Chapter 16 Chapter 15 (2)

Amalia's Secret "Let you judge for yourself," said Olga, "I warn you that the matter sounds so simple that one cannot immediately understand why it is of such importance. There was a man named Soltini in the castle. "I've heard his name already," said K., "and he has something to do with me coming here." "I don't think so," said Olga, "Soldini rarely Show up. Did you mishear him for Sortini, and mistook the mention for the tip?" "You're right," said K., "that's Sortini." "Yes Well," said Olga, "Sortini is famous, he is one of the most industrious clerks, and people talk about him; but Sortini was not very sociable, and most people don't know about him. He is such a person. The first and last time I saw him was more than three years ago. It was at the Fire Fighting Third of July celebration, which Castle participated in and gave a A new fire engine. Soldini is said to be responsible for the leadership of the Fire Society, maybe he is acting for someone else--officials cover each other up like this, so it is difficult to know which official is really responsible,- - Soldini participated in the presenting ceremony of the fire engine. Naturally, many people from the castle attended, including officials and attendants. Soldini maintained his usual style and hid himself behind the scenes He was a little, old, brooding gentleman, and anyone who saw him would have noticed that kind of wrinkle on his brow; the scallops that covered it—though he was certainly not forty years old, There are a lot of wrinkles - all the way to the base of his nose. I've never seen anyone like him. We also participated in the celebration. Amalia and I have been excited for this celebration. It’s been a week, and we’ve prepared our festive clothes for this grand event, some of which are newly made. Amalia’s dress is even more beautiful, a snow-white blouse with foamy lace on the chest Well, mother used up all her lace for this smock. I was so jealous that I cried all night on the eve of the celebration. Only when the lady at the Bridgehead Inn came to see us the next morning When—""The proprietress of the Bridgehead Inn?" asked K. "Yes," said Olga, "she's a close friend of ours, well, here she is, and she couldn't help admitting that Amalia was prettier than I was, so she comforted me by promising to put her own bouffant Shemia lent me the ruby ​​necklace. When we were about to leave, Amalia stood beside me, and we all praised her, and Papa said: Listen to me, today Amalia will find a husband. So I somehow took off my greatest pride, my necklace, and put it on Amalia's neck, and I was no longer jealous. I bowed down before her victory, and I felt that everyone else must bow down too In front of her. Perhaps to our great surprise, her demeanor was very different from usual, for she was not very beautiful in person, but her melancholy eyes (which had been since that day) were Looking down on us, you can't help but worship her. Everyone noticed it, even when Raisman and his wife came to show us." "Raisman? " asked K. "Yes, Raisman," said Olga, "we have always been respected, and if we don't go, the celebration will not start smoothly, because my father is the third in command of the firefighting society." Is your father still so active?" asked K. "Are you talking about my father?" Orr asked now, as if he didn't fully understand what he meant. "Three years ago he was quite a young man, for example, when the Herrenhof Hotel caught fire, and he ran out of the house with an official on his back, the official's name was Glatter, He was a tall man. I was there at the time, and there was really no danger, but a dry wood near the fire began to smoke, and Glatter shouted out the window for help, and the fire brigade rushed to him. , although the fire has long been extinguished, but Dad still carried him out. Because Glatter found that he could not move, of course it is better to be careful under such circumstances. I only tell you this because you mentioned Dad story; it has been less than three years since then, but look what he looks like now." Only then did K. realize that Amalia had returned to the room, but she was far away, in the presence of her parents. Sitting at the table, my mother suffered from rheumatism and could not move her arms. While feeding her mother, she advised her father to wait patiently, as it would be his turn soon.But her advice had no effect, because her father was greedy for the soup, and regardless of his weakness, he wanted to drink it himself. He first scooped it with a spoon, and then he even wanted to drink it from a bowl, but he couldn't