Chapter 18 Novella Cousin-2

While I was thinking about it, my mother came down from a wooden boat.How strange, where did she come in such a wooden boat? My mother was wearing a blue cloth double-breasted smock, her gray hair was a little messy, and she was holding a big blue cloth bundle in her hand, like those old women in the countryside who were visiting relatives.I've never seen her in this outfit, it's like a different person. "Jiawei, is your cousin okay?" This is the first sentence she said after meeting.After saying this, she seemed unable to find anything else to say, and looked at the hotel we were staying in with puzzled eyes.I found a lot of mud splashed on her two rubber shoes.

"Mom, I'm stuck here." I told her sadly. "Bah! Nonsense! I'm worried about your cousin, she's so thin, and she's never traveled so far." "Aren't you worried about your son?" "Aren't you fine? You go out every holiday, and we never worry about you. This time, your cousin called me here." There was a kind of pride in my mother's expression when she spoke, probably because my cousin finally took the initiative to contact her.It turned out that in the past ten years, the only thing she cared about was her cousin.This cousin who was born in a thunderstorm and killed her parents unexpectedly has such a great influence on her.In contrast, my biological son is not in her heart at all.

"How did you come here by boat?" "It wasn't your cousin's idea." Mom rolled her eyes, "She asked me to go to her parents' place to hang the grave first, and then come to you." "Where is the grave of my aunt and uncle?" "It's not far from here. Why do you have such an ugly face? Can't stand her tossing?" Mom looked at me understandingly. "Cousin is back here, so she just revealed her true colors?" I asked. She said "hey" twice noncommittally, urging me to take her to find my cousin quickly.I told her that my cousin had a fling with an old chef in the hotel, and that it was difficult to understand.Unexpectedly, my mother was not surprised at all, and said leisurely:

"That man, that's the evil star in her life. I knew they would get together." "You know?" We found our cousin and the others without any trouble.They are eating in the kitchen.My cousin eats very greedily, which is never the case when she is at home.What she ate was a kind of small meat bun, and she almost ate one at a time.Seeing that she likes to eat, the chef excitedly made a big basket and put it on the stove to steam.In front of such delicious food, my mother also became very rude, she reached out to grab it and ate it, her mouth was full of oil, and the oil dripped onto her blouse.

I was also lowering my head to savor slowly, but at the moment when I accidentally looked up, I saw my mother and the chef winking, both of them looked lewd.I yelled, got up and ran outside. My cousin blocked the door, she stared at my face and said word by word: "where are you going?" "I beg for food and get it back!" "Don't be so extreme." Her tone was firm. My feet went limp, and she pulled me back to the table and sat down.Everyone stared at me in amazement, which made me feel embarrassed instead. "Jiawei was an obedient child when he was young." My mother looked at me kindly and said.

"Yeah, I only met him once at that time, and I think he will be promising in the future." The chef's lustful eyes also turned to me kindly. Everyone kindly pushed the plate containing the meat buns towards me, so I ate again aggrieved.The chef's skill is really high, these delicious little buns seem to melt in the mouth.The buns made by him are associated with him. I think this old man with a lewd expression is definitely not a mediocre person.In this case, why can't I always tolerate him?At this time, my cousin leaned close to my ear and said, I should live in peace.My eyes glanced under the table, and I saw the chef's fat, hairy hand resting on my cousin's strong thigh, and I quickly looked away.

After finishing the delicious little meat buns, the chef suddenly showed his old sad look again.He offered to sing a song for everyone.So I heard the song he sang before.Strangely, this time, I felt that the song was full of pornography. Although I couldn't understand it, I could feel the singer's hunger and thirst strongly.Why didn't I feel the erotic content in the song when I listened to him sing?When the chef sang, my cousin hugged his thick waist tightly and pressed her face to his greasy apron, while my mother looked at him adoringly across the table. I come to this hotel every year but never expected this to happen.Think about it, why do I go here every year?Was the original intention just to avoid the crowd?Apparently there were other factors at play that I didn't know about, and that, even if I tried to recall, were hard to figure out.For example, the fact that the burial place of my cousin's parents is nearby, what kind of explanation should I make?Looking at the bewitched appearance of my mother and cousin, I still couldn't help feeling sad in my heart.The windows were open and there was a wind on the sea and the smell of sharks in the wind.I used to regard this place as a paradise, but now it seems that I was completely wrong. Beneath the peace and tranquility on the surface are sinister desires.

