Chapter 6 Autumn rain and autumn wind worry people

The autumn wind kept rustling, the autumn rain kept dripping, and the sycamore and plantain leaves outside the window made a sound of autumn.Dark green curtains hung low.Under the light, I sat by the desk in front of the window, reading a book silently.There are a few sweet-scented osmanthus flowers in the bottle on the table, it seems that it feels too lonely, so they send the fragrance over from time to time.Makes me look up at it.It seemed to smile at me and said: "Bing Xin! Although outside the window is 'autumn rain and autumn wind worrying people', inside the window is as warm as spring!"

What I hold in my hand is a copy of "Excellent Good Ci Notes", which I picked up by accident when I cleaned up the bookcase today. I have been away from it for more than a year.Picking it up and reading it tonight, it was like the joy of reuniting an old friend.I saw "Mulan Flower Slowly" together: "The old man knows whether he is healthy or not, and it has passed another autumn... Where can we meet again, and listen to the geese when we are sick, and the sunset calls gulls..." When the page is over here, I will turn to that article go.Suddenly, an envelope fell from the pages of the book on the table.Turning over the letter, I saw the words "Bing Xin kisses me" written on it.I don't feel stuck.Could it be that you are dazzled?But this is clearly the handwriting of Ying Yun, a classmate who has not known the information for a long time!When was it caught in this book?He opened the letter suspiciously and read it from beginning to end.After reading it, my nerves suddenly became confused.The impression of a tragedy a year ago came to my eyes again.

Yingyun was a classmate of mine in middle school, only two years older than me. When it comes to her morality and knowledge, she is really a unique young man.His temperament is very noble and lively, and his ambition is extremely lofty.The students all said that Ying Yun's appearance fits the attitude of a beauty very much.In my opinion, there is nothing particularly beautiful about her face and figure.However, she naturally has a kind of extraordinary abundance, which makes her different from others. Among her classmates, she got along best with me and Shuping.Shuping is one year older than Yingyun, and has a very demure and quiet personality.Although far inferior to Ying Yun in terms of qualifications, he is extremely diligent.Therefore, he is comparable to Yingyun in homework, but far behind in other abilities.

During the big exam in the winter of the year before last, Shuping got up in the middle of the night to study class many times, and caught cold, so she coughed and got hemoptysis.She still struggled to attend classes every day, and overworked, her brain suffered severe brain damage, and her condition became serious day by day.Her home is in Baoding again, and there is no one to take care of her day and night, so teachers and classmates are worried about her.They hurriedly moved her from the dormitory to the hospital.In less than a week, he died. Every time I recall the scene of the day Shuping died, it is as clear as yesterday.The sun was still out for a while that morning, but it was cloudy in the afternoon, and it snowed a few times.After the meal, Yingyun and I came out of the dining room and walked to the court while talking.The branches and the ground were covered with snow, and it was as if there were moss under the feet after the rain. As Yingyun walked, he picked up a broken branch and knocked on the willow tree beside the field.The snow on the branches fell one after another, blowing on my face with the wind.I quickly turned around and said, "Yingyun! Don't be naughty."

She smiled, and suddenly asked, "Are you going to see Shuping this afternoon?" I said, "Not sure, if she is better, I don't have to go." At this moment we stopped at the same time.Ying Yun said: "Yaqin came back yesterday and told me that Shuping's illness is probably not good, and she can't even speak clearly. She stood in front of Shuping's bed, and Shuping held her hand, crying and calling mother, you Look..." I was stunned for a while and said: "Where is it... the foundation of young people is stronger, it's just that the fever is too high, just talking nonsense." Ying Yun shook his head and said: "Doctor Said she had meningitis. Wishing her well may not be easy." I sighed and said, "If... we take leave after school and go out and have a look." At this time the hall bell rang, and we all went together Go upstairs.