drink it. He muttered in anger; before his lips touched the spoon, the soup in the spoon was long gone, and his mouth could not drink the soup in the bowl, because Della's beard had already been soaked in the soup, and the soup was sprinkled. There is soup everywhere, but it doesn't reach the mouth. "Did he become like this in three years?" asked K., but he could not feel any sympathy for the two old men, and the whole corner, including the table, could only be seen. disgust him. "Three years," Olga replied slowly, "or rather, it became like this in a few hours at the celebration. The celebration was in a meadow near the brook in the village. When we arrived, there was already a sea of ​​people, many people came from the neighboring villages, and the noise made people panic. Of course, Dad first took us to see the fire engine. He laughed happily, this new fire engine made him feel very happy, and immediately began to inspect it and explain it to us. He couldn't hear a word of objection or doubt, and he insisted on pointing out to us as soon as he came across something. When it was not possible, we kept bending over and lying under the car to watch, and Barnabas didn't want to look, so he slapped him. Only Amalia ignored the firetruck, she was wearing a beautiful suit Standing upright beside the fire engine in her clothes, no one dared to say a word to her. Sometimes I ran to her side and pulled her arm, but she didn’t make a sound. We stood in front of the fire engine for so long, Sortini was not noticed, for reasons I can't explain to this day, until Papa turned his back on him, and it was obvious that he had been leaning against a dog behind the firetruck. Wheels. Of course, there was a terrible noise all around us, and it wasn't just the usual noise, for the castle sent a few trumpets to the firefighting society in addition to the fire engines. A musical instrument, you only have to blow it a little--even a child can play it--and it will make a loud rattling sound; this trumpet will remind you that the Turks must have come, such You are not used to the sound of the trumpet, and you will jump up in fright when you hear it. But because the horn is new, everyone wants to try it, and because it is a celebration, anyone can play it. How many There's a trumpeter right next to our ears, maybe Amalia brought them in. It's hard to keep our minds sharp in these conditions, plus we have to listen to daddy and give our utmost attention On that fire truck, so we didn't realize he was there for so long, and we didn't know who he was." It was Soldini, and it was Raisman who finally whispered to my dad— -I was next to Dad,--Dad was so excited, he bowed deeply to him, and waved to teach us to bow too.Papa had always admired this Soldini whom he had never seen before, regarded him as an authority on firefighting affairs, talked about him often at home, so now we can see Soldini with our own eyes, yes For us, it was a very shocking and very important event.But Soldini ignored us, and he wasn't the only one, because officials don't greet people in public, and he was already tired, and he had to stay there only because of business. .Those who feel that such tasks are particularly strenuous are not the worst officials, and some officials and attendants simply mix with the common people.Only he stayed by the fire engine without saying a word, scaring away anyone who was going to come over and ask him for something or a compliment.Therefore, he only noticed us after we noticed him for a long time.And it was only after we had bowed respectfully to him, and Papa had apologized to him for us, that he looked in our direction, eyeing us one by one with a weary air, as if trying to discover that he was getting one after another. They looked on one by one, moaning, until at last his eyes fell on Amalia, and he had to lift his head to see Amalia, for she was much taller than he was.He was startled when he saw her, and then jumped over the shaft to get close to her. At first we misunderstood him, and Dad led us forward, but he raised his hand to stop us, and then waved again. We drive away.That's how it was.We made fun of Amalia for finding a husband after all, and we had a foolish fun all afternoon.But Amalia was more silent than usual.She was deeply in love with Soldini, said Brunswick, who was usually vulgar and did not understand Amalia's character.But this time we all think he's right.We were all in a frenzy of joy that day, and everyone, including Amalia, came home in the middle of the night as dazed as if we'd drunk castle wine. " "So, what about Soldini? asked K. "Yes, Sortini," said