining room. As soon as he saw me, he stopped and waited for me to go down the stairs.

"Mr. de Winter was back a few minutes ago, ma'am," he said. "Get some cigarettes and go to the beach again. Looks like a boat has drifted ashore and run aground." "Oh," I said. "Did you hear the trumpet, ma'am?" said Frith. "Yes, I heard that," I said. "I was in the cold-serve kitchen with Robert, and at first we both thought it was some gardener who lit the leftover fireworks from last night at the plant," Frith said. "And I said to Robert, 'Why fireworks at a time like this? Why don't you save them for Saturday night and let the kids have fun?' Then there was a second shot, and then a third shot, 'Not fireworks, said Robert. 'It's a shipwreck,' 'it seems you're right,' I said, hastening to the hall, when I heard Mr. de Winter calling me from the platform."

"Oh," I said. "But it's not surprising that something happens to a boat in this fog, ma'am. I was saying that to Robert just now. You can get lost on land, let alone at sea." "Yeah," I said. "You might want to catch Mr. de Winter, who was walking across the lawn to the beach two minutes ago," Frith said. "Thanks for the tip, Frith," I said. I went out to the terrace and saw the trees on the other side of the lawn poking out of the mist.The thick fog turned into little clouds, rose into the air, and began to dissipate. The water vapor swirled around my head like a smoke ring.I looked up at the windows in the upper part of the house. The windows were all shut, with the shutters drawn, as if they were never going to be opened again, and no one would ever open them for air.

Five minutes ago I was standing by the big central window.At this moment, it seems that the window is extremely far from the top of my head, high above, how majestic.I stepped on hard stones, looked down at my feet, and then raised my eyes to look at the closed shutters. At this moment, I felt dizzy, hot and uncomfortable, and a trickle of sweat trickled down the back of my neck. Venus flurry.So, I walked back to the lobby and found a chair and sat down.My hands were sweaty, I hugged my knees, and sat still without moving. "Fris," I called out. "Are you in the restaurant?"

"Yes. What's Ma'am's order?" He came out of the dining room at once, and walked across the hall towards me. "Don't think I'm eccentric, Frith. But I'd like a little brandy right now." "I'll bring it right away, ma'am." I still hugged my knees and sat quietly.He came back with a silver tray on which was a glass of wine. "Madam, don't you feel a little uncomfortable?" Frith said. "Shall I go and get Clarice for you?" "No, I'll be all right soon, Frith," I said. "I just feel a little stuffy, no big deal."

"It's very hot this morning, ma'am, so hot it's almost suffocating." "Yes, Frith, it's hot enough." I drank the brandy and put the glass back on the silver tray. "Perhaps you were startled by those blasts," Frith said. "The gunfire was very sudden." "Yes, the sound of the guns startled me," I said. "Standing and entertaining all night last night, and it's so hot this morning, maybe you're sick, ma'am," said Frith. "No, that's not enough," I said. "Would you like to lie down and rest for half an hour? The library is still cool."

"No, you don't have to. I've got to get out in a while. Don't bother, Frith." "Very well, ma'am." He left, leaving me alone in the hall.It's quiet and cool to sit here.All traces of last night's dance had been swept away, as if it had never happened.The hall was still the same as usual: gray, dead silent, gloomy and grim, with portraits and weapons hanging on the walls.I can't believe that last night I stood at the foot of the stairs in that blue robe and shook hands with five hundred guests; nor can I imagine that there was a music stand in the minstrel gallery and a small band playing , with a fiddler and a drummer.I stood up, went out the door, and walked up the platform again.