"What are Jiawei's plans these days?" Mom asked, she was still stuffing the buns into her mouth. "I want to go home right away." "Nonsense! How can you be so rash!" The cousin let go of the chef, looking very angry. "He's had this problem since he was a child." Mom explained beside him. I stared blankly at the two of them, trying to figure out what kind of relationship these two people had.The cousin seemed to be aware of my efforts, she smiled slightly and completely calmed down. "Jiawei is still very sensible." The chef said.

After he said this, he came to sit beside me, and I saw that he looked shy.He couldn't make up his mind about what he wanted to say to me. After hesitating for a while, he finally said it.It turned out that he wanted me to go "naked swimming" in the sea. He thought I should take off my clothes and feel the sea.But I have no desire to go skinny swimming at all, and I am so afraid of sharks that I don't plan to go into the water at all.So both he and his cousin came to persuade me, eagerly persuading me to try it, saying that after I tried it, I would "eliminate the nihilistic attitude towards life".I was determined not to follow their advice.At last they became discouraged, and they both turned to my mother, as if they wanted her to convince me.Mother was not eager to cooperate with them, but kept repeating a sentence: "Jiawei is very obedient."

After dinner, everyone surrounded me and went back to the previous room.I saw my suitcase neatly packed in the room.It was afternoon and I felt drowsy.I turned my face to my mother and asked: "Which room are you resting in?" Mom looked at me erratically and said: "Shh, don't ask, it's my secret." After she finished speaking, she made another mischievous expression inappropriate for her age, and twisted her buttocks.The three people next to him all watched with admiration.As soon as I got angry, I walked to the bed and fell asleep.It's a pity that I can't sleep well, and I can always hear the voices of the four of them talking in the dimness.It seemed to me that they were worried about my future.Later, for some reason, my mother walked to the other side of the bed and lifted my legs, and the cook came to the other side of the bed and hugged my upper body. The two of them carried me to the window. I tried to struggle, but I couldn’t move.They put me on the floor in front of the window and talked about it endlessly.After an unknown period of time, they seemed to get tired of this kind of discussion, so all four of them stood up and filed out of the room silently.

It was the next morning when I woke up.I was woken up by my mother's crying. I immediately got up from the floor and stuck my head out the window.I saw my mother wailing bitterly towards the sea.The cousin stood beside her mother indifferently, blocking the sunlight on her face with one hand, as if she was waiting for someone.When my mother had cried enough, my cousin would help her, and the two walked east along the coast with their heads down.They went on and on, my eyes escorting them, until at last their figures became a dot and disappeared around the bend of the shoreline.I suddenly felt that these two people who had not been in touch with each other for many years had actually been together in their hearts.Over the years, I have been running to this beach again and again, and my mother never asked me on the surface, and she was "very relieved" as she said.But what is the truth?The mother who came to the beach showed a personality that I had never seen before, and it was probably her nature, and she had been putting on a show for decades.I still don't understand why Mom cries, and if she's been so uncomfortable with Dad and us for decades, why has she never shown a sign of it?In my impression, my mother is a very mediocre woman, but occasionally she likes to say a few inappropriate words, as if she is trying to put on a gesture.Now it seems that she has amazing energy in her body, and she can do anything.The way she flirts with the old cook is also eye-opening, like she's competing with her cousin to see who's more nasty.So why cry?Still can't find the answer. The cousin who was born in a thunderstorm was so appreciated by her mother!The thunder and lightning in the south are always dull, sinister and violent, and they take a long time to brew, and they will never let it go until the outbreak is complete.When I thought of this, I heard a slight noise behind me, it was the cook who