Olga, who I saw several times as I passed him that afternoon, sitting with his arms folded on the shaft of the fire engine, and remained until The carriage from the castle came to fetch him. He didn't even go to see the fire drill, which Papa hoped so much that Soldini would, because he performed better than anyone his age in this drill. All excellent." "Haven't you heard from him again?" asked K. "You seem to be concerned about Soldini." "Oh, yes, I am," said Olga. "Oh, yes, of course we heard about him. The next morning we Amalia was awakened from deep sleep by a scream; others had turned over in bed and lay back to sleep, but I was completely awakened by her and ran to her. She had a letter in her hand. The letter stood at the window from a man who had just handed it in, and was still waiting for an answer. It was short, and Amalia had read it, and held it in her hanging hand; I saw How lovely she was in her languid demeanor! I knelt down beside her and read the letter. Before I had finished, she glanced at me and took the letter out of my hand. went back, but she couldn't read it a second time, so she tore the letter to pieces and threw the pieces at the face of the man outside the window, and closed the window. Our fate was this morning It's decided. I say it's decided, but every minute of the previous afternoon was just as decisive." "So what was said in the letter?" asked K. "Well, I haven't told you that yet," said Olga, "this is a letter from Soltini to the girl with the ruby ​​necklace. I cannot repeat the letter. It was a note calling her to him at the Herrenhof, telling her to go at once, because he would have to leave in half an hour. It was written in the most obscene language, which I I've never heard it before, and I can only guess at half the meaning of it literally. Anyone who doesn't know Amalia will think it a shame to see a girl receive such a letter, even though she hasn't been touched. It was not a love letter, not even a soft word, but on the contrary, Soldini was disturbed by Amalia's presence, distracted from his work, and obviously had a fit of rage. Later, we tried to understand The truth, putting all the pieces together; it was evident that Soldini had intended to go straight back to the castle that afternoon, but he stayed in the village for Amalia's sake, but was unable to make it through the night. She forgot that next morning he was so angry that he wrote the letter, which is bound to be the initial outrage of anyone who reads it, even the most cold-blooded, but, If someone else read the threatening tone of the letter again, fear would immediately gain the upper hand, but Amalia only felt anger. She never knew what to be afraid of for herself or for others. When I climbed into bed again When I was sleeping, I kept thinking about the last paragraph of the letter--the paragraph stopped in the middle of the sentence: You have to come to me right away, otherwise, I will... Amalia is still sitting on the window sill and watching Outside, she seemed to be waiting for another messenger to arrive, and she was going to deal with them as she did with the first." "That's how officials are," said K. reluctantly, "and that's just part of it." One type. What about your father? I hope he protests strongly to the authorities if he doesn't want to go straight to Herrenhof. The worst thing about this is not that Amalia The disgrace received, which is easily redeemed, I do not understand why you exaggerate it; how can such a letter from Soldini inflict a lifelong disgrace on Amalia? . . . The story, people thought it was a shame that she could never wash away. It is absolutely possible. It is very easy to restore Amalia's reputation. In a few days, everything will disappear. The real shame is Sol Tini himself, not Amalia. I am horrified that Soldini could possibly abuse his authority to such an extent. This kind of thing failed this time because it was too explicit, too naked, and touched again. A strong opponent like Amalia, but this kind of thing can be done a thousand times under less favorable conditions, without even the victim himself being aware of his shame."" Shh," said Olga, "Amalia is looking this way." Amalia has finished serving her parents and is busy undressing her mother.Clothes.She had just untied her mother's skirt, let her mother's arms wrap around her neck, picked her up a little more as she took off the skirt, and then put her down gently.Her father is still angry because he took care of his wife first, but it was obviously because her body was worse than his. He was trying to undress himself at this moment, maybe