Chapter 16 Chapter Sixteen

Armand went on to say to me: "I could have told you briefly the reasons for our union, but I want you to know what events and twists and turns I have gone through before I can tell Margaret If I obey everything, Margaret will regard me as her indispensable companion in life." The day after the evening she came to see me, I gave her Manon Lescaut. Henceforth, as I could not change my mistress's life, I changed my own.First of all, I didn't allow my mind time to think about the role I had just accepted, because I couldn't help but feel very bad when I thought about it.My life, which used to be quiet and undisturbed, suddenly became chaotic.Don't think that the love of a prostitute who is not greedy for money will not cost you much.She has a thousand hobbies: bouquets, boxes, suppers, outings, requests that a mistress can never refuse, and they are all very expensive.

As I told you, I have no property.My father was and is the Chief Tax Collector of City C, and he had such a good reputation of integrity that he borrowed the bond necessary to hold the position.This position brought him forty thousand francs a year, and after ten years he had paid the security deposit and saved my sister's dowry.My father was a very respectable man.My mother's death left me an annuity of six thousand francs, which he divided equally between me and my sister the day he obtained the office he desired.Then, when I was twenty-one, my father added to my small income an allowance of five thousand francs a year, and I had eight thousand francs a year.He told me that if, in addition to this annuity income, I would find a job in the judiciary or in the medical profession, I could live comfortably in Paris.So I came to Paris, studied law, was called to the bar, and like many young people, I put my diploma in my pocket and gave myself a few days to the lazy life of Paris.I am very frugal in food and money, but my annual income only covers my expenses for eight months.I spent the four months of the summer at my father's house, which amounted to an annual income of twelve thousand francs, and earned me the reputation of a dutiful son, without being in debt for a cent.

This is what it was like when I met Margaret. You know my daily expenses have naturally increased, and Margaret is very capricious.There are women who depend their lives upon amusements of all kinds, and do not regard them as great expenses at all.Margaret was such a woman.As a result, in order to spend as much time with me as possible, she often wrote in the morning and asked me to have dinner with me, not at her home, but at a restaurant in Paris or in the suburbs.I will pick her up, have dinner together, go to the theater together, and often have supper together. I will spend four or five louis every night, so I will have two thousand five hundred to three thousand francs a month. My income was spent in three and a half months, and I had to borrow money or leave Margaret.

But I can accept anything but this latter possibility. Forgive me for telling you so many trivial details, but you will see how they relate to what is to come.What I am telling you is a true and simple story, which I have kept in its unpretentious details and its straightforward development. I understood, therefore, that since nothing in the world could make me forget my mistress, I must find a way of meeting my increased expenses for her.Moreover, this love had so captivated me that as long as I was away from Marguerite, the days seemed like years to me, and I felt the need to give myself to some passion to pass the time, to let the days pass so quickly that I would forget the passage of time.

I began to embezzle five or six thousand francs out of my small stake, and I began to gamble.Since casinos were outlawed, people can gamble everywhere.Once upon a time, as soon as one entered the Frascati Casino, one had the chance to make a fortune.Everyone gambles with cash, and losers can comfort themselves by saying that they have a chance to win; but now, except in clubs, where winning or losing is more serious, in other places, if you win a large sum of money, you will almost certainly take it. less than.The reason is easy to understand. The gamblers are always young men who spend a great deal and have not enough to support the life they lead; and the result of their gamble is this: if they win, the loser pays for the gentlemen's chariots and mistresses. Money, it's embarrassing.Debts abound, and friendships formed around the green table-cloths are broken in quarrels, and honor and life always suffer; and if you're an honest man, you'll be dishonored by more honest young men One penny, these young people have no other mistakes, but they are short of annuity income of 200,000 livres.

As for those who play tricks on gambling, I don't need to tell you, they will get out of it one day, and they will be punished sooner or later. What could I do about myself throwing myself into this tense, chaotic, violent life, which I had been afraid to even think about, and which was now an indispensable supplement to my love for Marguerite. ? If I stay at home alone one night without going to the Rue d'Antin, I can't sleep.I was so jealous that I couldn't sleep, my mind and my blood were on fire, and gambling could temporarily divert the burning passion in me, and lead it to another passion, and I couldn't help throwing myself into it, gambling all the time. Until the time when I should be meeting my mistress.So from here I see the intensity of my love, win or lose, I leave the table with no regrets and feel sorry for those who are still there, they will not leave like me There is a feeling of happiness when playing at the table.