slipped in quietly.Uncharacteristically, the chef made a flattering expression towards me, sat on the edge of the bed with only half of his buttocks shyly, and secretly looked at me with his eyes.He has something to say to me. "A person like your mother is more difficult to deal with than your cousin," he said after a long time of self-consciousness. "You're here to tell me this." I glared at him angrily. "Where is that, by the way. Actually, I am the slave of these two. Do you remember the day you first came to this beach? You must have thought you made up your mind to come here Did you come here? You little brat, of course you never imagined that this is exactly what your mother planned." He seemed to feel presumptuous for saying these words right away, and asked me to go downstairs to try a kind of "three delicacies" buns he made. "Sometimes, we also use mouse meat to make buns. There are too many mice in the kitchen." He said as he went downstairs. "Is today's bun stuffing also mouse meat?" "You clever ghost." I don't think I'm smart at all, I think I'm a big fool.Maybe he was mocking me. The "San Xian" steamed stuffed bun was exactly the same as the last time I ate it. I felt a little uncomfortable when I thought I had eaten so many mice, but I still couldn't stand the temptation of delicious food.So I ate five more buns without knowing it.The chef smiled with satisfaction and praised me as "well done". Suddenly I lowered my head and saw a pool of filth on the ground. The chef explained that he had caught a cold yesterday and vomited here, and he didn't have time to clean it up.My eyes froze when I saw a rat's tail poking there in the filth.Looking at it, I remembered the way my mother devoured the buns, and the greedy look of my cousin's mouth.The chef whispered in my ear, "I can't count the number of rats I've eaten." I said to the chef that I want to leave here, the chef thought for a while and answered me: "Let's wait for your mother to decide. How sad she would be if you left her to go back alone. I knew your mother when I was young. At that time, the sea was very muddy, and dead sharks floated up in groups. Then It's a hard life. If it weren't for your mother, people like me wouldn't be on the right track." I couldn't help laughing when I heard him say the word "righteous way" in a serious manner.When he saw me laughing, he laughed too. We walked out of the kitchen laughing and down the long stairs, and the chef led me into the dark basement.It was a huge room, lit only by a small fluorescent lamp, which was so close to the ceiling that it barely illuminated anything.I sat with him in the dark against the wall, and he asked me to put my ear against the wall, saying that in this way I could hear the sound of the bottom of the sea.But when I do this, I hear nothing.I think the chef is probably playing tricks on me.There was a cold, rough hand on my stomach and down to my genitals.I jumped up.The chef sneered in the dark, and I was about to fly into a rage. "Dirty pig!" I roared and rushed to the door. The cook was right behind me, still trying to convince me, that his sticky voice kept drilling into my ears, and I couldn't escape it. "Why are you so nervous? Let's relax physically and mentally! No one will see you in this place!" It was only when I was out of breath that I noticed the length of the stairs.Maybe this basement actually leads to the bottom of the sea?What ever happened in such a place?I didn't dare to think about it anymore, because the pervert behind me kept poking my ass with his fingers, and he was obviously not willing to stop.However, I finally couldn't climb anymore. Could it be that this staircase has no end?Just when I was about to get discouraged, a small patch of blue sky appeared above.How is this going?I obviously went down from the hotel to the basement, why did the exit of the stairs turn into the open air?I poked my head out and found myself on the shining sand.The exit of the stairs is concealed by the side of a rock, making it difficult to be noticed. As soon as he came out of the basement, the chef had a gloomy face and walked towards the seaside without looking at me.He quickly left me behind, got into a small wooden boat, hoisted his gray sails, and sailed out to sea, and in a moment his boat was gone.I climbed that rock, and I picked up a nice handbag on top of the rock.When I opened the bag, it was full of nude photos of my cousin.She had that lustful light in her