Chapter 41 send little readers

Little readers: For no reason, I took the offer of Wheaton College and went to Mansfield the afternoon before yesterday. When I arrived at the station and looked at the bus watch, I realized that the journey from Boston to Mengye was going through Sharang. I suddenly felt a sense of loss! After I left the hospital, I went back to Sha Rang to see my patients twice.Every time I was very dazed, very timid in my heart, forced to smile in silence. Seeing the fallen leaves and dead branches beside the road, it seems that every branch and leaf gave me the memory of "turning to war"!This time I didn't go to Sha Rang, my attitude seemed to be more objective, but I still couldn't help but sigh!I remember that from the corridor of the hospital, I could see the train passing through the gap of white smoke in the distance.I memorized the location and looked into the distance, and sure enough, I saw the snow-white building tiles, set against the setting sun like a jade palace...

When I came back from Mengye at 7 o'clock in the morning, I saw it again in the car!The weather is early spring, the sun is warming, and the migratory birds are coming.I remember the day before last, my fluttering spring clothes on the mountain road!What kind of mood was there when the water stopped and the clouds stopped! kid!What is an illness?Is it worth the shock?I often ask myself this way.However, my friends who haven't seen me for many years say that I have changed.Although I can't tell where the difference is, but before the illness and after the illness, they are very similar to two people.What if this is true?Fortunately or unfortunately, it seems that it is worth wandering!

After I came back yesterday, when I was resting, I felt only melancholy and couldn't finish reading.At night, under the lamp, I found out the sickness and communicated with you.My little friend, I have become both a winner and a loser in one body. In the midst of my double sorrow, I feel that I can't help but have a lot to say! Have you ever seen a wrestler fighting a lion?When he held his breath and held his fist in the face of the ferocious minions, although he was terrified and arrogant, he never had time for depression and sorrow.After a burst of divine power was used up and he suddenly threw the king of beasts into the iron gate of death, he sat down with his head in his head in a daze.Amidst the thunderous cheers, he lifted his eyes feebly, and saw a gigantic mane growing beside him, like a giant that was still panting.I believe he must suddenly have an uncontrollable tremor, his whole body is submerged in the sea of ​​weakness and loneliness!

Napoleon, who suffered a crushing defeat, is heavier than Waterloo. Needless to say, he has infinite anger, breath and passion!However, his emotion is surging rather than deep, and it can be resisted by one person.And Wellington, who has made great achievements and retired from old age, travels at dusk and drives to this old war site, he is also grateful!He seemed to feel a boundless melancholy, an unrequited sadness.Standing alone under the setting sun, this white-haired veteran, after a hundred battles, can't stand the boundless bleakness of this idle but athletic man! Woe, O sorrow of the overcomer!

Children, how brave and joyful I am during the period of fighting against the disease!I am a child, I am Eskimo, I "step on dead branches, listen to the whispers of leaves", I "try to lift the curtain of nature, and tiptoe into the fairy palace".Now, the past is a thing of the past!I am "reserved all day long", I "bow my head to learn embroidery", I am "like water flowing slowly, without making a sound for half a year".Yes, "Once you get back to the road of health, the world will come one after another"!Although I once promised "my beloved mother": "Since I know life absolutely, I am willing to bow my head to appreciate it. I am willing to taste all the interesting things in life; Willing to taste it all!

——I am willing to use other tears and sick blood as rewards to push open the gate of life. "I also promised the children: "To appreciate life, you should feel like rolling a needle felt, taste it all over with your flesh and blood, and let it hit the nail on the head!" ... The future is long, and what I can tell the children may be more than that in the future. "And the various interests in life that hit the nail on the head must be exchanged with pieces of innocent childlike innocence. I don't know how much timidity and panic I have to pay for passing on each other!

