Chapter 5 Chapter 2 Walking and Singing-1

The most beautiful love in the world is nothing but a deceit under the perfect acting skills of the two. I started jotting down some words for you again. Because, I want to forget you so much. In fact, a lot of similar things have been written, but I just lied to myself, the memory is something that becomes clearer the more you read it.A man of few words like me cannot tell everything to others, and I have to admit that I appreciate the opportunity to address you in the second person, even though it will never be shown to you. Finally one day I found that looking at the photos of you and my past girlfriend can already make me smile.Although still very reluctant.

In the photo, you are very close together, the girl's permed braids are obediently tied into a small bun, your foreheads are clean, and your big eyes reflect the neon lights on the street.Vaguely has the appearance of the past. When I saw it for the first time, my nose was sore, it was unreasonable and shameless. Because seeing you beside her is smiling faintly.I haven't seen you smile for a long, long time. You are a handsome boy.I remember that when we were in high school together, I always told people that my brother was a good-looking boy.Later, I wondered if it was because you were so good-looking that my girlfriend left me almost without hesitation to accept your hug.

There are many people who think I'm handsome, but not as many as you.The boring game we used to do in the past was to count the greeting cards each received at Christmas, and count the gifts each received on birthdays, and then compare the two. Coincidentally, every year, I will have one greeting card and two gifts less than you. Although I was never angry, I never saw this as winning or losing. Now, I should have three greeting cards and four gifts less than you every year.The girl who used to pester me every day and smiled at me sweetly transferred her feelings for me to you. Shouldn't this be a win or loss?

It was so lonely when I thought about it, and I knew it wasn't all because of her departure. I'm getting more and more used to playing alone, and suddenly it's very silent.You should remember that I was always yelling and cursing when I was playing, which caused the captain's anger and completely kicked me out of the basketball team. The afternoon sun was dazzling, I put all my things in my cross-body bag, and slowly walked out of everyone's sight with the sneakers I just changed.I was thinking about whether my image is very sad and not as tragic as I hoped, when I heard your deep voice behind me.

Captain, I won't play anymore, I don't want to stay in the team without him. We didn't touch basketball for a month.I don't want to touch it, but you are with me not to touch it. And then we went back to the court, and when there were a lot of people, you wore a bright orange jacket and I wore a purple jumper, dunking like crazy.Don't wear that stupid but professional-looking uniform, don't worry about cooperating with the team, you say you have a good time.It's just a performance, vindictively attracting the attention of all onlookers, I know you must be as bored as I am.

At that time, you pretended to be strong and indifferent with good intentions. At that time, you would accompany me to comfort me no matter what. The warmth you have now can no longer be found on your face. Where did it all go. It's a matter of course that you left me because of your girlfriend's problem.It's just that you, the person who betrayed friendship, and her, the person who betrayed love, didn't look sad. Everyone just saw my sullenness. And, just sullenly.The two closest people in my life left me at the same time, or abandoned me, as if I should be furious and punish you two on the spot.

But, I didn't. Already very tired.I have no strength.This sympathetic situation fell upon me, and with all my might I could but lift it up rather than remove it. What's more, I think you will feel sad in your heart, even if you feel sad occasionally.Why bother to punish. Both of you were once the people I cared about the most. Someone once made fun of the two of us, saying we were like a couple.Eat together, play together, study together, and do many things together like little girls in close friends, inseparable. Until I met her, she timidly pulled the corner of my clothes and said that I couldn't reach the book of my classmate, please help me.At that time, the girl's eyes were pure and transparent, and her forehead was as smooth and clean as it is now. She was a child who could be held in my heart.So when I saw her in the photo with her hair permed into big waves, I thought it was beautiful, but strange.

No wonder, she is yours now.I should have been a little stranger. Thinking back to that time, the three of us rarely hung out together.I always concentrate on coaxing her well, and then go out and have fun with you.Thinking about it now, there were still very few opportunities for you to meet each other back then.I don't know how those limited few times can make you love her so deeply, so deep that you are willing to snatch her from me. The stubborn expression you avoided my eyes for the first time made my heart cool.Don't you feel any guilt at all? We went to different cities in college, and she went to England, but even if she was not around, she still insisted on your relationship.Then I wondered if I was wrong.Two people who can love each other so well, have been separated by me for a long time and still get a bad name.

