Chapter 17 Chapter 15 (3)

ask "What have we done at this time? We have done the worst thing we can do, which is more contemptible than offending the messenger—we have betrayed Amalia, we have broken free from her silence , we couldn't go on living like this, we couldn't live without any hope, so we began to beg the castle's forgiveness in our own ways - with supplications or angry cries. Of course, we knew that we did, It doesn't help, and we also know that the only possible connection we have with the castle is through Soldini, who was Papa's boss and praised Papa, but because of this incident, it has been severed. , but we went all out. Dad was the first to do it, he started making pointless pleas to the mayor, secretaries, lawyers, and clerks, and he was often never received at all, but if because of something scheming, or by chance he got a chance to speak--how we used to hear such news, how we clapped our hands!--but he was always kicked out at once, and he was never allowed to go again. , the questions he asks are too easy to answer, the castle always prevails. What does he ask for? What has he been wronged? What does he ask for forgiveness? Had a finger come against him? Even if he had been poor, lost customers, and so on, these were everyday occurrences, as had happened to any shop or market; did the castle even care about such things? Of course, it cares about the public welfare, but it cannot meddle in what is normal for the sole purpose of serving one's own interests. Does he expect the Castle to send a team of officials to chase his customers back and force them to return to his Going there? But Papa didn't want to do that--before and after the interview, we'd always gossip about everything Papa had talked to them, and we'd sit in a corner, as if avoiding Amalia, who knew all about us. What are you doing, but just ignore us,- well, papa doesn't want to do that, he's not complaining about being poor, it's easy for him to recover what he lost, as long as he's forgiven, it doesn't matter The answer is: But what is there to pardon? No charges were ever brought against him, at least not in the town records, nor in those books where the lawyers could see them, so, it is conceivable, No charges had been brought against him, and no charges were being brought against him. Perhaps he might have meant some official order to reprimand him? Papa couldn't point to it. Well, since he knew nothing, and what It hadn't happened, so what did he ask for? What was there to forgive? It was an unforgivable crime for him to waste public time so vexatiously. Dad didn't stop, he was still very strong then, and because of the situation He has nothing to do, so he has plenty of time. I'm going to restore Amalia's reputation, and it won't take long now. He has to say several times to Barnabas and me every day.He said it again and again, but in a low voice so that Amalia could hear him, but he only said it for Amalia's sake, because in fact he didn't want her reputation to be restored, only forgiveness.But before he could ask for forgiveness he had to prove his guilt, which was denied by all institutions.He suddenly thought of another way--this shows that his brain is out of order--he thinks that his tax is not paid enough, which is why people refuse to tell him about his crime; The required taxes are paid, which are high enough for our economy.But now he thinks he has to pay more, which of course is a delusion, because our officials accept bribes to avoid trouble and discussion, but it will never get any effect like him.Even so, if Dad had pinned his hopes on this idea, we wouldn't want to break his hopes.We sold what we had left that could be sold--nearly everything we needed--and Papa took the money to go about, and for a long time every morning we knew that in the When he went out for a run, there were at least a few coins jingling in his pocket, and he felt a little relieved.Of course, we were pretty much starving all the time, and the only thing the money really did was that it kept Papa's hope and interest somewhat.But this is hardly a benefit.He was exhausted from running around like this day after day, and this little money could only drag him on like this day after day without achieving a quick and natural end.Because in fact no matter where you go, it is impossible for the clerks to help him