Chapter 6 Part Two: Marriage 1-1

1 they got married. A hasty marriage.At the end of July 1950. "No time for an engagement. Neither Dirk nor I believe in petty bourgeois practices." When Aaliyah said this, she was panting, biting her lip, and almost couldn't help laughing. But Dirk Burnaby said a little darkly: "When it's love at first sight, you might as well just give in. Your fate is already sealed." Destined to be happy!At least the lovers believe so. They got married, much to the astonishment of everyone who knew them.Especially these relatives, friends and acquaintances of the Littrell family in Troy, New York. "Of course, no one agreed with us," Aaliyah said, "but we were determined not to care." She was about to say, "We were determined not to curse," but held back.

Because of falling in love with Dirk Burnaby, because the love is so sweet, Alia often has to suppress her thoughts from speaking out, she is really afraid that she will not be able to control herself and make herself talk nonsense, say bad things, and tell the truth . In her 30s, Aaliyah has found not just love, but sex.Not just sex, but sex with Dirk Burnaby.People call it making love. "Make love", oh, what a fitting name!It will make you outspoken, surprise you, and offend you.It will inspire you to say things you hadn't even dreamed of saying—while before, you've tried (and most of the time, you've tried to) to be dignified, well-groomed, a clergyman's daughter, a "Your Madam".

Dirk said, "We can't care about the objections of other people, whether it's your family or my mother." He paused, then stared at a spot on the floor, as if interested in it.Perhaps he remembered another person—Alia's ex-husband, Erskine. "Yeah, we can't care, and we really don't. We're married, that's all." Alia continued, "No, it should be said, that's it." Alia touched her husband, in her own way.The kind of "secret tickle" that she tries to be perfect.Dirk's gaze, which originally wanted to be serious and unsmiling, suddenly became immersed in a kind of desire.

They're married, and Aaliyah laughs: "We could do this anytime, right? My God." "My God, what do you mean." Dirk tickled Alia too, and in his own way Alia gasped with laughter, screamed and begged for mercy.The daughter of a pastor in Troy, New York, had never done anything like it, not even in imagination. They were married and lived in a brownstone in Luna Park, Niagara Falls.Here, they make love non-stop.Almost non-stop. Alia knew that one day Dirk would leave her.But she never thought about it, so she was happy. Don't think about it.Don't be a psychopath.

Alia guided herself in this way.In this miraculous marriage, Alia wanted to be a real woman through and through. Alia was to be a lovely woman, free from restraint.They would have wine with dinner every day, and Dirk would pour it into crystal glasses. That sinister yet touching feeling.Like melted honey, it flowed all over Alicia's body. "I love love love you." Sometimes, with a chuckle, Dirk would lift her up in both hands, slam her on his shoulders, and carry her upstairs. She is not pregnant yet.Hmm, maybe pregnant? Don't be a psychopath, Alia! Aaliyah often had a bottle of wine with her when they went upstairs.Especially Chianti.As soon as the wine is opened, as long as the wine is not completely drunk, you will think that it cannot be soured.

They got married and never looked back. Their squeaky brass bed was on the top floor of the house - the third floor of 7 Luna Park!It was a bachelor bedroom, with silvery French wallpaper on the walls and a mint green Chinese rug so thick it was a pleasure to walk on with bare feet.Newer Neo-Georgian homes less than half a mile from the Niagara Gorge.In this house, if the windows are not closed on a summer night, moths will hit the screens one after another, like thoughts trembling deep in the heart.From a distance, they could still hear the never-ending murmur of the Great Falls. They got married and relived their youth.

Even, younger than the childhood in memory. "I grew up in 'Charlotte.'" "I grew up in a priest's house." "We are superior because we have money." "We are superior because we have God." They laughed loudly, shaking with laughter, and hugged each other tightly.They were all naked, like two eels.There were many (twenty!) toes covered under the quilt at the foot of the bed. They also don't think about how accidental it was that they met, fell in love, and got married. They never considered how much their lives would have been lost if that one hadn't plunged into Horseshoe Falls.

Yeah, you're never going to be a psycho again. They got married and became each other's best friends. And they both realized that he himself had never found a real friend before. They were married, and Dirk Burnaby was cured of his legendary insomnia. Dirk was tall, and Aaliyah's wonderful cooking made him even taller.Still, Dirk found a way to snuggle up next to his wife's bony curves; Think about his annoying problems (about his job, his budget, his increasingly weird mother).Oh, life is so simple.this is life. Alia stayed awake, holding Dirk in her arms and stroking him gently.She didn't want to fall asleep, she just wanted to have fun.Looking at Dirk, she was content.This man is her husband!Her man! Dirk was the most wonderful man she had ever met, without thinking about it.Not to mention to touch, to kiss.He might be the wonderful guy every Troy, NY girl dreams of.Alia had seen the way the women on the street peeked at him.Maybe someday she'll be jealous, but not yet.

Arya gently stroked Dirk's shoulders, his forehead, and the hard stubble on his chin.She adores Dirk Burnaby's body, tall and powerful, a guy who fills up so much space in her life.Alia had a hard time remembering what her life had been like before she met him.That is simply not life.Life has not yet begun.Alia stroked Dirk's hair, brushing it away from his eyes.His hair was a beautiful blond, thick and bouncy, and not a single strand of gray could be found.Sometimes the hair would give her a fit of jealousy.Because, Alia's own so-called red hair was fading dramatically.Gray, silver, and even white hair have all invaded.You could feel (you could observe) all the shock she had when she saw it.Her face was still girlish, but there was already gray hair on her head.Soon, she'll be like a banshee.But she is very conceited and doesn't want to dye her hair. (Perhaps she is not conceited enough?)

Dirk was fast asleep, and seemed to be growing heavier on one side.He breathed through his mouth, whistling indistinctly.Alia liked the sound of it.She kissed Dirk on the forehead and heard him whisper to her in her dream, barely audible, not very clear, but very much like saying... Leah, love you.Then Dirk fell into his sleep again.He sleeps eight hours almost every day.Since they are now successfully married, why not.Aaliyah tried to shift her naked, sticky body so that her arms, her legs, her body would not go numb.Her husband's huge size had blocked her blood circulation.Aaliyah loves this body.During sex, she wanted Dirk to crush her, flatten her, want to suffocate her. "Oh, come on! Deeper!" When the man entered her body, the feeling was very strange, as if it surrounded her whole body.They were like a hand and the glove of the hand, so perfectly matched that it was incredible.Although no matter who it is, they can tell at a glance that they are not the same size at all.

