Chapter 8 photo

Ms. Shi has been in China for 28 years.The past twenty-eight years seem to be very erratic and vague, but also seem to be heavy and clear.Her hometown--New England--in her mind, is just a bunch of mechanical overlapping images, tunnels, skyscrapers, pigeon cage-like houses, and a woman wiping her nose in the mirror in the tram, so she can touch it again and again. More disgust.Going back to China on vacation every six years is a pain and a tragedy for her.The old ones are withering again and again, and the new members of relatives and friends' families are added again and again. Newborn children, newly married nephews, nieces, and their partners brought with them behave so frivolously and talk like that. Mowgli.What embarrasses Ms. Shi the most is that these young people do not have the slightest respect or compassion for their elders who have returned home every six years after serving overseas.

They just perfunctory, just ignore, even ridicule, disgust.At this time, Ms. Shi only had in her heart the hometown of the Land of Sunrise, where there was an ancient city, a remote alley in the ancient city, and a small house in the alley.Outside the gate is the majestic city wall of Canggu. There are several large willow trees at the gate. Inside the gate is a small courtyard with several lilacs and a rose frame. Behind the rose frame is a porch. Behind the porch are several small rooms with wall stoves. There are bookshelves, antiques, calligraphy and paintings... What makes all these vivid, warm and sweet, and full of the atmosphere of "home" is that in this house, there is a quiet and chaste lady who has been with me for ten years. chastity.

When Ms. Shi first arrived in China, she was only twenty-five years old, and the seasons were late summer and early autumn.The weather in early autumn in northern China is full of sunshine and electricity, making people joyful, fluttering, and exciting.At this time, Ms. Shi often wore a rose-colored dress, light yellow hair, and a slightly blushing oval face, often with an angelic, sad smile.Her job is to teach piano and song in a church girls' school, and she lives in a small building at the east corner of the campus.That small building was full of female teachers from Western countries, and Ms. Shi was the youngest, gentlest, and most beautiful among them, and she once aroused the admiration of all the students in the school.The emotions of middle school students are always shy, hidden, and sincere.Especially female students, they never dared or expressed their admiration and love for gentlemen in words or words.Ms. Shi lives downstairs, and often at night, when she is writing home letters or correcting papers, she will vaguely see someone dodging outside the window, peeping at her bowed posture.Sometimes the leaves of the ivy on the wall would rustle, as the thin white arms were scrambling, and she even heard a slight sigh.Ms. Shi only raised her head slightly, smiled sadly, used the pen to brush away the hair on her forehead, and hurriedly lowered her head to do her work.

Not only inside the school, but also outside the school there are many people who admire Ms. Shi.In the minds of many students, Pastor Bi is undoubtedly Ms. Shi's future husband.He is so young, with a straight body and an affectionate smile on his lips.When I come down from the pulpit every Sunday, I must carry the Bible and stand by the piano, waiting for Ms. Shi to go out together.On the steps of the small building, there is often the back of Pastor Bi sitting and standing.Three years later, Pastor Bi returned to China for his period. When he came back from overseas, he was already accompanied by a young and lively pastor's wife.The phantoms of the students gradually disappeared, and Ms. Shi's rose-colored dress and the back of Pastor Bi were no longer hidden among the red flowers and green leaves of the campus.Time is like a string of camels, with heavy footsteps, slowly dragging past, Ms. Shi's light-blond hair gradually turned gray.In the small building, several young and lively female teachers came one after another, becoming the objects of worship and love of the students.Ms. Shi has moved to a small alley outside the school, where she keeps a puppy and grows some flowers. An antique, came back and put it on the desk, on the wall fireplace, looking at it, admiring it, showing off to visiting students and friends.Sitting under the flowers in spring and guarding the fireplace in winter nights, I feel like a pool of stagnant water, quiet, narrow, and hopeless, as if this life is over like this.

