Chapter 61 Chapter 2 The Breeze of Revolution

At the beginning of my sentence, the endless length of the sentence overwhelmed me, and my initial contact with the world of the Gulag archipelago devastated me.I never believed, therefore, that one day my soul would rise again gradually, and, insensibly, with the passage of time, I would climb the peak of the invisible "islands" like Mount Loa in Hawaii, and Standing on the top of the mountain, he will look around the "islands" calmly, and even be attracted by the splendor of the incredible sea. I spent the middle part of my sentence on a golden island, where the prisoners were well fed and watered, and the cells were warm and clean.In exchange for all this, there is not much we ask of us: just sit at the desk for twelve hours and fulfill the wishes of the chief.

However, I suddenly lost the interest in enjoying this kind of leisure! . . . because I have groped for a certain new meaning in prison life.Looking back, I now think that the advice given to us by the "special inmates" of Moscow's Red Presnya Prison - "We must strive not to fall into ordinary labor at any cost!" - is really pitiful. .We paid too much for what we got. Prison inspired my writing aspirations.Now I devote all my time to this hobby, and I have the audacity to procrastinate on public work.I'll straighten my back, it's more precious to me than butter and sugar on the Golden Isle.

So, a few of us were "straightened up" by others - they decided to send us to a special labor camp. The transfer to the special labor camp was a long one, taking three full months (riding horses was much faster in the nineteenth century).We walked so slowly along the way that even this part of the road seemed like a whole stage in life, and it seemed that even my character and point of view changed during it. But the journey has always been full of enthusiasm and pleasure, and this trip is quite meaningful.The breeze was fresh and exhilarating, the wind of penal labor as well as the wind of freedom.People and things approaching from all directions show us that the truth is on our side!On our side!Not on the side of those who judge and imprison us.

Arriving at the familiar Butirka Prison, we were greeted by the screams of women coming in from the small windows, probably from solitary confinement prisoners: "Help! Kill! Kill! !" The shout was immediately suppressed by the guard's slap. In the "transfer station" in Butyrka, we were mixed with some new convicts sentenced in 1949.The sentences of these people are ridiculous, not the usual "ten-yuan bill" (that is, ten years), but "a quarter" (century) (that is, the sentence of twenty-five years in prison).Whenever they reported their completion dates in the countless roll calls, it sounded like a deliberate joke: "October 1974!" "February 1975!"

Sitting in prison for such a long time!Simply unimaginable.Had to get a pair of pliers and cut the wire. This twenty-five-year sentence would in itself create a new quality in the prisoners.The regime has pulled all the tricks it can on us.Now it's our turn, prisoners, to speak.We are to speak the language of freedom -- words that can no longer be restrained and threatened, words that have never been spoken in our lives, words that are necessary for clarity of attitude, for unity in battle. We heard the news of the outbreak of the Korean War over the station's loudspeaker in the "Stolypin Prison Car" at the Kazan railway station.On the first morning of the war, the North Koreans advanced ten kilometers through the strong South Korean defenses, and then the North Koreans insisted on convincing the world that they were the first to be attacked.Any foolish soldier who has ever been on the front line can tell that the first attack is the one that strode ten kilometers on the first day.

This Korean War makes us feel excited too.All of us restless people are looking forward to the storm!Because there is no storm, no storm, if there is no storm, we are doomed to be slowly tortured to death! After passing Ryazan, the red light of the rising sun shone directly in through the small window nailed on the prison wagon.The young escort soldier standing opposite our grid squinted his eyes.The escort did look like an escort: fifteen of us were stuffed into each grid, and only salted herrings were given out.However, he did bring some water, and he was released twice in the morning and evening to relieve himself.Therefore, we have no dissatisfaction with him.However, this young man suddenly blurted out something that should not have been said absent-mindedly, even without malice. He said that we are the enemies of the people.

This is incredible!People in our cell and the cell next door shouted at him together: "We are the enemies of the people, so why is there nothing to eat in the collective farms?!" "It's clear at first glance, you kid is also from the countryside, you probably still want to stay in the army for extended service. Be a pug! Maybe you don't want to go back to farming again?" "If we are the enemy, then why do you paint the crow van in another color? It can be escorted openly!" "Hey, boy! I've got two boys your age who died at the front. And I'm an enemy, aren't I?"

It has been a long, long time since such words have flown from our mouths!What we yell are the most common truths and things that can be seen, so it is hard to refute. A sergeant who had overstayed his service came to help the bewildered young man, but he didn't take anyone to the confinement room, and he didn't record anyone's name. He just helped his brother to fight.This phenomenon is again recognized by us as a sign of a new era. (Actually, what "new" period will there be in 1950?!) Wood!It was only a sign that the new sentences and the new political prison camps created a new relationship among the prisoners.

Our argument with the two escorts later developed into a pure contest of arguments.The young soldiers looked at us, and no longer dared to call anyone in our cell or the next cell an enemy of the people. They tried to refute us with words from newspapers and political textbooks, but although they did not realize that, But I already felt how hypocritical and insincere my words were. "Look, boys! Look out the window!" we said to them, "look what you've made of Russia!" Outside the window is a land of rotten straw, rough, dilapidated and impoverished (our trains run on the Ruzayev line, which is never used by foreigners).If Batu Khan had seen the Russian land like this, he might not have come to seize it.