For most people gambling is a need, for me it was a medicine. If I didn't love Margaret, I wouldn't gamble. Therefore, in the process of gambling, I can be quite calm, I only lose what I can pay, and I only win what I can afford to lose. And, I'm lucky.I'm debt-free, but I spend three times more than I did before I didn't gamble.This kind of life would allow me to satisfy Marguerite's thousand capricious demands without difficulty, but it was not easy to maintain this kind of life.For her part, she has always loved me as much as ever, and even more than ever. As I told you just now, at the beginning she only received me from midnight to six in the morning, then she allowed me to enter her box often, and later she sometimes came to eat with me dinner.One morning I didn't leave her until eight o'clock, and another day I didn't leave until noon.

In anticipation of Margaret's spiritual transformation, her physical body has changed.I had tried to cure her, and the poor girl guessed my purpose, and, as a token of her gratitude, heeded my advice.It took me very little trouble to get her to give up her old habits almost entirely.The doctor to whom I sent her told me that nothing but rest and tranquility could restore her to health, and I prescribed a wholesome regime for her suppers, and fixed hours for her sleep.Marguerite got used to this new way of life unconsciously, and she herself felt that it was beneficial to her health.She began to spend some evenings in her own house, or when the weather was fine, wrapped in a cashmere shawl and a veil, and we wandered like two children through the dark streets of the Champs-Elysées.She was a little tired when she came back, so she ate some snacks, played the piano for a while, or read a book for a while before going to bed.Such a thing had never happened to her before.That cough that used to make my heart ache every time I heard it was almost gone.

At the end of six weeks the earl was out of the question and completely forgotten, except that I had to continue to conceal my relationship with Margaret from the duke; while I was with Marguerite, however, the duke often He was sent away on the pretext that his wife was sleeping and no one was allowed to wake her up. The result was the habit, even a need, of Margaret's need to be with me, so that I could leave the table just when a shrewd gambler should be slipping his feet.In short, as I always won, I found ten thousand francs in my hand, which seemed to me an inexhaustible fortune. The time has come when I usually go to visit my father and sister every year, but I don't go, so I often receive letters from both of them asking me to go home.

To these letters urging me to go home, I answered each with tact and tact, always saying that I was in good health and that I was not short of money.I think these two points may give my father some comfort in my delay in returning home to visit relatives. During this period, one morning, Marguerite was awakened by the strong sunlight, and she jumped out of bed and asked me if I would take her to play in the country for a day. We sent for Prudence, and Marguerite told Nanine to tell the duke that she was going to play in the country with Madame Duvernoy in this fine weather.Then the three of us left together.