Shuzhen, like a willow flower, floats into her emotional garden in the summer of a year.Shuzhen's father, Mr. Wang, was a scholar in the former Qing Dynasty. He once worked as a clerk in a certain yamen. It's Ms. Shi.Ms. Shi thinks that Mr. Wang is more refined and noble than other Mandarin-speaking gentlemen.Except for lectures, Mr. Wang seldom said any irrelevant entertainment. When receiving Shuxiu's envelope, he always looked shy and unnatural, as if extremely helpless.In the seasons of the year, Mr. Wang sometimes gave her fan bags embroidered by Mrs. Wang herself. The poems embroidered on them were poems made by Mrs. Wang herself.It was only after talking that Ms. Shi knew that Mrs. Wang was also a lady from a famous family, and they had only one daughter under their knees.

One winter fifteen years ago, Mr. Wang asked for a ten-day leave. When he came back after ten days, Mr. Wang looked extremely sad, and his face seemed to have aged a lot.Speaking of the reason for the leave, it was within ten days that Mrs. Wang passed away from lung disease and had already been buried. The three-year-old daughter Shuzhen was temporarily fostered at her grandmother's house. Since then, Mr. Wang seems to have become more silent and melancholy, like a ghost, and his voice is as soft as the autumn wind blowing through dead leaves.Ms. Shi felt very worried and felt pity for him. She often tried to cheer up Mr. Wang from the conversation, but Mr. Wang was still very depressed and could only return a polite and sad smile.One summer ten years ago, Mr. Wang also died of sudden heatstroke.

After hearing the news of Mr. Wang's sudden illness from Mr. Wang's neighbors, Ms. Shi immediately followed the visitor to the Wang's house. This was the first time she entered the Wang's house. Travel through the gap.There are several pots of oleander around the fish tank.There are several stalks of bamboo under the wall, and several clumps of wild jasmine bloom under the bamboo.After entering the north room, the bamboo curtain was opened and there was no sound. This room seemed to be a study room. The wall shelves were full of books, and a few calligraphy and paintings were sparsely hung. On the west door, there was a cloth curtain. Ms. Shi followed Someone came in gently, and saw Mr. Wang's body at a glance. He was lying on the kang, covered with a sheet and quilt, and his face was covered with a white paper. On the edge of the kang was an old lady with white hair, wearing white linen long His eyes were red and swollen, and when he saw Ms. Shi, he stood up.After being introduced by someone, Ms. Shi met Mrs. Wang's mother-in-law, Mrs. Huang. Mrs. Huang picked up a sobbing little girl lying on the bed of the kang, and said, "This is Shuzhen." The pale, willow flower-like little daughter, in the first meeting, set off the pure and miserable environment and state of mind, which aroused Ms. Shi's infinite love and sympathy.

Mr. Wang has nothing but books, calligraphy and paintings, and Ms. Shi has prepared all funeral affairs.After burying Mr. Wang, Ms. Shi gave Mrs. Huang some money for Shuzhen's living expenses and tuition. Mrs. Huang would definitely not accept it, and only said that she would talk about it when it was too difficult.After two or three months, Ms. Shi was worried and asked a few people. They all said that there were many children in the Huang family, and Shuzhen had not received much thoughtful care. So on Christmas Eve, Ms. Shi took Shuzhen to the hospital. Come to your own home. The light of the faint moon outside the window is lightly covered with snow.It was past midnight, and the students who sang Christmas carols had not yet arrived.The few red candles standing by the window were almost burnt out, and tears of waiting were poured down.In the twilight of the fire, Shuzhen sat silently beside Ms. Shi's chair, her timid pale face was not tired at all, her two big eyes like black pearls were embedded in her thin face, making her look even bigger and mysterious. And bleak.

