Chapter 15 Chapter fifteen

Joseph and I had been busy for nearly an hour getting ready for my departure when someone yanked my doorbell. "Do you want to open the door?" Joseph asked me. "Come on," I said to him, wondering who would come to my house at a time like this, because I couldn't believe it was Margaret. "Sir," said Joseph, returning to me, "these are the ladies." "It is us, Armand," cried a voice which I recognized as Prudence's. I walk out of the bedroom. Prudence stood looking at some of the furnishings in my drawing room, while Marguerite sat in a sofa chair and meditated.

After I went in, I went straight to her, knelt down, took her hands, and said to her excitedly, "Forgive me." She kissed my forehead and said to me: "This is the third time I have forgiven you." "Otherwise I'm leaving tomorrow." "Why should my visit change your decision? I have not come to prevent you from leaving Paris. I have come because I have no time in the day to write to you, and I do not want you to think that I am angry with you." Rudence won't let me come, she says I might disturb you." "You, bother me? You, Marguerite! How come?"

"Of course! There may be a woman in your family," replied Prudence. "It's not fun for her to see two more coming." Marguerite eyed me attentively while Prudence delivered her discourse. "My dear Prudence," I replied, "you are talking nonsense." "Your apartment is very nicely furnished," said Prudence hastily. "May we have a look at your bedroom?" "Can." Prudence came into my bedroom, not really to see it, but to redeem her folly, and thus leave Marguerite and me alone. So I asked her: "Why did you bring Prudence?"

"Because she's with me when I go to the theater, and I need someone to be with me when I leave here." "Aren't I here?" "Yes, but on the one hand I don't want to trouble you, on the other hand I am sure you will ask to come upstairs to my house when you arrive at my door, and I can't agree to it, and I don't want to make you leave me by my refusal." Now I have another right to blame me." "Then why can't you receive me?" "Because I am under strict surveillance, a little carelessness will make a big mistake."

"Is it just for this reason?" "If there is any other reason, I will tell you that there are no more secrets between us." "Well, Marguerite, I don't want to talk to you in an oblique way, but tell me, do you love me at all?" "Love it so much." "Then why did you lie to me?" "My friend, if I were some kind of duchess, if I had a pension of two hundred thousand livres, and after I had been your mistress I had another mistress, you might have the right to ask me Why lie to you; but I am Mademoiselle Marguerite Gautier, I have debts of forty thousand francs, not a single copper in property, and spend a hundred thousand francs a year, so your question is meaningless , I answer you in vain."

"It is true," I said, with my head on Marguerite's knee, "but I am madly in love with you." "Then, my friend, love me less and understand me more. Your letter makes me very sad. If my body were free, first of all I would not have received the count the day before yesterday, and if I had received him, I would not have received him." will come to beg your pardon as you begged me just now, and that I shall never have another lover but you. For a while I thought I might have six months of happiness, but you would not, you You have to know what method is used, oh my God! what method is used? I sacrificed more than you think in using these methods. I could have said to you: I need 20,000 francs ;You are loving me now, and you may plan it, and you may blame me later. I would rather not bother you at all. You do not know my consideration for you, because it is my painstaking effort. We Women, when we have a little conscience, we say and do things with a meaning that no other woman can understand; so I say it to you again, to Margaret Gotti Eyre said that she found a way to pay off the debt without asking you for money is a kindness to you, and you should take advantage of it in silence. If you only met me today, you would have my promise to you I am so happy that you will not ask me what I did the day before yesterday. Sometimes we are forced to sacrifice our bodies in exchange for spiritual satisfaction, but when the spiritual satisfaction is also lost, we feel more pain It's unbearable."

I listened and looked at Marguerite with admiration.When I think about this human creature whose feet I used to long to kiss, who now lets me see into the depths of her mind and makes me a part of her life, and I'm not satisfied with that now, I can't help but ask myself whether there is an end to human desires.I realized my dream so quickly, but I was pushing the envelope again. "It is true," she went on, "that we women at the mercy of our fate have queer desires and uncanny loves. We commit ourselves sometimes for one thing and sometimes for another. People. There are those who lose their fortunes for us and get nothing, and there are those who buy us for a bouquet of flowers. We do as we please, and that is our only diversion and our only excuse. I commit myself to you Anyone is fast, I can swear to you, why? Because you held my hand when I spit blood, and you shed tears, because you are the only one who really sympathizes with me. I'm going to tell you a joke: Once upon a time I had a little dog who always looked at me sadly when I coughed, and was the only animal I ever loved.

