Chapter 14 Chapter Twelve

The next day, Ruth left her mother at her aunt's house, and came to her mother's house by herself to help her sort out what things should be taken to Miramar Manor.She had included most of the furniture in her mother's bedroom on her list of items to take, along with the towels and sheets that Rulling had been reluctant to use.But should I take my mother's paintings and pens and inks with me?Maybe seeing this made her think of the days when her mind was quick and her hands were quick, and she felt sad by comparison.But one thing Ruth was sure of: she wasn't going to take that plastic easy chair to Mom.This thing is definitely going to be thrown away.She was going to buy Mama a new chair, much better than this one, a plush easy chair with a burgundy leather upholstery.Just thinking about it like this, Ruth already felt very proud. Her mother's eyes flashed with surprise and gratitude. She stretched out her hand to test whether the cushion was soft enough, and she muttered: "Oh, it's so soft, it's not bad."

In the evening, she drove to Bruno's to meet Art.Years ago, the two of them used to meet at Bruno and spend the night together.There are separate rooms in the restaurant where lovers can sit next to each other and caress each other intimately. She parked the car on the corner of the street, looked at her watch, and realized she was fifteen minutes early.She didn't want to go too early and appear too anxious. There was a contemporary bookstore in front of her. She wandered in and went straight to the discounted book counter, as she often did when she went to bookstores.A special offer of $3.98 is prominently affixed to the book covers on a neon green sticker that announces the end of the book's value like a sign on a dead body's toe.Most of the counters are humanities books, biographies, and some celebrity revelations that are only five minutes hot.Suddenly, her eyes fell on such a book: "Nirvana of the World Wide Web: Connecting to a Higher Realm of Consciousness".Ted, who is the author of "Internet Spirituality," said it all right.Ruth had a little gleeful schadenfreude on the subject he was writing about, which had become so popular now that it was outdated.On the literary counter were many novels, mostly by contemporary writers who were not yet famous.She picked up a thin little book, which lay safe in the palm of her hand, as if asking Ruth to take it home and read it by the soft light of the bedside.She picked up another book, held it in her hand, flipped through a few pages, stopping here and there casually.Ruth found these books very attractive, like a prism, reflecting the lives of different people in different times.She also felt a vague sympathy for the books, as if they were puppies in an animal shelter, abandoned for no reason, still hoping to be loved.Finally, Ruth walked out of the bookstore with a pack of five books in her arms.

Art sat at the bar in Bruno's restaurant, which was decorated in a Fifties style. "You seem to be having a good time," Art said. "Really?" Ruth immediately felt a little embarrassed.Lately, it's always been Wendy, Gideon, and others telling Ruth how you look in a mood, that she's looking annoyed, annoyed, or bewildered, surprised, and so on .And every time someone said that, Ruth always didn't feel it.Obviously something was revealed on her face, but how could she not be aware of these emotional changes? The head waiter of the restaurant took the two of them to a small booth, which had been recently renovated and the seats were covered with comfortable leather upholstery, in the style of an exclusive club.The restaurant is decorated in a nostalgic style, making people feel as if nothing has changed in the past half a century, except that the prices of vegetables keep rising, and some new cold dishes have been added to the menu, such as fish eggs, squid and so on. of.While the two were looking at the menu, the waiter brought a bottle of champagne and brought it to their table.

"I ordered it," Art said softly, "for our anniversary...don't you remember? Naked yoga? Your gay buddy? We've known each other for ten years." Ruth laughed heartily.How could she not remember?When the waiter was pouring the wine, she softly replied, "I thought you, a pervert, had pretty feet." The waiter went out, leaving only the two of them in the cubicle.Art raised his glass and said, "Cheers to our tenth anniversary. Although there are some small problems in the middle, most of the time we are together is still very happy. I hope we can return to that kind of happiness." He held his hand Put it on Ruth's lap, and said, "We should try it next time."

"what?" "Naked yoga." Ruth couldn't help but her heart jumped up.Living with my mother for the past few months has made her as shy as a big girl now. "Hey honey, how about coming to my place when you're done?" Hearing this, Ruth was very excited. The waiter stood in front of them again, ready to take their order. "The lady and I would like oysters to start," Art said. "We are dating for the first time, and we want to have some dishes that are the most aphrodisiac. Which do you think is more suitable?" "Then order Kumamoto oysters," the waiter replied without changing his expression.

They didn't make love right away that night, they were lying in bed, Art hugging her, the bedroom window open, listening to the whispering of the foghorn outside.He said: "Over the years we have been together, I feel that I don't understand a very important part of you. You hide the secret in your heart, so I can't figure it out. It's like I have never seen your naked body. Imagine what you look like behind the curtain." "I didn't mean to hide anything," Ruth wondered again as soon as the words came out.But, looking back, who in the world would face it calmly and express the fear and resentment deep in their hearts?If so, how tiring would it be?What did he mean by secret?

"I want the two of us to be closer. I want to know what do you want? Not just for our relationship, but for your life. What do you want? What makes you happiest? It's up to you Is there something you really want to do?" She smiled uneasily. "These are exactly the kinds of soul-searching books I edit and rewrite for other people. I could write ten chapters on how to find happiness, and never really know what happiness is." "Why do you always push me away?" Ruth put on her guard like a hedgehog.She didn't like Art talking like that, as if he knew himself better than Ruth herself.She felt Art shake her arm.

"Sorry, I shouldn't have said this. I didn't want to make you nervous, I just wanted to get to know you. When I told the waiter that this was our first date, in a way, I meant it. I Trying to pretend I just met you, it was love at first sight, I want to know who you are. I love you, Ruth, but I don't know you. I want to know who this woman I love is, that's all." Ruth leaned into his arms and said softly, "I don't know, and I don't know. Sometimes I feel like I'm just a pair of eyes and ears, just trying to figure out what's going on around me and make myself feel safe." I'm like some children, living in an environment full of gunshots, thinking that I don't want to suffer, I don't want to die, I don't want to see people around me die, but I don't have the energy to look into my heart and find my place , or ask yourself what you want. If you ask me what I really want, then let me know what I can want.”