After two or four o'clock, Yingyun and I went to the principal's office to take leave to see Shuping.The principal was silent for a long time.After a while, he said in a very low voice: "You don't have to go, Shuping has passed away at seven o'clock this morning." This sentence was like a thunder, Ying Yun and I were stunned, we looked at each other and said no. Speak up.In the future, Ying Yun said: "Principal! Can you allow us to send her off?" The principal hesitated for a while, then said: "I heard that it has been buried, and the doctor said that this disease recruits people. It is better not to go. Theirs The parents have also arrived. The train will leave tonight." Ying Yun said: "Since it has been packed up and we will be leaving soon, we can go and have a look and see what is going on. . " As I said that, tears rolled down my face, and I was so sad that I didn't dare to look up.The headmaster had to agree, we withdrew and went to the hospital.

The coffin stopped on the corridor of the ward. When I saw it, my heart turned cold and I believed that Shuping was really dead.Could this rectangular box be able to lock this rare young man inside and never get out!At this time, there were no tears, and she just stared blankly at the coffin.After a while, he raised his head, only to see Ying Yun staring at the sky with silent eyes, without saying a word.It wasn't until Shuping's parents came out to answer the ceremony that we felt sad for a while, we couldn't help crying, and we sent the coffin out of the courtyard.They came back listlessly together.

I didn't have dinner either. I took a few books by myself and walked back to the dormitory through the snow.The ground is white, like moonlight. While walking, I heard someone playing the piano in the piano room, but the tone was very sad.I thought: "Isn't this Yingyun?" I walked slowly to the door of the piano room and listened for a while, then gently opened the door and went in.Under the light, she looked back at me, then turned her head again.I put the book on the piano stand, stood for a while, and then asked, "What score do you play?" Ying Yun was still playing the piano, and replied, "This tune is called 'Snow Heroes'. A Saxon cavalry general escaped from the enemy's fortress in the snowy night, was seriously injured, and fell on the snow in the forest, doing it when he was dying."

After saying this, we remained silent for a long time.I sat on the other side of the piano chair, flipped through the music score, and sighed: "Aspiring young people should not die. China's aspiring young people should not die. You see, a person like Shuping will not die in the future." I'm afraid that she was not a promising woman in the female world, but she died again, her knowledge, ability and aspirations are all extinguished, and she has been preparing and sharpening, but she has ended up like this, it is really frustrating." Ying Yun paused slowly. Qin raised her head and said, "You think the death of the body is a tragic thing, but you don't know that the death of hope is even more tragic!" I nodded, but I didn't know what she meant.Ying Yun said again: "When I die recklessly, I don't know or feel all the pain. It's a pity that the body is still alive, but the hope is like being closed in the tomb. That's called..." At this time, she lowered herself again Turning his head away, tears dripped on the piano.I was very surprised, because her words did not express condolences to Shuping, but seemed to have some other feelings, so I forced a smile and persuaded: "You are here again, and you are sad again, it is all because of my words. Yes." Ying Yun stood up listlessly, wiped away his tears and said, "Tonight I don't know why I am very troubled and anxious. I was supposed to play the piano to relax, but I played this miserable tune unknowingly." I covered it Put on the cover of the piano, picked up the book and said: "Let's go, don't be too pessimistic." We walked out of the piano room together, and went back to the dormitory through the snow gap.

Spring is here again, and the earth is full of business.Our sadness for Shuping was also gradually faded by Chun Fan, and we still lived happily in that school life. The spring exams have passed, and only after the graduation ceremony of Class A has passed, the summer vacation will begin. The graduation ceremony was at four o'clock in the afternoon that day.At seven o'clock there was another assembly of the teachers and students of the hall.It is also a farewell and a farewell to the graduates.Preparing for entertainment and so on always means final entertainment.At five o'clock that night, the students were chatting and playing casually on the court.Because Ying Yun was going to play Youyi tonight, she was a Greek queen in the play, so she loosened her hair and curled it with paper strips.I didn't dare to come out, so I hid in my room and leaned on the bed to read a book.I sat on the window sill, picked the leaves of the vines with my hands, and talked with Yingyun.Downstairs, under the roses on the green grass, the students sat and walked in twos and threes. The golden setting sun enveloped this world of red, willow and green.But there is a group of happy and lively young people in the middle. The setting sun and fragrant grass can be described, but the happy and lively hearts of young people cannot be described!