At a small, quiet station called Torbeyevo, we see an old man in bark shoes walking across the platform.An old country lady stood in front of our small window, looking intently at us, who were tightly squeezed on the upper bunk, through the two layers of iron railings on the window and inside.Our common people have always looked at "unfortunate" people in this way.A few sparse tears rolled down her aging face.She just stood there watching, as if she had her own son among us. "Don't look, old lady!" The escort's voice was not rough.The old lady didn't even look back.Beside her stood a teenage girl with white ribbons in her braids.The little girl's eyes were even more serious, so severe that it was not commensurate with her age. Both eyes were wide open, and they did not blink.Looking at it like that, I think she must have deeply imprinted our appearance in her mind forever.The train moved gently.The old woman solemnly raised her dirty black fingers and made a sign of the cross toward us calmly.

At another station, a girl in a calico dress walked up to our window without restraint and without fear, and asked us hastily: By which sentence did you judge?How long is the sentence? "Get out of here!" shouted the escort who was patrolling the platform, but the girl said, "What are you going to do with me? I'm just like them! Hey, give this pack of cigarettes to the boys!" "She took a pack of cigarettes out of her purse. (We also thought that she might have been in prison too. How many of these wandering people have been educated on the "islands"!) "Get out of the way! Or I'll lock you up too!" The escort The team vice-captain jumped out of the car and shouted at her.She gave his overdue head a contemptuous glance, said, "Fuck you!  …" and then encouraged us, "...leave them alone, lads!" and walked away proudly. That's how we went along the way.So, we don't think the detainees feel that they represent the people.The further we go, the more we feel that justice is on our side, that the whole of Russia is on our side.It's almost over, this business is almost over. In Kuibyshev's deportation station, we rested our feet and "basked in the sun" for more than a month.Miracles were encountered here too.Suddenly, the hysterical shouts of criminals from the next four rooms came from (these guys even shouted in a particularly ugly and piercing voice): "Come on! Help! The Fascists are beating people! The Fascists!" This is new!We "fascists" dare to fight criminals?They used to beat me all the time. However, the rooms were re-arranged after a while, and we realized that what happened just now was nothing unusual, it was just a herald.There was a man named Pavel Baranyuk, with broad shoulders and a round waist, his arms were as thick as a young tree, and his two huge hands were always ready to shake or strike.With his dark face and eagle nose, he looked more Georgian than Ukrainian.He was an officer just back from the front, who had shot down three enemy planes with an anti-aircraft machine gun; he had been nominated for the title of hero, but was rejected by the special department in the army.He had also been in the punishment camp before, but came out with a medal from there.Now he has been sentenced to ten years in prison.According to the new sentence, ten years is regarded as "a child's sentence". He had come from the Novograd-Volynsk prison, and he had already been taught the ways of criminals along the way, and he had already fought with them.Just now, he was quietly playing chess with others on the upper bunk in the next room.Originally, all the people living in this room were violators of Article 58, but the administrator suddenly forced in two criminals who were habitual criminals.The two fellows were casually smoking White Sea cigarettes, and as soon as they came in, they went to clear their "legal" seats on the bunk by the window.One of them jokingly said: "Hmph, I knew we were stuffed into the bandit's den again." At this time, the naive Veliyev, who didn't know much about criminals and repeat criminals, wanted to cheer them up and said: "We are not bandits, we are violating Article 58. What about you?" "Me? Embezzlement of public funds. I am a learned man!" They drove the two people sleeping by the window away, and put their backpacks in " "legal" seat, and then went to each bunk to check other people's backpacks, and began to find