Chapter 61 Eleven "Self-inflicted, not to live"

The seriousness of the problem is not limited to this. The confession and exposure of Japanese war criminals and the accusations and reports of the people in Northeast China made our "Yi Institute" excited.Especially those young people, the reaction is exceptionally strong.Under such circumstances, I was exposed by my nephew, brother-in-law and Da Li.I was caught up in hatred from all directions, including family hatred.It was as if I was surrounded by mirrors, and I could see my invisible image from various angles. It started with a general meeting in one of our schools.That day we participated in the study meeting of Japanese war criminals, and the staff of the working group called us together and asked everyone to talk about their impressions and understandings.Many people stood up to speak, voluntarily confessing their crimes and denouncing others, the passion they had felt from the Japanese War Criminals Conference was still alive.People reported more concentrated on Zhang Huanxiang, the former Puppet Minister of Justice of Manchukuo.Before the "September 18th" Incident, he served as the education director of the Northeast Lecture Hall, the chief executive of Harbin Special Zone, and the aviation commander of the Northeast Army. After the "September 18th" incident, he ran from Guannei to his hometown in Fushun, tried every means to curry favor with the Japanese, offered advice and suggestions to the rulers, and submitted forty-two items. Zhuo asked to climb up to the position of Minister of Justice.He has many famous actions, one of which is that before he was appointed, he first enshrined the shrine of Emperor Jimmu of Japan at home. Whenever a Japanese came to him, he would kneel in front of the shrine and wait for him.The other is that he once personally supervised migrant workers to build the Shenwu Tianhuang Temple in Fushun, and he and his wife cleaned it every day after it was completed.He was so frightened that his face paled amidst people's complaints.Later, people mentioned the various confrontational actions of others, such as deliberately spoiling the food, disrupting the order in the camp, and often yelling at the guards, etc., which aroused the anger of the audience.Someone warned him that if he was dishonest again in the future, he would be exposed at any time, and the government would not spare him.I am very afraid of being reported on the spot by others like this, and I am very afraid that others will think that I am dishonest.Because of this report and guilty plea, we are not allowed to disclose materials to each other. I am afraid that others will not know that I have made a confession, so I feel that it is necessary to talk about it at the conference and express my attitude.I have therefore also made a statement.After I finished the confession materials, just when I was about to say a few words and express my determination to confess my guilt, Xiaogu suddenly stood up from the crowd and asked me a question:

"You said so much, why didn't you mention that note?" I was stunned. "A note! Xiaorui's note!" Xiaoxiu also got up, "You just said that those jewelry and treasures were handed over automatically, why didn't you say that Xiaorui mobilized them?" "Yes, yes," I said hastily, "I was about to talk about this. It was inspired by Xiao Rui..." I hastily added this matter, but Xiao Gu and Xiao Xiu still looked at each other angrily, as if they were still not reconciled.Fortunately, this conference is over. I went back to the cell and quickly took up a pen and wrote a self-criticism to the prison.I thought that the director would be very angry when he found out, and I couldn't help but blame Xiaorui. Why did he tell Xiaogu and Xiaoxiu about this?Xiao Gu and Xiao Xiu are too ruthless, we are a family after all, if you don't learn from Lao Wan and Lao Run, you can't even compare with Da Li!Not long after, I saw the written report materials written by them, and I realized that the changes in my family were more terrifying than I had estimated.

According to regulations, each report material must be read in person.Interrogator Zhao took the pile of reporting materials and said as usual: "After reading it, you can sign if you agree, and you can file a defense if you disagree." I read some pseudo-ministers first.These are all public materials of the Manchukuo regime, and I signed them all.Then read what my family wrote.After reading a few pages, my palms were sweating. Among Lao Wan's report materials, one article reads: I thought this was ruined!I had put this on Yoshioka's account. Da Li's report surprised me even more.Not only did he write the details of my departure from Tianjin, but he also wrote about the fact that I signed an "offensive and defensive alliance" with him before writing my autobiography.