The fog was clearing and had receded up the treetops.By this time I could see the woods at the end of the lawn.Over my head the pale sun was struggling to break through the foggy sky.It was getting hotter and, as Frith had just said, suffocating.A bee buzzed past me, making noise, asking around, looking for the scent of flowers.When it got into a flower to gather honey, the buzzing stopped abruptly.On the grassy slope beside the lawn, the gardener started the mower, and a cardinal was startled by the swishing mowing blades, and flew towards the rose garden.The gardener hunched over, holding the handle of the mower, and walked slowly along the grassy slope, the grass clippings and small daisy flowers were flying in all directions.The breeze is blowing, carrying the warm fragrance of grass; the sun shines hotly on my head through the white water vapor.I whistled for Jasper, but there was no sign of the spaniel. Maybe the beast followed Maxim to the beach. I looked at my watch. It was past half past twelve, almost twenty minutes until one o'clock. At this time yesterday, Maxim and I were standing with Frank. In the small garden in front of his house, waiting for his housekeeper to open lunch.This was twenty-four hours ago.Both were laughing at me at the time.Trying to find out what kind of masquerade I will be wearing.I said, "It's no wonder you two are not surprised!" Remembering what I said, I am so ashamed.Only then did I realize that Maxim hadn't left, and my original concerns were unreasonable.I heard him speak on the terrace just now, and that voice was calm and calm, telling others to do this and that in a matter-of-fact manner. It was a voice I was familiar with, and it was not as terrible as the voice I heard when I appeared on the stairs last night.Maxim did not leave!He was busy somewhere in the cove below.He was still the same, sane and lucid.He was only out for a walk, as Frank said; he had been to the headland, and there he had seen a boat drifting close to shore.My fears and misgivings were all unfounded.Maxim is safe and sound; nothing is wrong with Maxim.I just had a bad dream, a degrading topsy-turvy dream, the meaning of which I don't quite understand even now.I don't want to go back and relive this nightmare, wishing to bury it forever in the dark corner of my memory along with the long-forgotten childhood horror experience.But then again, as long as Maxim is fine, it doesn't matter if it's a nightmare! So, I also followed the steep winding path, through the dark forest, and went straight to the beach at the bottom of the slope. By this time, the fog had almost cleared.When I came to the cove, I saw the stranded ship at a glance.The boat was parked two miles offshore, with its bow toward the reef.I walked along the jetty and stood at the end of the jetty, leaning against the arc-shaped wall of the jetty.A large group of people had gathered on the edge of the cliff, probably following the patrol route of the Coast Guard from Chris to watch the excitement.The cliffs and headlands here are all part of the Mandala estate, but outsiders have always exercised the right of way across the cliffs.Some spectators climbed down the cliffs in order to observe the stranded ships from a close distance. The boat ran aground at an awkward angle, with its stern upturned.By this time several dinghies were paddling in all directions towards the stranded ship; the lifeboats had been dispatched, and I saw someone standing in the lifeboat yelling through a loudspeaker.I can't hear what the man said.The bay was still shrouded in mist, and the horizon could not be seen.Another motorboat chugs in, with several men standing on board.The motorboat was dark brown, and I saw its crew in uniform, presumably Chris' harbor master and accompanying Lloyd's chargé d'affaires.Another motorboat full of vacationers followed, coming from Chris, and the two motorboats circled around the stranded ship, and the people on board were discussing something vigorously.I heard the voices of these men's voices echoing across the still water. ①The British Shipping Registry Association publishes yearbooks, specifying the class and tonnage of ships. I left the jetty