Whispers from the distant Grand Canyon.Whispers from their blood. Maybe she's pregnant?What a surprise Dirk would have been in that case. Or maybe there's nothing surprising about it.In Troy, where Aaliyah lived, they hadn't used any contraception.There hasn't been any since.Maybe they already know each other and want to have a child? You only live once.Alia learned the phrase from Dirk.She felt that these words were so fateful and yet so optimistic. You only live once.She couldn't help but smile, this sentence seemed to release her, let her do whatever she wanted. They got married and every night was an adventure. In the deepest part of Aaliyah's life, the most private part, the man was new, sometimes without a name. Then call him "husband". She hugged this her "husband" tightly.Her lightly speckled arms were slender but powerful.Cunning and reckless strength.Since she was eight years old, Alia has been playing the piano, and practiced playing scales with intoxication and sleeplessness. Her arms, waist, and fingers have been trained to be strong and powerful.At this moment, Alia was amazed that with this arm, she could hold this unusual man in her arms and keep it for herself.But she is still very humble.She might even be a little freaked out.Alia knew that God (she didn't believe in God, at least not during the day) would snatch Dirk away from her at any moment. They will have sex during the day and also at night.Making love during the day (like eating chocolate before meals, with a sneaky twist), like the novelty of married life, always wears off, albeit almost imperceptibly.Yet at night the love-making was still fierce and reverent.After sex, Dirk would be snuggled up next to Aaliyah, sweet as a baby.At this time, Alia would gently pat her husband, caress his burly and fit body, push the hair in front of his eyes, and murmur: "Dear husband, I love you!" What other wife would love her husband so much.She believes that her estranged parents must have never been so in love with each other.Besides, the Littrells were well past middle age.Alia felt sorry for them.And terrified of the example of life they set for themselves.That would never happen to me.It will never happen to this man and me. Alia smiled and remembered what a gloomy, dull, willful girl Alia Littrell had been, growing up in the vicar's house under the watchful eyes of her older brothers and sisters, with sharp teeth and arms The nimble, straight-A schoolgirl was a constant nuisance in church (privately), especially when her father was at mass.However, it is said that she should not get everything, but she is very happy now. Alia had been Mrs. Dirk Burnaby for just fifteen days when, one night, through the pane beside his bed, he saw a sickle-shaped moon in the sky.Through the heavy night fog, the moon has become a blinking eye.Alia was patting her sleeping husband in her arms.She wants to protect him forever!Her eyelids suddenly jumped.Aaliyah slowly closed her eyes, and then she tried to open them again, trying to see her husband clearly across the huge Niagara Canyon-what was it?A tight rope?Is it just a tight rope?Dirk had his back to her, his beautiful blond hair dancing in the wind.He wore a priest's attire and carried a 12-foot bamboo pole for balance.This kind of thing is similar to performing in a circus, isn't it courting death here?And it's windy here.Why did he do this?Why when they love each other so much? By the river, Aaliyah leaned against an iron railing that pinched her waist.She yelled at him, in a shrill, terrible voice: "Come back! I love you! You can't leave me!" 2 They were married, in love, in a hurry. Regardless of all gossip, discussion and condemnation.Regardless of tearful public disapproval.how can you do thiswhat are you thinking?Think only for yourself?How many days had Gilbert been dead?Aren't you ashamed? The wedding was a simple notarial ceremony, not even in a church, not in the bride's hometown of Troy.It's in Niagara Falls.It was just a private ceremony in the city hall, and even relatives were not invited.Shameless! Alicia's heart was beating violently.She doesn't cry. She doesn't want to cry anymore, she is so happy now. Alia explained solemnly: "Yes, there is a bit of shame about it. Shame is like an overturned trash can, but it is shame that piles up the world. Remember the concentration camps? Those of the Nazis? Bodies