faults.And what about those prisoners who committed Article 58?No, they were still the same at that time, and they didn't resist at all.Sixty big men bowed their heads and waited for those people to come and grab their things.The arrogance of these habitual offenders who tolerate no resistance has a spellbinding effect (they know it, and the prison authorities will always back them up).Baraniuk seemed to be still playing chess at this moment, but his big eyes were already scanning the two men, secretly thinking about how to do it.When one of the criminals walked up to his bunk, he kicked the guy in the face with a leg that was dangling beside the bed, jumped out of the bed, grabbed the wooden lid of the toilet, and kicked the guy in the face. Two people were hit on the head.In this way, he beat them two alternately with the wooden cover.The wooden cover was cracked, so he grabbed the four-centimeter-square wooden cross joint and continued to hit it.Two habitual criminals begged for mercy.Admittedly, though, there was a bit of humor in their wailing, and they didn't give up trying to be funny, just to hear them say, "Hey, what are you doing? How can you hit someone with a cross!?"" You don’t seem crazy, how can you bully others?” However, Baraniuk knew these people well, so he didn’t stop.At this time, one of them rushed to the window and shouted: "Come on! The fascists are beating people!" The two habitual criminals always held a grudge, and later they threatened Baralyuk several times, saying: "You smell like a dead body! Let's wait and see!" However, they did not dare to act violently again. Soon there was another conflict with the bitches (legs) in our room.once.We were letting the air out and took the opportunity to loosen up. The female guard ordered a dog leg to urge the people in the toilet to come out quickly, and hurry up, but his arrogant look (for "political prisoners"!) annoyed a man who had just started serving his sentence. young people.Nervous Volodya Gershuny was trying to stop him, but the dog kicked the young man down with a blow.In the past, those who violated Article 58 might have swallowed their anger, but now an Azerbaijani named Maxim (he once killed the chairman of their collective farm) threw a stone at the dogleg, and at the same time Baranyu K went over and punched him in the jaw.At this point the dog drew his knife and slashed Baraniuk with it (it is not uncommon for us that they sometimes carry knives as assistants to the guards).The dog leg ran to the guard, and Baraniuk was in hot pursuit.At this time, we were all quickly driven into the fourth room.The officers of the prison came, questioned who had done it, and threatened to prolong the sentence for such "banditry". (Of course the Ministry of Internal Affairs feels sorry for those bitches).Baraniuk stood up bleeding, and said, "I did the beating. As long as I live, I will continue to beat these bastards!" The "godfather" of the prison immediately warned us: "You counter-revolutionaries have nothing to be proud of. Yes, it's safer to pretend to be dumb!" At this moment Volodya Gershuny, who was arrested in his first year at university, almost as a child, and the former conductor Gershuny of the Socialist-Revolutionary Combat Group not only had the same surname, he was also the man's own nephew. "Don't you call us counter-revolutionaries!" he yelled at the "godfather" of the prison, stretching out his neck like a rooster. "That's a thing of the past. Now we're revolutionaries again! Only to revolutionize the Soviets." Fate of the regime!" Ah, how interesting!Finally lived to such a day!But that "Godfather" just lowered his face, frowned, and swallowed the words!No one was put in the confinement room again.The guards and officers also walked away disheartened. It turns out that you can live like this in prison! ?Can fight?Can you contradict them?Say what you want to say out loud?How many years have we endured in vain!Whoever cries deserves to be beaten!We used to cry so people hit us. We're going to be sent to some new, fabulous labor camp, where people wear numbers like Nazis.However, there are all political prisoners there, and they can always get rid of the entanglement of these ordinary criminals.Maybe you can start living like that when you get there?Volodya Gershuny was a round-faced, pointed-jawed child with dark eyes and a pale face that always