because he paid extra money. They pretended to promise to keep him informed about this matter, implying that they already had some clues, and they were chasing them down. It's entirely their kindness to Dad, not their responsibility... Dad, he doesn't doubt it at all, and instead trusts others more and more.He used to bring home these apparently worthless promises as if they were colossal victories, standing behind Amalia with a forced smile, eyes wide open, pointing at Amalia and gesturing to us, Indicates that Amalia's salvation (no one will be more surprised than herself) will be nearer and nearer due to his efforts, but it is still a secret, and no one is allowed to reveal it. I feel really sad.Things would surely have gone on like this for a long time if we hadn't come to a point where we had no more money to pay him at last, when, after our numerous entreaties, Brunswick finally accepted Barnabas. I became his helper on the condition that I would pick up the work in the evening and send it back that night-it should be admitted that Brunswick took a risk in business by doing this for us, but in exchange Well, he paid Barnabas almost nothing, and Barnabas was a model craftsman! --but his salary is just enough to keep us from starving.When the shock had abated, we told Papa slowly that we had no more money to give him, but he was very calm about it.He could no longer understand how little he had hoped for a mediation, and he was worn out by constant disappointment.He said, indeed—he didn't speak as clearly as he used to, but usually he speaks very clearly—just give him a little more money, because tomorrow, or that very day, he could have done everything. The whole thing came to light, but now it's all gone, because there is no money, everything is over, etc., but from the tone of his voice, he doesn't believe what he says at all.In addition, he immediately proposed a new plan of his own accord.Since he could not prove his guilt, and therefore could not expect anything from official means, he had to resort to appeals, and he wanted to impress the goodwill of the officials himself.There must be some sympathetic people among the officials. Although they cannot act with sympathy when exercising their powers, they will definitely be tempted if you find them in their spare time. "

K., who had been listening intently, interrupted Olga at this point, asking: "Do you think he is right?" Although Olga continued, his question would naturally be answered, But he was anxious to know right away. "No," said Olga, "there is no such thing as sympathy or non-sympathy. Young and ignorant people like us know it, and papa knows it too, but he forgets everything like him. Forgot all about it. It occurred to him to stand on the road near the castle, and wait for the officials to pass by in their carriages, and seize the opportunity to beg their pardon. To tell the truth, even if such The impossible happened, and his plea was heard by an official, which is just a crazy and stupid idea. Because how can a single official order a pardon? At best, only the government can exercise this power , and it is obvious that even the government generally can only convict and not pardon. In any case, even if an official stepped out of the carriage and was willing to accept the matter, after hearing a poor and tired man like Papa The old man's vague words, how can he understand the matter clearly? The officials are all highly educated, but also one-sided; an official in his own department can grasp the full meaning just by listening to a sentence , but tell him something about another department, explain it to him hour after hour, he can nod his head politely, but in fact he doesn't understand a word. This is quite natural, even if It's the little business of the common man--a little thing an official can handle with a shrug of his shoulders--and if you want to know one of them thoroughly, you'll get nothing from spending your life on it As a result, even if Papa happens to meet a responsible official, he doesn't have the necessary papers, what can he do with the matter, and he can never do it on the highway; It has already been a complete failure for Dad to deal with the relevant departments. Dad thought of what an embarrassing situation he would be in if he insisted on such an idea! If there is even a glimmer of hope