We were all very happy and satisfied at the farewell party in the evening.The queen of Yingyun in the play is especially wonderful.The students all praised her in unison, saying that she has an attitude of "tenderness like a dragon, graceful like a bird".Afterwards, Yaqin gave her farewell speech and the graduate representative's reply speech, and the meeting ended.At that time, it was about nine o'clock. When I came out of the auditorium, I saw the moonlight like water, and the students played in the yard again.Yingyun and I sat on the steps together, talking gossip. At this time, a gust of cool wind was blowing, and the clothes fluttered.Ying Yun pushed back the hair on his forehead with his hands, and said with a smile: "Bing Xin! You should know that by this time next year, we will graduate." I couldn't help laughing, and said: "Graduation is nothing." Ying Yun said, "It's not that it's nothing, but the day of serving the society is getting closer day by day. It's time to try this athlete." I asked, "After graduation, do you still want to go to university? "Ying Yun nodded and said: "Naturally, it is not easy for middle school graduates to gain the respect of the society. Besides, I am still young and have little experience. Naturally, I should study advanced knowledge for the future. Wouldn't it be more beneficial in the service of others!" Yingyun and I stood up together and walked back and forth on the porch to talk.The shadow of roses under the porch shone unstoppably on the porch.When we walked, it seemed that the porch was active, and we dare not step on it with confidence. This month is also coming to a very full season, and the clear light is shining, as if it is purposely shining on us.Yingyun was very happy tonight, smiling from time to time, and asked me: "Is there anyone in the world happier than us?" The age of hope is the age of hope. The greater the hope, the greater the happiness." I nodded, but thought in my heart: "The greater the hope, the greater the pain when encountering setbacks." At this time, I suddenly remembered Shuping again, but I didn't dare to say it, I'm afraid it would dispel Yingyun's interest.well!Thinking back now, I also think that I didn't say it at the time.Because that night Ying Yun's complacent smile was the last time in my eyes. During the summer vacation, I didn't get half a letter from Yingyun. I was very puzzled and blamed her a little bit. On the first day of school in autumn, all the classmates came, and there were many new students, the auditorium was full.I walked into the auditorium and looked around for Yingyun, but I couldn't find him. Just as I was about to ask Yaqin, Yingyun suddenly walked in from the outside with a very thin face, so I stood up and wanted to talk to her.At this time, some classmates called her with a smile: "Mrs. He is here." I was taken aback.At the same time, I saw Ying Yun blushed, and the circles of his eyes were also red.Yaqin quickly winked at those classmates, but they didn't know why, so they all stopped talking.I walked over slowly, Yingyun only smiled miserably when he saw me, and nodded his head, his expression became more distressed.I didn't dare to talk to her either, and returned to my seat, feeling very suspicious in my heart.After the opening ceremony, I played Yaqin and inquired about Yingyun's affairs carefully.Yaqin said: "I am not far from her home, so I know a little bit. After the summer vacation, Yingyun returned to Tianjin, and within a week, she was out of the cabinet. It is said that she was hired by her cousin, Shizhi. Her uncle was a commander, and his family was extremely rich.Yingyun went over there, and no one from the top to the bottom did not praise her well.I don't know why Ying Yun is so depressed, I only know that she is very reluctant to be mentioned. " From then on, Ying Yun seemed to be a different person. Not only did he not smile often, but he didn't even talk much.Sitting quietly in his own seat all day long, never going to the stadium, reading and doing things, all alone.I don't want to be with others, and my homework is not necessarily very good.The students said: "After Yingyun came out of the cabinet, he became more mature." Another person said: "Yingyun has become slimmer recently." I think Yingyun is not mature, he is simply "dead."Where it is slender, it is so thin.I often felt sorry for her, but I never dared to have a long conversation with her.He didn't dare to ask her about her situation in detail, for fear of touching her sadness.As a result, I had a lot of estrangement with her on the outside, and