Ms. Shi gently held Shuzhen's little hand that was neither flinching nor enthusiastic, trying to get her to talk, but she didn't know where to start.When everything was blurred in the dim light, she felt that what she was holding in her hand was not a lively little girl, but a poem by Mr. Wang, a thread of embroidery by Mrs. Wang, and a piece of virgin stone in the east. , an indescribable mysterious silence in ancient China... For ten years, Shuzhen by Ms. Shi's side is like a flat stream, so calm that no trace of flow can be seen, no sound of flow can be heard, and no breath of flow can be smelled.Shuzhen was still very thin and pale, and she didn't see her crying bitterly, let alone carnival.She always smiled shyly, answered questions slightly, and moved quietly.In school, she was the first good student, and she was praised by teachers and friends, but she didn't have a bosom friend, and she didn't like what little girls loved.

"This is the crystallization of Mr. Wang's nobility and Mrs. Wang's chastity!" Ms. Shi often thinks this way, such a personality cannot be found in the noisy daughters of the West.She is quiet, not indifferent, serene, not lonely. Whenever Ms. Shi is a little sick, Shuzhen's squirrels in front of her bed are sweet, silent, and considerate.No matter when I opened my eyes at that time, I saw a gentle smiling face on the side of the bed, lifted from the book. "This angel's consolation!" Ms. Shi always wanted to express her warm love, but looking at the pale and shy He Gu's face, with a feeling of shame, she suppressed the warm words she wanted to say.

In the second year of Shuzhen's arrival, Mrs. Huang died. Ms. Shi took her to see her and sent her to the funeral. Since then, Shuzhen has never left home except to go to school and chapel.During the Ching Ming Festival, Ms. Shi also took her to visit the graves of Mr. Wang and Mrs. Wang, and put flowers on them. Both of them shed tears.On the way home, Ms. Shi held Shuzhen's hand tightly, feeling that they were the most deformed people in the world, and a warm and tender maternal love poured out on Shuzhen unconsciously.From then on, I didn't travel very often, my friendships with friends became weaker, and I became less enthusiastic about collecting antiques.Only a willow flower in Shuzhen followed her like a cloud shadow, and Ms. Shi felt extremely comforted and satisfied in her heart.Sometimes I also think what if Shuzhen gets married? ... This is a lifelong event for a girl, imagining that Shuzhen is holding a cute baby Yuxue in her hands, is it not the most beautiful, cleanest and sweetest picture; There is an inexplicable horror! ... "What if Shuzhen gets married?" A sense of loneliness came coldly from all sides. Ms. Shi stroked the white hair on her forehead, shivered, and quickly waved away this ominous thought with a sad and forced smile. Everyone praised Ms. Shi's upbringing of Shuzhen. After ten years of conditioning under Ms. Shi's hands, Shuzhen had never had the slightest western flavor.Needless to say, the western clothes were never worn, and Ms. Shi never spoke a word of English to Shuzhen except in front of friends who did not understand Chinese.Occasionally, a boy from middle school would come to the house for a tea party, and Shuzhen would just sit shyly and silently beside Ms. Shi, not joining their games and chatting, and would occasionally get up to pass candies, only lowering her eyebrows, Softly.The joyful gatherings of the young people are nothing but restraint and uneasiness to Shuzhen.This aroused Ms. Shi's pity even more, so she was not forced to deal with the man easily.Occasionally, some Chinese old ladies mentioned that Shuzhen should have a husband’s family, or some boys directly expressed their love for Shuzhen to Ms. Shi, but Ms. Shi always smiled proudly and politely declined. . Shuzhen graduated from middle school at the age of eighteen, and this year was Ms. Shi's menstrual holiday when she returned to China. Once before, she sent Shuzhen to a friend's house and went back alone. This time, Ms. Shi decided to take Shuzhen back. One is to ask Shuzhen to see the world, and the other is to reduce her loneliness; when she talks to Shuzhen, unexpectedly, Shuzhen's pale face glows, and she says: "Mom! As long as I follow you, I will I am willing to go anywhere!" Ms. Shi lovingly caressed Shuzhen's arm and said, "Thank