Chapter 5 chapter Five

We won't be staying in Biskra for long.After the rainy days in February, the weather suddenly became hot.After several days of torrential rain, I woke up one morning to a blue sky.I got up quickly and ran to the highest platform.The sky is clear, the rising sun has emerged from the mist, and it is already shining brightly; the oasis is transpiring; the roar of the swollen river can be heard in the distance.How clean and fresh the air was, I felt instantly better.Marceline came up too, and we wanted to go for a walk; but the road was too muddy that day to go out. A few days later, we came to Losif's garden again, and saw that the branches and leaves of the plants had absorbed enough water and looked soft and heavy.I have not yet experienced the waiting of this land of Africa; dormant in the long days of winter, now awakened, drunk with water, alive, laughing in the blazing spring; I feel the echo of this spring , like my avatar.At first we were accompanied by Ashur and Moktil, and I still enjoyed their frivolous friendship, which cost me only half a franc a day; Their health as an example, and their games no longer affording me pleasure, I turned to Maceline for the stimulation of my mind and senses.From her happiness, I found that she is still very sad.I apologized like a child, that I had often snubbed her, and blamed my ill health for my capricious temper, and that up to that time I had been too weak to have sex with her, but since then I gradually recovered, and Feel a surge of lust.I was right, but my health was undoubtedly still weak, and it was only after more than a month that I longed to have sex with Maceline.

The temperature is increasing day by day.Biskra had its charms, and it reminded me of that life afterwards, but otherwise we had nothing to miss.We suddenly decided to leave, and it took us three hours to pack our luggage. It was the train in the early morning of the next day. I still remember the night before the departure clearly.The moon is eight or nine cents round, and it shines in through the open window, filling the room with brilliance.I think Marceline is fast asleep.I lay in bed and couldn't sleep, and I felt a pleasant excitement, which was nothing but life.I got up, dipped my hands and face in the water, then opened the glass door and went out.

The night was late, silent, without a sound, the air seemed to be asleep, except for the faint barking of dogs in the distance; those Arabian dogs howled all night like jackals.In front of you is a small courtyard, and the wall forms a slanting shadow; the neat palms are colorless and lifeless, and seem to be forever static... Generally speaking, the pulse of life can always be found in deep sleep, but here, there is no sign of sleep , everything seems to be dead.Facing this silence, I couldn't help being terrified. Suddenly, the sadness of my life invaded my heart again, as if I wanted to fight in this silence.Manifestation and moaning; the almost painful sensation was so violent that I would have howled, if I could hiss like a beast.I still remember grabbing my hands, my right hand grabbing my left, trying to lift it above my head, and I did.why?Just to show that I'm alive and to feel how wonderful it is to be alive.I touched my forehead and eyelids, trembling all over.I thought that one day, I would be so thirsty that I might not even have the strength to bring the water glass to my mouth... I turned back and went back to the house, but I didn't lie down again; I wanted to fix this night and engrave it on my heart. In my memory, I will never forget; I didn't know what to do, so I picked up a book from the table—the "Bible", opened it casually, and I could see the words by the moonlight; I read this passage that Christ said to Peter Words, alas!Later, I never forgot: now you can do whatever you want, and go wherever you want; however, when you get old in the future, you have to reach out... you have to reach out... the next morning, we set off.