her attitude gradually became negative, but I was still positive, and I was even more alienated invisibly. Another year has passed.During this year, because Yingyun's attitude has changed greatly, I have also suffered a lot of losses, and I have lost a lot of benefits from pondering and learning from homework.And other students can't be as intimate as Ying Yun, so they lose a lot of fun.However, I was about to graduate that year, and I always had happiness and hope in my heart, and my eyes were on the future, and I didn't care about the little bit of pain at present. Four, our graduation ceremony was held at ten o'clock in the morning, and it was already past twelve o'clock after the event.After eating, I went to Yaqin's house. Many other classmates were also there, and we all laughed together.At three o'clock, the sky suddenly became dark. After a while, lightning flashed everywhere, and thunder rumbled, and then there were several bursts of heavy rain.The water droplets all jumped into the house, so we quickly closed the windows, sat around one place, and talked about ancient things.The rain gradually stopped at five o'clock.When I opened the door, I saw that the rain on the side of the stadium hadn't receded, and it was blown by the breeze, like a lake of spring water.The flowers and leaves under the tree are washed green and tender by the rain, and they are tender and red.The setting sun came out again, the sunset glow was glowing, and the air was very fresh.We all like to say: "Today's farewell party will definitely not lose interest." During the meeting, all the students were present.Among the graduates, there is no Yingyun. The chairman wanted to ask someone to invite someone, so Yaqin stood up and apologized to everyone on her behalf, saying that she was a little unwell and could not attend the meeting. Everyone has nothing to do.The entertainment performed that night was very interesting.The order in the meeting was also neatly arranged, and we were all extremely happy.There was laughter all over the hall, but I suddenly felt dizzy.I think it's because there are too many people in this hall and the air is not good.She wanted to go down for a change of air, so she whispered to Yaqin, "I'm a little dizzy, I need to evacuate for a while, and call me when the graduates answer their speeches." She agreed. I went downstairs gently. Standing on the porch, with the cool breeze blowing, I felt much more awake.At this time, the moonlight came out from the gap in the clouds again.Because it is the weather after the rain, the moonlight seems to be doubly cool.I just thought of two poems: "The cold moon breaks through the clouds, and a girl sits in white." I can't help but feel creepy.At this time, I suddenly heard a sighing sound from the corridor, and I looked down at the roses on the grass mat, and there was a girl in white clothes sitting there.I was taken aback, and when I held onto the railing to look again, under the moonlight, Yingyun raised his head and smiled: "It doesn't matter, I'm sitting here." I settled down and walked down the steps, smiling quietly Said: "What are you doing here alone? Yaqin said you were sick, are you well now?" Ying Yun said: "I am sick, I am just unhappy to be alone, and I don't want to disturb everyone's interest. That's it." I knew she felt touched again, so I didn't say anything, I pulled a cushion and sat beside her.After staying for a while, Yingyun sighed and said, "The moon is still the same month, and the wind is still the same wind. Why was the moon so bright last year tonight, and the wind last year tonight didn't blow the face cold? Our interest. The moon tonight this year is very bleak, and the wind is blowing cold into our muscles and bones, as if to help our sadness?" I said, "They were originally unconscious. They met us. Although sometimes they seem to have sympathy with us, they are actually our own psychological effects, but they are absolutely emotionless." Ying Yun nodded and said: "I also know, I think from now on, I will never meet the good Fengyue again." The voice was full of misery. ——I was very moved in my heart, so I sincerely said to her: "Yingyun——I have never talked to you in this year. Even though I know a little about your affairs, why did you let me go? I have never been so depressed to this point, can you tell me, or I can comfort your pain a little." At this moment, Ying Yun was about to cry.I couldn't help feeling uncomfortable and regretful, so I had to persuade her slowly.After a while, she gradually stopped, and said: "Bing Xin! I am well aware of