eyes, and she had the shape of a Persian cat.One photo was taken horizontally, and there was a blurry figure in the background, who seemed to be my mother.Mother stood beside a stake in her smock, which had an unreal feel to it.On the screen, the cousin stretches her muscular body and spreads her legs provocatively, revealing her dark brown pussy with clear pubic hair.I looked at nude photos of my cousin, neither feeling impulsive nor aesthetically aroused, just curious.It turns out that my cousin looks like this. Her body is much larger than what I usually see from the outside of the clothes. It can be said that she is a bit fat.Is this her?Could it be a double that was placed below her face when developing the photos?The wind carried my mother's voice, and she was walking towards me with her cousin.I quickly put the photo away, left the bag where it was, and jumped off the rock. I heard my cousin say: "Jiawei, the little devil, has grown up." It wasn't until the two of them approached that I could clearly see that they were both disheveled, their clothes were torn, and their hair was disheveled, as if they were fighting somewhere. "What happened?" I asked. "A tragic thing happened, we were attacked by a gang of satyrs," replied the cousin. She stroked her messy hair, recalling what happened just now, the expression on her face was not only not miserable, but also relished.Mom nodded appreciatively at her words, while rubbing her bruised cheekbones. I couldn't help thinking, if they were attacked by perverts every day, they would be elated! My mother probably saw my thoughts and said immediately: "Jiawei, don't let your imagination run wild, okay? I just arrived here, so of course I have to visit everywhere." At this time, my cousin's eyes shot at the top of the rock behind me, and I remembered what my cousin said, "Jiawei has grown up", and my face turned red all of a sudden.My cousin gave me a push, pointed to the stairs leading to the basement by the rock, and asked me to go down first.I asked her what she was doing in that dark place, and she smiled and said: "In a dark place where we can't see each other, maybe some good things will happen." The three of us walked down the long and narrow stairs.About halfway through the walk, I heard a hollow beating sound coming from the basement, like someone breaking a concrete wall with a hammer.I remembered that the cook had gone to sea, so who was in the basement? "He's a snob," the cousin's dull voice sounded in the corridor, "he belongs to the type who can't get enough of his desires. He killed his wife and hid in this kind of place to be a porter, but he was still ready to kill. We It's over if he hits the head like this." As we approached the basement, we heard the man drop the hammer on the ground, and then there was no sound.The three of them groped their way into the room. I reached out, grabbed my mother's stick-like fingers, and stood next to her. "Have you all come yet?" The old man who kept the message asked loudly in the opposite corner. No one answered, and he didn't stand up to show up. The two sides faced each other silently. After a while he was in unbearable pain, and the groans from his mouth sounded to me like a fire burning him.Mom's fingernails dug so deep into the flesh of my palm that I almost cried out.The strange thing is that the cousin is also moaning, why are they all in so much pain?I didn't feel any pain when I came here with the cook before, and he played that nasty trick on me. "Child Jiawei shouldn't come here, it's useless." Mom said. "He's not a kid anymore," retorted my cousin. "A child is always in the eyes of a mother." "That's because you have a mental block." They talked nonsense back and forth in the dark.Suddenly, the conveyed figure rushed towards us like a huge black bird. While we were dodging in a panic, he fell to the ground, and the iron hammer also hit the concrete floor with a chilling sound. "He's going to kill again." The cousin's voice seemed very happy. I couldn't help crying out: "How dare you mess with such a madman!" "What madman? What nonsense! Who are you?" My cousin scolded me. Someone came running down the stairs, yelling and stomping like a merry boy.He is my cousin's boyfriend.He brought the light, white and harsh, from the emergency light he held aloft.Just by the light, I saw that the old man had already sat up, sitting on the ground as if nothing had happened, playing with his genitals.His trousers door