and the cove and climbed the trail over the cliff towards the onlookers.There was no sign of Maxim anywhere.Frank was there, speaking to a coast guard.Seeing Frank, I was a little embarrassed for a moment, and quickly retracted my body.Less than an hour ago, wasn't I still crying to him on the phone?I stood by in a dilemma.But he caught sight of me and waved to me.I walked up to him and the coast guard guy, and the guard guy knew me. "Come to see the fun, Mrs. de Winter?" he said to me, smiling. "I'm afraid it's going to be tricky; I don't think it's possible for the tugboat to turn the bow around. The boat is stuck on that reef and can't move." "What are they going to do?" I said. "Send divers down right now to see if the keel has been broken," he replied. "There's a diver over there in a red conical cap. Would you like to use this mirror?" I took his binoculars and looked at the boat, and saw a group of people checking the stern with wide-eyed eyes, and one of them was gesticulating at something; the man in the lifeboat was still shouting with a microphone. Chris' harbormaster was already aboard the stern of the stranded vessel; divers in wool caps sat on standby in the harbormaster's gray launch. The sightseeing steamboat full of tourists was still circling the big boat blindly. A female passenger stood in the boat and took a photo.A flock of seagulls landed on the water, chattering foolishly, expecting some crumbs of food to feed them. I gave the binoculars back to the coast guard. "There doesn't seem to be any progress," I said. "The divers will be in the water shortly," the coast guard said. "Of course, there's always a bit of haggling at the beginning, and that's what it's all about with foreigners. Look, here comes the tugboat." "Tugboats don't do anything," Frank said. "Look at the angle of that boat. It's a lot shallower than I thought it would be." "That patch is far from shore," said the coast guard. "Traveling in that sea in a small boat, you don't usually notice it. But this is a big ship with a deep draft, so it will happen naturally. " "I was in the first cove off the side of the valley when the trumpet blew," said Frank. "Can't see anything beyond three yards. Then suddenly the trumpets sounded." I can't help but think how alike people are in moments of solidarity.Frank's description of hearing the trumpet gun is a rehash of what Frith had just said, as if it mattered and we all cared. In fact, I knew he had gone to the beach to find Maxim; I could see that he was as worried as I was.And now, all of that was forgotten, pushed aside for a while—our phone conversations, our shared anxieties, his repeated reminders that he had to see me.The whole reason for forgetting is that a ship ran aground in the fog. A little boy came running towards us. "Will the crew drown?" asked the little boy. "They won't! The crew's all right, little man," said the Coast Guard. "The sea is as smooth as the back of my hand. This time, no one will be killed or injured." "If something had happened last night we wouldn't have heard the bugle," Frank said. "We set off more than 50 fireworks and a lot of firecrackers." "We can still hear it," said the coast guard. "As soon as we saw the flare of the bugle, we could tell where it was going. Mrs. de Winter, see the diver? He's putting on his helmet." "Show me the diver," said the little boy. "Here, over there," Frank said to him, leaning over and pointing. "That's the man with the helmet on. They're going to take him out of the boat and into the water." "Will he not be drowned?" asked the boy. "Divers never drown," the coast guard said. "They kept pumping oxygen to the diver. Watch how he got into the water. Isn't it going down?" The water swayed for a while, then calmed down again. "He's in the water," said the little boy. "Where's Maxim?" I asked. "He went to Chris with a crew," Frank said. "When the boat ran aground, the man probably lost his head with fright and jumped into the water to escape for his life. We found him holding a piece of rock at the bottom of the cliff here. Of course he was soaked wet and shaking like chaff. This man Naturally, he could not speak a word of English. Maxim