Chapter 109 § 109 Inability to have an independent life

I knocked furtively on her door, and she quickly let me in.She must have seen my urgency, so she immediately threw herself into my arms without asking any questions or feeling uneasy.I caressed her shining hair, looked down into her eyes, and a passion suddenly overwhelmed me, like a sudden spring flood sweeping away the remaining snow in winter; and I wanted to be still The intention to talk to her vanished, too, as Molly gasped as I pulled her into my arms violently, then gave herself up to me. The last time we were together felt like months, not days ago.When she kissed me hungrily, it suddenly made me feel awkward, not sure why she wanted me so much.She is so young and beautiful, and it would be vanity if I believed that she loved me, my haggard self.However, she didn't give me a chance to doubt, and pulled me onto her without hesitation.In this moment of deep sharing, I finally realized this true love from her blue eyes.

She pulled me over with her pale and strong hands and hugged me tightly, which made me feel so honored to have this enthusiasm.Later, I still remember the way her bright hair was scattered on the pillow, the sweet wood and mountain fragrance from her skin, and even the way she raised her hair and groaned passionately. Then Molly marveled softly at my enthusiasm, and it felt like I was a different person.She rested her head on my chest while I stroked her dark hair quietly and sniffed her usual scent of thyme and lavender.I closed my eyes, knowing that I was guarding my thoughts well, a habit I had long ago with Molly.

But Verity didn't. It didn't happen to me, and I don't think anyone else would want it to happen either.Maybe, I hope, if only I'm fully aware of the feeling, then as long as I don't say it, no damage will be done.I only hope that I can forever suppress my feelings for Kettricken's sweet lips and delicate white skin. Crown Prince Verity left Buckkeep in the winter of the third year of the Red Ship Siege, with a small entourage of hand-picked followers to follow him on his mission, and his bodyguards would accompany him to the Kingdom of the Mountains and remain there Waiting for his return.He believed that a small expedition would require only a small party of pack animals, and that all food supplies would have to accompany him as he traversed the mountains in winter.

He also thought that he didn't want to convey murderous intent to the ancient spirits, but apart from his entourage, few people knew his real mission.He is ostensibly traveling to the Kingdom of the Mountains to meet Kettricken's father, King Iyo, for possible military support against the Red Ships. Among Crown Prince Verity's entourage, a few are worthy of mention.Hao De, the combat mechanic master of Buckkeep, was one of his first candidates.Even in her advanced age, her mastery of strategy remains unmatched in the realm, and her prowess with weapons remains unsurpassed.Charin, Verity's personal servant, has followed him for many years and has accompanied him through many battles.It was not at all surprising that Verity chose these two to accompany him.Ali, with brown skin like his name, had served as Verity's armed bodyguard for more than ten years, lost one eye and suffered serious damage to one ear, but seemed more alert than anyone else.The twins Kaif and Kefu, like Ali, have served as the guard of honor for Verity for many years, and they also accompanied this time.Another member, Burrich, the Stable Master of Buckkeep, volunteered to join the expedition.When he was opposed to leaving Buckkeep, he pointed out that a capable man was in charge of the stables at Buckkeep, and that the expedition needed someone who knew animals to get the animals through the mountains. severe winter.He also pointed out that his ability as a doctor and experience as a member of the Prince of Horses also qualified him to join the expedition, but few people knew that he was also with him.

Verity summoned me to his study the night before his departure. "You don't agree to this, do you? You think it's a futile trip." He greeted me. I had to smile, but he did say what was on my mind without knowing it. "I suppose I'm quite suspicious of the matter." I cautiously agreed with him. "Me too. But do I have any other options? This at least gives me a chance to do something myself, which is better than sitting in that goddamn beacon tower until I die." He had spent the past few days painstakingly transcribing Kettricken's map.As I watched him carefully roll up the copy of the map and put it in his leather case, I couldn't help but marvel at his transformation since last week.He was still pale and exhausted, and his body had unfortunately atrophied from too many months of sitting, but now he was in good spirits.He and Kettricken had been in the Great Hall every night since he had decided on this mission.It was a pleasure to see him whet his appetite, and he stayed again with a glass of wine to listen to Fangrun or some other minstrel to entertain us, and the renewed enthusiasm between him and Kettricken was another of his renewed ties. The desire to recover.When they sat at the same table, she rarely took her eyes off her husband's face.And when the minstrel entertained the crowd, she always put her finger on the back of his upper arm.She shone before him like a burning candle.As much as I try to guard my heart, I still know all too well the heightened joy of their evening together.I'd tried to bask in Molly's tenderness to avoid their passion, but in the end Molly was delighted by my rekindled passion, which made me so guilty.How would she feel knowing that my desire for her was not entirely my own?

It is the Skill.I have been warned about its power and its pitfalls, how it attracts and drains one's energies, leaving only the desire to use it.No one had ever warned me of the trap I was facing, so in some ways I expected Verity to leave so that I could regain my mind. "What you do in Beacon is just as important. If only the people could understand how you burned yourself for them..." "You know that too. We've grown closer this summer, boy, than I could ever imagine. I haven't been so close to anyone since your father died." Closer than you realize, Your Highness.However, I didn't dare to say it. "yes."

"I want to ask you one favor, two favors in fact." "You know I won't say no." "Don't judge too soon. First of all, I want you to take care of my wife. She has learned a lot of Buckkeep rules, but she still trusts others too much, so please ensure her safety before I return." "Don't worry about it, even if you don't ask me, I will do it, Your Highness." "Another thing." He took a breath and then sighed, "I want to stay here too, in your heart, as long as I can." "Your Highness." I hesitated.He's right, it's not something I want to promise him, but I've done it first because I know it's a wise choice to defend the kingdom.But what about me?I had already felt the force of Verity gradually eroding the boundaries of my mind, and now we were not talking about a connection of hours or days, but of weeks or months.I wondered if this was what happened to the members of the Skill group, if they would not end up having independent lives.