he also wanted to use this as a way to express what he thought A reproach for the slowness of his daughter's movements; but though he began to do the easiest and most unnecessary thing, just to take off the big slippers that were loosely fitting on his feet, he could not even take them off. When he came down, he was gasping for breath, and had to stop there, and lay straight on the chair again. "But you don't know what is really decisive," said Olga, "you may be right in what you say, but what is decisive is that Amalia did not go to Herrenhof; The attitude may be forgiven. No one will pursue it; but because she didn't go to the hotel, the curse fell on our family, and thus made her attitude towards the messenger an unforgivable offense. Yes, yes, and this was even later a major accusation publicly stated." "What!" K. cried out, but seeing Olga raise both hands to beg him not to shout, he immediately went on. Lowered his voice. "Did you, her sister, go so far as to say that Amalia should obey Soltini and go to the Hotel Herrenhof?" "No," said Olga, "God help me, but Don't doubt me like that, how can you think like that? I don't know anyone else who does everything so rightly like Amalia. If she had gone to the Herrenhof Hotel, of course I would too support her; but she didn't go, it was a great act of heroism. As for me, I confess frankly, if I had received a letter like that, I would have gone. I can't stand that kind of threat, I'm afraid it will happen What an accident, only Amalia can bear it. For there are many ways to deal with such things; Going to the Hotel Herrenhof just to make a fool of yourself, you might find that Soltini left as soon as he sent the messenger, which is very possible, because the hearts of these gentlemen are fickle. But Amalia would do neither that nor any other way, and because the insult she had received was too deep, she refused without reservation. All she had to do was show a little resignation and step into Herron at the right moment. Hof Hotel, then the punishment would not fall on us, we have a lot of very clever lawyers here, they can make a lot of things out of nothing, but in this case they can't even out of nothing. There are no shadows, but on the contrary there are letters defying Sordini, couriers insulting him, etc." "But what are all these punishments and lawyers?" said K. "Amalia will never be prosecuted and punished for Sordini's criminal prosecution?" Not directly punished, but punished in other ways, how severely she and our family were punished, you must be beginning to see. It seems to you unjust and terrible Yes, but you are the only one in the village who holds such a view. This view is beneficial to us and should comfort us. If this view is obviously not based on wrong views, we will really I am relieved. I can easily attest to this, and you must forgive me if I mention Frieda in passing, but between Frieda and Klamm, apart from the final outcome of the two events, Some of the initial situations that occurred were very similar to those between Amalia and Soldini, and, although they may sound surprising to you at first, they now sound natural to you. Not only because you have You are used to such things, and habit alone does not weaken one's normal judgment, but also because you have freed yourself from your old prejudices." "No, Olga," said K., "I don't understand why you should Include Frieda, her situation is different, don't confuse these two different things, now you go ahead and tell your story." "If I insist on comparing, please don't No wonder," said Olga, "you still have a vestige of prejudice in you, so when Frieda is mentioned you feel compelled to protect her from comparisons. She doesn't need protection." , but should be commended. Comparing these two things, I don't mean that they are exactly the same, but that the relationship between the two is like the relationship between black and white, and the white is Frieda. The last thing a person should do to Frieda is to laugh at her, as I did once in the bar--I'm sorry afterwards,--but if anyone laughs at her, it's because Jealousy or hostility, in any case, can still make people laugh. On the other hand, people can only express contempt for Amalia, except for relatives of blood. So, as you say, these two things are completely They are different, but they are still alike." "These two things have nothing in common," said K., shaking his head stubbornly. She really loves Klamm, too, like Sortini, and if you don't believe it, you just have to ask her, she still loves him." "But it's really different. Is it?" asked Olga. "Do you think that Klamm