climbed down the reef and found that the man had hit the rock, cut a hole, and was bleeding profusely. Maxim spoke German to the sailors, and then called a ship from Chris The launch was swimming around like a hungry shark. Maxim took the sailor to the doctor for bandages. With luck he might catch up while old Phillips was sitting down to lunch. Time, grab him and give him a cure." "When did he leave?" I asked. "You came just as soon as he left," Frank said. "About five minutes ago. Why didn't you see the launch? He sat in the stern with the German sailor." "Probably before I climbed onto the cliff, he was already gone," I said. "Maxim is second to none for this type of thing," Frank said. "He's always helpful if he can. You'll see, he'll have all the crew over at Manderley, feed them, and entertain them for the night." "It's true," said the Coast Guard. "This gentleman takes his coat off and lays it on other people, I know that. It would be great if there were more good-hearted people like him in the county!" "That's right, we need people like that," Frank said. Everyone was still staring at the ship intently.Several tugboats still didn't come up, but the lifeboat turned around and drove back in the direction of Chris. "That lifeboat wasn't supposed to be on watch today," said the coast guard. "Oh," Frank said. "The tugboats can't do anything, as far as I can see. It's time for the merchants who dismantle the hulks to make a fortune." The seagulls circled above our heads, screaming shrilly, like a flock of hungry cats.A few seagulls flew and landed on the rocks at the cliff, and the rest were more courageous and flew past the sea beside the boat. The coast guard took off his cap and wiped his forehead. "There doesn't seem to be a breath of wind, does it?" he asked. "Yeah," I said. The motorboat chugs toward Chris with the photo-shooting tourists. "Those people are tired," said the Coast Guard. "It's no wonder they were there," Frank said. "Nothing new for a few hours. Wait for the diver's report before they turn the boat around." "That's true," said the Coast Guard. "I don't see much point in staying here," Frank said. "We can't get in again. I want to have lunch." Because I didn't say anything, he also hesitated and didn't move.I felt him staring at me. "How are you going?" he asked. "I want to stay here a little longer," I said. "You can have lunch at any time. It's a cold meal anyway. It doesn't matter if you eat it early or late. I want to see how the divers operate." For some reason, I have no face to talk to Frank alone at this time.I'd rather be alone than gossip with some stranger, like this Coast Guard guy right now. "You won't see anything interesting anymore," Frank said. "There won't be any more anecdotes. Why don't you come back with me for some lunch?" "No," I said. "I really don't want to eat..." "Well, then," said Frank, "you know where to find me if you need anything. I'll be in the office all afternoon." "Okay," I said. He nodded to the coast guard, climbed down the cliff, and walked towards the cove.I don't know if I annoy him. To say I was offended, I was helpless.These unpleasant things will all be resolved someday, someday in the future, and since talking to him on the phone, there have been so many incidents that I don't want to worry about anything anymore. I just want to sit quietly on the cliff, looking at the wrecked ship. "He's a good man, I mean Mr. Crawley," said the coast guard. "Yes," I said. "He'd go through fire and water for Mr. de Winter," he said. "Yeah, I think he's helpful too," I said. The little boy was still jumping and playing on the grass in front of us. "How long does it take for a diver to surface again?" the little boy asked. "It's early, boy," said the coast guard. A woman in a light red striped blouse and a hairnet walks across the grass.come towards us. "Charlie, Charlie, where are you?" the woman called as she walked. "Your mother is here, wait to be scolded," said the coast guard. "Mom, I saw the diver," the boy yelled. The woman smiled and nodded to us.The man didn't know me, he was a vacationer from Chris. "The good show is probably over, isn't it?" said the woman. "People