you! I think you must like to see the place where I grew up. If you really like America, maybe I will send you to America the University……" In a town in New England, Shuzhen and Ms. Shi lived together again.Surrounding the old house is a large green meadow and many old oak trees.At that time, it was the end of summer and the beginning of autumn, the oak leaves were bright red, and there was a slight damp smell under the tree. This house was the old house of Ms. Shi's father, Pastor Shi, with a large wooden bed and a high-backed Chairs, thick carpets, tall bookshelves, full of books, and the smell of pipes still seems to be left in the study room.The aisle is so tall that it seems to echo, and the walls on both sides are hung with pictures of Bible stories in golden frames.There are dark curtains hanging on the windows, and before dusk in the house, there will be gloomy shadows around.Ms. Shi led Shuzhen to look around; the red velvet soft chair in front of the fireplace in the study room was the place where Pastor Shi read and studied the Bible every night; a small walnut desk in the corner of the living room was where Mrs. There is a small room on the east side of the upper floor where Ms. Shi writes letters and accounts. On the wall are a few photos of Ms. Shi's childhood; The dormitory at that time... This old house was originally lived by Mr. Jacob and his wife. This spring, Mr. Jacob also passed away. Mrs. Jacob and her son moved to a new small house nearby. This old house used to be Wanting to betray, Ms. Shi wrote back, asking her to keep it, saying that she was going to take Shuzhen with her, and spend another year in the motherland to relive the last time of old dreams. There are not many visitors in this old house. Apart from going to the chapel with Ms. Shi, Shuzhen only reads at home, plays the piano, and does some work, and doesn't go out often.Sometimes Ms. Shi went out to give a lecture on China in the church assembly, and Shuzhen always followed her, and after the lecture, someone always came to shake hands with Ms. Shi and Shuzhen.When asked various questions about China, Shuzhen only answered a few words shyly and vaguely. Her quiet attitude aroused the love and sympathy of many people.Therefore, some old ladies sometimes come to talk to Shuzhen and give her some trivial things for daily use. Every Sunday dinner, Mrs. James and her son Peter always come to the old house for a party.Mrs. Jacob was a thin woman, tall, wrinkled, but heavily powdered. She talked incessantly, which often bored Ms. Shi.Peter is a red-haired boy, twenty-two years old, and in Shuzhen's eyes, he is still very childish.There is never a moment of silence when you enter the door.When we met for the first time, I called Shuzhen by name, and said: "You are my aunt's Chinese daughter, we should be good friends!" As she said that, she burst into a silly smile, and seeing Shuzhen's embarrassed look, Ms. Slightly smiled and said: "Peter, please be quiet, don't scare my little daughter!" At the same time, she said to Shuzhen, "This is a way for us Americans to show our intimacy. We never call our close friends 'Mr.'" Miss, you can just call him Peter." Shuzhen blushed and smiled. Shuzhen's silence made Peter feel bored. Every Sunday after dinner, he always took the opportunity to leave first, and then Ms. Shi and Mrs. Jacob chatted old talk intermittently.Shuzhen was tired of listening, and sometimes she stood up and leaned against the window to look out, the blue-eyed and yellow-haired pedestrians were walking under the street lamp, and the evening wind brought erratic words from a foreign land, and she felt confused in her heart, with an indescribable sense of sadness... One night, when Mrs. Jacob was leaving, she suddenly smiled and said to Shuzhen, "You will have a chance to speak Chinese next week. I found out that there is a Pastor Li in the seminary here, and his son Tian Tin, studying theology there. I have made an appointment with them for dinner next week night. I hope this pleases you." Shuzhen looked up at Ms. Shi, and Ms. Shi said, "I am in the seminary I also saw them a few times in the library. Pastor Li is really a kind old man, and Tianxi is also extremely quiet and stable. I think we should entertain them often so as not to make them feel lonely in a foreign country." Shuzhen agreed. This week evening, Ms. Shi