piled up like lumber There. The 'survivors' are all skinny. In my life, you can see the same picture. They and I live in the same history. So, you too should be ashamed, even ashamed .But you know, Dirk Burnaby and I don't share your shame. We love each other and have no reason to pretend not to. Especially since we don't feel our private affairs are any of your business." These few short sentences are so wonderfully spoken, they are almost flawless.However, Alia's lower lip trembled slightly, revealing her inner emotions. Mrs. Littrell was outraged.Reverend Littrell, furious as Jesus was when he drove the moneylender from the temple, would never allow his daughter to come home again. When they are married, they don't need to swear to say that they will never leave, and will never change until death. They are married, and this happiness is not God's business. They are married, and the bride may be pregnant. In the ecstasy of first love, Alia tried not to imagine the outcome of love.In those first days, those first weeks, her brain was completely in the frenzy of love.She's like a dazed little girl dancing!jump!jump!All night long, tireless. I can't tell my husband: I might be pregnant, maybe you're not the father.Like I would not say to him: I know one day you will leave me.I know I will be cursed.But until then, I want to be your lovely wife. They're married, and in a marriage, you're going to want kids.Sooner or later. Marriage means sexual intercourse.Coitus is the physical result of marriage, there is nothing abstract about it. "I have to be realistic." Alya could not help scolding herself.In the ecstasy of a satisfied marriage, she had to ponder these things.They won't go away on their own. One of them: She hadn't had her "period" in weeks. (How she hated that word! She wrinkled her nose as if at the smell.) Her last "period" was April 15, just before Easter.That was long before she was Mrs. Erskine.Aaliyah had no doubts that her menopause was due to panic and worry about her wedding.She is also losing weight.Alia has never achieved the "normal weight" in medical terms.Her puberty (another ugly word) came late too, and she didn't start developing breasts, buttocks, or menstruating (she hated that word) until she was sixteen.The latest in her high school class (at least, one of the last).She hasn't been "regular" (another ugly word to be ashamed of) since then.Mrs. Littrell was a woman with large breasts and hips, and if she had noticed her daughter's physical development, she would have been too embarrassed to talk about it.Later, in high school, when Alia started not having her periods, Mrs. Littlerell took her to the doctor.The doctor stared at the paperweight on his desk and muttered that in Alia's case it was "a developmental delay common to many girls"—"a late bloomer"—and that she might suffer from something called amenorrhea. "No menstruation"!There is no worse word than this. Sitting in Dr. Magruder's clinic, Alia stared at her freckled hands on her lap, the nails marked with bite marks, in utter distress. "No menstruation".Dr. Magruder faltered that it always happened to underweight girls who were "slow" in maturation. This meant that it would be difficult for Alia to conceive after she got married. (Perhaps, as Aaliyah surmises, it could mean that it's hard to know when to conceive unless she runs to the doctor for a pregnancy test, which Aaliyah doesn't want to go to.) (Gosh, it's embarrassing that she has to tell Dirk Burnaby about these annoying women. It's all "women's troubles." The Burnabys are a romantic couple, like Fred A. Steyer and Ginger Rogers. Dance music starts playing as soon as one walks into a room where another is waiting.) They got married, so they became husband and wife. At 7 Luna Park, the characters await them like the monogrammed bathrobes they quickly remove, blissful and grateful. Dirk said in awe, "I can't imagine my life before I met you, Alia. It must have been shallow and empty...like no oxygen." Aliya wiped the tears from the corners of her eyes, unable to think of an answer, but she could remember her life before she met Dirk. At that time, she was the pastor's daughter. apron.She's going to teach music lessons, and she has students, parents, and family.Recalling these lives, Alia felt her throat tightened, almost suffocating.Yes, that's life without oxygen! She ran to her husband (Aaliyah was barefoot in the bedroom with him on a damp, foggy August morning) and put her arms around his waist, placing her small body firmly on his shoulders. In the arms of astonishment. The man's fist-sized heart was pounding against Alia's ear, so powerful it was like a metronome. Dirk.Darling, I feel like I... I might... I sometimes feel, I might... Pregnant? But no.Alia could not mention her fear, nor did she want to see the panic on her husband's face.Not yet. they got married.All the remaining time in each other's lives will become a honeymoon.Of this, they are sure. They were married, and Dirk Burnaby gave his red-haired wife a present: a Steinway baby piano in cherry wood, the most elegant present Ariah had ever received.In the living room, he lit candles, their thin flames reflected on the polished wood of the piano. "Why? Why such an expensive present?" Alia's cry startled her husband.It was a terrible sound. The piano was an anniversary gift, Dirk argued.On this day three months ago, they "saw each other for the first time". It's been three months.Ariah didn't want to calculate what that meant. It's been three months.No, Alia didn't want to think about it. She felt powerless, confused, and dizzy for a while.Maybe it's just because of those Chiantis. That warm, sweet feeling in your belly.The feeling of Chianti. Alia kissed her husband and hugged him tightly.Dirk smiled. "Wow!" He pushed her away gently, and asked Aaliyah to play him a song.She hadn't played the piano, not a single note, since Dirk had driven to Troy that day and called her away. So Alia sat down at the piano and began to play for her husband.Between movements, she would take a sip from a shiny crystal glass.Such a beautiful piano Alia had never touched, let alone played.Tears flooded her eyes and streamed silently down her cheeks.Dirk listened carefully, his big head shaking or nodding to the beat.Alia played for him her favorite passages from girls' recitals.Mozart's Minuet, Chopin's Waltz and Mazurka, Schumann's "Fantasy", Debussy's "Blue Moonlight".At the end of each piece, Dirk erupts in applause.He was deeply and sincerely moved.He was sure that his wife was a gifted pianist and not just an ordinary pianist girl from Troy, New York, with some talent.Decker said he often attends concerts at Buffalo's Clayhan Music Hall.He also went to concerts at Carnegie Hall in Manhattan.In the Capital Opera House, he also had a glimpse of the spectacular and.Dirk's late father, Virgil Burnaby, whom Alia never met, had a collection of Caruso records that Dirk used to listen to as a child.The record is "The Barber of Seville" and "The Flying Dutchman" sung by Caruso, and "Othello" played by Caruso. Alia didn't know how her beautiful and serious playing connected them with the great Caruso, but she knew that there was an element of praise in this connection. Dirk loves her.So, he believes in everything. This is a strange and precious truth.It's like opening your palm to find a tiny, spotted robin's egg inside. they got married.So sudden, and no apology.I didn't post a wedding post, and I didn't think about what to do.Or things don't work as they should. "At least," said Aaliyah, "we didn't elope." Dirk put down the newspaper he was reading, and said with feigned disgust: "Fuck you, Alia, why didn't you think of this sooner?" they got married.A few weeks later, a letter from 7 Luna Park, Niagara Falls, addressed to Mrs. Alia Burnaby arrived. It was written by Mrs. Edna Erskine, and the return address on the envelope was Also her.The three-cent stamp on the envelope was upside down. "It's Gilbert's mom. Oh my god. She wants to know if I'm pregnant. No, that's not possible!" Alia timidly threw the letter away, not daring to open it. they got married.Alia's in-laws, Claudine Burnaby, have warned through Dirk's older sisters, Clarice and Sylvia, that she is "seriously considering" disowning Dirk's family-renunciating son . they got married.Lives in Dirk Burnaby's house at 7 Luna Park.Alia noticed that other women would visit now and then, even if they didn't live here.She knew it was because the neighbors wanted her to get to know each other.Mrs. Cotton, who lives next door, and Mrs. McKay, who lives on the other side of the park.How charming are some of them!It is obvious that she is a singer and dancer.Dirk's sisters, whom Alia had only met twice, wanted to let her