shone with hope.He said: "When we get to the special labor camp, we have to make a good distinction. Who should we follow?" What a naive child!He really thought that when he got there, he would really come into contact with the various ideas of the various parties, hear their debates, understand various programs, and various underground activities. "Follow who"?As if we really had this freedom of choice!As if those who issued the arrest warrants of the Republic and compiled the lists of convicts had not decided our fate beforehand! The cell we lived in was converted from an old stable.The shed is very long. Where two rows of stables used to be placed, there are now two rows of bunk beds. In the middle of the aisle, there are some crooked round wooden pillars that support the old roof. The windows on both sides of the wall are also typical horses. The window of the shed is just so that when the hay is thrown in from the outside, it will not fall out of the stable.These windows are now also covered with "cage mouths" (masks placed outside the windows to block the view). There are a total of 120 prisoners in this cell. Some uneducated peasants. This is because the second purge is going on in that area. Anyone who does not want to volunteer to participate in the collective farms, or who is suspected of being unwilling to participate, is all arrested. In addition, there are many western Ukrainians, the so-called "Auun" elements and those who dared to host Auun in Someone who stays at home overnight or has a meal for them.And then from the Russian Soviet Federation People arrested by the Republic, few of them are first-time arresters, most of them are second-timers The so-called "second prisoner" who was arrested for the first time.Of course, there are also a few foreigners. All of us were sent to the same special labor camp (according to the dispatcher) I heard that it was taken to Steplag).I watched these people carefully, it was fate that brought me We are brought together.I try to understand them. I think it's the Estonians and Lithuanians that particularly make me sad.Although I am in the same position as them in this cell, but I feel in my heart that in their presence Feeling ashamed, as if I caught them in myself.They are simple, diligent People who work hard, keep their promises, and keep their own place.How could they also fall into this meat grinder here?They didn't provoke anyone, and lived their well-fed lives peacefully, Social morality is even nobler than ours.But suddenly, just because they live in me They are guilty of being near us and standing in our way to the sea. "It's a shame to be a Russian!"--When Russia strangled Poland, He Erzen once said so excitedly.Today, in the face of those who do not like war and have no Defenseless people, I feel doubly ashamed to be a Soviet. My feelings towards Latvians are much more complicated.there seems to be some kind of fate here The hand is playing tricks on us.This is the seed they sow themselves. So, what about the Ukrainians?We have not used "Ukrainian nationalism" for a long time The word "Bangera", we only say "Bangera elements", and this word is used in our has become such a curse word that no one gives it a second thought essence. (Also, we use the word "gangster" in the same way. As we are used to The idiomatic usage is that whoever kills for us is a "partisan", and whoever kills We are all "bandits", including the peasants of Tambov Province in 1921. ) The essence of the problem is: Although there was a period, in Kievan and Luohu thousands of years ago It is true that we all once formed a united nation in the time of Sri Lanka, but since then The nation is divided, and our and their lives, customs, and languages ​​have developed in different directions through the centuries.The so-called "reunification" is inherently very difficult.While there may have been a genuine desire to reorganize the brotherly family that once existed, we have not made good use of the past three centuries.Russia has never had such a politician who can seriously think about how to make Ukrainians and Russians become kinsmen and how to eliminate the barriers and wounds between the two parties. (If there were no estrangement and trauma, no Ukrainian committee would have been organized in the spring of 1917, and there would be no "Rada" in the future. However, during the February Revolution they