for success in such an approach, Then the road would be full of pleaders; but since even a three-year-old knew that was impossible, there would be no one on the road. But maybe even that supported Papa He could find something to support his hope anywhere. He desperately needed something to support his hope, which would never occur to a man in his right mind. From the superficial indications, it was impossible. Officials did not come to the country or to the castle for fun, but because they had something to do in the village or at the castle, so they came and went. Hurry. Looking out of the car window to look for petitioners, it probably doesn't matter to them, because the car is full of documents, and they have to review the documents on the way."

"But," said K., "I saw in an official's sleigh that there were no papers in the compartment." Olga's story opened up to him such a vast and almost unbelievable world that He couldn't help but want to connect his own little experiences with it, also to convince himself that the story was as real as his own. "It is possible," said Olga, "but in that case it would be even more unfavorable, for it shows how important the official's business is, and his papers are so precious and plentiful, so You can't take it with you, the officials must be on the go. No one can spare time to see Papa under any circumstances. Besides, there are several roads to the castle. Sometimes everyone used to take this road. Many horse-drawn carriages pass here, and then they like to take another one, and all kinds of vehicles are rushing back and forth there. People never know how to grasp the changing law of the route. At eight o'clock in the morning, The vehicles may all be on another road, ten minutes later they may turn to a third road, half an hour later they may return to the first road, and they may continue to go this way all day after that, but every time It could change in a minute. Of course, these roads meet at the edge of the village, when all the vehicles are chasing each other like crazy, and when they are approaching the castle, the speed is not so fast. Vehicles The number of traffic is also different, and the disparity in the number is as incomprehensible as the choice of road. Often a carriage cannot be seen for several days, and it is often crowded on other days. Now please think again in light of these circumstances Daddy. He wore his best suit, which soon became his only suit, and he left the house every morning with our best wishes. He carried his little Fire Society badge with him (In fact, he is no longer qualified to wear this badge), and he pinned it on his jacket as soon as he walked out of the village, because he was afraid of being seen in the village. Although the badge was so small that it could hardly be seen two steps away, Dad insisted I think it is this badge that attracts the attention of passing officials. Not far from the entrance of the castle, there is a vegetable garden market. The owner is named Portuch. Portuch didn't object, because he had always had a good relationship with Papa and was one of Papa's most loyal customers—you know, he had a broken foot, and he thought only the boots Papa made would suit him The lame leg. Well, papa just sat there day after day, and it was a wet autumn day with a lot of storms, but he didn't care whether the weather was good or bad. Every morning when the time came, he put his hand on the door He tied it up, waved goodbye to us, and came back home dripping in the evening, his back seemed to be more bent every day, and he collapsed in a corner of the room as soon as he got home. At the beginning, he often told us that he was Little incidents of the day, how Portuch, out of sympathy and old friendship, threw him a blanket over the fence, or how he recognized this and that official from a carriage, Or this and that coachman recognized him again, and jokingly gave him a light whip with his horse-whip. But then he told us no more of these things, evidently giving up hope of getting anything there, He just sees it as his duty, a dullI was there on an errand to spend the whole day there.That's when his rheumatic pains started, and winter came, and the snow fell early, and winter started early here; well, he just sat there, sometimes on the wet stones, sometimes on the snow inside.At night he groaned in