and Shuzhen prepared a table of Chinese food, set up the spoons and chopsticks, and lit red candles. Ms. Shi went to change into Chinese clothes and put on a jade bracelet. Go and open the door, so that Pastor Li and his son can hear the accent when they first come in.Shuzhen smiled and agreed, feeling happy in her heart. The doorbell rang, and Shuzhen seemed to have a little heartbeat. When she hurriedly stood up and went out, it was Peter who rushed in, followed by Mrs. Jacob, a middle-aged man with pale, pale black hair.Peter grabbed Shuzhen and said, "This is Pastor Li, see you!" Then he pulled a young man from behind Pastor Li and said, "This is Mr. Li Tianxi, this is Miss Wang, our Shuzhen." Pastor Li shook hands with Shuzhen with a smile on his face, and said again and again: "My fellow countryman, my fellow countryman, what a coincidence that we meet here!" Tianxi only silently bowed, Ms. Shi also came out to follow, and everyone entered the guest room. The meeting was very lively. Pastor Li and Ms. Shi talked very affectionately about the situation of evangelism at home and abroad, and Mrs. Jacob also enthusiastically participated in the discussion.The ribs on Peter's chopsticks were always rolling all over the table, unable to catch his mouth, and he couldn't stop laughing and shouting.Shuzhen gave him guidance with a smile.Tianxi ate in silence, and when people asked questions, he only answered a few words, but his voice was very clear and his attitude was gentle and serene.Mrs. Jacob smiled and said to Pastor Li, "I really admire your Chinese education. You can see that Tianxi and Shuzhen are so quiet, generous, and not restless like our children. Look at Peter! "Peter was holding a fried meat ball, tremblingly about to send it to his mouth. When he raised his head, the chopsticks loosened, and the meat ball slipped away again. Peter laughed loudly, and everyone laughed along with him for a while. Sitting loosely after dinner, drinking coffee, Shuzhen and Tianxi still sat silently, listening to the conversation of the three middle-aged men.Peter sat for a while, then yawned, stood up and said, "Mom, if you continue talking, I'm leaving, I have class tomorrow!" Mrs. Jacob smiled back and said, "Are you in a hurry Now, you won't be sleepy after listening to a play or watching a movie, and you won't necessarily sleep when you go back now!" While talking, she also stood up.Tianxi leaned forward, put his hands on the side of the chair, looked at Pastor Li, and said, "Father, should we go too?" Where are the books about religion in my father's collection!" Peter also smiled, picked up his hat, and said, "Don't ask me to disrupt your conversation, just sit down for a while." He stepped forward to support Mrs. Jacob , Shake hands and say goodbye to everyone. Ms. Shi saw off their mother and son, turned around and came back, stopped at the door of the guest room, nodded and smiled and said to Pastor Li, "Come with me to the study, almost all of my father's books are there. ——Shuzhen, you I also entertain Tianxi, now they are all abroad, don’t try to abide by the old Chinese rules, everyone is silent!” Pastor Li walked out with a smile, Shuzhen and Tianxi bowed. The two turned and sat facing each other.Because of Tianxi's silence and restraint, Shuzhen was no longer shy, and asked when Tianxi would come to America?Where do you live?Under the faint light, he stared at the boy in this foreign hometown: a head of black hair, neatly pulled back without oil, a broad forehead, a straight nose, and divine and long eyes. The small mouth, the corners of the lips are upturned, with a bit of girlish charm.Dressed in blue woolen clothes, black tie, and black shoes, he set off a pale yellow glowing face, making the room suddenly full of oriental atmosphere. Tianxi smiled and asked: "Miss Wang has been here for a while, do you often go out to play?" Shuzhen let out a slight breath, lowered her head, and said, "No, I don't go out often, except to church I don’t know why, but the people here seem to be different from those Americans in China, and I panicked when I saw them..." Shuzhen was wondering how she could say so much to this strange boy. talk. Tianxi was silent for a while, then said, "Maybe this is due to the different personalities of Chinese and foreign people. I also think so. As for me, sometimes I am not happy to go to