on the cliffs over there say the boat is bound to run aground for days." "Everyone is waiting for the diver's report," the coast guard said. "I don't understand how they manage to send divers into the water," the woman said. "It must be good." "They did pay a lot of money," the coast guard said. "Mom, I want to be a diver," said the little boy. "You'll have to ask your father, baby," the woman said, smiling at us. "It's a beautiful place, isn't it?" the woman said to me. "We brought something to eat for a picnic at noon, and we had a foggy day and a shipwreck. We were going back to Chris when the gun blew. , but suddenly there was a loud noise, as if firing right under our noses, and I was startled. 'Oh, what's that sound?' I asked my husband, 'That's a shipwreck signal,' he said, 'Let's not Go back and see the excitement.' I can't drag him back anyway, he is as incurable as my youngest son. As for me, I really don't think there is anything to look at." "Well, there's not much to see now," said the Coast Guard. "The forest over there is so beautiful, it must be private property," said the woman. The coast guard coughed unnaturally and gave me a wink. I chewed a piece of grass in my mouth and deliberately looked away. "Yes, it's all private property," he said. "My husband said that sooner or later these big estates will be demolished and replaced with bungalows," the woman said. "I think it would be nice to have a nice little bungalow here facing the sea. But I probably won't like the winter here." "You're right. It's pretty deserted around here in winter," said the coast guard. I was still chewing on the grass stalks; the little boy ran back and forth in circles.The coast guard looked at his watch and said, "Well, I have to go. Goodbye!" He saluted me and turned back down the path toward Chris. "Come on, Charlie, and find your father," said the woman. She gave me a friendly nod and strolled towards the edge of the cliff, the little boy running after her.A thin man in khaki shorts and a striped blazer waved to the woman.The three of them sat on the floor by a clump of gorse bushes as the woman opened paper bags of food. How I wish I could put aside my identity and be one of them, munching on hard-boiled eggs and canned sandwiches, laughing and chatting with them, and then strolling back with them in the afternoon. Chris, raced on the beach, and when they returned to their residence, everyone had sea prawns as a snack.But all this is impossible.I still had to go back to Manderley alone through the woods and wait for Maxim.As for what the two of them will talk about, what kind of eyes he will look at me, and whether his voice will be sad or angry when he speaks, I don't know.Sitting on the cliff, I didn't feel hungry at all, and I didn't think about lunch at all. There were more idlers, and they all climbed up the mountain to see the ship.This was the number one sensational story of the afternoon.The idlers were all vacationers from Chris, and I didn't know any of them.The sea is as calm as a mirror.The seagulls no longer hovered overhead, but landed on the water not far from the stranded ship.In the afternoon, more sightseeing motorboats came; for Chris' boaters, this day was nothing less than a grand festival.The divers surfaced but then submerged again.One tugboat sailed away puffing smoke, while the other stayed close by.The Harbormaster left the scene in a gray motorboat with several people with him, including divers who resurfaced.On the wrecked ship, sailors leaned over the side, throwing crumbs of food at seagulls.The tourists on the sightseeing boat paddled slowly and circled the big boat back and forth.There is nothing new at all!It was the lowest tide at this time, and the ship was heeling so badly that even the propeller could be seen clearly.Layers upon layers of white clouds appeared in the sky on the right side; the sun looked pale and feeble; it was still hot enough.The woman in the red striped blouse with the little boy stood up and strolled down the path in the direction of Chris; the man in shorts followed with a picnic basket. I looked at my watch, it was past three o'clock.I stood up and walked down the hill toward