only demanded a federal system, and no one Want to separate. This brutal division started in the years of the Communist Party.) The Bolsheviks had no difficulty in dealing with this question before coming to power.In Pravda of June 7, 1917, Lenin wrote: "We regard Ukraine and other non-Great Russian regions as areas that have been annexed by the Russian tsars and capitalists." He wrote When these words were written, a central authority - the Central "Rada" - had already been organized in Ukraine.Moreover, on November 2, 1917, a "Declaration of the Rights of the Peoples of Russia" was passed. Isn't this a joke?At that time, the declaration declared that the peoples of Russia have the right to freedom and self-determination up to the separation. Was it not a lie?Half a year later, the Soviet government asked the German Empire to assist Soviet Russia in signing a "peace treaty" with Ukraine and demarcating the exact borders between the two sides. Padeski co-signed the treaty.This action of Lenin showed that he fully tolerated the secession of Ukraine from Russia, and even tolerated Ukraine becoming a monarchy after secession! But strange.The Germans have just been defeated by the Entente (this shouldn't affect our principles for dealing with Ukraine, right? 1), Hetmann followed them, and the Bolsheviks are slightly stronger than Petliura's, -- the Bolsheviks will pass right away They have crossed the boundaries they recognized and imposed their own regime on brothers of the same blood.Yes, in the fifteen to twenty years since then we have worked tirelessly, even grudgingly, in "Mova" - the Ukrainian language - to convince the brethren there of their own complete independence , and can be separated from us at any time.But as soon as they said they wanted to do it at the end of the war, we declared them "Bangeras" and started hunting them down, torturing and executing them, or putting them in labor camps. (Actually, the "Bangera elements" are just like the "Petliura elements", they are just some ordinary Ukrainians who do not want to live under the rule of a foreign regime. When they understand that Hitler will not give them what they have promised When they were free, they fought Hitler throughout the war. But we kept silent about this because it would be to our disadvantage to mention it, just as we never mentioned the Warsaw Uprising of 1944.) Why does Ukrainian nationalism, that our brothers want to be able to speak in their own "Mova", educate their children with it, write store signs?Even Mikhail Bulgakov (in his novel The White Guard) was affected by incorrect feelings on this question.Since the two peoples have not been fully integrated in the past, since there are differences between us (as long as they, a few, feel that way), it is painful!But things have come to this, what can be done!Since the time was missed, it was mainly missed in the 1930s and 1940s. The relationship between the two sides was mainly sharpened not in the tsarist era but in the communist era! --They are going to separate.Why should we be angry?Is reluctant to Odessa's beach?Can't bear the fruits of Cherkasey? It hurts me to write these words, because in my blood, in my psyche and in my mind, there is a combination of Ukraine and Russia.But the long and friendly association with the Ukrainians in the labor camps made me understand: how long they have suffered for this!Our generation will inevitably pay for the mistakes of the older generation. It's so easy to stomp and yell, "It's mine!"But to say: "Whoever wants to live, let him live!" would be many times more difficult.at the end of the twentieth century period, we shouldn't still be living in a world where our last not-so-bright emperor was hurt In the imaginary world of the mind.As strange as it may seem, the truth is: "First Progressionism's prophecy that nationalism is on the wane has not come true. In atomic and control In the age of political theory, it—nationalism—has somehow flourished.This A time is coming when, whether we like it or not, we must fulfill our The whole promise of self-determination and independence.And we should proactively make it happen, not To wait for someone to burn us in the fire, drown us in the river or cut our head.Whether we are a great nation or not, we cannot prove this point by the vastness of the territory and the number of protected nations, but only by the greatness