It's not just that.They revealed very specifics about my past daily behavior—how I treated the Japanese, and how I treated people in my family.If one or two of these things were mentioned separately, it might not be a big deal, but now that they have gathered them together, the situation is different.For example, Lao Wan wrote this passage: Xiaorui's complaint contained the following passage: It was Da Li who wrote with hatred in his tone: After reading the last batch of reporting materials, the previous set of principles for defending myself have been fundamentally shaken. In the past, I saw my behavior as justified.I succumbed to the pressure of the Japanese and obeyed its will because I had no choice but to do it; it was my right to domineering, taking what I gave, beating, scolding, and even torture my family members.In short, it is natural and reasonable for me to submit to the strong and show off to the weak. I believe that everyone in my situation will do that.Now, I understand that no one else is like this except me; my reasoning cannot be taken out.

Speaking of the weak, there is nothing "weaker" than deprived prisoners. However, the Communists in power did not beat, scold, or mistreat these prisoners.Speaking of the strong, the U.S. army with top-notch equipment can be regarded as "strong", but the Communist army, which is far inferior to its equipment, is not afraid of it, and dares to fight it for three years, until it is in a truce The agreement was signed. Just now, I saw new examples.From the complaints and reports of the people, I learned that there are many ordinary people who did not act according to my creed in the face of violent pressure.

There was a farmer named Li Diangui in Bayan County who was oppressed by devils and traitors. He put his hope on the Anti-Japanese Allied Forces.During the Spring Festival of 1941, he sent a bucket of millet, 47 twists, 120 eggs and two packs of cigarettes to the anti-union team.Later, the pseudo-police found out and arrested him. He was hanged, beaten, and electrified all day long, and put the bloodied victims beside him to intimidate him and ask him to give clues to the Anti-Japanese League.This tenacious and unyielding farmer did not reveal any confession about the Anti-Japanese League. He was tortured in prison and persisted until he was recovered and rescued.

Jiang Shufa was the vice president of the Anti-Japanese Salvation Association in Tianzengtun. He delivered meals to the Anti-Japanese Federation and took him across the road.He was electrified and doused with cold water, but he did not give any clues. The secret agents had nothing to do with him, and finally sentenced him to two years in prison. Xiao Zhenfang is also an ordinary farmer, helping his uncle Xiao Kun to deliver food, lead the way to the Anti-Japanese Alliance, and do secret anti-Japanese work.In the middle of the night on April 21, 1943, six bogus policemen broke into his home suddenly, but failed to find his uncle Xiao Kun, and kidnapped him to the police station for questioning.He said, "I don't know!" The policemen beat him to death, poured cold water on him, and beat him again when he woke up. Just use the "sanitation truck" to pull it to the rotten corpse post and throw it there.This tenacious man came back to life in the dead corpse, and was rescued by a worker pulling a sanitation truck.His uncle Xiao Kun was also arrested later, and he was unyielding until his death.The prison he lived in was the place where I lived in Harbin.

In 1943, Li Yinghua from Jinshantun was still a child. He once delivered eggs to the Anti-Union Army passing by, but was denounced by the spies and arrested in the police station.The secret agents lighted cigarettes and poured tea for him first, invited him to eat dumplings, and said: "You are a child, and you are not sensible. If you say so, you will be let go." Li Yinghua smoked, drank tea, ate dumplings, and then said: " I’m a farmer, and I don’t know anything!” The spies hung him upside down and beat him, charged him with electricity, set him on fire, stripped him naked, and smashed him against a nailboard, but they got nothing from the child.

In short, I know that not all people in the world have soft bones.There is no other explanation for what I have done in the past, except that I am bullying and fearing death. I used to have the most fundamental reason to explain why I bullied the weak and feared the hard, greedy for life and afraid of death, that is, my life is the most precious, and I have more value in existence than anyone else.Over the past few years, after doing laundry and pasting paper boxes, I have understood my own value, and today I have seen my own value from the reports of ordinary people and families in Northeast China.

I saw in the screen of the mirror that I was a guilty man, a man without honor, a man who had no reason to justify himself. After I signed the last document, I walked down the corridor, my heart full of remorse and sadness—— "Heaven commits evil, you can still violate it, but if you commit evil yourself, you can't live!"