pain, and in the morning, many times he could not make up his mind whether to go or not, but he finally overcame his boredom and went out.His mother guarded him and refused to let him go, and he was obviously worried that his hands and feet would not work, so he promised her to go with him. In this way, his mother also suffered from rheumatism.We used to run to them, to bring them food, or just to see them, or to persuade them to go home; we often saw them huddled together, clinging to each other in their tiny seats, on a thin huddled under a blanket and half-covered, and surrounded by nothing but a gray cloud of snow and mist, sometimes for days at a time neither a human being nor a carriage could be seen far or near; such was the sight, What a sight to see, K.Until one morning, papa couldn't get out of bed with his stiff legs, and none of us could comfort him. He had a vague feeling that at this moment, he saw an official near Portuch's house. He stopped the carriage, looked for him everywhere along the fence, then shook his head, and climbed into the carriage angrily.At this scene Papa screamed aloud, as if to make his voice heard at a distance by the officer, and to explain to the officer his absence as a matter of necessity.Since then, he has been absent for a long time, never returned there, and did not get up for several weeks.Amalia then took care of the feeding, nursing, and healing, and did whatever he needed, and, with occasional interruptions, she has done to this day.She knew how to gather herbs to relieve his pain, she could hardly sleep, she was never panicked, never frightened or irritable, she would do anything for the two old men; no matter what happened, When we were at our wit's end and were in a state of unease and anxiety, she remained calm and composed.When the worst of the situation was over and Papa was able to struggle cautiously out of bed again with our support, Amalia retreated into the background again and left him in our care. "

Olga's plan "In this way, it is necessary to find a job for Dad that he can still do. At least let him believe that he is doing the job of helping the family to clean up their crimes. Such a job is not difficult to find. In fact, Nothing could be more useless than sitting in Portuch's garden, but I've found one that really gives me a little hope. Every time officials, clerks, or anyone else talk When it comes to our crimes, they always only mention that we insulted Soldini's messenger, and no one dares to say anything else. So, I thought to myself, since public opinion (though only superficially) only If you think you insulted the messenger, then, although this is still a superficial reason, as long as someone apologizes to the messenger, everything will be settled. We were told that no complaint was actually made against us, so we also No department has yet entertained the matter, so as far as the courier is concerned personally - if there is no other question - he is entitled to pardon Amalia's insult to him. Of course, all this, it is impossible The decisive role is nothing more than a form, and nothing can be changed except the form, but Dad will be happy because of it, and it can prevent the group of officials from torturing him, so we are satisfied. First of all, naturally To find the messenger. When I told my father about my plan, he was very angry at first. To be honest, he has become very stubborn. One reason is that he insisted that this happened when he was sick. Yes,--we dragged him down, and the result fell short, first we didn't give him money, then forced him to lie in bed; another reason was that he couldn't understand any new ideas at all. I Before he finished his plan, he overturned it. He insisted that his work should continue to wait in the garden of Portuch, and he couldn't go there every day because of his current situation, so he asked us to use two wheels. The wheelbarrow pushed him. But I did not budge, and he gradually accepted my proposition, the only thing that troubled him was that he had to rely entirely on me for this, because I was the only one who had seen the messenger, and He didn't know him. Actually all the messengers look alike to each other, and I'm not sure if I can recognize the one. We'll go up to the Herrenhof right away and look for the messenger among the valets. The messenger is of