of our actions. Ming, it depends on us abandoning those lands that do not want to live with us Proven by the intensive cultivation of their own land. Dealing with Ukraine will be extraordinarily painful.However, you should now see the total development trend.Since this problem has not been solved well in the past centuries, it is Say, it's time for us to show ourselves wise.we have to give them to ourselves to decide.Should it be handed over to the federalist faction, or to the separatist faction?it depends on them Who can convince who.Not giving in is stupid and cruel.The softer we are now, The more patient and reasonable, the greater the hope of reunification in the future. Let them live on their own and try it out for themselves.They'll feel it soon: min Leaving won't solve all their problems. I don't know why, let us live for a long time in the long stable caravan, no Escorted to Steppe Special Battalion.Naturally, we are not in a hurry, we have a good time here, and we will not be as good there. There is no shortage of news here, and every day someone brings half a piece of torn newspaper.Often I read it to the whole room, and I always read it with emotion, and there are things that should be read with emotion. Those dates marked the tenth anniversary of the liberation of Estonia, Latvia and Lithuania.Some of the Estonians, Latvians, and Lithuanians in our cells, who knew Russian, translated the messages for others (I'll pause here for a moment).When those people heard how "free and prosperous" life had been established in their country for the first time in history, they burst into tears, and everyone in the bunk and bunk wept.Each of these people from the Baltic coast, who accounted for nearly a third of the deportation depot population, left a broken family behind.No, it would be nice if there were "families", some of whom were being sent to Siberia in the same way with another batch of convicts. But it was certainly news about North Korea that got us deportation prisoners most excited.Stalin's blitzkrieg failed there.Volunteers from the United Nations have been called up.We see North Korea as the Spain of World War III. (Probably Stalin started it as a dress rehearsal for World War III.) I was especially excited about the UN soldiers: look, how interesting their flag is!Who does not unite under this banner?It is simply the embryonic form of the future human beings as a whole! What disgusts us is that we cannot take further action than disgust. "It doesn't matter that we die, as long as those who live a happy life and see us die indifferently are safe!"--Can we think like this?No, we cannot agree to this!Absolutely not!We are indeed longing for the storm to come!People may be surprised: "How can people have such shameless and desperate thoughts? Don't you think that the vast number of people outside the prison will suffer from the disaster of war?!" "However, the people outside the prison have no Thinking of us!" "So, what's wrong with you? You want a world war?" "But you sentenced these people in 1950 to the mid-1970s, so they hoped for a world war." What more could one hope for than war? " Now, when I recall our vain and pernicious hopes at that time, I feel Also feel absurd.Total nuclear annihilation is not the way out for anyone.What's more, namely Even without nuclear weapons, any state of war can only serve as an excuse for domestic tyranny, which will Strengthen domestic tyranny.But if I don't tell the truth, if I don't say we're there If I don't have the actual idea of ​​a summer, then the history I write is distorted. Romain Rolland's generation was troubled by the fear of war when they were young, but My generation of prisoners, on the contrary, is distressed by the absence of war.This was the true mental state of the special labor camp for political prisoners at that time.We are forced to this place step.There are only two possibilities that the world war will bring us: or the accelerated death Come on (shoot us from the gun towers, put poison in our food like the germans did and bacilli), or, perhaps, freedom.Either way, it can be more Getting relief quickly is better than procrastinating until the end of the sentence in 1975. That was Petya Pav's plan.Petya Pav was from our cell The last surviving returnees from Europe.Immediately after the war, all prisons The room was full of rustic Russians like him who