Chapter 39 Sanjiu childhood

What is young?There is no regulation in this law.According to the ancient rites, "Zhou Li? Sici" says that children under the age of seven are called young and weak, and "Book of Rites? Qu Li" says that children under the age of ten are called young learners.Indefinitely, there are benefits, that is, you can go your own way.But there must be no reason to restrict. For this reason, I think when I have to rely on the elders in the family, to be honest, it is roughly before finishing elementary school, or move down for a year or two.How to live during this time, or how best to live, is hard to say.One of the reasons is that the conditions of each family are different, and the conditions are different, so it is difficult to uniformly deal with life.The second reason is that during this period of time, young children do not yet have the ability to be independent, saying what should be done is tantamount to asking fish to fly and kites to jump.Therefore, we have to talk about it. First, based on some similarities of Shifeng, it is worth noting that the big guy is worth noting; It doesn't matter if you don't see it.This big guy is worth noting. I think there are two items, "raising" and "learning", which are generally not handled properly; And always less.Let's talk about the popular situation and the reasons why it is considered inappropriate.

Let me talk about raising too thick.It seems that many people feel or see that the raising is too thick and not proper, so there are such sayings as "doting" and "spoiled and spoiled".But the speaker talks, but the walker still does it, why?Many things in the world have a reason.There are naturally reasons for doting; not only, but also a particularly large background.You can ask the ancients to help explain.The ancients said that the great virtue of heaven and earth is life, and they also said that there are three kinds of unfilial piety, and the greatest is to have no descendants.This is human-centered, and everyone who likes it is a precious materialistic reasoning, as if it is both upright and grand.In fact, if we expand from the human standard to "all things and I are one", and look at all living things with wide eyes, we will find that the so-called great virtue of heaven and earth is life, but it is just that we are reluctant to die when we have life.However, it is a pity that it also comes from the heaven and the earth, that there is life and there must be death.In my understanding, breeding is a last resort for individuals who cannot live forever; or in other words, individuals who seek immortality cannot achieve their wishes, so they have to take a step back and use the method of procreation.For the continuation of the race.Looking at it this way, a man and a woman cooperate to have a baby, which is the continuation of one's own life. How can it not be flesh and blood, and heart to heart?Love is also the destiny, irresistible; the problem is how to love to get what you want.That is to say, love has a purpose, so it has to pay attention to methods.What is the purpose?There is no such thing as humbleness, it is to leave the care of the nurturer, enter the society, be able to adapt, live well, or at least be able to live.Here we don't talk about the ability to earn a living, but only about character. What kind of character is cultivated by doting?One is to enjoy as high a price as possible. Food and clothing, if they come from the market, must be of the highest quality, and take the lead everywhere.The second is to only go along, not to go against it, for example, seeing something new, wanting it but not getting it, ranging from crying to rolling around.The third is that if you get used to this, you will definitely think that you are the proud son of heaven, and no one other than yourself is as noble as yourself.The fourth is that he has no patience to learn, because learning comes from need, and of course the proud son of heaven has no need to run around by himself.Obviously, it is difficult to adapt to the society when cultivating such a character, because the society is very complicated, even if there is no adversity everywhere, it cannot be warm everywhere like at home.In this way, it is the result of doting, but it cannot achieve the purpose of love.

Therefore, just for the sake of talking about love, we should also act in the thick way, or simply say, we would rather be thin.The so-called thinness is roughly as follows. No matter how good the family conditions are, if the young children have the impression that they are ordinary people in society, they should live an ordinary life.And it would rather be lower, for two reasons.One is that people should encourage themselves, that is, to look upwards compared to ability, and to look downwards compared to enjoyment; the result of looking upwards is lack of academic knowledge, and the result of looking downwards is satisfaction in enjoyment, which is beneficial to individuals and society .The other is that being lower is also good for health. Take the ability to resist cold as an example. Children are the easiest to adapt to the environment, but because of doting, they will have several layers of fur in winter, and they are prone to colds and dare not be exposed to the wind and rain. .In addition to being less generous, one must adhere to a principle of treatment, never accommodate unreasonable demands, in the hope that the child will gradually understand and become convinced that he only has the freedom to do good things, not the freedom to be disobedient.Some people may say, it's not easy, because if you don't give in, he will cry, adults feel distressed, and children don't back down, so it's hard to handle.In fact, it is very easy to handle.I remember that Russell talked about this issue in "Education for Young Children". He said that young children also love power and are willing to exercise it.The most common way of exercising power is to cry. If you want candy or something, if you don’t want it, just cry.If he gives it as soon as he cries, he feels that he has this power, so he keeps exercising it.The way to deal with it is to turn a blind eye, listen but not hear, and ignore it. This is tantamount to telling him that he does not have this power. If he uses it once or twice but it does not work, he will not use it anymore.According to Russell's idea, every parent should know something about children's psychology.In fact, the requirements can be higher. In addition to children's psychology, they should also understand some common sense about the value of life; in any case, it is too superficial to regard children's happiness only as eating well, dressing well, and being honest.