the cove.The bay was as quiet and deserted as ever, and the pebbles were a deep dark gray.The sea water in the small port is shining brightly, like a mirror.There was an odd crunch under my feet as I walked over the boulders, and the overlapping clouds now filled the sky overhead, and the sun penetrated them.When I came to the side of Xiaowanzi near the sea, I saw Bain squatting in the sea between two rocks, collecting small conch shells in his palm.I walked past him, and the shadow was cast on the water.Bane looked up, saw me, and immediately grinned. "Good day," he said. "Good afternoon," I said. He hurriedly stood up, and unfolded a dirty towel, which was full of small conch shells he had picked up. "Do you eat this stuff?" he asked. I didn't want to hurt his feelings, so I said, "Thank you." He poured five or six conch shells into my hands, and I stuffed them into the two pockets of my shirt. "It tastes good with bread and butter," he said. "You have to cook them first." "Yes, I understand," I said. He stood there smiling silly at me. "See that steamer?" he asked. "See you," I said. "Stranded, right?" "What?" he said. "The boat is aground," I repeated. "There may have been a hole in the bottom of the boat." His face suddenly lost expression, and he put on a silly look. "That's right," he said. "She's fine down there. She won't be coming back. " "When the tide comes up, maybe the tugboat can pull the boat away," I said. He didn't answer, but turned to look at the stranded ship outside the bay.From here the side of the ship could be seen, the exposed hull below the waterline, painted red in contrast to the black upper part.That one and only chimney tilted its head complacently to the cliff in the distance.The sailors were still leaning on the side to feed the seagulls, staring at the water, and the boat was rowing four Chriss. "It's a German ship, isn't it?" Bane said. "I don't know," I said. "I don't know if it's from Germany or Holland." "It must have broken where it hit the reef," he said. "I'm afraid so," I said. He grinned again and wiped his nose with the back of his hand. "The boat is going to crumble piece by piece," he said. "It won't just sink to the bottom of the sea like the boat last time." He smiled contentedly, and stretched out his fingers to pick his nose.I said nothing. "The fish have eaten her up, haven't they?" he said. "Who?" I asked. He raised his thumb and gestured toward the sea. "Her," he said. "The other one." "Fish don't eat boats, Baine," I said. "What?" he asked, staring at me with that stupid look again. "I have to go home," I said. "goodbye." I left him and walked up the path through the woods, avoiding a glance at the beach hut.I knew the cabin was on my right, gloomy and silent.I stepped straight into the path, uphill through the woods.Walking halfway, I stopped my steps and took a short rest. Through the bushes, I could still see the stranded ships leaning towards the coast.The sightseeing yachts have all left, and the sailors on the wrecked ship have also disappeared into the cabins below.Layers upon layers of clouds covered the entire sky.I don't know from which direction a light wind blows and blows head-on.A leaf fell from overhead and landed on my hand.I shivered inexplicably.Then the wind stopped and the day became as sultry as before.The ship was tilted and couldn't move, there was no one on the deck, and the slender black chimney pointed to the coast, how desolate it was!The sea was calm, so there was only a measured sound of the water washing over the pebbles in the cove.I moved again, along the path, through the woods.I just felt that my legs were not in control, my steps were reluctant, my head was heavy, and my heart was filled with a strange premonition. I walked out of the woods and across the lawn.The house looked so peaceful, like a hidden hiding place guarded by people, and its heroic appearance was more than ever.I stood on the edge of the grass slope, looking at the house below, confused and proud intertwined strangely, maybe it was the first time I really realized that this is my home, my home is here, and Manderley belongs to me.The mullioned windows reflected the plants