It must be me who made the mistake. I remember filling out the volunteers at that time, you deliberately filled in all the volunteers in different cities from mine.You can still remember clearly the way you filled out your application while holding a pen on the table.Still a pretty face.The corners of his mouth were pursed downward, as if he was finally a little sad. In fact, I won't blame you too much, it's just that you want to avoid me. But still don't want to believe it.Said that you don't want to stay without me. I went back to my alma mater during the holidays and took a basketball.Walk around while shooting.

Now I can't even dunk, I feel like I can't jump that high.It's because I haven't exercised for a long time.Always being alone in college, shooting from the corner of the court, it didn't take long to become boring. Going to visit the former head teacher and other teachers, I still feel very cordial. Walking on campus, there are even little girls who will point and say, hey, this is not... It suddenly occurred to me that people in the school used to regard us as influential figures, and they always referred to us together. Now I am the only one returning to the original place to remember and miss, and your company has become a luxury.

The empty sound of the ball hitting the ground resounded in this familiar campus.We leaned on this staircase corner and talked for a long time.In this biscuit shop, we used to buy biscuits together and then ate them face to face.On this rooftop, we always come to have a hair dryer together after evening self-study.Walking to the court where we used to play regularly, shooting, thinking of you always resting with your hands on your knees after jumping up and throwing the ball to the ground.After quitting the basketball team, you always wear faded plain blue jeans, which are not too tight.The picture of you wearing bright clothes and jeans, slightly bowed and panting has never been erased from my mind, and I have never seen a similar picture since. I found that boys can remember boys so deeply and clearly. Distressed. When did it happen, when the girl sat in front of me with a face full of mistakes, held my hand with slender fingers and said, I found that you are more suitable for her than me. Probably March.The second half of the third year of high school.Because I remember her hands were still cold, and she was wearing a thin red sweater.Thin stature, shoulders a little trembling.I panicked and wanted to hug her for the last time, but after thinking about it for a long time, I finally just shook her shoulder lightly, saying that the child can do whatever you want, and be good.Take my big hand out of her fingers very firmly, it's dark, so I can look very strong and unfeeling. Just realized you were there that day while reading your blog.Hiding on street corners where I couldn't see, it didn't even look like she could stand up and have a word with me. In fact, you haven't said a word to me since that night. Whether I'm sad or happy.Whether you are sad or happy. In this way, I began to live without any connection, except that I could see you during the class reunion. But you can only look at it from a distance.Seize the opportunity not to bump into your eyes and watch silently, looking at you who are becoming more and more heroic, and I who are becoming more and more silent gradually form a sharp contrast.He doesn't even bother to shave his beard, doesn't bother to talk, and doesn't even bother to make friends.I believe you will not like it after reading it. You still have such a clean face, you took off the bright-colored clothes you used to wear when you were showing off with me, and you wore a white thin-striped shirt very straight. The youthful appearance of going back in time reminds me of my high school years. You are always tied to my past, But unrelentingly deeply affects my present. my brother. In fact, the direct reason for writing this today is to see that you have opened Qzone. When I opened it, I was a little dazed. Not because of words or photos.Those photos and sweet words of yours that other people think I will be greatly stimulated after seeing them, I have watched them countless times in other places. but music. The background song is called "Clownfish", I didn't mean to tell you that you can listen to it.It was a good song that was very common in my mind.Until one day you told me that this song literally sang from your heart. At that time, I was still laughing at you for being like this. If you fell in love with a married woman, I would go and grab it for you. I swim around you, I dare not make a sound I can't close my eyes watching him kiss you That piece of sea is about to take me farther and farther away From now on your unhappiness is so far away who listens to your complaint I lost so much that I buried my face deep in the water But still want to play this scene well I tried my best not to feel and imagine the meaning contained in the lyrics, but when I heard this melody that I had been avoiding since then, it was embarrassing for a moment and my heart hurt for a long time.This is the first time in how long I feel that you still have traces of me in your life. The last text message you sent me was after the graduation party.You say, don't blame me.Later, I speculated based on your personality, and felt that you must have deleted my number after that message, and then put the phone back into your trouser pocket with familiar movements, because your jeans are a little tight, and you should bow slightly I shook my body. hehe.do not blame you.real.