Besides, there is less learning.When it comes to this issue, I always think of those who have learned a lot and achieved great achievements.Let me first talk about a foreigner, the little Miller who wrote "Logical System", wrote his autobiography, and said that he was four years old. When other children had candy in their pockets, his pockets were Greek grammatical changes. That's it. At the age of fourteen, he had learned all the languages ​​and knowledge he should learn.He has repeatedly stated that he is indeed a talent among the people, and he has achieved success only because his father taught the method well.Besides, two brothers from the Zhou family in Shaoxing, from their own country, entered Sanwei Bookstore to learn how to read, read a lot of miscellaneous things, and became a family.This kind of thing is expanded into the principle of "the strongest learning ability in childhood", which is known to almost everyone; the strange thing is that the fact is that on the one hand, the learning is relaxed, and on the other hand, it is shouted that the burden is too heavy.I don't have much psychological knowledge. According to what I have heard and seen, it seems that the level of learning ability is inversely proportional to the age. That is to say, the younger the age, the stronger the learning ability.Many facts can testify, but only two.One is to learn languages. For young children, one does not attend classes, and the other does not look up dictionaries, but just listens and beeps along with adults. It can be used in a year or so. Compared with learning foreign languages ​​after school, the speed is simply far different.Another thing is the difficult Taoism, such as advanced mathematics, theoretical physics, and Go. It is said that if you can't succeed in your youth, there is little hope for top-notch students.It can be deduced from this that the most active period of the nervous system is in the early years of a person's life, so it should be used wisely.

How to use it?However, the time outside of sleeping should be given more to study and less to play. What to learn can be determined by family conditions and children's interests, or the closeness of sex.For example, between playing electric cars and playing the piano, children may not be interested in the latter.To take a step back, literacy, or learning another language, at first, will not be as interesting as playing electric cars, because you have to work hard.But we must always believe in the wonderful power of habit. We are used to it, and what is strenuous can become effortless, and what is bitter becomes not bitter.If this is possible, there is another temporarily invisible but far-reaching achievement, after adulthood or throughout life, such as between the bookstore and the casino, he will be happy to walk into the bookstore instead of the casino.

There is another question that needs to be analyzed. After attending school, children feel a heavy burden, or people related to education (including those in charge of education and parents) feel that children have a heavy burden. What is going on?My opinion is that the teaching method is inappropriate. Children should be allowed to take the initiative to learn, and there are many restrictions on children's activities, such as several teaching methods, repeated analysis and explanation, cumbersome and useless questions, forced answers, and so on.I remember that my granddaughter liked Chinese when she was in elementary school. Every holiday, she would ask me for the Chinese textbook for the next semester. She would read it first and ask her, and she would finish reading it in a day or two.But after school starts, it is a typical waste to sit there and listen to analysis and explanations during a few classes a week. If the children are allowed to read by themselves during these hours, the most conservative estimate can always be more than ten times more, right?But instead of teaching in this way, instead of just confining the children in the textbook, they also play tricks in the form of questions. For example, after reading an article in classical Chinese, they will ask questions, asking students to point out all the words "Zhi" in an article, each What part of speech does it belong to, what does it mean here, and so on.It was laborious and time consuming, of course, but almost useless.Children have a heavy burden, the main reason is that they cannot gallop on their own initiative, but must circle around in the mechanical frame.But this has been a rule for many years, and it will be very difficult to change it.Let me talk about it here, I hope that some people will be suspicious of the established rules, so try, for example, teach Chinese characters, help children read some miscellaneous things, at most one year, it is not difficult to know three or four thousand commonly used characters, right?However, we have always underestimated children's learning ability, and as a result, children's academic performance is indeed low.At least in my opinion, it is a pity that this is the best opportunity not to be used, just speaking of one person.