Chapter 4 Verse 4 To snatch his brother's throne

I raised my hand to touch the little thing, a little blue stone wrapped in silver mesh, and I took it off. "Come on," Burrich said.These quiet words were deeper than a dog's howl, but his tone was menacing and commanding, and I had to let go, unable to ask why he said it.He brought me up as an outcast, and now he puts his future in my hands, sits by the fire and waits for my answer.I watched him carefully from the bouncing firelight.He had come to me as an out-and-out giant, dark and menacing, but also a brusque protector, and this was perhaps the first time I saw him as a human being.He had the dark hair and eyes of an Outislander, which we echoed, but his eyes were brown instead of black, and the windblown cheeks above his curly moustache showed his ancestry from Far away, and the complexion should be fairer.He walks with a limp, especially in cold weather.

It is said that he became legendary for subduing a wild boar that tried to kill the horse, but he is not as tall as he used to be.If I keep growing, I might be taller than him within a year.And he was no more muscular now than he had been, but he had a sense of physical and mental solidity that made him feared at Buckkeep not for his size but for his dour temper and tenacity.When I was very young, I asked him if he ever lost.He had just calmed down and was still soothing a young stallion in the stable.Burrich grinned, showing wolf-white teeth, and the sweat from his forehead rained down his cheeks and into his dark beard.Then he spoke to me from across the stable. "Losing?" he gasped. "A fight ain't over until there's a winner, Fitz. Just remember that, no matter what the other opponent or even the other horse thinks."

I can't help but wonder if I'm also a fight he has to win, because he's always said I'm the last mission the knights give him.My father, disgraced by my presence, handed me over to this man, and told him to raise me well, and perhaps Burrich thought he hadn't done his job. "What do you think I should do?" I asked humbly, but it was not easy to say so humbly. "Healing," he said after a moment, "it takes time to heal yourself, it can't be forced." He looked down at himself stretching his legs towards the fire, his lips moved slightly, but it was not a smile .

"Do you think we should go back?" I urged him. He leaned back in his chair, his booted feet crossed at the ankles, and stared into the fire.He spent a long time thinking about how to answer, and finally said reluctantly, "If we don't go back, Regal will think he won, and try to kill Verity, or at least do anything else." I swear to the king, and so are you, Fitz. Now, our king is Shrewd, but Verity is the Crown Prince, and I don't think he has to wait." "He has other soldiers, but they are all better than me." "Will that free you from your commitment?"

"You argue like a priest." "I'm not arguing at all, I'm just asking you one question after another. If you abandon Buckkeep, what are you abandoning?" Now I'm silent.I do miss Shrewd and my oath to him, and I miss Violet's genuine warmth and openness to me.I remember old Chade's slow smile when I was a little enlightened, Lady Patience and her maid Lacey, Federen and Hord, and even Sarah the cook and Master Ji Jingfeng the tailor.Not many people have cared for me, but it also makes these people more important in my heart. Even if I really don't return to Buckkeep, I will miss them deeply.But it was my memory of Molly that jumped into my mind like a rekindled ember.Sometimes, out of nowhere, I would mention her to Burrich, and he would just nod and let me tell the whole story.

When he did, he simply told me that the lemon balm candle shop closed when the old alcoholic died in debt and his daughter was forced to move to relatives in another town.Although he didn't know which town it was, he was convinced that if I was determined enough, I would be able to find this place. "Know your heart before you act," he added. "If you can't give her something, let her go! Are you crippled? If you really think so. But if you decide now You probably don't have the right to go to her when you're crippled. I don't think you need her pity, because it's a poor substitute for love." Then he got up and walked away, staring into the fire in thought.

Am I a cripple?Am I lost?My body was as out of tune as the strings of a harp out of tune.He was right, this time it wasn't Regal's will that succeeded, but my will that overcame everything.My Prince Verity still awaits the throne of the Six Duchies, and the Princess of the Mountains is now his wife.I am afraid of Emperor Zun laughing at my trembling hands?Can I turn around and laugh at him for never being king?My heart was suddenly filled with a frenzied sense of satisfaction.Burrich was right, not only was I not lost, but I was sure to let Regal know that I had won. If I beat Regal, can't I win Molly back?What is holding us back?Is it Ayu?But Burrich heard she left Buckkeep unmarried and penniless to join relatives, so it's abominable that Jade let her just go, and I'll track her down and find her and win her back.Molly with hair fluttering in the wind, Molly in a bright red dress and cape, is as graceful as a red robbing bird, with shining eyes.Thinking of her sent shivers down my spine, and I could only smile to myself, then shiver like a grin.My whole body convulsed, causing the back of my head to bounce off the bed frame.I couldn't help but burst into tears, a wordless wail.

Osmanthus appeared in a few moments, and she called Burrich over, and they held my limbs tight.I passed out again as Burrich used his body weight to suppress my violent shaking. I return from darkness to light like rising from warm water.The deep feather bed cradles me and the soft, warm blankets make me feel safe.For a while, everything around me was so peaceful and peaceful, and I lay silent and felt great. "Fitz?" Burrich said, leaning over me. I return to the real world.I know I'm a wretched mess, like a tangled puppet or a horse with a badly wounded hamstring.I can't go back to the way I used to be, and my old world can't hold me anymore.Burrich has said that pity is a poor substitute for love, and I don't want anyone's pity.

"Burrich." He bent down even lower. "It's not that bad." He was lying, "Rest now, and tomorrow..." "You leave for Buckkeep tomorrow," I said to Burrich. He frowned. "Take your time. Give yourself a few days to recover, and then we..." "No." I sat up slowly and laboriously, and spoke with all my strength. "I've decided. Tomorrow you go back to Buckkeep. People and animals are waiting for you there. They need you. It's your home and your world, but it's not mine any more." He was silent for a while. "Then what are you going to do?"