was wide open, and his genitals stuck out like a bird, looking very lively.The cousin's boyfriend moved the emergency light towards him, and he got angry, and he buttoned up his trousers and asked loudly: "Why are you looking at me? Why are you looking at me? Huh?" The cousin's boyfriend stuck out his tongue and turned off the emergency light with a "snap". Mom let go of the hand that was holding me, and she seemed to be moving to the old man's position.I also wanted to follow, but my cousin's boyfriend blocked me and asked me in a low voice repeatedly: "What do you want to do? What do you want to do?" I had no choice but to give up my attempt.Then came the sound of mother and old man kissing in the dark, mixed with the enthusiastic moaning of the cousin, the three must have twisted into a pile.Now I don't want to go to see it at all, I want to leave the basement, but my cousin's boyfriend won't let me leave.As long as I moved my body, he would ask me: "What do you want?" He was also very strong, and he only needed to stretch out one arm to pin me to the wall. I wanted to break free from him, but he didn't relax at all, and asked me stubbornly: "What do you want to do?" I didn't want to do anything, but he just believed that I had a trick in my heart, as if for this, he was responsible limit my freedom.His big, pincer-like hands took my breath away.Suddenly, I recalled my cousin's evaluation of him when I was young. I have only now learned what kind of oppressive violence this person can have on others. "Do you also have a habit of killing people?" I asked panting. "Stop rambling, you don't want to live anymore!" He grinned grinningly and tightened his grip on my chest again. Before I noticed, my mother, cousin, and delivery had slipped out of the basement.Now I can't think of anything else but breathing hard.I can't figure out why this guy is pinning me to the wall, and I haven't offended him.When I struggled again, my eyes went dark, and I couldn't even see the fluorescent light.At this time, a strange and long sound sounded in my ears, like the whistle of a ship whistling from afar.He seemed to be taken aback, relaxed me a little, and said in a low voice: "It's the whales that are crying, and their companions are in trouble, these giants." As he spoke, he started to sob, let go of me completely, and squatted down covering his face with his hands.I quickly left him and walked towards the stairs. I didn't want to be restricted by him anymore, and his sorrow had nothing to do with me. I went back to my hotel room, packed my suitcases and was ready to hit the road.I secretly decided that I must go back desperately this time, and never come here again from now on.Having made up my mind, I went to the window to take a last look at the familiar seashore.What I saw made my legs tremble.All five of them, naked, were being led by ropes and driven like cattle by men in customs uniform, and were boarding a large wooden sailing ship.I saw them flirt and fight with each other even in this way, as if they had no sense of the humiliating condition of losing their liberty.The fishermen who were watching were spitting at them and throwing stones, and the noise reached my ears.When they got on the boat, they stood at the bow and showed their bodies to those people.The chef seems to be particularly defiant, holding the erect genitals with both hands, and admiring himself with his head down.Mom and cousin stood facing the wind with their hips crossed, looking like female pirates.The uniformed men with ropes in their hands were excited, watching their every move greedily.With a sharp whistle, the wooden sailboat started.At first the boat traveled along the coastline for a while, then suddenly turned around and headed for the deep sea, the speed was shockingly fast.After a while the boat was gone. I left the window and planned to go out with the suitcase. "Jiawei, Jiawei, you are such an ungrateful villain!" A dark-skinned dwarf shouted as he opened the door and walked in. I had never seen this man before, he looked like a local fisherman, and his new suit looked awkward on him.I have a vague feeling that his appearance has some resemblance with the cook and the conveyer, but I can't tell where the similarity is.My eyes fell on his polished leather shoes, which were too big for his body.When I was wondering how a person could grow such big feet, the short kicked my box over with a kick.It seems that his strength is also very