course It was Soldini who waited, and Soldini no longer came to the village, but these gentlemen change their servants from time to time, and you may easily find what we are looking for among the servants of another gentleman The man, even if you can't find him in person, you might be able to get some information about him from the other squires. Of course, this would require spending every night at the Herrenhof Hotel, but anywhere, People don't like to see us much, let alone a place like the Herrenhof Hotel; For Frieda, these servants were a group ofWhat a tormentor, most of them aren't really yellers, but they're pampered and lazy because there's so little work--hope you're as happy as a squire, it's It is the favorite sentence of the officials when toasting,--Indeed, from the perspective of living a leisurely life, the servants seem to be the real masters in the castle, and they also know their own dignity. In the castle, their every move must be It's in accordance with the rules and regulations, so they're serious and serious, I've been told this several times, and even you can see dim signs of it among the squires in the village, only small signs. Now, since the rules and regulations of the castle do not fully restrain their actions in the village, they are often unscrupulous, and become very different from when they were in the castle; Acting, but doing whatever you want.Your disgraceful behavior is simply lawless, and the village is lucky because they are not allowed to leave Herrenhof without permission, but in the Herrenhof Hotel, you have to deal with them more or less; Lida felt that dealing with them was exhausting, so she was more than happy to ask me to comfort the attendants.For more than two years I spent at least two evenings a week with these attendants in the stable.At first Baba was able to go up to the Herrenhof Hotel with me, where he slept in the bar and waited for my news in the morning.But there was not much news for him.To this day, we have not found the messenger. He must still be with Soldini. Soldini valued him very much. Tiny went with him.Many of the squires had not seen him since we last saw him, and one or two who said they had seen him might be mistaken.So my plan might actually have blown, but not quite; we didn't find the messenger, it's true, we went to the Herrenhof Hotel and spent the night there--perhaps Papa's pity for me, He could have been sympathetic then--and unfortunately ruined papa, he's been in the state you see now for two years, but he's probably better off than mama, because we watch every day I was worried about her, afraid that she was going to die; it was only thanks to Amalia who took care of her with extraordinary skills that she was delayed until today.But because of what I did at the Herrenhof, I ended up having some kind of connection with the Castle after all; don't look down on me when I say I don't regret what I've done.No doubt, you must think, how can this be a connection with the castle; you are right, it is not really a connection, of course, I know most of the attendants now, and I have been in the village for the past two years I know almost all the gentlemen's squires from here, so that if I can get into the castle, I won't be a stranger there.Of course, they are only squires when they are in the village, and they are completely different when they come to the castle. They may not know me there, and they will not know anyone who has dealt with them in the village. That is true, even if they had sworn a hundred times in the stable that they would be very glad to see me again in the castle, that would be the same.Besides, I have had experience of how valuable such promises are.But this is not the really important question.It is not my only hope to establish a connection with the castle through the servants. Besides this, I also hope and believe that someone in the castle will pay attention to what I am doing now-to take care of the servants is an extremely important and hard work. The task,--whoever sees what I do may end up with a better impression of me than anyone else, and he may see that, though I do so lowly, I am doing it for my family Struggle is to continue to realize my father's unfulfilled long-cherished wish.If he sees it that way, perhaps he will forgive me for accepting the servants' money to support our