the reason why you are estranged from me, and I am very grateful. My pain has nowhere but you. I told you. After returning home last year, I found out that my parents had betrothed me to my cousin Shizhi half a year ago. It was the day Shuping died. The wedding was set for a week later. After I found out, all hope was lost. Because we were originally relatives, I knew the situation of my aunt’s house. It was a completely old family. But my parents always felt very satisfied, thinking that my aunt’s house was very calm. , my future situation will never be wrong, and the appointment has already been made, and there is no room for repetition.” At this time, Yingyun stopped temporarily, and a gust of wind came, and the remaining drops from the rose leaves were sprinkled on us.I felt the coolness encroaching, so I said to Ying Yun: "Do you feel cold? Let's go in, shall we?" She shook her head, still tossing and turning the wet towel, and said, "Auntie There are fifty or sixty people in the family, and there are more than a dozen younger brothers and sisters who were concubines. They all read a little Chinese at home with Shizhi, and learned to make some poems and songs. I don't know, let alone anything else. Moreover, the habits of the dandy are full of contamination.I thought it wasn't Shizhi's fault. With their family education, they would naturally cultivate such high-level vagrant talents.In today's world and society, it is extremely dangerous, so I sincerely persuaded him to go out to study.But he said: "Do people like us still have to worry about food and clothing?" 'Still complacently living this pampered life.I know that he is too deeply imprisoned and his vision is too shallow, so he cannot be persuaded in a short while.My aunt is a stubborn woman, and the housekeeping facilities are ridiculous.One day I kept accounts for her, and in the monthly payment, luxury expenses, entertainment expenses, and incense donations in temples accounted for almost half of it.What is called entertainment in the family is banquets, playing cards and listening to operas.Other than that, I don't know what joy there is in the world.My aunt also told me to learn to play cards and drink alcohol, so that I can be the host of the family banquet.Not only this, but there are also restrictions on clothing. I always don't want me to dress up too plainly, saying that I am not afraid of taboos.It must be heavily dressed, powdered and greased, it is simply a toy.And even the trivial things in my own room are not asked to do by myself, and the maidservant will do it for me. 'When the play was over, Zeng Wuli's song was just sitting with incense in makeup. 'It's just for me to portray.Sometimes I am so bored that I want to talk to Yaqin, but every time I go out, there will be crowds of cars and horses, more powerful than the wife of the President of the United States.Such clothes and attendants really make me ashamed to see my old friends, so I have to sit at home all day long.On May 15th, my birthday, I also entertained guests and sang operas, which was very lively.My parents and aunt thought that this kind of treatment can always satisfy me.Unexpectedly, I feel more uncomfortable than a prisoner, because I have to negatively reject all the things I want to do, and actively carry out all the things I don’t want to do.Is there any joy in living a passive life like this? 5 When I heard this, I felt sorry for her. But I had no choice but to comfort her, so I said, "I heard that everyone in your aunt's family is very affectionate with you. If you can find a way to slowly improve your influence, Not necessarily without hope. "Ying Yun shook his head and said: "It's useless, the reasons why they like me: First, they say that I am beautiful and generous enough to boast to my relatives and friends.The second reason is because I have a gentle and gentle personality, and I don't have the habit of making a fuss about female students these days.If I want to be very innovative, they will completely overthrow me if they like me, and I will not be in charge of the housekeeping, so they want to improve with all their hearts, but they can't start.Sometimes I think of the words "I am born to be useful" and "a man who is reluctant to do so", and I think that maybe God deliberately placed me in this dark family and asked me to rectify and reform.Although housekeeping is not in my hands, the education of these dozen or so younger siblings is even more important.So I tried to get in touch with them, and slowly instill new knowledge into their little minds.Unfortunately, my