Chapter 11 Five turns to the end of the world

I remember that many years ago, I liked to read Xi Murong's poems, and there is a song "Evening Song" that I still think of today. "I like the wilderness at dusk, at this time, all the colors are quiet. But the darkness has not yet come, and there is still the last touch of passion in the lush green on the hill.I also like the life of Mu Weimu. At this time, all the stories have been formed.But the ending has not yet come, I look back again with a smile, looking for my heart that once wandered and desolate. " It was not late at night, and I couldn't help falling in love with this word at that time, as if everything in life had drifted away, and everything was not over yet.Looking back, how many scenery do you remember along the way?How many people are left with you who have accompanied you?Sometimes I feel that life is so ironic that forty-four is really ironic. In the end, how many people can patiently listen to you tell those long stories after you have worked so hard all your life?You once loved that person deeply, and then you hurt that person with your own hands.

Lin Huiyin turned around and turned to the end of the world, abandoning her first love and the man she loved deeply in a foreign country. Her leaving without saying goodbye made Xu Zhimo melancholy and difficult to wake up in the misty rain in London.But he didn't even have the courage to blame her, because Xu Zhimo knew why Lin Huiyin left him.All he can do is to end all entanglements at the moment and make himself an innocent person.Xu Zhimo thought that only the innocence deserves Lin Huiyin, who is as elegant as a lotus. He ignored the woman who sometimes seemed tender and kind, and her heart became even more indifferent.In October 1921, Lin Changmin's time to go abroad for inspection expired, and Lin Huiyin resolutely followed his father back to China on the Helen "Bologa".After returning to China, Lin Huiyin continued her studies at Peihua Girls' Middle School.

She still looked so pure and beautiful, no one knew that she was actually wounded and fled.Lin Huiyin didn't choose to leave rashly, it wasn't that she didn't love Xu Zhimo enough, but she understood that she and Xu Zhimo were destined to have no perfect result.She doesn't want to see greater brokenness, and turns around at the most beautiful moment, so that both of them can remember this short but sweet beauty. Just treat it as a dream, and after waking up from the dream, all the kindness will be dissipated.Lin Huiyin is a person who is unwilling to mourn the past. Since she chose to leave quietly, she never thought about turning back, even though she had enough time to consider her marriage when she studied in Peihua Girls' High School after leaving Xu Zhimo and returning to China.She even put Xu Zhimo in the most important position in her life many times, and weighed him with other men. In terms of talent and emotion, Xu Zhimo was undoubtedly better than Liang Sicheng.

But after all, Lin Huiyin is a family of officials and a famous lady in the capital. This new-age woman who has stayed abroad actually still maintains traditional thinking in her bones.How could she marry the married Xu Zhi forty-five, even if Xu Zhimo divorced her and abandoned Zhang Youyi, she was as proud as Lin Huiyin and refused to accept such a result.She can bear it, no matter how much she loves, she can bear it. This is Lin Huiyin, who will always give people clean white.Or maybe she was originally a cowardly woman who didn't have the courage to pay more for love. What she wanted was stability and a lifetime of innocence.

Compared with Lu Xiaoman, is Lin Huiyin too sober or too cowardly?Or maybe, as she herself said, she didn't love Xu Zhimo enough?For the sake of Xu Zhimo, Lu Xiaoman resolutely left her husband Wang Geng, dared to bear the pressure of the world, and wanted to be with him even if thousands of arrows pierced her heart.But Lin Huiyin clearly loved her deeply, but pretended to understate it, and refused to mention it to others.She even said calmly: "What Xu Zhimo loved at the time was not the real me, but the Lin Huiyin he imagined with the poet's romantic emotions, but I am not actually the person he thought in his mind."

Compared with Xu Zhimo, he has a brave commitment to love. He said: "I only have one spring in my life, which is pitiful, and I have never wasted it. It is only one spring, and my life is natural and real. Happy!" People are really different. After two people who love each other are separated, one person tries to erase the traces of the past, while the other wants to cherish the beauty of the past.No one is wrong, it's just that the way of treating life is different.Lin Huiyin is a clear person, she doesn't want to bear the past, she just wants to live peacefully in the present, telling everyone that she is as beautiful as ever, and she will never let herself go wrong.

I would like to become a fallen leaf, Let the wind and rain blow everywhere; Or a floating cloud, in the clear blue sky, Nothing to do with the earth anymore. But hold fast to that sad sign, To touch the despair of being lost; In the evening, in the middle of the night, tiptoeing, All is emptiness, no more tenderness; Forget that there was this world and you; Mourning who was ever in love; Falling like flowers, forgetting to go The emotions in these tears. On that day nothing will remain, Less than a flash, a breath of wind Trace, you have to forget about me have lived in this world.

What a resolute poem, without any involvement, "Forget that there was this world", "With you. You also have to forget me, once lived in this world".In the past, I had many feelings about Lin Huiyin that were wrong.Perhaps in many people's minds, Lin Huiyin is a weak and pure woman who lives poetically with a book every day, even forgetting that she was passionate about construction and how strong she was in supporting her weak body, just to complete the mission of her existence .But this is not the case. Lin Huiyin is actually an unusually quiet woman. When we thought that love would fall into withered petals all over the ground, she could do it without showing any traces.

At that time, Lin Huiyin was not yet 18 years old, so he faced parting so calmly and calmly, which is really admirable.Even if she pretended to be calm, she succeeded, because her departure shattered Xu Zhimo, who was eight years older than her.At a loss, he also wanted to justify his own pain. Forty-seven used poetry to tell others that everything is accidental, meeting by chance, intersecting by chance, and separating by chance. I am a cloud in the sky, Occasionally projected on your wave heart - You don't have to be surprised, let alone rejoice—— It disappeared in an instant. You and I meet on the sea of ​​night,

You have yours, I have mine, direction; you remember better you forget The mutual light at this rendezvous! It's really like, "You have yours, I have mine, direction".The momentary light that once met has dissipated, and what kind of imprints are left in each other's hearts later, no one cares about that much.Xu Zhimo is the first man in Lin Huiyin's life. He gave her all the poetic and romantic imaginations, so Lin Huiyin will treasure him in the purest corner of his heart and never mention it to others easily.Not mentioning it does not mean forgetting. Later, Lin Huiyin and Xu Zhimo kept dating, and they were confidantes as light as water, as if the love in Cambridge had never happened, as if there had never been a real parting.

Looking back, no one has failed the other between Lin Huiyin and Xu Zhimo.They are like two pieces of wet jade, if they are combined, they will be more easily broken.Looking at each other from a distance and appreciating silently is a kind of happiness.Lin Huiyin surpassed emotion with reason, and stood above the world of mortals with an elegant and peaceful posture.So everyone thinks of Lin Huiyin, and thinks she is too clean and beautiful, like a lotus, which I dare not pick; like the wind, ethereal and elusive. And when I read Lin Huiyin's poems, the more I got close to her, the more I felt that my understanding of her in the past was really too shallow.Or maybe everyone has multiple sides, but what is shown to the world is the side that is the most inadvertent.I admire those who can bear it, hide their pain so deeply, and only share their happiness with others. In fact, the sadness in their hearts has already flooded, but they seem to be as if nothing happened, and the years are peaceful. Maybe Lin Huiyin is such a woman. She used to think she was soft and affectionate, but now she tastes a touch of coolness.Just like the pattering spring rain outside the window, it tantalizes the heart, but it also breeds coolness. Whoever said that April is a sunny day in the world, who said that life is full of love and the moon is long and round, maybe we have to taste all the warmth and coldness of the world, so that we can really see the past as clouds and smoke.