and the potted flowers on the terrace.A wisp of smoke was slowly rising into the sky from a chimney.The freshly mown grass on the lawn smelled sweet like hay.A thrush twittered on the chestnut tree, and a yellow butterfly flapped its wings wildly in front of me and flew towards the platform. I went into the house, through the foyer, and into the dining room.My cutlery was still there, but Maxim's had been removed.There was cold pork and cold salad left for me on the sideboard.I hesitated for a while, then reached out and rang the bell, and Robert entered the room from behind the curtain. "Mr. de Winter back?" I asked. "Yes, ma'am," said Robert. "He came back after two o'clock, hurriedly finished his lunch and left. He asked about you, and Frith said he was probably on the beach looking at the stranded boat." "Did the master say when he would be back?" I asked. "No, ma'am." "Maybe, he went the other way to the beach," I said. "We just missed it." "Yes, ma'am," said Robert. I looked at the cold pork and cold salad, and although I felt empty in my stomach, I didn't want to eat.At the moment, I don't want to eat cold pork. "You're having lunch now?" asked Robert. "No," I said. "No. Bring me tea, Robert, to the library, please. No cakes, pancakes, etc. A cup of tea, and bread and butter." "Yes, ma'am." I went into the library and sat down on the window seat.I felt uncomfortable without Jesper around.The puppy must be by Maxim's side.The old dog slept soundly in the crate.I picked up The Times, flipped through the pages, but read nothing.I feel a little weird about myself right now, like I'm standing still and waiting for time, or I'm sitting in a dentist's waiting room.I know that at this time, I will never be able to settle down to do knitting, and I will not be able to read books.I'm waiting for something to happen!Some kind of unforeseen accident.I had had enough of the morning's apprehensions, and then the grounding of the ship and the absence of lunch-all this gave me some latent excitement in the back of my mind which I could not comprehend.I seem to have stepped into a new stage in my life, and everything has become different from yesterday.The woman who was dressed last night for the masquerade ball has remained in the past, and it seems a long time since the ball.I am a newcomer sitting by the window now, a newcomer who has undergone a transformation... Robert brought me tea, and I devoured the bread and butter.He also brought some pancakes and sandwiches, and a piece of cake.He must have thought it unseemly to serve bread and butter alone, and certainly not Manderley's old custom.I was delighted to see pancakes and cakes, and only then did I remember that I hadn't even eaten breakfast, except for a few sips of cold tea at half past eleven in the morning.I had had my third cup of tea when Robert came in again. "Mr. de Winter hasn't spoken yet, ma'am," he said. "No," I said. "What's the matter? Someone is looking for him?" "Yes, ma'am," said Robert. "Cris' harbor master, Captain Searle, called to see the master. He asked if it was okay for him to come here and talk to Mr. de Winter himself." "I don't know how to answer," I said. "He may not come back for a long time." "Yes, ma'am." "Go and tell him to call back at five," I ordered.Unexpectedly, Robert left the room for a while, and came back again. "Captain Sale said he would like to speak to you if it was convenient, ma'am," said Robert. "The Colonel said it was a matter of urgency. He called Mr. Crawley, but there was no answer." "Well, if it's urgent, of course I must see him," I said. "Tell him to come right away if he wants to. Does he have a car?" "I suppose so, ma'am." Robert went out of the room.I wondered to myself, what should I say to Captain Sale?This man's visit must have something to do with the grounding of the ship, but I don't know what it's about Maxim.If the boat ran aground in a small bay, that's a different matter, because the bay is within the boundaries of Manderley Park. Maybe they want to blow up the reef or take other rescue measures, so they come to ask Maxim. agreed.But neither the open public bay nor the submerged reef belonged to Maxim.It was a waste of time for Captain Sale to talk to me about this. This person must have got in the car and started after putting down the phone, so within a quarter of an hour he was ushered into the library. 