family.I have also achieved other results, for which I am afraid even you will blame me.I learned from my squires many ways to get a castle job without going through the difficult, sometimes years-long, officially prescribed preparation phase; indeed, in this case you are not an official employe, but a private one. A semi-official employee, you have neither rights nor obligations--at worst you have no obligations--but you have the advantage of being on the scene, you can watch for favorable opportunities, and you can take advantage of them , even though you are not an employee, if you are lucky, you will find a job, maybe the official employee is not around at that time, so when someone comes, you run up, and you become the kind of person you were not a minute ago , becomes an employee.But when exactly does one have such an opportunity?Sometimes you can encounter it right away. You have just arrived there, and before you have time to see the situation clearly, the opportunity is waiting for you there. It’s just that many people are new here, and they are even absent-minded, so they fail to grasp such opportunities. It's just an opportunity; but in another situation, you may wait longer than the official employee, and after a long time as a semi-official employee, you will no longer be a legal full-time employee.So that's enough to put you off, but when you consider that there is a very strict examination for official appointments, and that anyone from a dubious family background will be eliminated without examination, then it's not a big deal; Let's talk about the last man who took the exam, who waited for the result in fear for several years, and from the first day, everyone asked him in amazement how he dared to do such a whimsical thing, but he continued to hope And—how could he live otherwise? --After how many years have passed like this, maybe as an old man with white hair, he knows that he has been rejected, that everything has been lost, and that his life has been wasted in vain.Here, of course, there are exceptions, and it is because of this that people are easily tempted.It sometimes happens that some really dubious fellows do get appointments, and some officials are simply smitten by the scoundrels; Xi Wen, smacking his lips and opening his eyes wide open, desperately looking for such new recruits. For them, it seems that this kind of person is especially suitable for their appetite. They have to strictly abide by the rules and regulations written in their books. Can resist the temptation of this kind of person.But sometimes the person who takes the exam does not get an appointment, but just delays the preparations indefinitely, endlessly, until the wretch dies.Official appointments, therefore, like this other course, are fraught with all sorts of difficulties, both open and hidden, and one should, therefore, think carefully before engaging in such matters.This time, Barnabas and I did not forget to do so.Whenever I came home from the Herrenhof, we would sit down together and I would tell him the latest news I had gathered. We talked for days, and Barnabas' work was delayed by more than The usual time required.From your point of view, perhaps I should be blamed.I am fully aware that the words of the squires cannot be trusted.I also know that they are not very willing to tell me about the castle, they are always changing the subject, you have to force every word out of their mouths, but when they start to talk, it is often nonsense and nonsense Gossip, boasting, everyone invented absurd lies to overwhelm the other, so amidst the constant shouting in the dark stable, one servant did not finish, another cut in, chattering, it is obvious that from Among them, at most, you can only find the truth of the truth.I recounted to Barnabas everything I had heard, although he had not yet the ability to tell the truth from the false, but for the sake of the family situation, he almost hungrily wanted to hear these things, and he put it all in one breath Swallow it, and long to hear some more.In fact, Barnabas was a supporter of my new plan.Nothing more to come out of the squires.Sortini's courier was not to be found, and never would be, and Sortini and his courier seemed to be receding farther and farther away, and many had forgotten what they looked like and what their name was, I was therefore