uncle was very reluctant to talk about the new school.My brothers and sisters rarely get close to me, and their interest in "scientific games" is far less than listening to games.All my painstaking efforts were in vain, and I was also involved in this vortex of food and drink. All day long, my mind was confused.If there is no banquet on this day, I still read some books to rest and clear my mind, and I don't have the energy to influence them.As time goes by, it gradually declines unconsciously.I think all the phenomena in this family are signs of decline, and the children are helpless, and even I personally don't know what will happen in the future. At this moment, Ying Yun was talking, and burst into tears again. I said: "In this case, why are you willing to ask you to come to study again?" Ying Yun said: "My aunt was very unwilling. She said that our family does not depend on you to teach for money."Why bother to study like this, it is better to stay with me at home.Filial piety to me is better than earning money to support me.I said: "Even if I go, it will only take a year. I will stop going after I graduate from middle school, so that my studies will be over."And the students have been away for a long time, so it's good to go to the meeting for a while.I will serve your old man for a long time. 'In the future, my uncle agreed to call me here.When I went back to school and met you, it was like a lifetime away. I liked, felt sad, regretted myself, and envied you all.Although I sit on the seat all day long, I can't work hard because of all kinds of disputes in my heart.Because I didn't have the heart to study, but I just wanted to live a happier and more peaceful life this year. Unfortunately, today is the last day. Bing Xin!The position I am in today is really beyond my wildest dreams. "Speaking of this, Ying Yun swallowed silently again. My nerves were all deranged, so I stood up and pulled her and said, "Yingyun! You don't want to..." At this moment, the shutters upstairs suddenly opened, and Yaqin called out from the window: "Bingxin! Where are you?" ? It's time for your answer." I was about to agree, but Yingyun said: "Go up quickly, lest she come down to look for you again." I had no choice but to leave Yingyun and go upstairs. When I listened to Ying Yun's words, it was like listening to the ghost singing in Qiufen, and I felt very sad.When he arrived at the meeting, he only said a few words listlessly, and then came downstairs, Ying Yun had already left.I didn't look for her either, so I went back to the dormitory by myself and sat silently. At seven o'clock the next morning, Ying Yun knocked on the door and came in with a very gloomy expression. Holding a few books in her hand, she said: "This is your "Excellent Good Ci Jian", I have finished reading it, thank you!" Then he put the books on the table, I saw that she was already dressed, and then Said: "Are you leaving now?" Ying Yun said: "Yes. Bing Xin! Let's see you again." After speaking, his eyes turned red, and he turned and went out.I didn't dare to see her off either, so I just stood at the door and waited until her back turned around the building before entering melancholy.cough! The most intimate classmate in the past few years, from that day on, not only lost his voice, but also lost his voice.It has been more than a year now, and I am very busy with my homework, and I seem to have gradually forgotten Yingyun, but I still dare not recall her more.Because when I think about it, I feel sad.Unexpectedly, I found this letter again this evening. Then I slowly picked up the letter that had fallen on the floor and read it again.The following is what she said in the letter. Dear Bing Xin!My heart was full of grief, and I couldn't say anything more.Shuping is dead, and so can I.Only you are still active like a tiger!The responsibilities and hopes of Shuping and I are all on your shoulders.You have to work hard, you have to struggle, you have to know that your opportunity and status are rare, and you have to remember that our goal is to "sacrifice yourself to serve the society."At three o'clock on the twenty-seventh night, Yingyun Shuping!Yingyun Oh!Always encourage me in your spirit.Make me worthy of my dead friend, my living friend, and myself. The autumn wind is still blowing, and the autumn rain is still dripping, but the sweet-scented osmanthus in the bottle lowers its head, as if to say to me in panic: "Please forgive me, I said a happy word. Now the window It's also about 'autumn rain and autumn wind worry people'." Note before the title: "Fiction of Facts". )