Chapter 2 Primer

It remembers a feeling of surprise, then a sense of falling.But that's all.It continues to wait. It waited for a long, long time, this kind of waiting is not difficult, because there is no memory constraint, and there is no sound.And because of that, it doesn't realize that it's waiting; it doesn't know who it is at this moment.It just exists, it doesn't know how much time has passed, it doesn't even have a sense of time at all. It just waits and watches.At first nothing could be seen.Gradually fire, rock, water, and finally some reptiles appeared, and after a while they began to change and grow.They're all about devouring each other, multiplying, and nothing else.Since there is nothing else to compare, this seems to be all right.

Time ticked by.It watched objects large and small killing and devouring each other aimlessly.It's not very interesting to watch, just because there's nothing else to do and they're everywhere, so it just has to watch.It wondered: why should I watch this? These scenes make it meaningless, but helpless, so it still just watches.It thought about all this for a long time, but still had no clue.There is no way to make sense of it all, the meaning has not yet manifested.Just it and them at the moment. They are numerous and endless, busy killing, devouring and copulating.Only it wasn't involved in all this, which also confused it.Why is it different?Why is it so different from them?who is it?If it's someone specific, shouldn't it do something like the rest of them?

Some more time passed.Those countless little reptiles grew up and became more skilled at killing.Interesting at first glance, but only minor changes.They crawled, jumped, staggered and killed each other—some simply jumped into the air and came down to kill.Interesting - but so what? It's starting to feel uncomfortable with it all.What the hell does this mean?Should it get involved and be a part of it?If not, then why is it looking here? It decides to find out what it means to be here, whatever that is.So it began to study those large and small objects, comparing itself with their differences.They all need to eat and drink, or they will die.Even if they eat and drink, they will eventually die.But it won't die.It just goes on and on and never ends.It does not need to eat or drink.But gradually, it finds that it does need something...but what is it?It can feel that somewhere there is something that it needs, that this need is growing, but it does not know what it is.Just a feeling telling it that something is missing.

Time passed in a rush, and the answer still hadn't appeared.kill, devour; devour, kill.What is the point of all this?Why am I looking at this and being helpless?It's starting to feel a little uncomfortable with all this. Suddenly one day it has a whole new question: where do I come from? It has long known that fertilized eggs come from copulation, but it is not produced from fertilized eggs.It is not produced by copulation at all.There is no such thing at all.It was the beginning, and it was forever, save for a vague and unsettling memory of the fall.The rest are either hatched or bred.It is not.Thinking of it this way, the chasm between it and them became deeper and wider, utterly irreconcilable, and it separated it from them completely and forever.It is alone, forever, utterly alone.It feels sad.It also wants to be part of something, not just itself - shouldn't there be a way for it to mate and reproduce too?

And so it became more important than ever.The idea - self-reproduction.They are all doubling.It wants to do the same. It painfully watched those dull objects go about their lives.It produced some resentment, and the resentment turned into anger, and the anger eventually turned into rage, rage at the stupid, idiot mortal beings, at their endless, empty, shameful existence.This rage continued to heat up, until one day it couldn't stand it anymore.Without thinking, it stood up and rushed towards a lizard, trying to crush the lizard.Then, a wonderful thing happened: It's in the body of the lizard now.

See what the lizard sees, feel what the lizard feels. For a long time, it completely forgot about the previous outrage. The lizard didn't seem to notice that it had an extra sojourner, a passenger, and continued its business of killing and copulating.It is at peace inside the lizard.It's very interesting that it attaches itself to the lizard and then kills things smaller than itself.It did an experiment, transferring itself into those little things.In comparison, being attached to the body of the Slayer is more interesting, but it can't produce any profound thoughts.Being in the body of the slain is fun too, and has thoughts, but unpleasant ones.

It plays with these new experiences.It reads their emotions, simple and chaotic.They still don't notice it, don't even think about it -- in fact, they just don't think about it at all.They are incapable of having thoughts.It's so shabby, but it can still survive.They have life but they don't understand life, and they don't know what to do with life.It's not fair.Soon it became impatient and angry again. Finally, one day, something like a monkey appeared.They don't get off the ground at first.They are small, timid, and rowdy.But something caught its attention: they have hands, and they do amazing things with them.He watched them realize the use of their own hands too, and began to use them.They do a lot of novel things with their hands: masturbation, hurting people, grabbing food from their weaker counterparts.

It was fascinated and looked closer.It watched them fight each other and run away to hide; it watched them steal from each other when no one was around; it watched them do horrible things to each other and pretend nothing happened.As it watched, something never happened before: it laughed. It laughed, and a definite and pleasant thought was born. It thought: I can do this.