I have changed, for the children and my beloved mother, I am very willing to submit to the authority of life.However, I would like the children to listen to the sorrow of the weak and the loser! In front of my enthusiastic and loyal little friend, after slightly dispelling the block in my chest, I would like to tell the little friend a happy news for everyone.At this time my mother is counting the moon in the eastern hemisphere!After another four full moons, I can be in my mother's arms again, and even children don't have to patiently read my handwriting written a month ago.How I like it!

I feel sorry, kid!I also contribute to you with my sentimental thoughts.However, my "Goddess of Poetry" is just a gentle, slightly sad Yes, let her write like this. I wish you joy and health!Bing Xin, March 12, 1926, Na'an Bijialou. (This article was originally published in "Morning News" on April 26, 1926, and was later included in "Send to Young Readers".) dear mother: This morning, I received the "Send to Young Readers" sent by Brother Bing Zhong from Beijing, and I hurriedly flipped through it. My enthusiasm like water stopped and repeated waves!dear mother!My feet have stepped on the fields of the motherland, and my heart is full of joy and sadness!

On the evening of the 7th, when the Yorkson, which took me on a long trip three years ago, slowly sailed into Wusong Port, I stood hugging the pillar. Facing the cold wind blowing on the river, only my mother's kind face is hidden in my heart.After three years, I have not changed. I am still the daughter of my mother three years ago, and I am still the daughter of my mother in Nianyu years ago! Shanghai is bitter and hot, recalling the scene of watching the bright moon in the sea breeze on the boat, the past is really a thing of the past!Nian Liuye The sea waves are roaring, the water shadow is deep and black, only between the bright moon and me, a road of shimmering and broken light is paved on the water.Looking at the waves splashing beside the boat, this star shattered my dream of traveling far away!Mother, you are the sea, and I am just the waves splashing for a moment.Although temporarily in the lowest space, all kinds of flashes appeared, and in the shortest time, it flew into the mother's arms again.Mother!My dream of beautiful travel is already in the midst of awakening.The sea waves of the motherland washed away every dream figure in my heart.Mother!The person in the dream is just the person in the dream, besides you, who is the destination of my eternal soul?

In the morning of reading, I got up before dawn. After seeing the sails of the motherland on the river, I couldn't sleep anymore!I leaned over the round window to watch the full moon set in the west, the purple light was about to recede, and the bright glow in the eastern sky had already reported me the news of the sky light!Mother, for you, the daughter who has returned from thousands of miles, feels that the waning moon and the morning glory that are often seen abroad, but at this time they all give me a very strong and passionate affection. Mother, I'm just a child in the mountains and seas, a child in the northern countryside.I can't live in Shanghai!Long skirt and blouse, sleeves like butterfly wings, oily head, three or four strands of short hair unnaturally cut off on the forehead.I feel annoyed and intimidated by such a uniform and impersonal dress.It's very hot here, and my brothers and sisters like to pour me wine.Last night I drank "Dawanxiang", which was easy to swallow. Tonight I drank "White Rose Dew", which really made me drunk.He hurried upstairs to lie down with his clothes on.It's already midnight when I wake up, and the bright moon is staring at my window.I dimly remember that I was close to home, so I was spared the sorrow of "the dawn and the moon on the banks of the willows".