the chapel!" Shuzhen raised her head and asked, "I don't think there is any need to go to the chapel." Tell me, why are you..." and thinking to himself, "This pastor's son..." Tianxi stood up suddenly, lingered under the lamp, and after a while, came and stood beside Shuzhen's chair, standing too close, Shuzhen suddenly felt a little shy.Tianxi put his hands in his trouser pockets, stared at Shuzhen with glowing eyes, and said, "Miss Wang, don't blame me for being shallow, I knew you were just like me within five minutes after I entered the door... Same, I always feel lonely here, but I never even told my father." Shuzhen raised her head and looked at it calmly. Tianxi continued: "My grandfather was a Jinshi. He was very poor in his later years. He made a living by teaching and reading. Later, he taught some foreigners and helped them compile Chinese dictionaries. My father joined the church because he met his foreign friends. Theology, I was baptized into the church, I am also a product of a church school, but I have read many old books with my grandfather since I was a child, and I love learning about art. Last year, the church sent my father here to study theology, and gave me a considerable allowance, asking me to attend lectures in theology.I myself wanted to learn some art lessons, but due to limited conditions, I could only seek friends and read books by myself outside of class. —Of course they want me to be a pastor too, but I don't like this life in a cassock and a pulpit!In fact, it is not a bright road to express the perfect love, the magic of nature, and the guidance of art, but... people don't think so! "Go to the chapel and give some small speeches. Afterwards, as usual, people will gather around, trying to ask all kinds of questions about the 4,000-year-old country from my 20 years of small experience. This always makes me breathless and makes me panic. More What makes me uncomfortable is that some people always think that before Christianity came to China, there was no culture. I am really flattered that they call me a "model Chinese youth" in theology. Some educators who returned from China, in After giving speeches to raise funds for schools, they often ask me to come to the stage and introduce me to the congregation, as if to say, "This is the Chinese youth we have educated, look!" This is not like a monkey artist, introducing what they have practiced Is the monkey the same as the audience? I dare say, if I had the slightest merit, I would never have been trained by such people!" Shuzhen's shrinking completely disappeared, and she only felt a tall halo standing in front of the chair, this shadow was so big that it enveloped her soul, and she couldn't breathe.Seeing the overexcited Tianxi with reddened cheeks and torch-like eyes, tears suddenly flowed in his own eyes. Are these tears sympathy?Is it pity?Is it homesickness?I can't say it myself.In order not to let the tears fall, Shuzhen still looked up with a forced smile. Tianxi breathed a sigh of relief, and said, "Really, sometimes there are meetings in the church to welcome those who go to China to preach. It’s like being exiled and exiled, exiled to a barren and miasmatic land!...Foreign preaching is a sacrifice, and I admit it, but foreigners in China are much more comfortable than Chinese in foreign countries, at least in terms of material things, don’t you think? " Shuzhen nodded, then smiled slightly, straightened her clothes, stood up, and said softly: "That's true, but from my point of view, people's intentions are always good, and some things are also true. We feel that we are weak people in a foreign land, and we are discouraged and timid at first, and sometimes even have abnormal aversion to others' kindness. If we can calm down, accept these stimuli silently, and bring them back to our home country, maybe we can be able to do so. Encourage us to do something so that young people in the future can become mentally sound people because of the glorious motherland in international contacts... What do you think?" Tianxi sat down, took out a handkerchief from his breast pocket, and wiped the sweat on his forehead. The redness on his face gradually receded, and his eyes returned to tranquility and gentleness. He pulled the chair forward and sat down. He said quietly, "I'm sorry, Ms. Wang, I didn't expect to say these excited childish words