know.We never thought Dirk would be tame enough to marry a girl.Our younger brother has always been a spoiled brat. "'Clarice and Sylvia,'" Dirk seemed to be saying those memorable names, "two of the three fates, and one is Claudine." During my first few weeks at Luna Park, there were occasional phone calls.But if Aaliyah answered the phone and said "Hello?", there would be an accusing, relentless silence on the other end. "Here's the Burnabys. Hello?" (Perhaps Aaliyah is getting a little lonely in this new abode, next to the Niagara Canyon, the Great Falls Widow and Bride Bridge has captured the public's imagination, but the place Aaliyah Burnaby doesn't know.) "I know you're there. I can hear your breathing. Who are you?" Aaliyah held the phone, her hand trembling.She was not frightened, but angry.This is her home, and the phone number is hers as well as her husband's.On the phone she could feel the breath of the woman on the other side. "If you're going to talk to Dirk Burnaby, I have to tell you he's not here." Alia wanted to add, "He's married and I'm his wife." But she held back. Sometimes the phone call would come from Dirk's house, too.Alia would never pick up.Not even "overhearing". (She's not that kind of wife. She knew her husband was a bachelor before she met her. But that was a long time ago, months ago.) One guy called Gervin all the time, and another called more, It's called Honey. ("Mier": If there is such a person, she must be a singer and dancer in a nightclub.) And once or twice, a woman named Vi called, and she would introduce herself to Alia first, and then be very polite. Ask, can you speak to "your husband, the litigator"?There had been a letter from Buffalo addressed to "Mr. Dirk Burnaby" in a lavender and perfumed envelope.The abbreviation of the inscription is HT, obviously it was sent by a woman.But Alia wasn't going to see if her husband would open the letter. (Will he actually open it? He will probably throw the letter away out of respect for Aaliyah.) Then the phone starts ringing incessantly early in the morning, waking Decker up. , he was very angry, answered the phone and asked "Hello? Hello?" and said, "If you are the person I know, please don't do it again, this is not what you should do." Finally, Dirk ? Burnaby simply changed the phone number and didn't put the new number in the phone directory. Those mysterious phone calls suddenly stopped.There are no more perfumed letters in the mail. Sitting in front of that Steinway piano, plucking the wonderful ivory keys, Alia strained her ears to hear, or just imagined, the ringing of the telephone.But that voice never came back. 3 Amenorrhea.Late ripening. Tell yourself that it's okay to be a few weeks late on your period. But in fact, it was a few months late... Aaliyah has always been thin, you might say scrawny.Belongs to the kind of nervous girl.Such girls cannot conceive. Yet Aaliyah has to admit, she's gaining weight.Her belly bulged strangely.Her small, hard breasts were growing and her nipples were becoming more sensitive.As absurd as this was, Aaliyah couldn't deny it.Just don't think about it. Alia had been a virgin, and Gilbert had ejaculated warm semen outside (not inside) his bride Alia.Yes, that's it!Alia could swear by it!She just saw things she didn't want to see. "You can't have a baby that way. I don't think so." God, you can't be so cruel!Thank you. This was in 1950.Alia Burnaby stayed at home. She was a wife who stayed home every weekday morning after her husband drove to work at the law firm downtown. Dirk Burnaby was a successful lawyer, a "litigator."He admitted that he had no interest in law, but he was willing to work, so he was getting better and better at the competition. Alia wasn't naturally shy, but at dinner that night, she posed a question to her husband and heard her own voice grow timid, soft, and hesitant: "Do you mind, honey, I'm at home Teaching piano lessons? Or pronunciation lessons? During the day, I'm kind of lonely and miss my old students. I have to do something until..." Alia stopped talking, trembling in her heart.She almost said "until we have a baby." Of course Dirk didn't hear it.After all, Aaliyah didn't say it. In any case, Aaliyah was afraid that she might have made a big mistake.Her husband stared at her like he would look at her while listening to her playing the piano.Recently, Alia played to her