他身穿制服，还是那身下午一两点钟光景我在望远镜里看到的打扮。我从临窗的座位上站起，同他握手。“很抱歉我丈夫还没回来，塞尔海军上校，”我说。“他一定又上了海边的悬崖。在这之前，他进城到过克里斯。我一整天没见他人影。” “不错，我听说他到过克里斯，可是我没在城里遇上他，”港务长说。“他一准翻过那几座山头步行回来了，而当时我还坐着汽艇留在海上。另外，克劳利先生也到处找不到。” “恐怕那艘船一出事，大家都乱了套啦，”我说。“我也在山头上看热闹，午饭也没吃。我知道，克劳利先生方才也在那儿。这艘船现在怎么办？您说拖轮能把它拖开吗？” 塞尔海军上校用双手在空中划了个大圈。“船底撞破了个洞，有这么大，”他说。 “船开不回汉堡啦，这事不用咱们操心，尽可让船主和劳埃德协会的代办去商量着解决。 不，德温特夫人，我不是为了那艘船才登门拜访的。当然，船只出事也可以说是我来访的间接原因。简单点说，我有消息向德温特先生奉告，可我简直不知道用什么方法对他说才好。“他那双明亮的蓝眼睛笔直地望着我。 “什么样的消息，塞尔海军上校？” 他从衣袋掏出一块白色的大手帕，攥了攥鼻子，然后才说：“呃，德温特夫人，向您奉告，我同样觉得很为难，我实在不愿给您和您丈夫带来苦恼和悲痛。您知道，咱们克里斯城的人都热爱德温特先生。这个家族始终不吝于造福公众。我们无法让往事就此埋没，这对他对您都是很痛苦的，不过鉴于目前的情况，又实在不得不重提往事。”他顿了片刻，把手帕塞回衣袋，接着，尽管屋子里只有他同我两人，他却压着嗓门往下说：“我们派潜水员下去察看船底，这人在底下发现了重要情况。事情的大概经过是这样：他发现船底的大洞之后，就潜向船的另一侧检查，看看是否还有其他遭受损坏的部位。这时，他不期然在大船的一侧碰上一艘小帆船的龙骨，那龙骨完好无损，一点没撞破。当然罗，潜水员是本地人，他一眼就认出那原来是已故德温特夫人的小帆船。” 我的第一个反应是感恩不尽，幸好迈克西姆不在场。昨晚我的化装惹出一场风波，紧接着又来这么一下新的打击，真是老天捉弄人，太可怕了！ “我很难过，”我一字一顿地说。“这种事谁也没料到。是不是非告诉德温特先生不可？难道不能让帆船就这么沉在海底算了？又碍不着谁的，是不是？” “德温特夫人，在正常情况下自然可以让沉船留在海底。这个世界上，我要算最不愿意去打扰这艘沉船的人了；另外，正如我刚才所说，要是我有办法使德温特先生免受刺激，我甘愿作出任何牺牲。但事情并不到此为止，德温特夫人。我派出的潜水员在小帆船前后左右察看了一番，发现另一个更加重要的情况，船舱的门关得严严实实，海浪并没把它打穿；舷窗也都关闭着。潜水员从海底捡了块石头，砸碎一扇舷窗，伸头往舱里张望，船舱里满是水，一定是船底某处有个洞，海水就从那儿涌了进来，除此之外，看不出船上还有其他受到破坏的部位。可是接下来，潜水员看到了有生以来最骇人的景象，德温特夫人。” 塞尔海军上校收住话头，回头一望，像是怕被仆人偷听了去。“舱里躺着一具尸骸，”他轻声说。“当然，尸体已经腐烂，肌肉都消蚀了。不过还能看出那确是一具尸体，潜水员辨认出头颅和四肢。接着，他就浮上水面，直接向我报告了详情。现在您该明白了，德温特夫人，为什么我非见您丈夫不可。” 我瞪眼望着他，始而莫名其妙，继而大惊失色，接着胸口一阵难过。简直想吐。 “都以为她是独自出海去的，”我轻声哺哺着。“这么说来，自始至终一定有人跟她在一起，而别人全不知道？” “看来是这么一回事，”港务长说。 “那会是谁呢？”我问。“要是有人失踪，家属亲人肯定会发现的。当时都沸沸扬扬传说这件事，报上也是连篇累牍的报道。可是这两位航海人，怎么一个留在舱内，德温特夫人的尸体却过了几个月在好几英里之外被捞了起来？” 塞尔海军上校摇摇头说：“我同您一样，猜不透其中底细。我们掌握的全部情况就是舱里有具尸骸，而这事又非上报不可。我怕事情会因此同个满城风雨，德温特夫人。 我想不出有什么办法可以封住人们的嘴。对您和德温特先生说来，这是桩很不愉快的事情。你们二位在这儿安安静静过日子，希望生活美满，可偏偏出了这样的事。 " 我现在明白了自己为什么有不祥的预感。原来，凶险的不是那艘搁浅的船，也不是那些厉声怪叫的海鸥，或是那根朝着海岸倾斜的细长的黑烟囱。可怕的乃是那纹丝不动的暗黑色的海水及水底下的秘密；可怕的是潜水员下潜到冰凉、寂寥的海底，偶然中撞上了吕蓓卡的船和吕蓓卡旅伴的尸体。此人的手已摸过那条船，他还曾朝船舱里张望；与此同时，我却坐在海边悬崖上，对这些事一无所知。 “要是不必对他说起，”我说，“要是能把整个事情瞒着他，那就好了。” “您知道，德温特夫人，只要有可能，我一定会瞒着他的，”港务长说。“但是事情关系重大，我个人的好恶只得撇在一边。我得履行职责。发现了尸体，我非上报不可。”他突然停住，因为正在这时门开了，迈克西姆走进屋来。 “你好，”他说，“出了什么事了？我不知道大驾光临，塞尔海军上校。有何见教？” 我再也忍受不下去，只好还自己怯懦妇人的本来面目，走出藏书室，顺手把门带上。 我甚至没敢往迈克西姆的脸看一眼，只是依稀觉得他没戴帽子，穿着很不整洁，一副疲惫不堪的神态。 我傍着正门，站在大厅里，杰斯珀正从盆子里饮水，舌头舔得好不热闹。狗见了我。 顿时摇尾乞怜，一面则继续喝水。喝够了水，长耳狗慢腾腾跨着大步跑到我跟前，后肢着地站立着，用前肢搔我的衣服。我吻了一下狗的额头，接着就走过去在平台坐下。危机终于降临了，我得面对现实才好。多少时间以来郁积的恐惧，我的怯懦，我的腼腆羞态，我那种百般驱之不去的自卑感——眼下这一切非克服不可，都得暂时靠边站。这一回要是再失败，那就一辈子输定了，再也不会有另外的机会。我在盲目的绝望中祈祷苍天赐我勇气，狠狠用指甲掐自己的手。我坐着呆呆凝望草坪和平台上的盆花，足足有五分钟之久。然后，我听到车道上有汽车开动的声音。一定是塞尔海军上校，他把事情经过对迈克西姆原原本本交代清楚，就驾车走了。我站起身，拖着缓慢的步子，穿过大厅，往藏书室走去，一边不住地在衣袋里翻弄贝思给我的小海螺，接着又把它们紧紧捏在手里。 迈克西姆站在窗前，背对着我。我在门旁站定，等他转过身来，可他照样一动也没动。我把双手抽出衣袋，走去站在他身旁。我执着他的手，把它贴在自己的脸颊上。他还是一声不吭，站在那儿出神。 “我真难过”，我低声说。“难过极了。”他没有回答我。他的手冰凉冰凉。我吻他的手背，接着吻他的手指，一个接着一个。“我不愿让你独自经受这一切，”我说，“我与你分担。二十四小时之内，迈克西姆，我已长大成人，永远不再是一个小孩了。” 他伸出手臂，把我紧紧搂在身边。什么矜持，什么腼腆，都从我身上一扫而光。我用脸擦着他的肩胛，问道：“你原谅我了吗？” 他总算对我说话了：“原谅你？你做了什么事竟要我原谅？” “昨晚的事，”我说。“你大概以为我是故意的。” “喔，那事我已忘啦，”他说。“我对你发脾气了，是不？” "Yes," I said. 他不再说什么，只是仍然把我紧紧搂着。“迈克西姆，”我说，“我们难道不能一切从头开始？两人不能从今天起同甘共苦吗？我不奢望你爱我，我不作非分之想，让我做你的朋友和伴侣吧，就算一个贴身小厮。我只有这点要求。” 他用双手捧起我的脸，凝视着我。我这才发现他的脸那么瘦削，上面皱纹密布，神容憔悴，眼圈浮肿得厉害。 “你对我的爱究竟有多深？”他问。 我一时答不上来，只能呆呆地看他，望着他失魂落魄的深色双眼和那苍白而憔悴的脸。 “一切都晚啦，宝贝，太晚了，”他说。“我们失去了绝无仅有的过幸福日子的机会。” “不，迈克西姆，别这么说，”我说。 “我要说，”他说。“现在一切全完了。事情终于发生了。” "What's the matter?" I asked. “一直在我料想中的事，日复一日，夜复一夜，我都梦见这事发生。我们注定没好日子过。我是说你我两人。”他在临窗位子上坐下，我跪在他面前，双手搭着他的肩。 “你在说些什么？”我问。 他用自己的双手覆盖着我的手，探究我的脸色。“吕蓓卡得胜了，”他说。 我目不转睛地望着他，心跳的节奏都变得异样了，被他握着的双手顿时变得冰冷。 “她的幽灵老是在你我中间徘徊，”他说。“她那该死的阴影始终横插在你我两人中间。我老在心底犯疑，这事总有一天会暴露出来，怀着这种恐惧心理，我的宝贝儿，我亲爱的小宝贝，我怎么能像现在这样拥抱你呢？我一直记得她临死时看我的眼神，那种慢慢在嘴角荡开的不怀好意的微笑。就在当时她已知道事情会暴露的；她深信自己最终一定会得胜。” “迈克西姆，”我在他耳畔柔声说，“你在说些什么？你都对我说了些什么？” “她的船被人发现了，”他说。“是今天下午被潜水员发现的。” "Not bad," I said. “这我知道。塞尔海军上校来通知的。你是在想那具尸体吧？就是潜水员在船舱里发现的那具尸体。” "Yes," he said. “这说明她当时不是一个人，”我说。“这说明吕蓓卡当时和另一个人一起出航。 你现在得查明这人是谁。就是这么一回事，对吗，迈克西姆？ " "No," he said. “不，你不明白。” “我要同你分担这份愁苦，宝贝，”我说。“让我助你一臂之力。” “谁也没同吕蓓卡在一起，她是独自一人，”他说。 我跪在地上，盯着他的脸，盯着他的双眼。 “船舱里躺着的是吕蓓卡的尸体，”他说。 "No," I said. "no." “埋入墓穴的不是吕蓓卡，”他说。“那是一个没人认领无名女尸。当时压根儿没发生什么海难事故。吕蓓卡不是淹死的。是我杀了她。我在小海湾处的海滩小屋开枪打死了吕蓓卡，接着把她的尸体拖进船舱，当夜把船开出去，让她沉没在今天他们发现她的地方。死在船舱里的是吕蓓卡。现在请你看着我的眼睛告诉我，你还爱我吗？