when I saw you for the first time! All in all, I am lonely, and I miss my grandfather's hometown. See you tonight , I seem to feel that there is a statue of "China" that is active in front of me. I only pour out my worries to the incarnation of China, which may unintentionally disturb the peace in your heart. I hope you can forgive me. Me." The young man blushed again when he said this, and stopped talking. Shuzhen couldn't help but blushed, she lowered her head and rubbed the pattern on the chair, and said, "Even I said too much tonight. Really, since my father died, I always feel that no one can understand in silence. I...tonight...maybe I heard the local accent in a foreign country...I..." Shuzhen couldn't continue speaking, so she stopped gently. — There was a long silence in the room. When Shuzhen raised her head, Tianxi's face became more serene, the excitement just now had no trace left, and she said with a smile, "I think we should use this foreign time to travel and study,— ——I have always admired the liveliness and bravery of Westerners. They can enjoy themselves and seek pleasure. They have a healthy life in groups. I rarely see American youths who are as melancholy and sentimental as we are. I have studied in art colleges and In the seminary, I also know many young people from various countries, including young ladies. We all get along well. Every Saturday afternoon, they often gather together for research and discussion, or for hiking trips. I sometimes join in and find it very interesting. Wang Miss, you should also join their group to liven up your secrets. My father often goes with us too, and I think Ms. Shi will definitely agree." Shuzhen's eyes showed gratitude and joy, and she quickly said, "Thank you for your invitation. I want to enter university next year, and I also want to have some contact with young people here before I leave home, so as not to suddenly join their group. Feeling uncomfortable." Tianxi asked, "Which university do you want to enter?" Shuzhen said, "It's not sure yet. Ms. Shi may or may not go back to China next year. I haven't heard her mention these days, and I haven't asked. If she goes back Well, I think of course I will follow, but...now...I still want to go to university here..." The door opened, and Ms. Shi came in first, followed by Pastor Li with a few thick books in his arms.Ms. Shi smiled and said to Tianxi, "We were checking the books and talking, and we forgot the time. Didn't you wait in a hurry?" We talked so enthusiastically that we almost forgot the time." Pastor Li picked up his hat and said, "Now we really should go! Ms. Shi, thank you for interrupting your evening. Thank you for your meal and your book. There are still opportunities to meet." Ms. Shi also smiled and shook hands with their father and son, saying, "You just come here often, Shuzhen is also very bored here, it is good to have a fellow villager to talk to!" Shuzhen stood Aside, blushing and smiling.Tianxi took a few books from his father, followed behind his father, bowed and walked out together, and Ms. Shi and Shuzhen were sent to the door. Ms. Shi and Shuzhen were packing the tea sets in the living room, and Ms. Shi yawned slightly and said, "Don't you think Pastor Li and his son are very lovely people? Tianxi is really a Chinese gentleman, he is not frivolous at all, do you have a good conversation with him? " Shuzhen was holding up the tea tray, looked up at Ms. Shi, hesitated a little, blushed again, and only gave a soft promise, then walked out with her head down holding the tea tray. It was the beginning of spring, and Ms. Shi and Shuzhen had been in the United States for another half a year.In the past six months, nothing in the old house has changed, except that Pastor Li and his son and Mrs. Jacob and his mother often visit each other, and once or twice the six of them will join the youth group's picnic.In addition, Shuzhen seems to have reached the stage of puberty, Ms. Shi thought, her muscles have become much plumper, her cheeks have become rosy, and the most visible thing is the flowing light in her deep and big eyes, and she can speak and smile freely. Although Pastor Li and his son sometimes still guard the reservedness of Chinese girls, but with Peter, they often talk and laugh.Ms. Shi felt a strange comfort in her heart.Shuzhen in the past was too silent, young people should be