husband Beethoven's Sonata in C sharp minor, which is the famous "Moonlight".Dirk Burnaby, she knew, could easily get sucked into the piece, especially the slow, dreamy opening melody.He said that he had never heard such a beautiful piece of music.indeed so.But at this moment, Alia was wondering if she had gone too far.This is 1950, not 1942.American women don't work.Especially married women with social status like Alia, they don't work.She couldn't imagine what it would be like if her mother made such a request to her father.None of the Littrair women went out to work.not a single one. (Except for one or two unmarried aunts who are teachers in elementary school. They don't count.) But Dirk surprised her.He took Alia's hand, kissed it lightly, and said impatiently like a child: "Alia, do whatever you want. As long as you are happy, I will be happy too. I don't Too much time at home, you must be lonely at home. You are a 'career woman' - I know that. I am so proud of you. I will tell everyone in town. I have many friends who all Proud of your kid and being able to pay for it. You've got work to do, honey." He raised his glass in celebration.Alia also raised her glass.They drank it down and kissed in tears.Dirk added, "Before we had kids, of course." God you won't, you won't be so cruel.There will be no second time. Alia's logic went like this: the longer she waited, and the more she had sex with Dirk Burnaby, the more likely it was that the child she was going to have would be Dirk's and not someone else's. She doesn't want to go to the doctor, no.In that case, she will inevitably know whether she is pregnant or not.She had to tell Dirk.What could she tell Dirk? She felt that she was a little out of order in this matter.Always thinking hard! In the mirror, Alia's face was pale and thin, with strands of silver hair like a banshee. Massaging her white, tight belly, pinching her breasts. (Oh, I have to admit: her breasts are definitely fuller. Still small, but a lot fuller. And also "sensitive". Maybe it's from the husband's caresses. Dirk will be like a child , kissing and nuzzling and sucking her tits on her breasts. Alia would gently dissuade him.) Sitting in front of the piano, she played Chopin's soothing and beautiful nocturnes, which lull people to sleep, like lullabies. they got married.This was in 1950, and the husband was always out working, and the wife stayed home from Monday to Friday.The wife was starting to feel lonely even though she was teaching piano lessons again. (These students were piano only, very young. Back in Troy, Aliya had older and more talented students. She misses those students. Here, in Niagara Falls, in the music scene No one knows her.) Dirk called Aaliyah from the office every day, very conscientiously and dutifully, once around noon and once at three or four in the afternoon.If he had to work overtime, or go out for drinks with a client, he would call back at six in the afternoon: "Honey, I miss you." The voice was soft, full of love and compassion.He was very sorry for coming home late for dinner.Alia would tell him, don't worry, I'll have dinner with you when you come back.As soon as she heard Dirk drive in, Ariah had a drink ready for him: a martini on the rocks. Aaliyah wanted a drink herself.She loves the taste of these little olives so much. Her voice was low and full of temptation.On the phone, she murmured to her husband, and she uttered all the nasty things she couldn't say face to face. "Oh dear," Dirk said with a sigh, reminiscent of the unease of a man wrapped in a suit, "me too." Sometimes Dirk would insist that Aaliyah take a taxi to the city to attend one of his parties.At the Great Falls Boat Club, or a luxury hotel on Scenic Avenue, or Mario's Restaurant and Pizzeria.They ate and drank, turning the little get-together into a party.Alia was embarrassed to be among Dirk Burnaby's friends (Dirk had so many friends that Alia had a hard time remembering their names. It gave her the reputation of being aloof), but It was a chance, too—she could wear new clothes, heels, and makeup from Berger's in Buffalo.She shook it out, trying to imagine those silver strands as exotic hairstyles.If she went back to Troy and dressed up like this, Alia would feel like a monster.But here, in this new life, in the arms of Dirk Burnaby, she felt refined and agreeable. (Is she imagining that her thin and delicate lips are now plump? After so many kisses, they must have been swollen.) Dirk lifted her up, kissed her and said, "You're better than Susan Hayward is even more beautiful. Besides, you are mine." Susan Hayward!Alia thought, there might be a resemblance. Busy and loud, Mario's is the most popular of these restaurants in Great Falls with locals, especially businessmen, politicians, and those with connections to the courts and town hall.There are people who row boats, and there are people who gamble.