great, the box is like a toy under his feet, and it was actually cracked by his kick. "Don't act rashly." He warned me. "I want to go home." I sat on the edge of the bed, unable to say these words. "Who won't let you go back? The feet are on your body. You don't let you go back by yourself, don't you? Speaking of myself, our ancestors have been fishing in this seaside for generations. When the storm comes, we have to It's up to fate. That's why we've developed a knack for dozing off in the wind and waves. You know, it's okay to be asleep forever." When he said "It's okay to fall asleep forever", two lumps of flesh bulged out on his face, looking cruel.Maybe he's threatening me.He walked around the room with his hands behind his back and said: "Go home? Isn't this your home? Put down your box!!" he roared. The box in my hand fell to the ground with a "bang". "Where mother is is home, you don't even understand that?" His tone softened. "Let me tell you a story. It's about fishermen. At that time, the sea was very fierce, and the boats were often swallowed up. The population of the village was decreasing day by day. One night, I walked along the road in front of the village. Walking along the path, I saw glowing skeletons lined up neatly on both sides of the road, and the two bands of light went all the way to the sea. I bent down to check one of the skeletons, and something strange happened. I saw It turned out that I was dead. But I was still wandering on the road. I tried to figure it out, but I haven't figured it out until today. Every time I want to leave this place, I remember myself Dead. If you did leave, you'd forget the fact. Look at your mother, and your cousin, how honest they are. Such women are lovely." The dwarf showed a bored expression on his face, closed his mouth and fell silent.I thought, maybe he came to watch me specially, if I run away again, it will look quite boring. He sat down on the chair against the wall and stared down at his big feet.I sighed in my heart again: how big these feet are!His body, wrapped in a tight suit, must be of special material, because he himself said that he died a long time ago.Did he die while fishing? The dullness of the room oppressed me, and I longed to get out again.If I don't take the box and go out empty-handed, he won't stop me.As soon as I had this idea, he stretched out a leg on the bed, blocking my way.I had no choice but to back away and sit on the bed.In front of this tough man, I almost became a baby. I was very unconvinced, but there was nothing I could do.I saw him frowning deep in thought, the lump on his face motionless.I feel like I really don't know anything about him, about everything here. Since I had nothing to do, I simply undressed and went to bed.The dwarf didn't come to stop me, he just sat there thinking about his thoughts.I looked at the ceiling, counted the numbers, and finally fell into a daze.Later, there was an iron ball that was always pressing on my chest.When I struggled to wake up, I found that it was a hairy man's big foot, and the short man got under my bed.But I was so sleepy that I couldn't even raise my hands, and I fell into a daze again.That foot stinks so badly that I can smell it as soon as I wake up, but somehow the stench makes me drowsy.I feel like I've been asleep for a long time and I still don't want to wake up.A few times I seemed to open my eyes, but didn't wake up.Although I was not awake, I could still hear the shorty talking on the other side of the bed. It seemed that he had been telling stories about his fishing village. His words were full of shark attacks, shipwrecks, shipwrecks, etc. Wait.Slowly, the stench I smelled in my sleep became more and more familiar. It reminded me of a stinky fish I ate when I was a child. The more you want to eat, the endless aftertaste.In the dimness, I actually hugged that foot and took a bite. As a result, he kicked me on the head violently. I passed out from the pain, and then woke up again. The dwarf was gone, and his stench was still in the bed, and now it seemed to come from me again.In order to confirm, I went to the bathroom to take a shower, changed clothes and came out.Sure enough, it still stinks.But this situation does not make me depressed, I seem to be a little excited, a little eager to try.Although I don't know exactly what I want to do, this feeling alone is extremely fresh. My suitcase is against the wall, and now I feel less inclined to leave.It's not my