came back from Europe, but, at that time Those who are waiting to return to the country have already been sent to labor camps or buried in the soil, and those who have not returned have also made up their minds. The heart does not come back.But what about this Petya?He was in November 1949, At a time when normal people no longer return to their country, they voluntarily returned to their motherland. He was studying at a vocational school in Kharkov when the war broke out, and he was a Sometimes they were forced to mobilize to learn crafts there.Soon, the Germans came and took them again Helped the half-grown child to be sent to Germany forcibly.His "Oriental slave" has been staying there to the end of the war.There he developed a state of mind that one should try to use Live an easier life and don't be forced to work like you were when you were a child.in the West, He took advantage of European credulity and lax border controls to bring France drive the car to Italy, then drive the Italian car to France, and sell it at a reduced price, from which profit.However, he was eventually found out in France and he was arrested.At this time, he He wrote a letter to the Soviet embassy in France, expressing his willingness to return to his beloved motherland.Pavel's calculation at the time was like this: If he went to a French prison, he would have to stay until the last day of his sentence, and he might be sentenced to ten years in prison.Back in the Soviet Union, he could have been sentenced to twenty-five years for treason, but, he thought, the torrential rain of World War III had begun to rain.As for the Soviet Union, according to him, it could not survive even three years after the war broke out.Therefore, it is more beneficial to go to a Soviet prison.Naturally, the friends from the embassy came to receive him very quickly, and hugged Petya Paffer.The French authorities readily agreed to hand over the thief to the Soviets.The embassy had assembled about thirty people like Pavel and others in a similar situation.The embassy transported them comfortably by ship to Murmansk in the Soviet Union.After docking, they were allowed to wander around the city, and then they were arrested one by one within a day and night. Now, in our cell, Petya can replace Western newspapers (he has carefully read the reports on the Kravchenko case in Western newspapers), theaters (he can play Western music with his mouth lightly) and movies ( He told us about the content of Western films, and he acted while speaking). How free was Kuibyshev's deportation station!People from various cells can sometimes meet in the large courtyard.You can also talk to the prisoners in the courtyard through the hood outside the window.When going to the toilet, you can go to the open windows of the family shed, nailed with iron fences, but not equipped with buckets. There are female prisoners with children (they are also from the Baltic Sea coast and western Ukraine. caught).There is a small hole in the wall between the two stable cells, which we call the "telephone", and every day from morning to night, there is always a meddler on each side of the small hole, half lying half lying down, exchanging messages with each other. This freedom makes us more aggressive, and we feel that the ground under our feet is very solid, but the ground under the feet of our guards seems to be about to burn.Therefore, when we were walking in the courtyard, we couldn't help looking up at the gray and sultry June sky.We would neither be surprised nor frightened if an enemy bomber formation appeared in the sky at this time.Our life is really not like life. People from Calabasas deportation station, going in the opposite direction, brought rumors that little leaflets had appeared there saying, "Enough is enough!" This happened in Omsk: one hot night, when everyone was sweating like coming out of a steamer, the guards packed us into the crow cart, which was full.我们便从车厢里对看守们喊起来："等着瞧吧，兔崽子们！杜鲁门会来收拾你们的！把原子弹扔到你们头上！"可是看守们却一声没吭。他们也感觉到了我们这方面的力量在增长，而且我们深信自己是正义的。我们非常渴望真理的实现，甚至宁愿在同一颗炸弹之下和这些刽子手们同归于尽。我们所处的境地没有什么可丢失的。 不写下这个情况，就无法揭示五十年代古拉格群岛的全貌。 鄂木斯克的牢狱是关押过阳思妥耶夫斯基的，这可不是匆匆忙忙用木板钉起来的古拉格系统下的递解站。这是沙皇叶卡捷琳娜时期建造的威严的监狱，特别是它的地下室。要是找拍电影的场景，没有比这地下牢房更合适的了。四方形的小窗口就是一条通向地面的斜坑道的下端。根据这条三米深的斜坑道便可以看出车房的墙是用什么构成，有多么坚固了。牢房里没有所谓的屋顶，它是一个形成穹隆状的倾斜的大石洞。有一面墙湿淋淋的，不断地渗出水来，滴到地上。早晚这里漆黑一片，即使在晴朗的白天牢里也是昏暗的。看不见老鼠，但是总感觉到它的存在。