好像还有一个公开的秘密：玛力奥餐馆和布法罗的一个黑社会家族有牵连。 （遇到德克?波纳比之前，阿莉亚还从未听说过如此离奇有趣的叫法：“犯罪家族”。这个词使得犯罪听上去给人某种意想不到的惬意，甚至可以说是温柔。）在玛力奥餐馆，每个人都认识德克?波纳比。有个吧间，是本地名流的展厅，在那儿墙上还挂着一张他的签名照片。餐厅领班跑过来问候他。老板玛力奥来和他握手，领他到他最喜欢的桌子那儿去。那是在主餐厅里靠后边的一张桌子。穿着黑色紧身制服的女招待对他微笑，还盯着阿莉亚看了看。很多其他女人也都在看阿莉亚。 阿莉亚脸红了，听不见她们在说什么。“她？这个皮包骨头的红头发？德克?波纳比看上她哪一点了啊？” 她把德克的胳膊抓得更紧了。德克轻捏了一下她的小手。 被介绍给德克的老朋友时，她就显得更加令人不安了。他们眯起眼睛，似乎想要认清阿莉亚。玛力奥餐馆里弥漫着一层让人讨厌的薄薄的蓝烟，熏得阿莉亚眼睛里湿湿的，使她反应更迟钝了。她知道德克非常想让她能喜欢自己的朋友，这些朋友也能喜欢她。好在玛力奥这些人都没有带妻子来。德克最好的几个朋友爱吵爱闹，喝酒喝得很厉害，他们在圣?约瑟夫山读中学时就在一块儿玩纸牌了，一直到他身赴战场。这些人比德克要大那么几岁，眼睛里满是精明。他们透着有钱有势的神气，这让阿莉亚以一种新的眼光来看她的丈夫。他也是这些人中的一员。他忠诚于他们。 游戏时，有个名叫克莱德?考博恩的，头骨很大，头发掉得差不多了，让人不由自主地觉得很熟悉，像是喜剧片《狄克?特雷西》里的小角色；有个叫哈罗德?（“苍蝇”）?费奇的，尼亚加拉大瀑布警察局的一个头头；还有胖乎乎、眼睛潮湿的斯特劳顿?豪威尔，一个“随从律师”，他真挚地握紧了阿莉亚的手，祝贺她的婚姻；还有泰勒?“胆小鬼”?韦恩，像埃德?韦恩一样，热衷交友，喜欢逗乐，二战中他是个海军上尉，衣服上挂着个紫心勋章（“要想代替我呀，那你就会挨枪子儿哟”），他刚被选为尼亚加拉县的审计员。阿莉亚要了一两杯酒，让自己和这些大声说笑的人在一起时能感到些微的舒适。这帮人谈话时很少涉及到阿莉亚。在他们中间，德克?波纳比显得很有节制，温文尔雅。他是他们那个头发浅黄的小兄弟，他们以他为骄傲。他们喜欢碰碰他，喜欢和他做手势、玩纸牌。如果德克不听，那就没有什么值得一讲的笑话。阿莉亚明白这一点，这些人尊敬她对她好，完全是因为她是德克的妻子。有那么一两个人甚至还在她面前献殷勤。但是阿莉亚知道，他们绝不会觉得她配得上德克?波纳比。 阿莉亚明白，但她并不嫉妒。至少现在还不。 这是阿莉亚在玛力奥度过的第一个夜晚，漫长的、令人头晕目眩的聚会直到凌晨一点才散去。在回月神公园的路上，德克开着车，阿莉亚把头靠在他的肩膀上，咕哝着：“那个高大的秃子，是叫科波恩？他装着好像认识我的样子，那我是不是也得装作认识他的样子啊，亲爱的？” 另一个晚上在玛力奥时，有个深色头发的中年人毫无征兆地闯进了餐厅，还带着几个随从，这引起了一阵骚动。阿莉亚听见有人低声说帕里蒂诺这个名字。 然后她跟德克说，“我看这个人从桌子边走过时，你没跟他握手啊。” 德克说：“亲爱的，这没什么，是不是？我觉得没那么明显吧。” “他是不是很坏啊？是不是就是那个'犯罪家族'的成员？” 阿莉亚不假思索，脱口而出。她的脑袋有点不清醒了。德克开车跑在彩虹大道上的时候，迎面而来的车灯忽然无声无息的打亮，刺到了她的眼睛。 “他说他是个商人。但他不是做我这种生意的。” 还有一次去玛力奥的时候，阿莉亚狼吞虎咽的吃了一大盘美味的团子，这种半熟的团子据说叫意大利汤团。又喝了一杯马提尼，两杯半红酒。然后她就不得不很不好意思地一趟趟往洗手间跑，不到十分钟就要吐一次，把刚吃的全给吐了出来。 真的，感觉五脏六腑都吐出来了！ 然后，阿莉亚脸都白了，浑身发抖，几乎虚脱，但她却感觉舒服多了。 别傻了。预约一下，找个医生看看。如果你怀孕了，那肯定是德克的孩子。还会是谁的呢？ 4 they got married.为什么这还不够呢？ 家里还缺点什么呢，亲家吗？亲家人！ 私下里，阿莉亚很喜欢丈夫因为婚姻而和家人“脱离关系”了。她很尊敬德克。德克知道以后耸了耸肩，笑了。你又不是为了钱结婚，是为了爱嘛。为了生活。 Is such that.有时，阿莉亚会想念父母。也许并非如此——无论如何，她也不可能和母亲谈论自己现在的麻烦。至于尊敬的利特莱尔牧师？It's even more impossible. 虚弱时，阿莉亚会想起父亲那些刺痛的话： 以后这里不欢迎你。你和他都不欢迎。你做了一件可怕的事情。这么匆匆忙忙就和一个你所不认识的人结了婚。可怜的吉尔伯特去世还不到一个月。阿莉亚，可耻啊！ 阿莉亚当时就想喊出来，她也不认识吉尔伯特?厄尔斯金，是父母催着要她嫁给他的。 但是没有。没有辩解，也没有道歉。更好的做法是带着尊严离开，离开牧师的家里。告别作为一个孝顺女儿的生活。 阿莉亚?波纳比夫人没有父母的负担。在1950年，这是最引人注目的事情了，就像你失去了一只眼睛或是一个肢体而大摇大摆地走在大街上一样。 但是他们现在，阿莉亚和德克，正开车去夏洛特——“夏洛特”——对一座房子来说，这名字可真够嚣张的！——这是一个9月的星期天，天空中点缀着几朵白云。 不管怎么说，克劳丁似乎已经改变了她的想法，最终，她不再要和这个背弃家庭的儿子断绝关系了。对儿媳，她也有些好奇。 只要看我一眼，她就会明白的。她就会知道为什么我们会这么快就结婚的。 拜访公婆总是免不了的。为了这次拜访，阿莉亚穿了件粉色亚麻布长裙，看起来很像块裹尸布，袖子有点儿短，手腕从袖口里伸了出来，骨感得吓人。阿莉亚在脸上扑了粉，盖住脸上那些雀斑，还仔细地擦了鲜红的唇膏。 “噢，德克，我太担心了，怕你妈妈会不喜欢我。” “噢，阿莉亚，我太担心了，怕你不喜欢我妈妈呢。” 阿莉亚很认真，德克却是在开玩笑。但是阿莉亚能看到丈夫下巴上透出的紧张。还有他眼睛里淡泊的眼神。她隐隐猜到，尽管德克?波纳比反对自己难缠的母亲，但还是很爱她的。 他一定也想让自己的妻子去爱自己的母亲。 德克曾经给阿莉亚看过克劳丁?波纳比的照片：一个金发碧眼的美妇人，生着倔强的下巴、热情的眼睛，嘴角挂着冷笑。嘴型紧绷，酷似乔安?克劳福德，好像里面长了太多的牙齿一样。德克轻笑着说，“不要被我妈美丽的外表给欺骗了，亲爱的。”这句话让阿莉亚无比惊讶。 这是阿莉亚第一次访问大岛。这个岛像漂浮在奔流不息的尼亚加拉河流上，处在大瀑布和布法罗的中间位置，很庞大，很像乡下楼群那样的形状。夏洛特就建在这大岛的东南边，正对着加拿大的安大略湖。 （安大略湖！吉尔伯特?厄尔斯金死后，阿莉亚第一次记起这个名字。当时他计划蜜月有几天要来安大略湖的：在尼亚加拉大瀑布的西边，泰晤士河旁边，有一片地方荒无人烟，据称有很多化石。） 阿莉亚咬着拇指指甲，暗暗地想着这些，直到丈夫伸手过来把她的手从嘴边拉开。德克开着车，没有回头也没有对阿莉亚皱起眉头。“阿莉亚，告诉我你怎么想的，我可以调转头我们回家去。我不想看见你紧张不安。” “紧张不安？我没有紧张不安啊。”透过挡风玻璃，阿莉亚漫不经心地看着窗外的风景：开阔的田野、树林、远处的大河。还有房子。这些房子啊！简直该叫它们庄园。真够眩丽的。“摆阔气的消费”啊。她忽然冒出了对这种东西的鄙视。阿莉亚生于小镇上的牧师之家，她抬抬眼就知道虚荣是怎么回事。“我真是给迷住了。我知道你的童年是怎么过的了。” 德克笑了，很不安。好像从来没想过会有人这么说他。 德克拐上夏洛特的山道时，阿莉亚咬了咬嘴唇。这么大的房子！真是无聊。根据自己的原则，她决定要讨厌波纳比夫人。 波纳比夫人邀请他们吃早午餐，但到了12点半她还没来。一张玻璃面的桌子置放在阳台上，摆好了三个座位。这阳台由石板砌成，在上面能俯瞰河流。“波纳比夫人很快就下楼来了，她很抱歉让你们等了这么久。”一个穿着管家衣服的老女仆不时会来这样解释一下。他们尽力让自己感觉“舒服”一些。他们是被邀来吃开胃餐、喝饮料的：从冷冻的壶罐里倒出来的是番茄汁。这个东西倒出来以后不像是番茄汁，却成了“血腥玛丽”。阿莉亚非常喜欢，她从没喝过这么好喝的东西。 德克说，“阿莉亚，小心点儿。伏特加可是能喝死人的。” 阿莉亚欢快地笑了。那天早上，她已经有过轻微的呕吐，而且连一点面包也没有吃，出奇的饿。于是她狼吞虎咽了几块蟹肉小羊角面包和一些小萝卜蘸酸奶。吃完以后她终于不咬自己的拇指了。她看到玻璃窗上自己的影子，感到很受鼓舞，她看起来还是蛮漂亮的：是丈夫的爱创造了这个奇迹。 “德克，你会一直爱我的，是不是，亲爱的？你不会哪天早上醒来以后改变主意吧？” “阿莉亚，别傻了。” “如果你真的改变主意，我会熄灭的。像一盏灯一样'熄灭'。” 德克不安地向外扫了一眼，好像是怕有人偷听。阳台上朝外的窗户装的是百叶窗帘，别人可以从外面看到里面而不会被发现。这些窗户大都开着。德克点了支烟，开始喝第二杯酒。可恶的克劳丁到底在哪儿呢？ 德克陪着阿莉亚走下种着草坪的斜坡，走到河边的小码头上，跟她聊起自己的童年时代，那时，他父亲还在世。他有自己的船，对航行，对这条河都十分热爱。他显得有些心烦意乱。“我觉得，自己是个鲁莽的孩子。有几次，我差点儿出事。”德克说着，有些烦闷。阿莉亚不知道他在为了什么而懊悔，是为了过去那些所作所为，还是为了过去本身呢？一阵河风吹来，清新、爽快。近处，帆船毫不费力地滑过。在这儿，夏洛特的码头上，听不到大瀑布险恶的轰鸣声；它在下流数英里开外的地方。