could not write to Frieda in the same tone as Soltini? These gentlemen are like that. When they get up from business, they don't know what to do with their daily spare time." Life is good, and then the wildest things get distracted, not everyone, but most of them. The letter to Amalia may also be a spur of the moment, without any thought of writing in The meaning of the words in the letter. Do we know what these gentlemen are thinking? Have you ever heard or heard about the tone of Klamm's speech to Frieda? Klamm is famous for being rough, He could sit for hours in silence like a mute, and then burst out with such rudeness that you could not help trembling. I had never heard of such a thing with Soldini, but I knew him then. There are very few people there. All that is really known about him is that his name resembles Soltini. If it hadn't been for the similarity between the two of them, he might not have been known at all. Even as a firefighter He was an authority figure of the society, and he was obviously taken for Sortini, as a real authority figure, and he used the similarity of his name to push many things on Sortini, especially when it came to any task. When he was asked to act as a representative, so that he could work undisturbed. Now, a man who is not sociable like Soldini suddenly finds himself in love with a country girl. It is, of course, very different from, say, the apprentice of the little carpenter next door. One must also remember that between a lord and a country cobbler's daughter there is a gulf which must be crossed by a bridge. , Sortini wanted to do this, and maybe someone else would not do it like that. Of course, we are all considered to belong to the castle, and there is no gap between us, and there is no need for communication. , which may be true in ordinary circumstances, but when something really big happens, all our relentless evidence proves it to be untrue. At any rate, all this should make you The conduct of Soltini is more comprehensible and less terrible; compared with that of Cramm, he is still more reasonable, and even for those affected personally, more bearable. Cramm writes Love letter, more infuriating than the wildest letter ever written by Saltini. Don't get me wrong, I'm not taking the liberty of criticizing Kramm, I'm just comparing the two because you can't see the two What is the difference between individuals. Klamm is a tyrant over women, he summons one to him first, then another to him, he can't get along with anyone, he drives out They are as casual as they come to them. Well, Klamm didn't even bother to write a letter first, thinking it would be too much trouble. So, in contrast, such a sociable Soldini, his relationship with women At least people don't know that he condescends to write a letter in his beautiful official hand, even if it is badly written. , can it be said that his behavior is as terrible as Klamm?If being favored by Klamm is not an honor but the opposite, how can Frieda's love for Klamm be considered an honor?The existence of such a relationship between women and officials is, believe me, difficult, or rather easy to ascertain.Because love always happens in a relationship between a man and a woman.An official will never be frustrated in love.So, in this respect, a girl—and I mean not only Frieda, but many others—dedicates herself to an official only out of love.She loved him, and she devoted herself to him, and that was all, there was nothing to praise here.But you will object to me that Amalia doesn't love Soldini at all.Well, maybe she didn't love him, but maybe she loved him then, who could be sure?Even she wasn't sure, how could she imagine that she didn't love him when she rejected him so fiercely?Because no official has ever been rejected by a woman.Barnabas used to say that sometimes she would tremble with rage, as she had three years ago when she had tried to close the window.It was so true that no one dared to ask her anything; she and Sortini were done, and that was all she knew; whether she loved him or not, she did not know.But we all know that officials can't help falling in love with women, yes, even falling in love with them, if they want to deny it, let them deny it, and Solti Not only did Johnny show affection for Amalia, but he jumped over the pole as soon as he saw her; even though his legs were stiff at the desk, he jumped over the pole in one fell swoop.But you will say that Amalia is just an exception.Yes, she was an exception, she refused to go to Sortini, that was an exception, but if I add that she didn't love Sortini at all, then she was the only exception, It