Mother!Look at the crooked words I wrote, my sister-in-law laughed and said that I was still sick and drinking!I decided to go north on the night of August 2nd.I love mother! I'm afraid of heat, I don't know how to eat alcohol, it's better to go home! Is it okay to pass this letter on to the children?The Daughter Who Returned Home July 30, Shanghai 4th edition. ) Dearest little readers: I'm home!In the word "go home", I burst into tears of gratitude and joy! Three years away, in retrospect, was not as good as a glimpse of the waves.When I wrote this letter, my younger brother Bing Ji was standing by. Outside the window, the red ones are oleanders, and the green ones are willow branches, against the clear blue sky of Beijing.The scenery of my hometown came back to my eyes one by one! kid!If you had never left northern China for three years, you would not have admired the blue sky in the north!Get up early in the morning, lift the curtain and look outside, there are one or two piles of pure white clouds in this sea-like blue sky, sparsely passing by, the willow leaves swaying in the morning wind, giving you a little bit of coolness.You think this kind of "cold place thick" faint nostalgia is something you can't taste in a foreign country!If you are an emotional person, you will have an emotion that seems to be joyful but not joyful, and seems to be disappointed but not bewildered.Standing and staring for a while, you may shed tears of desperation and conversion! In a foreign country, I only met this kind of cloud shadow and sky light twice.One time was at the top of Bailing in New Hampshire in the summer of the previous year.I woke up from a nap, and got a book from a friend in England. It was full of friendship, and described the scenery of Oxford to the point of falling into dreams.Confused and joyful in my heart, I took this letter and walked up to the top of the mountain, and suddenly I saw that exotic blue ocean-like sky!Among the surrounding mountains, this clear blue sky is full of everything.The slanting sun all over the sky, brewing a deep purple or two in the western sky.The color changes in an instant, from silver gray to fish belly white, and suddenly turns into brilliant gold.Wanshan is silent, because of the changes of this wonderful end of the day, it seems that there is a sound in space!Like waves, like birdsong, like wind whistling, I seem to hear the sound of the setting sun.At this time, I suddenly felt that my weak heart was lifted up to the sky by this great impression, and suddenly it was crushed down to the bottom of the sea!I felt the majesty of nature, and I was childish all over. After my illness, I fell on the thin grass amidst the beautiful scenes all around me, sobbing endlessly! Another time was this spring, one night in Washington D.C.I traveled south from the dry and cold New York City and found "spring" in Huajing!I sat near the window in the breeze, and it was already evening. The National Women's Party building was facing the white building of the National Assembly.Eyes tired from traveling for half a day, awakened by the blue sky behind this building!Children from overseas!Please forgive me, before I suddenly marveled at the White House of Congress, during my sojourn in the United States for two and a half years, I never felt that she is a majestic country! This white building stood upright for a long time, like a fairy pavilion with exquisite holes.Being forced by the powerful lights beside the building, the blue sky behind the building appears even more.There are also great white stone buildings on both sides.In front of the building is a very wide white stone street.The snow-white ball lights illuminated neatly.The passers-by on the road were all silent amidst the great scenery.This heavenly silence is the first time I have found it since I came to America.I have found the similarities between Huajing and Beijing! My protruding nostalgia is like a raging sea!Push away the chair, walk down this quiet high-rise building, and walk straight to the big library.I feel indescribably happy and free on the road.The fresh green of willows is swaying in the evening wind of early spring.Like a regular visitor, I walked into the large reading room, where I wrote my diary.I wrote two lines of poems that suddenly recalled Lu Fangweng's "calling the host was originally a guest, knowing that it is not my land and climbing the building".Carefully chewing on the meaning of the word "call" and "qiang", my interest gradually faded! I closed the book and walked out lazily.Go out and star for a day.I let out a long breath. ——I saw a cart on the side of the road, and a black man was selling fried peanuts and chestnuts.I haven't eaten snacks since I got sick, so I suddenly walked up to them and bought two packs.The dark face under the lamp smiled kindly at me, interrupting my forced dream again!Why do I want to eat peanuts and chestnuts? It is nothing more than to force Huajing to be Beijing! As I write this, my wrist is weak, and I feel embarrassed to tell you, my little friends, that I have been ill for over ten years since I came back, and this morning is the first time I have written a long letter.I was already haggard and exhausted during the trip, but when I got home, I felt relieved, and the serious illness took the opportunity.I wasn't a very sick person, but I don't know why, since I corresponded with you, my life has been mixed with illnesses, how can I say this! The new autumn of the motherland is here.As a newly healed me, I feel bleak with joy!There are still many things to say, save them for later, fortunately, I am getting closer to you now! Your warm and faithful friends, hereby wish you joy! Bing Xin August 31, 1926, Yuanen Temple. Four editions. )