often obliged to describe their faces in detail, but in spite of that, the most I could get was that the squire to whom I spoke remembered them with difficulty; I don't know anything.As for my behavior of making friends with servants, I naturally have no right to decide what people should think. I only hope that the castle can judge according to my motives for making friends with them, and I only hope that the crimes committed by my family can be slightly mitigated. subject to any such public representations.But I'm sticking with it, because as far as I'm concerned, I don't see any other chance that the castle can solve anything for us.But for Barnabas, I saw another possibility.From the stories the servants told me--if I have the inclination, it is all in my head--I have come to the conclusion that whoever can serve in the castle, he can Do many things for his family.But in those stories, which one is worth believing?The stories are unverifiable and rarely clear.For, for example, as a squire--a squire I shall never see again, or if I did, I would never know him--he once solemnly promised to find a place for my brother in the castle , or, if Barnabas had other business to go to the castle, he would at least support him or assist him--for according to the stories told by the squires, the waiting staff became useless because they waited so long. Mental or nervous disorders, and if their friends don't take care of them, they are ruined-such things and many other things like this are what they told me. These may be warnings to us, but they are warning at the same time Most of the promises made are empty words.But Barnabas thought otherwise; indeed, I warned him not to believe it, but what I told him was enough to make him support my plan.The reasons I gave myself did not impress him very much, but mainly the stories told by the attendants.So in fact it was my own fault.Amalia is the only person who can make my parents understand. The more I try to use my own method to continue my father's original plan, the more Amalia ignores me. In front of you or other people, she even said a few words to me , but she did not speak to me when the two of us were alone; and at the Herrenhof I was the plaything of the servants, and during those two years I did not speak to any of them. People say a word, and all I ever hear out of their mouths is cunning or deceitful or stupid, so there was only Barnabas with me, and Barnabas was too young then.When I told him those things, I saw a light in his eyes, and it has remained that light in his eyes since then, and I got scared, but I didn't stop, because it was a big deal , no small matter.I admit, I don't have grand but empty plans like my dad.I don't have the determination of a man either.I confine myself only to making up for the insult we have done to that messenger, and I simply ask that my present humble effort be counted as my credit.But what I have not been able to do myself, I am now determined to do it in a different way, through Barnabas.We insulted a courier, and drove him to a more remote institution; then, we send Barnabas to be a new courier, who can do the original courier's work, and let the courier be quiet Could anything be more natural than to retire quietly for as long as it took him to forget the insult he had suffered?Of course, I am deeply aware that, however humble my plans may be, there is a tinge of arrogance in them, and it may give the impression that we want to tell the authorities how to deal with their personal problems, or that we Doubts arose about the ability of the authorities to properly deal with this issue, which was overdue before we even thought about what to do about it.可是，当时我又想，当局不可能对我产生这么大的误会，如果他们真是这样的话，那就是他们有意要这样，换句话说，我所做的一切，他们不作进一步调查，就把它们都推翻了。所以，我决不屈服，巴纳巴斯野心勃勃，也不愿屈服。巴纳巴斯在这一段准备期间变得那么高傲，居然觉得补鞋这个活儿，对他这么一个未来的机关雇员来说，未免太下践了，是的，他甚至跟阿玛丽亚也敢顶嘴了，有一两次阿玛丽亚就直截了当地跟他谈起这一点。我并不妒忌他的短暂的欢乐，因为他一到城堡，他的欢乐和高傲就会消失，这是不难预料的。这样他就开始了那种滑稽模仿似的工作，我在前面已经告诉过你了。使人惊奇的是，巴纳巴斯第一次并没有经过多大困难就进了城堡，或者更正确地说，进了机关，也可以说，这个机关就变成了他的工作室。那天晚上巴纳巴斯回家后把消息悄悄地告诉了我，他得到这样的成功，当时几乎把我乐疯啦。我跑到阿玛丽亚跟前，一把抓住了她，把她拉到一个角落里，死劲儿吻她，吻得她又疼又怕，禁不住叫了出来。我说不出我激动的道理来，我们好久没有互相交谈了，这件事我也是在第二天或者第三天才告诉她。可是以后几天，就实在没有什么再可以告诉她的了。第一次马到成功以后，就再也没有什么动静了。在这漫长的两年里，巴纳巴斯就过着这种辛酸的日子。