Chapter 14 Lost Cap

The world in 2008 has undergone many major changes, with gains and losses.I myself turned eighty this year, and during this period, I also saw my gains and losses: I gained a lot, which is hard to describe in detail, and there were not many losers, but there is one thing that is sad to this day.I lost a hat. Is a hat worth being so sad about?Certainly not worth it, if it's an average hat, or even a high priced name brand.But the one I lost last year, the one I lost unfortunately, was anything but ordinary. I have worn many handsome and airy hats, and I especially like wearing hats after my hair becomes gray and thin.A handsome hat hides shame far more than a wig.Churchill and de Gaulle were both heroes of World War II, but de Gaulle was especially a hero when he wore a tall hat, so de Gaulle was happy to wear a tall hat, so I have never seen de Gaulle not wearing a tall hat.

I don't know whether de Gaulle's Gallic military cap was ever lost.I managed to choose a few handsome hats that fit my head, but none of them stayed for long, and all of them left without saying goodbye.They included two tweed hats, one presumably lost in a restaurant in the north of England and the other in a hotel in Moscow.There is also a third one bought in Butcher Gardens, Victoria Harbor, Canada. It has a red letter on a white background, and it looks like a Gaulle round cap with a lower barrel. end. The things that are most likely to be lost and lost the most in a person's life should be hats and umbrellas.In fact, an umbrella is also a kind of hat. Although it is not worn on the head, it is designed to cover the head after all. The reason why the two are easy to lose is also because the owner wants to go out, so the final farewell to the owner is because they are both external objects. Once you leave your hands and head, the owner will forget about it after turning around a few times.

Hats are related to the Merry image.Dugu Xin went out hunting and returned at dusk. He rode into the city with his hat slightly sideways, and the officials admired him.Thousands of years later, Nalan Xingde's collection of words is also called "Side Hat".Meng Jia Chongjiu ascended the height, and the wind blew his hat off, without realizing it.Huan Wen ordered Sun Sheng to write a composition to ridicule it, and Meng Jia also wrote a composition to answer it, which became a good story and became an allusion of climbing high.Du Fu's Qilu "Nine Days at Lantian Cui's Village" also has the sentence "I'm ashamed to blow my short hair back, and laugh at others as the crown".His "Song of the Eight Immortals in Drinking" even described the madness of the drinkers: "Zhang Xu drank the holy biography three times, took off his hat and exposed his head in front of the prince." Even so, losing his hat has nothing to do with romance, but only with leisure.

In mid-December last year, the library of the Chinese University of Hong Kong held an exhibition of manuscripts for my eighth birthday, and invited me back to Shatin to sign books and give speeches.The scene was quite lively. To use the popular saying in the media, it is the so-called popularity.United College also compiled and printed an exquisite brochure, presenting my eleven years in Hong Kong with pictures and texts, various activities in the academy and the literary world, titled "Hong Kong Lovesickness-Yu Guangzhong's Literary Life", and gave it to the audience on the spot.At the ceremony, Professor Huang Guobin delivered a speech on behalf of the Faculty of Arts. In addition to the hosts, including Dean Feng Guopei of United College, Deputy Curator Pan Mingzhu of the Library, and Director Chen Xionggen of the Chinese Department, the participants also included former colleagues Lu Weiluan, Zhang Shuangqing, Yang Zhongji, etc. Makes me feel warm.Looking at the audience, the former students such as Huang Kunyao, Huang Xiulian, Fan Shanbiao, He Xingfeng, etc. have now become teachers, and each has achieved something, which is gratifying.

Most of the speeches were students, led by middle school teachers.After the lecture, it is necessary to sign the book as usual. In order to make the dragon move faster, the signature must also be accelerated.However, today’s fans are much more demanding than in previous years. Not only do you need to sign books, notebooks, notes, schoolbags, and student ID cards, but you also need to write his name, his girlfriend’s name, or a sentence Words, of course, and dates.Those names are often dictated impromptu by the signer, but Chinese has the most homophones. "What hui? Is it the Hui of Enhui?" "No, it's the wisdom of wisdom." "No, it's the initials of Huijiacao for Enhui." In the chaos of the army, passwords are often shouted indiscriminately.Not only that, one fan is asking for a ticket at the table, but another fan is urging you to look up, stop signing, and aim at one of the many cameras to take a photo with him behind your chair.The smile has not yet been put away, but there is a third hand stretched out between the cracks, asking you to let go of everything and "fight" with him.

At this time, you must pay attention so as not to make mistakes.In your hand, you are suddenly holding your own pen, and suddenly it is handed over by someone else, so you often drop the pen.You want to drink tea, but you can't reach it.You want to undress, but you can't even do it.You have been anxious for a long time, and you should have released the flood long ago, but you are not allowed to retreat quickly.At this time, it is really difficult for you to separate yourself to protect the pen, watch, manuscript, and cup.The host was anxious to get out of the vortex, not knowing whether to pamper or stop the overheated fans.