本来石穹隆有些地方就低得只有一人多高，但监狱当局还是想方设法在这里修了两层睡铺下铺刚刚高出地面一点点，只有脚踝骨那么高。 我们在使人放纵的古比雪夫递解站期间发展起来的那种模糊的反抗精神，看来，遇到这样的监狱之后总该被压服了吧。但是，并没有！每天晚上，在蜡烛般微弱的十五支光的电灯下，敖德萨大教堂的长老，谢了顶的、瘦长脸膛的德罗兹多夫老头，还是照例要站到坑道窗口的底端去，用低低的声音，满怀着迎接生命的终结的无限感慨，唱起他那支古老的革命歌曲： 秋天的夜晚，一片漆黑， 它有如背叛的行径，恰似暴君的乖戾。 而这座监狱，在雾气中挺立的 这可怖的幽灵，却比秋夜还黑！ 他只是唱给我们听。不过，在这里，即使大声喊叫，外面也听不见。他唱的时候，可以看见他尖突的喉结在那干瘪的、青铜色的脖子皮肤下面滚动。他边唱边抽泣，他在回忆，在脑海中一幕幕重温过去几十年俄罗斯人民的生活。他的内心战栗感染着我们： 虽然这里一片沉寂， 但监狱绝不是坟地。 而你，看守人呀， 且莫疏忽大意！ 在这样的监狱里，听这样的歌声！"一切都是合拍的，一切都是和我们这些囚犯们所等待的东西合拍的。 听完他的歌。我们就在黑暗中，在阴冷潮湿中收拾收拾睡觉了。是啊，此时此刻还有谁的话语能温暖我们的心呢？ 这时，仿佛是对这期待的响应一样传来了一个声音，这是伊万?阿列克谢耶维奇?斯帕斯基说话了。他的声音好像是阳思妥耶夫斯基小说里所有主人公的混合声音。这声音时而高亢得无法攀援，时而又低沉得令人窒息，它既不单调，也不宁静，仿佛随时可能变成哭泣、变成痛苦的呐喊。即使是布列什科-布列什科夫斯基笔下的廉价小说《红色马顿那》之类，要是用这种声音，用这种充满信念、痛苦和憎恨的声音读出来，也会像是关于罗兰的史诗那样激动人心。所以，真实也罢，完全是臆造也罢，反正他所讲的故事已经作为一个史诗铭刻在我们记忆里了，他讲到维克托?沃罗宁曾徒步急行军一百五十公里奇袭托列多，给阿尔卡扎尔要塞解了围。 其实，要把这个斯帕斯基本人的一生写成小说的话，它在小说中也未必会是最糟糕的一部。斯帕斯基青年时就曾参加过"冰上进军""，整个内战时期他一直南征北战。后来流亡到意大利。在国外修完了俄国芭蕾舞课程（好像是跟卡尔萨维娜学习的），又在俄国某伯爵夫人家里学会了一手做细木家具的漂亮手艺。（后来，在劳改营里，无人不夸他的好手艺：他自制了一套小巧的木匠工具，用它给劳改营的头头们做了一张小桌，线条优美一，轻便漂亮，使他们大为惊讶。不错，这张小桌子他整整做了一个月。）后来，他曾随着芭蕾舞剧团在欧洲各地巡回演出。在西班牙战争期间，他替意大利拍摄过新闻记录影片。后来，他用了一个稍为有点变音的意大利人名字--若万尼?帕斯基--在意大利军队里当了少校。于是，一九四二年夏天他便随部队又来到他的故乡顿河一带。尽管当时总的形势是苏联军队仍在继续后退，但他指挥的那个营在这里很快就落入了苏军包围圈。斯帕斯基本人原想拼命冲出去，但是组成该营基本力量的那些意大利孩子们吓哭了；他们想活命！这时斯帕斯基少校动摇了，终于挂出了白旗。他自己是有机会用一颗子弹了此一生的，但那时他却产生了好奇心：想看看苏联人到底是个什么样子。他本来能够作为意大利军普通战俘在四年之后被送回意大利的。但是，他身上的那种俄罗斯人本性憋不住了，他同俘虏他的苏军军官们无话不谈，以至忘乎所以了。一失足成千古恨！既然你不幸是个俄国人，你本该像讳言自己的花柳病一般对此讳莫如深呀，否则，哪里会有你的便宜！先关了他一年，后来又在哈尔科夫的国际战俘营（也还有这样一个营呢，里面关押着西班牙人、意大利人、日本人等）里关了三年。在他已经被关押四年之后--这四年除外--又到了他二十五年！哪里还要等二十五年呀，在这苦役营里，他已注定不久就要死去了。 我们进了鄂木斯克监狱，然后又被转押到巴夫洛达监狱。这两处监狱之所以同意接受我们这批犯人，是因为这两个市的当局有一个重大的疏忽：至今还没有建立专门的速解站。巴夫洛达市甚至更加可耻：连黑乌鸦囚车也没有，因而只好让我们这些囚犯排着队从车站走到监狱，经过好几个街区，也只好不怕居民看见了。革命之前和革命之后的头十年就是这样押解犯人的。我们通过的几个街区没有一条柏油马路，没有自来水管，只见一排排木造的平房沉在黄沙里。实际上只是从监狱的两层砖房开始才有点像个城市样子。 但是，用二十世纪的眼光来看，这所监狱给人的感觉不是恐怖，而是宁静，不是可怕，而是可笑。宽敞寂静的小院，屋边墙角处长出一点可怜的小草，用木板隔开的放风场地也不显得可怕。二层楼上的牢房的窗子只钉着稀疏的铁栅栏，窗外没有装"笼口"，可以站到窗前去研究外面的地形。窗子下面，就在脚下，在狱墙和外面的院墙之间，铁链拴着一只大黄狗，时而像是发现了什么动静似地曳着铁链跑几步，汪汪两声。但它也不像监狱里的狗，样子不可怕，不像那些专门训练来咬人的狼狗。一身蓬松的浅黄毛说明它是一只普通种的看家狗（哈萨克斯坦有这样一种狗），而且，它已经老得不行了。这狗倒像那些好心肠的老年看守，这些人都是从军队调来的，他们毫不隐讳自己已经为这狗一般的看守职务所苦恼了。 越过狱墙，可以看到街道、卖啤酒的小铺子、路上的行人和呆立着的人--他们是来给犯人送东西或是等着取回容器的。再往远看就是住宅区，平房组成的一片片街区，额尔齐斯河的河湾，甚至可以看见河对岸很远的地方。 岗楼上的哨兵刚刚把留下了"牢饭"的空篮子退还给一个活泼可爱的小姑娘。小女孩接过篮子，一抬头看到了我们正站在窗口向她挥手致意，但她却装作若无其事的样子从容不迫地、庄重地向啤酒小铺的房后走去了，她怕岗楼上的哨兵看到她。可是，一到房后，她就完全变成另一个人了：她放下篮子，举起双手使劲朝我们不住地挥动，边挥手边笑！然后，她用手指作出各种圈圈点点的动作，向我们表示："写吧，写小纸条吧！"又在空中划了一条抛物线，表示："扔下来，扔给我！"然后又向市区那边指了指，意思是："我送去，替你们转交!"然后她又把两手张开，好像在说；"还有什么事？还能帮你们作点什么？朋友们？" 她做这一切时是那么诚恳、直爽，丝毫不像我们那些备受欺凌虐待的狱外的自由人们，不像那些被弄得昏头昏脑的公民们。What exactly is going on? ? ?是这样的时刻到了吗？或者只是在哈萨克斯坦如此？须知，这里的居民中几乎有一半人是流放来的呀！ ... 可爱的无畏的小女孩啊!难为你那么快就学会、就正确地掌握了监狱生活这门科学！世界上仍旧存在像你这样的人，这本身该是多么令人欣慰啊！（我这眼角里是不是夺眶欲出的喜悦的泪水？）……请你，无名的女孩子，接受我们的敬礼吧！啊，要是全国人民都像这样该有多好！那就谁也不敢来关押他们了！那些可诅咒的爪牙就会统统完蛋！ 当然，在我们的棉背心里还藏着几节铅笔芯断头。也有几小块纸片。可以从墙上抠下一小块灰泥来，用细线把小条子缠上，扔到她的眼前去。但是，我们在这个巴夫洛达市确实没有任何事情要求她帮忙的。所以我们只是向她鞠躬道谢，挥手致意而已。 我们被带进了沙漠地带。甚至那质朴僻静的小市巴夫洛达后来想起来都像一个灯火辉煌的大都市。 现在，斯捷普特种劳改营的押解队把我们接收了。（不过，幸而还不是杰兹卡兹甘的劳改营分部。我们一路上都在祷告命运之神，千万不要把我们弄到铜矿去。）来了几辆大卡车接我们，车帮加高了很多，车身前部装着铁栅栏以保护那些冲锋枪手并把我们像野兽一样隔开来。我们被紧紧地塞到车里，蜷着腿坐下，脸朝车后。我们就这样在坎坷不平的路上整整颠簸摇晃了八个小时。冲锋枪手坐在驾驶室的顶篷上，枪口一直对准我们的后背。 那些少尉们、上士们则坐在驾驶室里。我们这辆车的驾驶室里坐的是一个军官的妻子和她的一个五六岁的女孩。每当汽车停下来休息时，小女孩就跳下去，在草地上跑，采集野花，大声和妈妈说话。对于冲锋枪、军犬、从车里露出头来的丑陋的囚犯们，她都毫不在意。我们这个可怕的世界并没有使草地和野花在她心目中有所逊色，她甚至没有向我们这边投过来哪怕是好奇的一瞥……这时，我想起了札哥尔斯克特种监狱里的准尉的小儿子。那个小孩最喜欢的游戏是：叫两个邻居孩子把手背在身后（有时还把他们的手绑起来）在路上走，他自己则拿着根子走在旁边押解他们。 Like father, like son!父亲过什么生活，孩子们就玩什么游戏…… 我们渡过了额尔齐斯河。汽车经过一大段浸了水的草地，然后行驶在平坦的沙漠上，黄昏时停下来休息。这时，飞驶的车轮带起的浅灰色旋风也随着平息下来，我们沉浸在额尔齐斯河的气息中，沉浸在沙漠之夜的清新空气和蒿草的芳香中。我们满身尘土，面向走过来的方向（绝对不许回头看前进的方向），沉默着（绝不许讲话），心里想着那个未来的特种劳改营，它的名称人像是俄罗斯人起的。换乘"斯托雷平囚车"时，车顶上吊看我们的"卷宗"，我们看到过那上面有劳改营的名称--埃克巴斯图兹。但是谁也想不出它在地图上的位置，只有奥列格?伊万诺夫中校记得这是一个煤矿。我们还曾设想它的位置在距中国边界不远的地方（某些人甚至为此而高兴，同为他们还没有认识到中国比我国还要坏得多）。原海军中校布尔科夫斯基是个新犯人，也是判刑二十五年的。他对谁都不屑一顾。本来嘛，他是共产党员，是被错抓的，周围这些人都是人民的敌人。但对我还算另眼看待，因为我曾经是苏军军官，而且没有当过德国俘虏。他帮我想起了在大学学过、但早已忘记的东西：在秋分的前一天在地上划一道正午线，在九月二十三日那天，从九十度中减去太阳处于中天时的高度，就能得出我们所在地的地理纬度数。尽管求不出经度来，但能知道纬度也多少算一种安慰了。 我们的汽车不停地往前开。it's dark.根据夜空中明亮的星辰，我们才明确地知道：我们正在被押往"南南西"的方向。 后面汽车车灯的光柱里，一缕缕灰尘在飞舞。其实，道路上空尘土飞扬，只不过在灯光下才看得见。我这时有一种奇特的幻觉：似乎整个世界都是漆黑的，整个世界都在摇晃，只有这些尘土的微粒在发光，在飞旋，在画出未来的不祥图景。 我们是被押往哪个天涯海角啊？去哪个洞穴啊？我们注定要在什么地方进行我们的革命呢？ 蜷着的腿已经麻木，觉得已经不是自己的腿。半夜时我们来到了用高高的木板墙围起来的劳改营。在漆黑的沙漠中，在离开沉睡的黑呼呼的村庄不远的地方，这片营地被四周岗楼上的灯光照得通明。 又按各人的案情点了一次名（"一九七五年三月！"）。然后，把我们带进两道高大的门内去度过今后的四分之一世纪。 全营都在沉睡，但所有工棚的窗子都透出明亮的灯光，仿佛那里的生活正在沸腾。夜晚不熄灯，这就表明，这里实行的是监狱制度。工棚的门从外面用沉甸甸的挂锁反锁住，在一个个明亮的长方形窗孔里可以看到黑色的铁栅栏。 出来接人的生活助理员的身上缝着许多块号码布。 在德国法西斯的集中营里人们身上是带着号码的，这你在报纸上看到过吧？