这个码头水流不是很急，人们可以从这儿跳下河去游泳，河水不会一边让你尖叫着一边把你带向死亡。我也能住在这儿。还有我们的孩子。为什么我们不能继承这些呢？阿莉亚不知道这些不值一提的想法从哪儿冒了出来，真是出乎意料。 这个码头该修了。他们两个人的重量就已经明显让它来回摇摆，吱吱作响。在这儿只停了一艘船，是一只从前的白色旧帆船。阿莉亚忽然很想上船在这条大河的波浪里摇晃颠簸一番。她撒娇似的靠到丈夫的肩膀上说，“你的旧船好像给遗弃了。待会儿吃完饭开船带我出去逛会儿吧，德克？” “好，一会儿去。” 说这话时，德克带着强装出来的热情。阿莉亚能感到他心神不定，他看看表，又回头看看房子那边。她在德克的身边，德克却没有把注意力放在她身上，这有点儿不像他了。这让阿莉亚感到某种拉力，来自那间房子里的那个女人。 “我想你母亲已经出来了吧？那个人就是吧——” “不，那是埃塞尔，她在看我们在哪儿。” 都快下午一点了。德克脸色闷闷不乐，头发也给风吹乱了。他带着阿莉亚回到了阳台上。太阳已经不在正头顶上，但是却出奇的热。这个地方的天气，云层总是厚厚的，虽然有一轮发白的太阳斑斑驳驳地照着，还是常常水汽弥漫，潮润润的。在伊利湖和安大略湖两个大湖之间，天气总是变化无常，难以捉摸。这样苍白刺眼的太阳一照，夏洛特的草坪也显得灰褐难看，毫无生气，杂乱不堪。玫瑰丛都染上了黑斑。让人觉得这块地正被忽略，就像生命正在消逝一样。从后面看这所房子，像是从后台看舞台上的演出一样，本来富丽堂皇的石料大宅显得风侵雨蚀，有些破败。石头上已经有裂缝，生锈的檐槽上生了一条细细的青苔，像条蜿蜒细长的蛇，似乎把房子也给加宽了那么一点儿。 阿莉亚局促地笑了。“可能这个星期天不太合适吧，德克？” “我也在这样想，”德克神情严肃。 阿莉亚从未见过高大、英俊、自信的丈夫这么心烦意乱、神经质，而且愤怒。他们回到了阳台上，但克劳丁还是没有出现。尴尬的佣人又跟刚才一样道了歉。德克说，“如果我妈希望我们去找她并求她和我们一起进餐的话，那她错了。”阿莉亚吃着开胃点心，装作没有听见。她又倒了一点美味的血红的辣味饮料，因为德克不愿再倒给她了。她配着血腥玛丽又吃了一些蟹肉小羊角面包。她流了满嘴的口水，饥肠辘辘，即使胃里一阵阵的恶心。 德克忽然说，“阿莉亚，我们走。你的手提袋呢？” 阿莉亚站在那儿一动不动，深吸了一口气。她要克服这一瞬间的虚弱。她一定不能屈服。她的眼皮又跳了。她不想看见那条被遗弃的小帆船，在码头那边愚蠢的、无休止地来回摆动。呕吐好像是晕船病。她把视线从河上转回来，忽然看见12尺外的窗户上，有张鬼魂似的脸。或许只是她的幻觉？但视线只一恍惚，那张脸就不见了。 阿莉亚希望德克没有看到。 “埃塞尔，告诉你的主人，她的无理无法让人忍受。永远都不要邀请我和我的妻子再到这里来了。” 德克一把抓住阿莉亚的小臂就往外走。他从来没有这么用力地抓过阿莉亚！阿莉亚穿着高跟鞋，跌跌绊绊的，想要挣脱。但是忽然很可怕地她喘不上气来，窒息了。然后胃里猛地一阵恶心。她完全无法控制胃里一阵阵的痉挛，把傻傻地吃进去、喝进去的东西全吐了出来，弄脏了自己粉色的麻布长裙，玻璃顶的桌子，还有这个石板铺砌的阳台。 “阿莉亚，怎么搞得，”德克很恼怒，“我不是提醒过你的吗？” 5 这是1950年，似乎每个人都怀孕了。 阿莉亚一阵阵的恶心越来越频繁了，尤其是在早上。 和德克?波纳比结婚三个月——12个星期零两天之后，阿莉亚终于还是去看医生了。一个从尼亚加拉大瀑布地区电话本上查来的名字：派伯。 “波纳比夫人，好消息！” 阿莉亚一下子哭了出来。哦，她其实已经练习过这一课的情形，她微笑而且淡定，甚至还穿了一身时髦的衣服，想给派伯医生和他的护士留一个好印象。但这一刻真的到来的时候，像个火车头一样向她疾冲过来的时候，她无力抵抗了，无法控制自己的泪水。她用双手捂住了发烫的脸。派伯医生，这个有点上了年纪的尊贵的绅士，看到阿莉亚这个样子被吓坏了。派伯医生的诊所在大瀑布的市中心，走得快的话，从月神公园到那儿只要15分钟。 阿莉亚恳求说，“医生，千万别告诉我我怀孕多久了。别告诉我预产期是什么时候。千万别！” “但是，波纳比太太……” 阿莉亚试着解释这一切。不，她无法解释。她眼泪不停地流下来，还不时擤着鼻涕。哦，为什么那个男人不是在我们结婚之前自杀，而是在之后呢？她结结巴巴地说： “派伯医生，确实——我很高兴。我结婚了，而且我很幸——幸福。我爱我丈夫——我们七月才结的婚——而且我们也想要孩子——但是我不能确定——我是说，我不想知道——这个孩子的父亲是谁。” 派伯医生吓坏了，看着她不明所以，那表情像利特莱尔牧师给吓坏时看她的表情一样。看到医生这样的反应，阿莉亚赶紧试着解释她第一次婚姻的情况——它时间短暂、完完全全是“悲剧”。阿莉亚尴尬地扭动着，告诉医生她的前夫如何“射精”在她身上，在她两腿间。哦，她还是个处女——但是她知道处女是不会怀孕的。高中时这种粗制滥造的实用知识会在学校里流传，一个长老会牧师的女儿也会听到这类知识，又吃惊又害怕，把它归做未来的参考，还会想，我肯定不会的。Absolutely not.Won't! “我不要知道，医生。如果我已经怀孕16周的话，我前夫是——会是——本应该是——孩子的父亲。如果我只是怀孕了12周，那我现在的丈夫就是孩子的父亲。可能孩子会早产么？也说不定是晚产？”阿莉亚知道可怜的派伯医生肯定是尴尬极了。都是被她这些乱七八糟的女性事情给闹的，她不敢抬头去看医生。“医生，求您：我不是一定要知道的，是吧？我丈夫也不必知道，是不是？” 派伯医生把一盒克里内克丝面巾纸推到阿莉亚面前，阿莉亚感激地抽了一张，擦了擦脸。派伯医生好像从以前的记录中听说过波纳比这个姓，德克?波纳比，至少是波纳比这个姓氏给他留下了深刻的印象。他以超乎阿莉亚期望的权威口吻说：“波纳比太太，你怀的孩子不可能大过13周。这是我的估计，我是很少出错的。可能会错一两天，或者一周，但不会再多了。所以波纳比先生才是孩子的父亲。你的预产期应该是在明年四月。如果你愿意，下次你来时我会给出更准确的时间。”阿莉亚马上放心了。 阿莉亚快要晕了：“不了医生。这已经够准确了。四月。” 派伯医生从座位上站起来，握了握阿莉亚的手。她的手潮湿冰冷。跟死尸的手差不多，得要暖一暖了。他和蔼地说，“我建议你别再胡思乱想了，波纳比太太。跟我说的话不要再跟别人提起，把好消息告诉你丈夫，然后出去庆祝一下。很快我们会再见面的。祝贺你。” 他们结婚了，而且阿莉亚怀孕了。他们高兴地庆祝了一番。 1 从日历上看，我出生在春天。 早产了一个星期。或许是两个呢。 纽约的尼亚加拉大瀑布除了三月下旬之外，从感恩节到现在一直大风狂啸，雪盖冰封。在月神公园7号，在公园里的那条街上，雪莲花和番红花勇敢地提前盛开了。然而又一场细细的雪却残酷地覆盖了它们。 这个冬天，尼亚加拉地区全部加起来下了有108英寸的雪。到3月26号，这些雪大部分还没有融化。 从医院回家的路上，阿莉亚兴高采烈，要德克沿着河行驶，让他们才一周大的孩子钱德勒能看见大瀑布。 “亲爱的，开过去吧。钱德勒会永远记住大瀑布的。这说不定是他看见的第一件有记忆的东西。” 德克好像迟疑了一瞬。他知道，妻子的情绪任性而不可捉摸，由一种隐秘不见的逻辑决定，那逻辑如同桥下水泥里的钢梁，坚不可破。而德克又恰好正为儿子的健康出生而兴奋和惊喜，他当然会让步了。 他刚刮了脸，干干净净，蓬松凌乱的头发也剪了。有些天他头发乱蓬蓬的，但是以后再也不会这样了。 这个时节，大瀑布荒凉的像月亮一样。只有一辆长长的市政扫雪机神经错乱一样从风景公园压过，把废气排在它碾出的辙印上。除此之外，就再没有一个人了。 “没有旅游观光的人！这多好啊。” 德克开车进了风景公园，停在车位上。他没关发动机，这样暖气会热一些。这辆林肯大陆车的后座上堆满了鲜花，郁金香、风信子、水仙，虽然已经不是怒放的时光，但仍然香气宜人，很是喜庆。这些花是从阿莉亚的病房里搬出来的，大部分都是德克送给她的。 弗雷德?艾斯泰尔也到医院给他亲爱的金吉尔?罗杰斯送花。他这个红头发的舞伴现在跳不了舞了。但是很快就会恢复的。 德克知道，和妻子一起带这么个小男婴回家（只有五磅七盎司重却这么完美），他们的生命从此完整了。是的，永远完整了！ 车外刮着从加拿大来的偏北风，他们看到，冬天的天空像陶瓷一样，呈现一种细腻明亮的蓝色。经历了11个小时的痛苦折磨，流了那么多的血，还得了一场小小的但是却会发烧的医院传染病之后，阿莉亚虚弱苍白，摇摇欲坠。她亲着、喃喃逗弄着脸红的小婴儿：“看见了吗，小宝贝？看爸妈把你带到哪儿了？带到大瀑布了。”阿莉亚笑着，举起钱德勒，胳膊轻轻颤抖着。（德克密切地注视着她。必要时他会帮她抱住孩子的。在医院里，阿莉亚发烧时精神错乱，痛得不得了，那时阿莉亚大声嚷嚷着什么。它们可以称为警告。他可是警醒的，警惕的。） 钱德勒给暖暖地包在一条蓝色的山羊绒婴儿毯中，他来回挥动的小手也带着小小的连指手套。他充满好奇地往车窗外看着。小小的鱼嘴湿润润地，打着哈欠，圆圆的黑眼睛使劲睁大，向外凸出。他一会儿眨眼，一会儿眯眼。他的脸像是个小小橡胶球，额头怪异地斜着，阿莉亚觉得像是一角干酪。下巴呢，也像熔化了一样，向后缩着。但是，他是个漂亮的婴儿，他是德克和她的，外表一看就是。 阿莉亚兴奋地说，“他能看见。我是说，他不只是睁开眼睛。他正在练视力呢。他好像对这些景色有格外的兴趣，他在用眼睛看呢。” 你几乎会相信，钱德勒能够明白他在看什么。当薄雾升上大峡谷，在河边那些高高的光秃秃的榆树和橡树上，冰就会结成金丝银丝，在阳光下闪闪发亮，如同莫扎特的高音音符。童话中，有座跨越尼亚加拉河的冰桥，神奇的彩虹会出现，又会在眨眼之间消失。甚至是冰点之下的温度，看起来热腾腾的水汽也会不停地升上来。 他们正在看的是美国大瀑布。更大的马蹄瀑布很远，在山羊岛的西南，从德克的车里看不到，除非把雾错看成它。 坐在车里，他们数分钟都默不作声。 钱德勒扭动着，咕哝着。他小小的拳头摇来摇去。他肯定是个多事的孩子，一会儿都不能安静，脾气又大。他皱着脸，那种表情像是一种动物似的焦虑。他的鱼嘴打着哈欠。很快就又饿了：又要妈妈哺乳了。哺乳对于阿莉亚是种全新的、惊异的、无法抗拒的感觉，一种做爱般的感觉，让初为人母的她措手不及。 想到这一点，阿莉亚就不由自主地笑了，像做梦一样。 过了一会儿她说：“德克，你觉得是什么把我们带到这儿来的？我们三个。” 阿莉亚用了一种中规中矩、关乎事实的声音，仿佛她是一个客户，在问她的代理人一个实际问题。她把钱德勒抱在胸前，轻轻地摇摆，把自己微微皲裂的嘴唇，轻轻地贴在他的头顶上。钱德勒戴了一顶小线帽，是德克的一个亲戚送的，但是他头皮的温热还是透过帽子传到了阿莉亚的嘴唇上。