Apart from the presence of Duvernois, which reassured the old prince, it seemed that Prudence was a born woman for picnics.With her high spirits all day long and her insatiable appetite, there is never a dull moment in her company, and she knows how to order eggs, cherries, milk, fried rabbit and all those Parisian picnic essentials Less traditional food. We just need to know where to go. Prudence once again solved the problem which made us hesitate. "Do you want to go to a real country?" she asked. "yes." "Well, then, let's go to Bougival together, to the hotel of the Widow Arnoux at the Hotel du Dawn. Armand, to rent a carriage." ① Bougival: a small village in the west of Paris. An hour and a half later we arrived at the hotel of the widow Arnoux. You probably know this restaurant, which is a hotel six days a week and a café on Sundays.It has a garden that is as high as a two-story building, and the view from there is very beautiful.On the left is the endless Marly Aqueduct, on the right are continuous hills; between the Capillon Plain and the Croissy Island, there is a small silvery river, which is almost stagnant in this area, like a wide river. The white corrugated ribbon stretched out to both sides.The tall poplars on both banks are swaying in the wind, and the willows are whispering, coaxing the river to sleep. In the distance stands a small house with red tiles and white walls, and some factories. Under the bright sunlight, they add a layer of charming color.As for the dry and commercial character of these factories, it is impossible to see clearly because of the distance. As far as the eye can see, it is Paris shrouded in clouds and fog. It was a real country, as Prudence told us, and, I should also say, a real lunch. Not because I'm grateful for the happiness I get from it.But Bougival, despite its ugly name, is an ideal landscape.I have traveled a great deal, and seen many magnificent sights, but never have I seen a more beautiful place than this little country nestled peacefully at the foot of the mountains. Madame Arnoux suggested that we go for a river cruise, which Marguerite and Prudence gladly accepted. People always associate the country with love, and for good reason.There is no better match for the woman you love than the blue sky, the grass, the flowers, and the breeze in the bright fields or in the silent woods.However much you love a woman, however much you trust her, however much her past behavior may guarantee her future fidelity, you will always be somewhat jealous.If you've ever been in love, seriously in love, you've definitely felt the need to cut off from the world the person you want to have all to yourself.No matter how indifferent your beloved woman may be to those around her, she seems to lose her fragrance and integrity as soon as she comes into contact with other men and things.This is something I understand more deeply than others.My love is not an ordinary love, I am in love as an ordinary man can do when he is in love, but I am in love with Marguerite Gautier, which means that in Paris, I am in love with every step. Maybe meet someone who has been her lover, or is about to become her lover.As for the country, we are completely surrounded by people we have never met and do not care about us, in the embrace of nature in this annual spring, far from the noise of the city, I can fall in love with each other , but not to love with shame, with fear. The image of the prostitute fades away here.Next to me is a beautiful young woman named Marguerite, I love her, she loves me, the past is gone, the future is bright.The sun shines on my mistress as it shines on the purest betrothed.We walked together in these poetic places, which seem to be deliberately reminiscent of the verses of Lamartine and the songs of Scudu.Marguerite was wearing a long white dress, leaning on my arm.At night, under a starry sky, she repeated to me what she had said to me the day before.In the distance, the city continues its tumultuous life, untainted by it in the gaiety of our youth and love. ① Lamartine (1790-1869): French romantic poet in the nineteenth century. ② Sijudu (1806-1864): French composer and music theorist in the 19th century. This is the dream brought to me by the scorching sun that day through the gaps in the leaves.Our cruise ship stopped on an isolated island, and we lay on the grass of the island, cutting off all human relations in the past. I let my thoughts fluctuate and look forward to the future. From where I was, I also saw a small and lovely three-story house on the bank, with a semicircular iron fence outside, and through this fence, there was a piece of emerald green flat like velvet in front of the house. Meadows, and behind the house there is a mysterious and secluded grove.On this meadow, the paths that had been trodden one day were flooded with new moss the next day. Blossoms from some vines line the steps of this empty house up to the second floor. I stared at the house, and at last I thought it was mine, because it fit my dream so well.I saw Marguerite and myself in this house, in the woods on this hill by day, and sitting together on the green meadow at night, and I wondered if there was anyone else in the world Can we be as happy as we are? "What a beautiful house!" said Margaret to me, who had followed my eyes and probably thought the same. "Where is it?" asked Prudence. "Over there." Margaret pointed to the house. "Ah! how beautiful," continued Prudence, "do you like it?" "I like it very much." "Then tell the duke that he will rent the house to you, and I'm sure he will agree. I'll take care of that. Let me do it if you like." Marguerite looked at me as if asking for my opinion on the matter. My dream had been shattered with the last words of Prudence, and I suddenly fell into reality and was thrown dizzily. "Yeah, that's a great idea," I stammered, not knowing what I was talking about. "Then, I will arrange everything," Marguerite said, holding my hand, and she understood my words according to her own wishes. "Go and see if this house is for rent." The house was vacant and the rent was two thousand francs. "Are you happy to be here?" she asked me. "Am I sure I can come here?" "If not for you, then for whom did I hide here?" "Well, Margaret, let me rent the house myself." "Are you crazy? This is not only useless, but also dangerous. You know that I can only accept one person's arrangement, so let me do it, silly boy, don't talk too much." "Then, if I have two free days in a row, I'll come and live with you," said Prudence. We left the house and started on our way to Paris, talking about this new project.I held Marguerite in my arms, so that when I got out of the car I was able to consider my mistress' plans with some peace of mind.