①In French conversations, the second-person plural (you) is generally used instead of the second-person singular (you) to express politeness; but the second-person singular (you) is still used for close people.In the case of symmetry in this book, "you" and "you" are sometimes used interchangeably, depending on the mood and occasion of the speaker at that time. "When it died, I cried more than my own mother. I was indeed beaten and scolded by my mother for twelve years. In this way, I fell in love with you at once, just like falling in love with you. Same with my dog. If men knew what they could get with their tears, they'd be more likable, and we wouldn't squander their money like this.

"Your letter exposed your truth. This letter tells me that you don't understand in your heart. From the perspective of my love for you, no matter what you do to me, there is no more harm to me than this letter. Bigger, it's also true that it's the result of jealousy, but it's ridiculous and gross. I was sick enough when I got your letter, and I was going to To see you at noon, to have lunch with you, and only after seeing you can I erase some thoughts that have always been entangled in my mind, and I didn't take these things seriously before I met you. "And," continued Marguerite, "I believe it is only in your presence that I can tell the truth and talk about everything. People who hang around girls like me like to talk about everything about them." I'm trying to get to the bottom of what they say, trying to find meaning in their unintentional actions. Of course we don't have any friends, all we have are selfish lovers, and their squandering of money is not for us as they say, but for us. For their own vanity.

"For these people, when they are happy, we must be happy; when they want to eat supper, we must be energetic; when they are suspicious, we must also be suspicious. We people cannot have any conscience, otherwise To be ridiculed, to be slandered. "We're out of control, we're no longer human beings, we're inanimate things. We're the first thing they think of when they want to satisfy their egos, but they see us as inferior to everyone else. We have some girlfriends , but they are all girlfriends like Prudence, who used to be prostitutes and used to spend money, but now they are old and they are not allowed to do so, so they became our friends, or more so. Our diners. Their camaraderie can even be driven, but never selfless. They always give us ideas on how to make money. As long as they can earn some clothes and jewelry, can Often go out and about in our car, can sit in our box to see the theater, it doesn't matter to them if we have a dozen lovers. They took the bouquet we used the day before, borrowed our cashmere Shawls. Even for a trifle as small as a sesame seed, they demanded a double thank you, or they would not serve us. Didn't you see it with your own eyes that night? Prudence brought it for me Six thousand francs, which I asked her to get for me from the duke. She borrowed five hundred francs from me, which she will never pay me back, or pay me a little at no cost to them. child's hat.

"Therefore we, or rather I, can have only one happiness, and that is to find a man of high rank. A sentimental, miserable wretch who suffers day and night from illness, the only happiness I can have is to find a man whose The man who came to ask me about my life, he can be a more emotional lover than carnal. I have found this man in the past, it is the Duke, but the Duke is too old to protect me or comfort me. I thought I could accept it The life he arranged for me, but what do you want me to do? I'm so sick of it. If a person is destined to die by torture, isn't it the same to jump into a fire and be poisoned with gas? ! "At that time, I met you. You were young, enthusiastic, and happy. I wanted to make you the person I was looking for in my busy and lonely life. What I love in you is not the person you are now, but the future The person you should be. You don't accept this role, you don't think this role is suitable for you and refuse to accept it, then you are just an ordinary lover; you pay me like anyone else, and don't talk about these things gone." After this long confession, Margaret was very tired. She leaned on the back of the sofa chair. In order to suppress a cough caused by weakness, she pressed a handkerchief to her lips and even covered her eyes. on. "Forgive me, forgive me," I murmured, "I understand everything myself, but I would like to hear it from you, my dearest Marguerite, we only need to remember one thing , forget the rest; that we were never parted, that we were young, that we loved each other. "Marguerite, do what you will with me, I am your slave, your dog; but for heaven's sake, tear up the letter I wrote you, and don't let me go tomorrow, or I'm going to die." Marguerite took the letter I had given her from the breast of her dress and returned it to me, saying to me with an indescribable smile: "Look, I've brought you the letter." I tore up the letter and kissed the hand she extended to me with tears in my eyes. At this moment Prudence came again. "Tell me, Prudence, do you know what he wants of me?" said Marguerite. "He asks your forgiveness." "Exactly." "Did you forgive me?" "Of course, but he has one more request." "any request?" "He's going to have supper with us." "Do you agree?" "What do you think?" "I think you two are both children and naive, but I'm very hungry now. If you make an agreement earlier, we can have supper earlier." "Come on," said Marguerite, "the three of us will go in my car." "Hi!" she said, turning to me, "Nanine is going to bed, and you have my keys." Go open the door, and be careful not to lose it again." I hugged Margaret so tightly that I nearly suffocated her. Then Joseph came in. "Sir," he said smugly, "the luggage is packed." "Is it all tied up?" "Yes, sir." "Then, open it, I'm not going."