is beyond the comprehension of ordinary people.I have to confess to you that we were all very confused that afternoon, but in spite of our confusion we thought we saw signs of Amalia falling in love, at least some signs of love.But once we take all of this into account, what is the difference between Frieda and Amalia?The only difference is that Frieda did what Amalia didn't want to do. ""Perhaps so," said K., "but the main difference for me is that Frieda is my fiancée, and Amalia is my concern only because she is Barnabas' messenger. Sister, her fate may be linked to his position.If Amalia was seriously humiliated at the hands of an official, as you said at the beginning, I should take the matter seriously, but out of a sense of public opinion and not just Amalia's personal sympathy.But all this you have said has changed my situation, although I don't understand how, but since you have told me, I am ready to accept this changed situation, so I want to put That matter is out of the question entirely; I am not a member of the Fire Society, and Saltini has nothing to do with me.But Frieda is related to me, I trust her unreservedly and will continue to trust her, and I am surprised that you deviate from the subject and attack Frieda while talking about Amalia , trying to shake my trust in her.I don't think you did it on purpose, much less out of hostility, because I should have left long ago.You didn't mean it, but you were forced by circumstances, out of love for Amalia, to esteem her above all other women, you said these words involuntarily, and because you You can't find enough virtue in Amalia, and you justify yourself by belittling others.Amalia's actions are good enough, but the more you tell, the less it is clear whether her actions were noble or base, wise or stupid, brave or cowardly; Hidden in her heart, no one could guess what she was planning.On the other hand, Frieda didn't do anything amazing, she just acted according to her own mind, which is obvious to anyone who observes her actions with good intentions, and can be used Facts prove it, so there is no excuse for others to gossip.But I don't want to belittle Amalia, nor do I want to defend Frieda. All I want is for you to understand what kind of relationship exists between me and Frieda. An attack on Frieda is an attack on myself. .I came to your village because of my original intention, and it is also out of my own intention to settle here, but since I came here, everything I have encountered, especially what will happen to me in the future You can't argue with the fact that I am completely dependent on Frieda's future -- which, despite its bleakness, is still there.Yes, I was hired here as a surveyor, but that was just a pretense, they were teasing me, every family kicked me out, and they tease me to this day; but The game I've come across now is more intricate, almost a big circle--it's intentional, but it's not very interesting,--but I've got a home and a job , with practical work to do, I have an unmarried wife who will share my duties while I have other things to do, and I am going to marry her and become a resident of the village, apart from official relations. In addition to the connection, I have a personal connection with Klamm, although I have not yet made use of it.Isn't that enough?Why am I welcomed by you when I come to you?Why did you tell me the history of your family with all your heart and soul?Why do you think I might be able to help you a little?Of course not because I was a land surveyor who was kicked out a week ago by, say, Raisman and Brunswick, but because I was a man with some power behind him.But for these, I depend on Frieda, and Frieda herself is such a humble person that even if you ask her about it, she doesn't know it's true.So, all things considered, the innocent Frieda seems to have accomplished more than the conceited Amalia, so I would say that I get the impression that you are begging for Amalia.Whom to ask for help?As a last resort, who else but Frieda. ""Did I really attack Frieda? asked Orrin. "I really didn't mean that, and I thought I wasn't saying anything bad about her, though, probably to belittle her; we're in a bad place, our whole world is ruined, and once We start complaining, and we unconsciously exaggerate.You are right that there is a big difference between us and Frieda now, and sometimes it is good to emphasize that.Three years ago we were respectable girls, and Frieda was a homeless wild child, a maid at the Bridgehead Inn, and we didn't even look her in the eye when we passed her. So arrogant, but that's what we're taught.But if you look