When I gave a speech at Chinese University at the end of last year, the audience was not very crowded, but it was enough to make me struggle and concentrate.At the end of the song, they rushed to the dinner party and checked the handbags and backpacks.After the meal, I went outdoors and was about to get in the car. It was cold and windy, and I needed to wear a hat, so I hurriedly searched through the bags.Only then did I realize that my hat was missing. Afterwards, several owners went back to the scene and searched in the pick-up car, but there was no trace of the hat.Me and I, the husband and wife are like detectives, working together to think hard, and finally find out when and where the hat is, so the possibility of losing it at a certain place and at a certain time should be ruled out, and so on.When we said goodbye at the airport, I was still worried, and I earnestly told Pan Mingzhu and Fan Shanbiao that if they found them, they must be sent back to Kaohsiung to me.Half a month later, they sent the medals, books, gifts, etc. I had left behind due to "hard to return" to Taiwan.Layers of packages were unwrapped, and the truth was revealed. That poor hat was finally lost.

I would not have made such a fuss just for a hat, no matter how expensive or rare.But that hat was not bought by me, nor was it given by others, but I inherited it as a son of man.It was worn by my father before his death, and later became a relic after his death. I saved and found it, and couldn't bear to give it up, so I persuaded me to wear it.Sure enough, it fits my head perfectly, and the style is chic, and the fur is amiable, so I have been wearing it all the time. The hat is flat wedge-shaped, low at the front and high at the back. It is worn on the head, with an elegant and gentle slope from the back of the head to the forehead.As for the color of the coat, the dome is a light terracotta color, which looks warm and considerate.The surrounding parts are narrow at the front and wide at the back, woven into a fine cross pattern, which is light beige.Wearing it on my head, it is suave and elegant, with the elegance of European celebrities, and has won the favor of female students of the institute more than once.But the universe inside the hat, only I know the temperature and temperature, the colder the weather, especially the wind, the warmer the inside of the hat, as if my father's palm is protecting my head, with the palm facing the forehead.After all, the same warmth once covered my father, and now it has moved to my head, blessing two generations, worthy of being a loyal retainer passed down from father to son.

Looking back on the first half of my life, I am fortunate to have the love of my parents, and I am who I am today.Back then, my father loved me no less than my mother.But when I was young, I was not often by his side. She always cared for and protected me, and even fled in the enemy-occupied areas during the Anti-Japanese War. It was my mother who lived and died.Caring for relatives, hard work, hard work, whatever she can do, which one has she not done for me?On the contrary, my father never beat me in my memory, and he never even spoke harshly to me, so it is by no means a strict father.But the relationship between father and son has never been intimate.When I was young, he often talked to me about the way of sages and sages, and encouraged me to be determined to make meritorious deeds.Amidst the sound of cicadas in the long summer, there were several times when father and son sat together to read: he leaned on the recliner to read "Gang Jian Yi Zhi Lu", and I sat on the small bamboo stool to read.Under the tung oil lamp on a winter night, he enlightened me more times, led me into the world of ancient prose with earnestness, and awakened my soul of Han and Tang.Zhang Liang, Wei Zheng, Tai Shigong, and Han Yu were all introduced to me for the first time.

Later, the father gradually grew old, and the son grew up, busy with his own business.He traveled abroad, or went to Southeast Asia for several long-term business trips, or served as the chairman of the fellow countrymen's association, and devoted himself to the affairs of his hometown and overseas Chinese.Since middle age, he has been suffering from joint disease and foot pain, intermittently. In his later years, he was almost blind due to glaucoma.Twenty-three years ago, I was hired by Sun Yat-sen University and came to Kaohsiung from Hong Kong to settle down.I survived and resolutely sold my former residence in Taipei, and brought my father and her mother to Kaohsiung to settle down.

For many years, my father's illness and daily life were fortunately taken care of by me and accompanied by my mother-in-law.As his only son, I couldn't always take care of my sickness. Thinking of my mother's tearful eyes when she was dying in the intensive care unit of National Taiwan University Hospital 50 years ago, I earnestly said: "Dad, take good care of me." I feel so guilty. .My father and mother had a deep affection, which was the basis of my happiness in the first half of my life.I only remember that they had a big fight once, but they almost never had a small fight.My mother died at the age of fifty-three, and her father, who was ten years older than her, never remarried despite repeated visits from relatives and friends. The loneliness of a widower lasted for thirty-four years, and he died at the age of ninety-seven. The poor old man suffers from blindness and gout alone in his early years, and he can't read newspapers or TV to relieve his worries. He only has an antique radio as his companion.What could he think of in the dim solitude?Except for the dead wife and the vivid or vague past events.Except for the only son, why isn't he always around.And even when she was by her side, she never chatted with him for a long time, let alone shook his hand or hugged his sick body tightly.Not to mention the four lovely granddaughters, they are all grown up, but besides Youshan, whose voice can they hear? The price of longevity is vicissitudes. Therefore, among the relics, there is still the hat he often wears, which is tantamount to inheriting the most important inheritance.My father was still alive, and I didn't love him enough, and I still couldn't fully express my admiration.Presumably he must be deeply regretful, and since he left, I regret even more.Fortunately, there is still such a hat left behind. It is not cold with the stele, and there is still warmth. Let me wear it. The unfinished illusion of father-son relationship has not ended. The illusion relies on this psychic medium, and it can still connect yin and yang. For two generations, the last hat-wearing man will not be completely forgotten for a while.This feeling of sharing the hat with the father, to put it more highly, is gratitude, and to put it more seriously, it is atonement.Unfortunately, even this last point of support has been lost, which is regrettable. When the cold snap comes, the wind blows and I stand in the wind at the end of the year, doubly afraid of the cold.I'm sorry, father.I'm sorry, mother.