那些侍从使我们完全失望，我给巴纳巴斯写了一张小字条叫他带在身边，把他介绍给那些侍从，请他们照应他，同时提醒他们过去亲口许下的那些诺言，巴纳巴斯往往看到一个侍从就拿出这张字条，举在手里，尽管看到字条的人，有的不认识我，有的认识我，可是都给他那种一声不响就把字条递过去的样子惹恼了--因为他在城堡里不敢说话，--可是没有一个人帮助他，终究是一件丢人的事，幸而后来有一个侍从，因为不止一次地给这张字条缠得厌烦透了，就把它一把扯碎扔进了字纸篓……这倒是一种解脱，我得承认，我们早该这么干，自己获得解脱--我想，他似乎还在说：你们自己对待信件也是这样。尽管这回在其他方面毫无收获，但在巴纳巴斯身上却起了良好的作用，如果可以说是一件好事的话，那就是他已经过早地成熟了，已经成了一个少年老成，是的，在好些方面，他甚至比许多大人还要老成持重，明白事理。我望着他，拿他两年前还是一个孩子的模样，跟他现在的样子比，心里常常感到难过。按理说，作为一个成人，他无疑是能够给我支持和慰藉的，可我仍然既没有支持，也得不到慰藉。他没有我就进不了城堡，可是自从他进了城堡以后，他就不需要再依靠我了。我虽然是他惟一的知心朋友，但我可以肯定说，他心里的话只告诉了我一小部分。他告诉我一大堆城堡里的事，可是从他那些故事里，从他谈的详情细节里，你一点也不能理解为什么那些事居然能把他变成这副样子。我特别闹不懂的是，他原先是一个大胆的孩子--我们曾经还为此感到不安，--现在成了大人，进了城堡，怎么就变得胆小怕事了呢。当然，那样毫无益处地整天站在那儿等待着，一天又一天，没完没了的，看不到一丝儿改变的前景，这准定把一个男人的志气磨灭了，对自己失去了信心，最后真的什么事都干不了，只会毫无希望地站在那儿。可是为什么他在开头不进行斗争呢，尤其是，既然他不久就看出了我是对的，那儿也许有那么一点点可能改善我们家庭情况的希望，但是根本没有实现他的雄心壮志的机会。因为在城堡里，尽管侍从们是那么任性，事情却都是按部就班地进行着，雄心壮志只能在工作中寻求满足，而由于在这样的情况下工作本身改进了，雄心大志就没有任何存在的余地了。幼稚的欲望，在城堡里是没有容身之地的。虽然如此，巴纳巴斯还是这样认为，他这样告诉我，他说他看得很清楚，那些官员，即使是准许他进去的那个机关里的一些可疑的官员，都是大权在握而且博学多闻。他们口授指示的时候说得多么快啊，半闭着眼睛，做着简单的手势，只消竖起一根手指，就能使那些倔强的侍从屈服，侍从们即使受到他们的申斥，也都是笑眯眯的；或者他们在一本书里发现了一段重要的章节，便会看得出神，尽管地方狭窄，这时其他一些官员也都会伸长了脖子紧紧地围着他一起看。这些事情和其他同样性质的事，使得巴纳巴斯把这些人看成是了不起的人物，他有这样的感觉，假使他能接近他们，引起他们的注意，他就可以壮着胆子跟他们交谈几句，不是以一个陌生人的身分，而是以一个本部门的同僚的身分交谈--自然是一个职位非常低的同僚，--那么，可能给我们家庭带来无法估计的收获。可是事情从来没有达到这样的地步，巴纳巴斯也不敢冒险做任何可能有助于达到这样地步的事情，虽然他完全知道自己尽管是那么年轻，由于发生了这一连串不幸的事故，他已经被推到负责赡养我们一家这样一个艰难而又责任重大的主要人物的地位上了。现在我该作最后的坦白了：这是你来到我们村子一个星期以后的事。我在赫伦霍夫旅馆听到有人提起这回事，可是我并没有怎么注意，有一个土地测量员来了，我连土地测量员是干什么的也不知道。可是第二天傍晚--我平常总是在我们约定的时间跑到半路上去接巴纳巴斯回家的，--巴纳巴斯回家比平常早，他看见阿玛丽亚在起居间里，便把我拉到街上，他把头搁在我的肩上，大声叫嚷了好几分钟。他又变成往常那副小孩子的样子了。他碰上了一件从来没有预料到的事情。好像突然之间在他的面前展开了一个崭新的世界，他简直受不住这种崭新的变化给他带来的喜悦和激动。可是发生的事情，不过是他们给了他一封送给你的信罢了。可是这确实是他们委托他传送的第一封信，也是他第一次接受到的任务。 "

奥尔珈说到这里停止了。屋子里一片寂静，只有老人们不时发出的沉重而困难的呼吸声。 Ｋ只是漫不经心地仿佛要补足奥尔珈的故事似地说："你们都是在捉弄我。巴纳巴斯送那封信给我的神气，完全是一个繁忙的老信使，你跟阿玛丽亚--那时候她准是跟你一起在家里呆着的吧--的表情呢，也好像都认为传递书信和消息是稀松平常的事情。""你必须分清楚我们之间的差别，"奥尔珈说。 "巴纳巴斯的确由于那封信又变成了一个快活的孩子，尽管他自己也怀疑他到底有没有这种能耐。他的这些怀疑也只有他自己和我才知道，可是他又觉得，如果能打扮成一个他想像中的真正的信使，那也不失为一种光荣。所以，尽管这时他痴心妄想，居然想要有一套官方的制服，我还是得在两个钟头之内赶着给他改制一条裤子，至少有点儿像制服那样的紧身裤，好让他穿着在你的面前出现，当然，我们知道，在你面前蒙混过去是很容易的。我谈巴纳巴斯已经谈得够多啦。阿玛丽亚可真的瞧不起他这种信使的工作，现在他似乎有了一点儿成绩--她从巴纳巴斯、我和我们悄声低语的谈话中很容易就猜到了这一点，--她比以前更瞧不起这种工作了。所以，她刚才说的是真话，这你可不要自欺欺人。至于我，Ｋ，要是我说我似乎也曾小看过巴纳巴斯的工作，那倒并没有任何欺骗你的意思，而是出于我的忧虑。巴纳巴斯经手的这两封信，虽说令人可疑，毕竟是我家三年来第一次受到恩宠的标志。这一个变化，假使这是一个变化，而不是个骗局的话--骗局比变化更常见，--那么这跟你来到这儿是分不开的，在某种意义上来说，我们的命运要依靠你来决定了，也许这两封信还不过是一个开端，巴纳巴斯的才干不仅限于传送这两封与你有关的信，还可能发挥在其他方面--我们必须这样希望，能坚持多久就多久，--可是眼前，一切都集中在你身上。现在，在城堡里，不论那儿发生什么事，我们只能平心静气地听天由命，可是在这村子里，我们也许还能做一点事情，那就是，一定要博得你的好感，至少不让你厌恶我们，或者，更重要的一点，就是用我们全部力量和经验来保护你，使你跟城堡的关系不至于中断--也许这也是帮助我们自己。现在，要达到这个目的，最好的办法是什么呢？那就是在我们接近你的时候，要消除你对我们的任何怀疑--因为在这儿你是外乡人，这样就难免满腹疑虑，这样满腹的疑虑也是有道理的。何况，人人都瞧不起我们，你也就一定会受到舆论的影响，特别是通过你的未婚妻，所以，在我们毛遂自荐的时候，即使完全出于无心，又怎么能不使我们与你的未婚妻处于对立的地位，这样也就冒犯了你呢？至于说那两封信，在你收到以前我都看过--巴纳巴斯没有看，作为一个信使，他是不能让自己看信的，--乍看起来，似乎都已经失去了时效，没有多大意义，可是就他们把你托付给村长这一点而论，那又是具有极端重要的意义的。那么，在这样一些情况下，我们该怎样对待你呢？要是我们强调这些信件的重要性，人们就会怀疑我们夸大了显然是毫无价值的东西，而要是我们以自己是传递这些信件的工具而夸耀，人们也会怀疑我们这样做是追求自己的目的，而不是为了你；再说，我们这样做，也可能会使你轻视这些信件本身的价值，而变得灰心失望，这又违背了我们的本意。可是如果我们不强调这些信件的重要性，我们也同样会使自己受到人们的怀疑，因为人们会问，既然这样，那为什么我们又要找这份麻烦来传送这种无关紧要的信件呢？为什么在我们的言行之间有这样明显的矛盾呢？为什么我们要教收信人失望，而且还要教发信人也失望呢？因为他把信件交给我们，并不是为了要我们向收信人解释这封信是无关紧要的啊。那么，采取折衷的态度吧，既不强调它的重要性，也不贬低它的价值，换句话说，正确估计那些信件的价值，然而这也是不可能的，因为它们的价值在不断变化，它们引起的反应，也是无穷无尽的，而偶然的机遇又往往决定一个人的反应，所以连我们对这些信件的估价也是一种偶然性的东西。当在这一切之上，又加上你的焦虑不安时，什么事情就都搞糊涂了，所以，你对我所说的任何事情都不必过于认真。比如说，曾经发生过这样的事情，有一回巴纳巴斯回家带来消息，说你对他的工作不满意，起初他痛苦极了--我应该承认，这也损伤了他对自己职业的虚荣心，--决定干脆辞职了事，当时为了弥补这个错误，我确实愿意欺骗、说谎、出卖别人，什么都干，不管那是多么坏的事，只要有用处我都干。不过，当时即使我这样做了，也不仅是为我们自己，同样也是为了你，至少我是这样想的。 "

There is a knock on the door.奥尔珈跑去开了门。一道光从一盏黑魆魆的灯笼里射到门槛里。那位深夜来访的客人低声问着，奥尔珈也同样低声回答着，但是来客还不满意，想闯进屋来。奥尔珈发现自己再也没法挡住他了，便喊阿玛丽亚，显然是希望阿玛丽亚能用什么办法阻止这位不速之客闯进来，以免惊动老人们的安睡。阿玛丽亚果然立刻赶过去，推开了奥尔枷，走到大街上，随手把门关上了。她只在门外呆了一会儿，几乎马上就回来了，奥尔珈办不到的事情，她很快就办妥了。 接着，Ｋ从奥尔珈那儿知道，那个不速之客就是来找他的。是他的一个助手受了弗丽达的吩咐来找他的。奥尔珈不想让助手看见Ｋ在这儿；假使事后他愿意把这次上她们家来串门的事儿告诉弗丽达，他可以这么做，但决不能通过这个助手发现这件事儿；这一点Ｋ同意了。可是奥尔珈还请他在这儿过夜，等巴纳巴斯回来，他却拒绝了，就他本人来说，他本来也许是可以接受这个邀请的，因为夜已经很深了，而且时到如今，不管他愿意不愿意，他似乎已经跟这家人连在一起了，这儿有供他过夜的一榻之地，虽然有不少原因使他感到苦恼，可是考虑到这种共同的结合关系，这儿终究是这个村子里最适合他住的地方；但他还是拒绝了，助手的来访使他惊慌起来，他感到不可理解的是，弗而达既然完全知道他的愿望，助手们也懂得应该惧怕他了，怎么会又这样搞在一起，以致她毫无顾忌地派了一个助手来找他，而且只派一个，这时那另一个助手可能还在陪伴着她呢。他问奥尔珈有没有鞭子，她没有鞭子，可是有一根很好的藤条，他拿了过来；接着他又问这所屋子是否还有别的出口，穿过院子原来还有一个门，不过得翻过隔壁花园的墙头，才能走上街道。Ｋ决定走这条路。在奥尔珈领着他穿过院子的时候，Ｋ匆忙地劝她不用害怕，还告诉她说他一点儿也不见怪她讲给他听的那些小花招，他完全理解她耍的那些花招，感谢她这样推心置腹地把这段故事讲给他听，而且嘱咐她等巴纳巴斯一回家，就马上叫他到学校去，哪怕是在夜里也得叫他去。当然，巴纳巴斯带给他的那些信件并不是他惟一的希望，要是那样的话，事情可就真的对他不利啦，可是他也决不把那些信件看得无足轻重，他会重视它们，也不会忘记奥尔珈，因为在他看来，比那些信件本身更重要的是奥尔珈，是她的勇敢和持重，假使他必须在奥尔珈和阿玛丽亚之间进行选择的话，那他是用不着花多少时间考虑，就能作出抉择来的。在跳上隔壁花园的墙头时，他又一次诚挚地握了握她的手。