at the scene at the Herrenhof Hotel that night, you may understand our respective positions today.Frieda had the whip in her hand, and I was among the servants.But there are worse things than this!Frieda may look down on us, her position is entitled to look down on us, and the actual situation forces her to look down on us.Who does not despise us?Whoever decides to despise us will find many friends.Do you know Frieda's successor?Her name is Pepi.I met her for the first time the night before, usually as a maid in a hotel.She despised me even more than Frieda.When I ran to buy beer, she saw me from the window, and ran to lock the door. I had to beg her for a long time, and promised to give her the ribbon on my head, and she opened the door. I go in.But when I brought the ribbon to her, she threw it in the corner of the room again.Well, if she wants to despise me, I can't help it, I have to rely more or less on her good opinion, she is the barmaid in charge of the Herrenhof bar.Naturally, she was only temporary, as she was not yet qualified to be a formal hostess.One need only listen to how the innkeeper spoke to Peyne, and compare his tone with that of Frieda.可是这并不能使佩披不藐视我，甚至还想藐视阿玛丽亚，阿玛丽亚只消眼睛一瞪，就可以把她跟她所有的辫子和缎带一起撵出屋子去，比她用自己两条肥腿跑得还要快。昨天我又听她说那些恼人的中伤阿玛丽亚的话，直到最后顾客们都来帮我说话了，她才住口，至于他们是怎样帮我的忙的，你已经看到过了。 ""你真容易生气，"Ｋ说，"我只是把弗丽达摆到恰如其分的位置上，并没有像你想的那样存心小看你们。你们这一家对我有着特殊的利害关系，这我从来没有否认过；但是这种利害关系又怎么能成为我鄙视你们的理由，我就不明白了。 ""哦，Ｋ，"奥尔珈说，"我怕连你也会明白这是什么道理；阿玛丽亚对索尔蒂尼的态度就是我们受到鄙视的起因，难道你连这一点也不明白吗？ ""这的确要教人奇怪，"Ｋ说，"人们也许会称赞或者责备阿玛丽亚这样一个举动，可是怎么会鄙视她呢？而且即使她由于某种我无法理解的原因而受到人家的鄙视，这种鄙视又为什么要扩大到你们其他人身上，扩大到她清白无辜的家庭呢？比方说佩披鄙视你，这是她不懂礼貌，假使我再上赫伦霍夫旅馆去的话，我要向她指出这一点。 ""如果你要去改变那些鄙视我们的人的看法，Ｋ，"奥尔珈说，"那你就会丢掉你的工作，因为这一切都是由城堡操纵的。救火会开庆祝会的第二天早晨发生的事情，我都记得清清楚楚。勃伦斯威克，他那时还是我们的助手，跟往常一样来到我们的家里，领了他那份活儿便回家去了，我们正坐着吃早饭，每一个人都兴高采烈，包括阿玛丽亚和我自己在内，爸爸不停地谈着这次庆祝会，给我们讲着关于救火会的计划，因为你一定知道城堡也有一个救火会，它派来了一个代表团参加庆祝会。大家对城堡的救火会议论纷纷，在场的从城堡里来的老爷们看了我们救火会的表演给予很高的评价，认为城堡的救火会比不上我们的，因此曾说起要在本村教练员的协助下改组他们的救火会；有好几个人可能当上教练候选人，但是爸爸认为自己颇有当选的希望。他谈论着这些事情，像他平时那样心情愉快，张开两只手撑着桌子，到后来他的两只手臂把半张桌子都抱住了，当他抬头从打开的窗子望着天空的时候，他的脸显得那么年轻而又洋溢着希望的光辉，这也是我最后一次看到他有这样的脸色。接着阿玛丽亚带着一副我们以前从来没有见到过的镇静而又自信的神情说，对老爷们说的话不要过于认真，在这种场合他们惯于说些动听的话，但是并没有多大作用，或者一点作用也没有，他们的话一说出口就忘得干干净净，当然，下次人们照样又会重新上他们的当的。妈妈不许她讲这种话，爸爸却觉得她这副像大人一样懂事的神气很好笑，接着，他吃惊地跳了起来，好像向四周寻找他刚失去的东西似的--可又并没有失去什么，--并且说勃伦斯威克告诉过他关于送信使者和撕掉一封信的事，问我们知道不知道这件事，这件事跟谁有关，到底是怎么回事？我们大家都不吱一声，巴纳巴斯那时很年轻，像一只小羊羔似的，说了一句特别淘气或是失礼的话，于是变换了话题，整个事情也就忘掉了。 "

阿玛丽亚受到的惩罚 "可是不久以后，我们就被四面八方向我们提出有关那封信的问题搞得不知所措了，不论是朋友还是仇人，是熟人还是素不相识的人，都来访问我们。可是谁也不肯多呆上一会儿，我们平时最亲密的朋友走得最快。雷斯曼平时走路慢条斯理，一本正经，这回也匆匆地跑来，仿佛只是来看看房间的大小似的，四面张望了一下就走了，好像孩子们玩一种吓人的游戏似的，他逃跑的时候，爸爸推开了身边的人赶上去追他，一直追到大门口才停下来；勃伦斯威克跑来通知我们，他说得很老实，说他打算自己开张承接活儿干了，他是一个机灵人，懂得怎样抓住恰当的时机；顾客们都来了，在爸爸的贮藏室里寻找他们交给他修理的皮鞋，起初爸爸还劝他们改变主意--我们也竭力在旁边帮他说话，--可是后来他也就算啦，一言不发地帮他们寻找他们的鞋子，定货簿上的定户一行一行地注销了，他们留在我们家里的一块块皮革也都拿回去了，欠我们的账也都付清了，每一件事情都进行得很顺利，没有一丝儿麻烦，他们没有任何要求，只是希望尽快地彻底地同我们断绝一切关系，即使他们因此受到损失，也毫不在意，临了，正像我们可能预计到的那样，救火会的队长西曼来了，那情景我到今天还历历在目，西曼个儿长得又高又结实，只是因为有肺病，身子微微有点怄偻，他是一个严肃的人，从来不苟言笑，当时他站在爸爸的面前，现在他不得不对这个他一向佩服而且私下还答应让他当副队长的人说，队里再也不需要他去效劳了，并且要求他交还他的证件。那时所有碰巧在我们家里的人一时都丢下自己的事情，簇拥在这两个人的周围，西曼踌躇着说不出话来，只是一个劲儿拍着爸爸的肩膀，好像要从爸爸的身上拍出他应当说而不知道怎么说的话来似的。因此，他不停地笑着，可能是想提起一点自己和所有在场者的兴致来，可是因为他不会笑，谁也没有听见他笑过，所以没有一个人觉得他是真的在笑。爸爸忙着帮人家找了一天的东西，他很累，累得连眼前发生了什么事情好像都不知道了。我们也都感到非常沮丧，可是因为年纪轻，还不相信我们已经彻底毁灭了，还指望在这一大群客人中间会有那么一个人来结束这一切，让一切事情重新向另一个方面转变。我们愚蠢地以为西曼就是这么一个人。我们都紧张地等待着他的笑声停下来，等待着他最后宣布决定性的通知。假使他不是笑我们遭遇的一切都是愚蠢而又不公正的迫害的话，那他笑的又是什么呢？啊，队长，队长，现在你终于可以告诉大家了吧，我们这样想着，并且挨到他的身边去，但这只是使他非常古怪地躲开我们。最后他终于开口说话了，他并不是回答我们所抱的秘密愿望，而是回答人们向他发出的鼓励的叫喊声或是愤怒的吼叫声。可是我们仍旧怀着希望。开头他大大地赞扬我们的爸爸，称他是救火会的光荣，是后辈无法仿效的典范，是救火会的一个不可或缺的成员，要是把他免职，救火会必然会濒于毁灭。这些话说得都非常好，如果到此为止的话。可是他接下去说道，虽然如此，救火会已经决定，要求他立即辞职，当然这只是一种权宜之计，大家都懂得救火会非这样做不可的重要原因。假使爸爸在前一天的庆祝会上不是表现得那么出人头地的话，或者还不至于要采取目前的措施，但是正因为他技艺高超，才引起了官方对救火会的注意，给救火会造成了这样声名卓著的地位，因而它的纯洁性也就比荣誉更重要了。现在送信的使者既然受到了侮辱，救火会就不得不向他传达这个决定，而他，西曼本人，也深感为难。他希望爸爸不会再增加他的为难。西曼因为自己终于把话说了出来而感到高兴。他高兴得连自己的夸大其词的伎俩都忘掉了，只是指着挂在墙上的那张证书，用手指做了一个手势。爸爸点了点头，便跑过去把证书取下来，可是他的两只手直哆嗦，简直没法子把它从钩子上取下来。我就爬到一张椅子上去帮他取了下来。从那以后，他就完啦，他甚至连证书都没有从镜框里取出来，就整个儿把它递给了西曼。接着他在一个角落里坐了下来，既不动弹，也不跟谁说话，这样我们就得尽我们自己的力量应付最后留下来的那些人们。 ""你从哪儿看出这中间是受了城堡的影响呢？ "Ｋ问道。"城堡似乎至今并没有在这中间起什么影响。你告诉我的这一切，不过是一般人毫没来由的恐惧，不过是幸灾乐祸，伤害邻居，不过是虚伪的友谊，这种事情哪儿都有，而且我得说，你的爸爸--至少在我看来是这样--也未免心胸太狭窄了一点，那张证书算得了什么呢？那不过是一张证明他的本领的纸头罢了，他的本领人家是拿不走的，假使他那些本领对于救火会来说是不可缺少的，那就更好办啦，他能够教队长感到难堪的一个办法，就是不等他讲第二句话，便把那张证书扔在他的脚下。可是我认为重要的事情，倒是你一句话也没有提到阿玛丽亚；这一切全得怪阿玛丽亚，她显然是悄悄地躲在幕后眼看着全家的崩溃。 ""不，"奥尔珈说，"这不能怪哪一个人，谁也没有办法改变局面，一切都是城堡的影响。 ""城堡的影响，"阿玛丽亚重复地说着，他们没有注意到，她已经从院子里悄悄地溜进了屋子；老人们早已上床睡觉了。"你们是不是在聊城堡的事情？你们俩还坐在这儿交头接耳吗？可是你来的时候说马上就要走的，Ｋ，现在快十点啦。你真喜欢这种胡扯吗？村子里就有靠胡扯过活的人，他们就像你们这样头挨着头，一个钟头又一个钟头地互相谈笑取乐。可是我想你决不会是他们这样的人。 ""恰恰相反，"Ｋ说，"我正是这样的人，而且我最不喜欢的就是那些不爱闲扯而让别人去闲扯的人。 ""的确，"阿玛丽亚说，"唔，你知道喜爱各有不同；有一回我听说有一个小伙子，他别的都不想，日日夜夜只想城堡，什么事情他都不干，因此人家便为他担忧，他的心眼儿完全给城堡迷住啦。