ideal to go back to a place where I've been hanging out for decades, where nothing happens. The years have aged me.Besides, even my cousin can devote herself to the adventure of the moment, why can't I try it?What a shame.In all fairness, when the sea wind blows the naked mother and cousin's hair, isn't the image of them standing side by side on the bow of the boat with their hips akimbo, isn't it a rare and beautiful picture?In my memory now, the thick rope that tied them all was no longer a shame, but an ornament to set off their demeanor.For so many years, I have not seen the ability of my cousin and mother at all, which also shows my stupidity. I came to the front hall of the hotel and saw my mother and cousin walking and talking, and came back as if nothing had happened.When they looked up and saw me, both of them looked surprised and stopped. "Didn't Jiawei go fishing? Why are you here?" Mom scolded me. "Who said I went to sea?" "That's what Old Hu told me! Old Hu is that black dwarf." "Perhaps he meant that I went to sea in a dream." My cousin glanced at me and said coldly: "I see." But I don't understand what she understands, I just feel that both of them disapprove of my behavior and think that I am a burden.It is true when I think about it, what am I doing when they are actively planning some actions and actually carrying out their plans?I don't understand them at all, and it's shameful to obstruct their actions. "Then you go back." After saying this, my cousin ignored me, turned to my mother and said, "Since he was a child, he has not been interested in mountain climbing. He only likes to skip rope in the yard." She and my mother left me, and the two walked upstairs together. Maybe I really should go back, go back to the company to go to work, go back to my own home and face my father and younger brother silently.I said to myself, "Why don't I go mountain climbing?" Then a big man came up from the hall and told me my taxi had arrived.I couldn't help but follow him outside, and he opened the car door and asked me to get in. He drove the car very fast.I saw the forest alley again.Under almost every big tree there is a blond couple dancing, music rippling in the air. A quarter of an hour later, I found out that the car I was in didn't go to the train station. It made a small circle around the city and returned to the seaside. In front of the pier there, a freighter was slowly entering the port. When I opened the car door, I saw my white-haired father walking towards me from the pier. He held my arm, sobbed with tears and said: "Jiawei, Jiawei, I really don't want to live anymore." "Is it because of my mother?" I couldn't help feeling compassionate. "Your mother and I are united, but we can't resist. You won't believe it. Yesterday on the deck, a seagull knocked me down. I was dying." He moved closer to me, grabbed my arm with both hands, and let me drag him.He also babbled as he walked: "Your mother is such a miserable woman. Why are we so weak? Even your younger brother was infected with cholera a few days ago. What do you think about this kind of thing? I can't walk at all. You carry me on your back, I am your old father." I don't want to carry him at all, I want him to sit down on the spot, and I stand beside him.But he was angry again. "Let the old father sit on the ground! There is such a cruel son! Ah, I am dying." He just fell to the ground, his withered, long body stretched out.He didn't look at me anymore, he turned his eyes to the sky and muttered to himself, as if he didn't plan to get up for a while. I thought, where did this strange passion come from in my father, who has always been indifferent?When he was at home, he never said a word to his family members, he was high above, and he turned a blind eye to everything.To be honest, I didn't even get a good look at his appearance.I'm not used to his intimacy, and besides, he smells bad due to the long journey, so why should I carry him on my back. He lay on the ground and couldn't get up, so I had to wait beside him.I saw two cloudy tears hanging on his sagging eyelids, and his fists were clenched tightly.I was afraid to think, he should not really die, right?When I thought about it, I squatted down. My father opened his eyes, propped himself up, and climbed onto my back.His movements are so skilled, it seems that he often asks me to carry him on his back.His body was very heavy, I gritted my teeth and stood up, feeling that what was on my back