lively,... the lively soul is put into Shuzhen's slim body, which makes Shuzhen strangely moving! ... What if... Ms. Shi stopped thinking about it, put her hand on her forehead, stood up repentantly, and stared blankly at Can Xue outside the window. The weather in my hometown seems not to be suitable for her recent body, and Ms. Shi often feels uncomfortable when she comes to spring.The heavy snow in the winter, under the sunshine in early spring, is a damp smell that turns up together with the tender green, and the heavy curtain seems to hang down even more.Ms. Shi sat lazily on the bed, listening to Shuzhen wiping the furniture in the corridor downstairs, moving briskly, singing slightly; and listening to the sound of the postman ringing the bell and Shuzhen opening the door.After a while, Shuzhen walked in lightly holding the breakfast plate, and while carrying the little table, put it on the bed, while helping Ms. Shi, she sat down, and fluffed up the pillow for her, smiling. Picking up an envelope from the plate, she said, "Look, mom, this is a photo we took when we went out for a picnic last time,... One of them was taken by Mr. Li when I was not paying attention, look how stupid I look! "Speaking, he moved the tableware to the low table, turned around and went out with an empty plate. Ms. Shi lazily picked up the photos and looked at them. There were eight photos in total, including Mrs. Jacob and her son, Pastor Li and his son, Shuzhen with them, and many people from the youth group. Zhang, Ms. Shi suddenly froze! The background is a big oak tree, the old trunk is covered with broken buds, and the green grass is below. Shuzhen is leaning over, opening a picnic box, with her sleeves rolled up, looking up suddenly, with a full face Shy, full of smiles, surprise smiles, affectionate smiles, flowing eyes, neat white teeth, this smile is something Ms. Shi has never seen in ten years! After a slight trembling, Ms. Shi suddenly felt a nameless strong emotion, not surprise, not anger, not sadness... She held the photo tightly... At the last picnic, I was sick, and I wanted to ask Shuzhen not to go, and stay with me at home, but I was afraid of interrupting everyone's excitement, so I guessed that Shuzhen would not go, so I made a concession in front of others. Unexpectedly, she pondered for a moment, looked at Li Tianxi who was standing at the door holding a hat, and happily agreed to follow everyone... She stared blankly at the photo, but couldn't see Shuzhen in the photo, but the corners of the lips of Pastor Bi's affectionate lips, Mr. Wang's melancholy face, an ancient city, a piece of city wall, and a small courtyard were hidden in the photo. , a rose,... loosened her finger, and the photo fell down, and Ms. Shi's eyes suddenly filled with tears. The door opened gently, and Shuzhen came in lightly with a coffee tray, put it on the small table next to the bed, and smiled casually in the room.Ms. Shi looked at her in silence: she was wearing a thin white silk shirt, her plump chest was slightly heaving due to the rush to go upstairs, and her short, thick curly hair was piled up beside her blushing cheeks. Turning around, there is a plump back again, and the pink skin is faintly revealed in the middle of the lace of the shirt... A cloud of spring is circulating in the room... He suddenly looked up and saw himself in the mirror on the dressing table opposite, with disheveled hair, wearing a fleece sweater, pale face, eyes that seemed to be covered with red threads, and wrinkles gathered at the corners of the eyes... Shuzhen walked over with a smile, stood in front of the bed, picked up the photo to look at, and said with a smile, "Mom, don't you think these young people are all lively and cute? We also said that in the future we will go to school together, and we will definitely... " Ms. Shi did not agree.Shuzhen raised her head, and suddenly withdrew her smile: Ms. Shi bit her lower lip lightly, her eyes were full of tears, and she stared out of the window in a very desolate manner.Shuzhen leaned forward and asked softly, "Mom, what are you thinking?" Ms. Shi didn't look back, she just gently took Shuzhen's hand and said, "Son, I want to go back to China." (This article was originally published in the third issue of "Literary Quarterly" on July 1, 1934, and was later included in the novel collection "Dong'er Girl".)