临了，原来他真正想的并不是城堡，而是城堡机关里的一个女工的女儿，后来他得到了那个姑娘，一切也就平安无事了。 ""我想我倒是很喜欢那个人的，"Ｋ说。"你说你喜欢那个人，我可不大相信，"阿玛丽亚说，"可能你喜欢的是他的妻子吧。得啦，我不打搅你们，我得去睡觉了，为了老人家的缘故，我得把灯熄灭了。现在他们已经睡得沉沉的，可是他们实在睡不上一个钟头，一个钟头以后，一星星亮光也会刺得他们睡不安生的。晚安啦。 "灯真的马上熄灭了，阿玛丽亚就在靠近她父母的地板上睡下了。"她说的那个小伙子是谁？ "Ｋ问。"我不知道，"奥尔珈说，"也许是勃伦斯威克，又不挺像他，也可能是别的什么人。她的话是不容易听得懂的，因为你往往说不准她到底是在说讽刺话呢，还是在认认真真说话。她大部分说的是真话，可是听起来却像在讽刺。 ""别费神解释啦，"Ｋ说，"你们怎么会这样依赖她的呢？在发生这次灾难以前就这样依赖她了吗，还是在以后才依赖她的呢？你们从来没有觉得要摆脱对她的依赖吗？你们这样依赖她到底有什么意思？她是年纪最轻的一个，应该让着你一点。不管她有罪无罪，她总是给你们家带来毁灭的人。她没有因此每天请求你们的宽恕，却反而把头抬得比谁都高，除了给父母于一些事情以外，什么事情也不操心，用她自己的话来说，什么也不能诱使她来了解你们的事儿，假使她有什么话要对你们讲，而且多半是正经话，可是听起来还是像在讽刺人。是不是因为她长得漂亮，你不只一次谈起这一点，因此就像女王一样统治着你们？唔，你们三个人长得都很像，可是阿玛丽亚与众不同的地方，很难说是一种逗人喜欢的优点，我第一次看到她的时候，就觉得很不舒服，我是说她那对又冷漠又严峻的眼睛。而且，虽然她是最小的一个，可是她的样子却不像是最小的，她的容貌好像永远是这个年龄，再也不会变老了，但也从来没有年轻过。你每天看见她，所以你看不出她脸上那种严峻的表情。细想起来，这就是为什么我认为不能把索尔蒂尼对她的爱情看得过分认真的理由，他给她送去那封信或许只是为了要惩罚她而不是要找她去。 ""我不想跟你争辩索尔蒂尼的事情，"奥尔珈说，"对于城堡里的老爷们来说，什么都是可能的，一个姑娘是债是丑，也随你爱怎么说就怎么说吧。可是除此以外，就阿玛丽亚来说，你全错啦。我并没有什么特殊的动机要把你争取到阿玛丽亚这边来，要是我想这样做的话，那也只是为了你的缘故。从某一方面来说，阿玛丽亚是造成我们不幸的原因，这是事实，可是就连爸爸，他是受到打击最严重的一个，他骂人是从不吝惜他的舌头，特别是在家里，可是就连他，即使在我们最倒霉的时候，也没有对阿玛丽亚说过一句责备的话。这并不是因为他赞成她的举动，他是一个崇拜索尔蒂尼的人，怎么会赞成她的举动呢？尽管事情过去了很久，他还是不明白她为什么要这样干，因为他是愿意为索尔蒂尼而牺牲自己和他所有的一切的，尽管显然是由于索尔蒂尼发怒了，结果事情并没有真的这样发生。我说显然是，那是因为我们再也没有听见索尔蒂尼说过一句别的话；假使说他在这次生气以前从来没有发过脾气，那么，他从那一天以后也就跟死去了一样无声无息。现在你就可以想见阿玛丽亚当时是怎么样了。我们都知道我们不会受到什么明确的惩罚。人家只是躲避我们。村子和城堡都躲避我们。可是当我们不得不注意到村子在跟我们断绝往来的时候，城堡却没有向我们作任何表示。当然，过去城堡照顾我们的时候，它也并没有给我们作什么表示，所以，现在又怎么会作相反的表示呢？这种教人摸不着头脑的感觉，使你最难受。这比村子里的人们躲避我们还要难受，因为他们抛弃我们并不是出于坚信我们有罪，也许他们对我们并没有什么严重不满的地方，那时候他们不像今天这样蔑视我们，他们抛弃我们只是由于害怕，只是等着瞧下一步会发生什么事情。当时我们也不怕生活桔据，因为欠户都把钱付给我们，他们偿付给我们的欠款都很优厚，我们没有食物，亲戚们偷偷地给我们送来，对我们来说，日子过得挺轻松，那真是一个收获的时节--虽然我们自己没有一寸土地，也没有人愿意雇我们去干活儿，这样我们就平生第一遭被判处了一种几乎整天无所事事的刑罚。在七八月的大热天，我们大家就这样关上窗子在屋子里坐着。什么事情也没有发生。没有邀约，没有消息，没有上门来访的人，什么也没有。 ""那么，"Ｋ说道，"既然什么也没有发生，你们头上也没有悬着什么明确的惩罚，那你们有什么需要害怕的呢？你们这班人真教人猜不透！ ""这教我怎么解释呢？ "奥尔珈说。"那时我们并不害怕将来会怎么样，在当时我们就已经在受折磨了，实际上就是在受惩罚了。村子里的人在等着我们再上他们那儿去，等爸爸的作场重新开张，等阿玛丽亚--她能做上等人家穿的最漂亮的衣服--重新上他们那儿去承接定货，他们对自己被迫干的那些事感到抱歉；一家平素受人尊敬的人家突然退出社会活动，这是每一个人的损失，所以他们同我们断绝来往的时候，他们认为只是尽自己的责任罢了，换了我们处在他们的地位，我们也得这样办。事情究竟是怎么回事，他们并不十分清楚，他们只晓得那个信使抓了一把碎纸片回到了赫伦霍夫旅馆。弗丽达看见他跑出去，后来又看见他跑回来，她跟他谈了几句话，因此她就把自己所知道的到处传播开了。但是这丝毫不是出于她对我们的敌意，而只是出于一个处在同样地位的人的一种责任感。正像我所说的，要是这一切能获得圆满的结局，人人都会感到高兴。如果我们突然公开宣布说什么事情都解决了，这件事不过是一个误会，这个误会现在已经完全消除了，或者说冒犯信使的事确实是事出有因，但是现在已经作了补救，或者其他等等--就是这样的话也会使人们感到满意，--或者说通过我们在城堡里的影响，这件事已经一笔勾销了，那么，我们毫无疑问会重新受到人们热情的接待，会受到多少亲吻和祝贺，这样的事我已经在别人身上看到过一两回了。甚至并不需要说这么多，假使我们跑出去公开露露面，假使我们同亲戚朋友重新来往，绝口不谈那封信的事，这就已经足够了，他们也会乐于避免旧事重提；他们不得不躲避我们，不仅是由于害怕，也因为提起了这个话题就使人难堪，只是想别再听到这件事，谈到这件事，想到这件事，别再为这件事而受到牵连。弗丽达宣扬这件事的时候，并不是出于恶意，而是警告大家，让村子里的人都知道出事了，大家应该小心别牵连进去。大家禁忌的不是我们这一家人，而是这一件事，我们这一家人不过跟这一件事有关罢了。所以，要是我们静静地重新走向前去，让过去的事情就此过去，并用我们的行动来表示事情已经结束，不管是怎样结束的，向大家保证这件事大概不会再提起了，不管当初这件事是怎样的性质，这样，一切也就平安无事了，我们也就会跟以前一样从四面八方找到朋友，即使我们自己还没有完全忘记过去发生的事情，人们也会谅解并且会帮助我们把它完全忘掉。我们并没有这样做，相反，我们在家里坐着。我不知道我们当时在期待什么来着，可能是在期待阿玛丽亚作出一个什么决定来，因为就在那天早晨她成了一家之主，到现在她仍旧保持了这个地位。她并没有什么特殊的计划，也没有命令或者要求我们什么，她仅仅是用沉默来领导我们。我们这些人自然是议论纷纷，从早到晚总是悄声低语谈论着，有时爸爸心里突然会惊慌起来，叫我到他那儿去，我就得在他的床沿守上半夜。或者，我跟巴纳巴斯两个人往往就蹑手蹑脚地一起溜走，巴纳巴斯起先根本不知道这是怎么回事，因此他总是热切地要我解释给他听，总是这样，因为他深知跟他一般年纪的小伙子所指望的那种无忧无虑的年月，他现在是绝对得不到了，所以我们俩常常头挨着头，Ｋ，就像现在咱们俩一样，谈啊谈的，忘记了已是黑夜，也忘记了早晨已经重新来临。我们的妈妈是我们中间最衰弱的一个，可能是因为她不仅要忍受我们共同的苦难，而且还要分担我们每一个人各自的苦难，所以，我们看见她变得那么厉害，都吓住了，按照我们的猜想，这种变化是在等待我们大家。她喜欢坐在一张沙发的角落里，那张沙发我们早已出让了，如今正在勃伦斯威克家的起居间里放着，那时她坐在那儿--我们说不上她到底是什么毛病，--常常不是打瞌睡便是长时间地自言自语，我们是根据她的嘴唇的翕动猜测的。自然我们老是谈那封信，老是翻来复去地谈着我们知道的内容和不知道的潜在涵义，老是互相争先恐后地想着各种挽回命运的计划；这是很自然的，也是无法避免的，但是毫无稗益，我们只是在原来想逃避的困境中越陷越深。那些异想天开的主意，不管是说得多么天花乱坠，又有什么用处呢？没有阿玛丽亚参加，什么计划都无法实施，一切计划都是假定的，一碰到阿玛丽亚就立刻给挡住了，因此毫无用处，而且即使向阿玛丽亚提出了这些主意，得到的结果也只是沉默。唔，说起来我很高兴，我对阿玛丽亚现在比那时了解得多了。她得忍受比我们大家更多的折磨，她是怎样忍受住这么多折磨而且仍旧活下来的，这简直是不可思议的事。妈妈也许不得不忍受我们所有的灾难，但这是因为这些灾难全都倾注在她身上的缘故；而且她也没有坚持多久；没有一个人能说她今天还继续在受灾受难，甚至在那时候她的神志就开始不清了。可是阿玛丽亚不仅忍受着痛苦，她还具有那种理解力能清清楚楚地看到自己受的痛苦，我们只看到事情的结果，她却知道事情的原因，我们还希望减轻一丁点儿痛苦或其他什么的，她却知道一切都已经决定了，我们还得低声细语，而她只消沉默。她那时候跟现在一样，面对事实，继续生活，忍受痛苦。在我们困难的时期里，我们的日子比她好过得多。当然，我们不得不搬出我们原来住的房子。勃伦斯威克住了进去，我们住进了这所茅屋，我们把家具用一辆手车报了好几趟，巴纳巴斯跟我在前面拉，爸爸跟阿玛丽亚在后面推，妈妈坐在这儿的一只箱子上，因为我们先把她送到这儿来，那时她一直在抽抽搭搭地哭泣。然而我记得，甚至在我来回奔波搬着东西的时候--人们也同样感到难过，因为我们常常碰见收割庄稼的马车，人们一看到我们就变得沉默起来，把他们的脸转过去，--即使在我们搬家的路上，巴纳巴斯和我也没有停止讨论我们的灾难和计划，因此我们常常在半路上停下，总得让爸爸在后面喂的一声吆喝才惊醒过来。但是这些谈论并没有使我们搬家以后的生活有所改观，倒是渐渐感到贫困桔据了。我们的亲友不再给我们送东西了，我们的钱也差不多花光了，就在那个时候，人们才第一次开始用那种你现在所能看到的态度鄙视我们。他们看到我们没有力量摆脱加在我们身上的诽谤，因此，他们恼怒起来了。他们并不低估我们存在的困难，尽管他们不确切知道那是些什么困难，他们知道，要是他们自己对付那些困难，他们也不会比我们高明多少，但是这一点只是更加促使他们感到需要跟我们划清界线--要是我们胜利了，他们就会跟着尊敬我们，但是既然我们失败了，他们就把过去采取的临时措施变为最后的决定，于是永远割断了我们跟社会公众的来往。这样，我们就为人们所不齿了，从此我们的名字就不再被人提起，如果他们不得不提起我们，他们就管我们叫巴纳巴斯家的人，因为他是罪愆最轻的一个；甚至连我们这所茅屋也沾上了邪恶的名声，如果你是诚实的话，你自己也会承认，你第一次踏进这所茅屋的时候，你也一定认为这是名副其实的；后来，当人们偶尔重新来看望我们的时候，他们往往会对一些最最微不足道的东西嗤之以鼻，比如说，对那盏挂在桌子上面的小油灯。这盏小油灯如果不挂在桌子上面，该挂在哪儿呢？可是他们看了受不了。但要是我们把灯挂到别的地方去，他们还是要讨嫌的。不论我们干什么，不论我们有什么，那都是教人瞧不起的。 "