was not a person, but a mass of iron.His skeleton is obviously thin and long, how could it be so heavy?I've heard that there is a kind of person who gets heavier as he gets older. Could it be that kind of person? I walked a dozen steps with all my strength, but I couldn't hold on any longer, so I wanted to unload him.But he hugged me tightly and refused to come down no matter what.I had no choice but to fall to the ground with him.Fortunately, on the beach, there will be no injuries. He let go of me and wailed deeply: "Ah, this kind of son, what do you want him to do!" Because there was someone next to me, I was so ashamed by him that I didn't dare to lift my head. An old fisherman with a white beard came over from among the passers-by. He squatted down, lifted his father's long body on his shoulders, and walked forward briskly.Father's upper body hung from the old fisherman's shoulders, he turned his head and saw me, and shook his fist at me. Embarrassed, I turned around and walked in the opposite direction. "Where are you going? I can see everything is the same." The taxi driver stopped me with a thermos in his hand.I looked down and saw one of his feet was bandaged. "Are you hurt?" I asked. "This foot is my weak point. Every time I want to take risks, it comes to hinder me. I can't do much in my life, unlike your cousin. The other day, I jumped into the sea from a cliff and broke my foot. this foot." I took a closer look, only to find that the bandage was stained dark red with blood. "Although I can't do great things, I can't give up, don't you think? So I always jump into the sea several times a year. Of course, it can't be compared with your cousin." When the big man said this, the expression on his face was pitiful.Suddenly he heard something, he waved and limped towards his taxi.The fishermen made way for him silently and looked at him enviously.His car drove east. 白胡子的老渔民又出现在路人里头了，他拨开那些人来到我身边，拍拍我的肩头，指着海对我说： "我们世世代代都同这海在一起，每个人身上都有很多的伤，真是一言难尽啊。我看你行事很狂妄，你身上有伤吗？当然没有，不看就知道了。你的父亲以前可是个渔民。" "我身上一点伤都没有。"我喃喃地对他说。 "这就对了嘛！"他一拍大腿叫了起来，"你早就应该像这么坦诚。刚才我背你父亲的时候，摸到他背上一条一条的疤痕，那是同我出海时遇到鲨鱼留下的。从那回起我同你父亲就成了生死之交。现在他心满意足地躺在我家里，正在用金枪鱼下酒吃呢！怎么样啊，跟我去吗？" 白胡子的家就在我住的旅馆的后面，那是一栋丑陋的房子，房顶的一些处所连瓦都没有了，就盖着油布，上面压着砖头。前门小而矮，要稍稍弯下腰进去。一进屋，一股很浓很浓的腥味扑面而来。在挂着黑黄的麻布帐子的大床上，父亲平躺着，口里正在嚼着什么东西。令我吃了一惊的是，不光父亲一人躺在那里，还有母亲，表姐也在床上。她俩也在嚼东西。父亲不时得意洋洋地将目光射向我，我看见他枕头边的手绢上放着一种我没见过的棕色圆豆，他们就是在吃这个。白胡子解释说那种东西叫"鱼豆"，吃起来很腥，这里的渔民个个爱吃。 我情不自禁地伸手去抓那豆子，但父亲挡开了我的手，"嘿嘿"地干笑了一阵，然后坐起身，仔细用手巾包好豆子。 "想不劳而获呀。"他怪腔怪调地说。 接着妈妈也坐起来了，妈妈的眼睑浮肿得很厉害，也许那是放荡的后果。 "家伟啊，你这样钻来钻去的，你找什么东西啊？"她发愁地说，"你住在那边旅馆里头，不是什么都有了吗？你看我们，还得挤在这种地方。" 妈妈这样一说，父亲就责备地瞪着我，他好像要发怒的样子。表姐也坐起来了，她正就着窗前的光线翻阅一本画册，我瞟一眼就知道了那是什么画册，那上面的性交图真是千奇百怪。 白胡子老头对我说，我的家已经搬到这里来了，家里的房子也卖掉了，我的爸爸妈妈打算在他家安度晚年，表姐也要陪着他们。他还说，我的住处是对面的旅馆，因为他家里挤不下这么多人。 "可是住旅馆是要交钱的啊。"我说。 "那当然。"他朝我挤了挤眼说，"这就看你的灵活性了。其实那旅馆什么人都能住，你表姐的男朋友就一直住在那里，也没交过钱。" "您在说我吗？可不许您说我啊！"表姐嚷嚷道。 妈妈亲昵地将表姐揽到怀里，两人嘻嘻地笑了起来。妈妈指着白胡子说道："他，是我们家的世交啊。" 既然我的住处是旅馆，我就站起来打算回旅馆。我出了门，绕过这座破房子到了旅馆的后门。我从后门进去就直接上楼了。走到第三层时才记起，我的箱子和钱全部扔在出租车里头了。于是我就没有继续上楼，而是在三楼靠西头的一个单人客房推门进去了。我觉得自己已经灵活多了。 进到房里，这才发现这个房间已被人用过。被子没有铺好，卫生间里也很凌乱。其实这倒让我安心，我不打算换房间了，我先睡下再说。我躺下刚要睡，就有人打电话进来了。那人在电话里祝贺我搬进了新居。我说这并不是我的什么"新居"，只不过是个旅馆房间。接着他就生气了，指责我是"脚踩两只船"。我挂了电话，那电话又响起来，还是那个人，他希望我听他把话说完。我等他说，他却沉默了。最后他要我别忘了两点钟到厨房去"赴宴"。我不知道现在几点了，我看了看外面渐渐暗下来的天色，觉得已是下午五点多了。莫非他要我半夜去厨房？我怎么一点都不觉得饿呢？ 我睡了一大觉，最后又被持续不断的电话铃声吵醒。还是那个人，要我下楼去，因为"大家都在等你。" 胡乱洗漱了一下，我心事重重地下楼了。 他们果然都在厨房里：父亲、母亲、表姐、表姐的男友、厨师和传达老头，还有那个黑皮肤的矮子也在。桌上热气腾腾地放了很多盘菜和小吃，一根大红粗蜡烛插在中间。他们大家正在相互敬酒，一个个都显得满怀感激之情，那黑皮矮子居然不知羞耻地当众哭起来。看见了我之后，每个人都显得有点窘，于是收起情绪，有点呆板地坐在那里。 厨师给了我一盘油炸的小动物，我看着有点像青蛙，但又猛然记起这是老鼠。大家都不想理我，只有厨师对我很亲切。我吃了几只美味的老鼠之后，他又劝我尝尝他的说不出名目的小吃。他一边关照我还一边轻轻地征求意见，问我愿不愿意听他唱山歌。我使劲点了点头，他就不管不顾地大声唱了起来。他的声音如泣如诉，充满了情欲，也充满了悲哀。窗外的暗夜也使得歌声更为动人。他唱到中间时，每个人都哭起来了，并随之哽咽着加入合唱。后来我也哭了，我一张嘴，无师自通地也加入了合唱，而且唱得特别动情。我不知道歌词是什么，我"嗯嗯啊啊"地唱着，心里头那无法解开的思乡情结便一阵阵松动，通体说不出的感动。 到山歌唱完，妈妈和表姐拥抱着，已哭成了泪人儿。 不知是谁说了一句"天亮了"，这三个字尤其显得伤感，于是大家又啜泣起来。 天并没有亮，外面黑糊糊的。他们都喝醉了，大家搀扶着，吼着山歌出了厨房。不知怎么的，我们这一群人并没有上楼去客房，却钻进了地下室工人住的房间。房间里很臭，床位摆得很拥挤。他们什么都觉察不到，胡乱倒在那些铁床上就睡着了。我没有睡意，也不愿在这里呆，我就信步走了出去。 在旅馆外面的庭院里，白胡子老头朝我走了过来，他手里的应急灯一闪一闪的。 "家伟，你已经习惯这里的生活了吧？" "可能永远也适应不了。" "那你还能怎样呢？" 他高举那盏应急灯，我看见在那束白色的光线里，一条金环蛇蠕动着缓缓前行。我和老头跟了上去，每走十几米，那条蛇就回过头来招呼我们。不知不觉，我们就到了海边，这时它往礁石里头一窜就不见了。 海静静的，真是个好天。 "海啊，海啊。"老头喃喃地说。 我已经打定了主意要同表姐，同每个人呆在这里。现在且先回旅馆，等太阳升起的时候再到这里来下海。多么奇怪啊，我连一次海都还没下过呢。我这样想的时候，海就在我旁边发出了喃喃低语。原来海是在同白胡子老头对话，海微微地扭动身体，很像是在调情。白胡子老头急切地小声说话，已经把我忘记了。这时应急灯里的电池已经用完，一闪一闪地即将泯灭。在黑暗里，海的声音慢慢变得凶暴起来，但海面还是那么平静。他越来越激动，我看见他走进海里去了，海马上吞没了他。海吞没了他之后就不再说话了。 我没有回旅馆，我也没有看到日出，因为我躺在沙子上头睡着了。我醒来之际，四周亮晃晃的，我感到自己的身体里头起了变化，一种陌生的欲望在里头跃动着，与此同时，头脑也变得无比地澄清。 2002.1