Chapter 4 Biography of Mr. Yuzhi

Mr. Kozhi is a person who doesn't know how to describe himself when he introduces himself to a distant stranger.With his frightening honesty, he often writes like this: You want me to describe myself, and I will do as you want, as long as you believe me.To know me, you only need to think of me as one of the most unlovable people you meet, and then you have the frightening and timid look of a countryman, the sharp nerves and anxious temperament of a tuberculosis patient. Temperament, and a soldier's distaste for a gentleman's inability to compromise, mixed together, is the whole of me.

According to his own thinking, he is such a person.He doesn't have any minor ailments in his body. On the surface, when you see him, he has a serious temperament. Although he is not lively, he is not so weird. You are not willing to believe what he says.But he always wants others to follow other people's imaginations, try to think of him as bad as possible, and also think of him as unlovable, thinking that he can never be wrong.He wanted people to imagine him that way, and it comforted him to imagine that this man was so incapable of making out with him. He can write a little novel, and his writing is not very bad, but the first person to look down on his achievements is himself.He was thinking all the time: This is not my job, it is my turn to do this, all because other people are not happy to do this kind of thing.He himself does not forget what he should do, which is to be a countryman honestly, but fate has to keep him in his current position and wait for a miracle, so he still has to write, so when he writes all day long, he laughs at it. I thought that I was wrong to live in my current position.It's okay to just write something. It's strange that he also taught some books in a university.Among a group of intellectuals, there is no one with his background, so he just spends his days there in isolation.Because of this isolation, he felt he was mistaken.Who in the world can live in isolation forever?

He has nearly twenty years of experience in sitting down alone in a small room and surrounding himself with four walls, or walking alone in those deserted and empty hills. .When he came to XX University, he lived with a group of professors with flat faces and round heads called intellectuals, and XX was so spacious and quiet. His little experience made him live alone for a year.When I have nothing to do during the day, I often walk up and down the mountain paths alone. At night, I just sit in the small room under the light and let my imagination fly around.Recently, because of some things, the order of eating and sleeping has been completely messed up, and I have developed the habit of parading in the middle of the night. Get up in the morning, always sit at the small table for more than ten hours, sleep and eat are very negligent.This is actually not a new thing for him, everything seems to follow an irresistible unfortunate fate, so he silently supports this situation.Some wind and rain that come and go quickly make him look more dull, and his color is a little older. Sometimes when he sees it in the mirror, he quickly leaves the mirror, shakes his head, walks to the window, and looks at it. look at the sky.Because of these changes, his appearance has changed, and his originally pessimistic mood about life has become a little more gloomy.The order of life, in this person, always seems to be deliberately evading him. It is impossible to follow the steps, and everything cannot be stabilized. Life and emotions are always spinning under the incomparable and unimaginable hurricane.Although the past days were so messy and insignificant, what lay ahead of him seemed to be still such a large pile of days.He knew this, and he knew something else, but he was silent.

Someone saw that he didn't laugh often, and once asked him: "Mr. Yuzhi, how many times have you laughed in your life?" He thought: I must not have laughed a hundred times in my life.But because of this question, he searched for the number of times he laughed in various memories, and because of this question, he laughed.Just smile like that, just like a prisoner, before being executed and sentenced, when he walks through the street and sees a child smiling at him, he also smiles back like that. No matter who the questioner is, since he can ask such weird words, he feels very easy and understands Mr. Kazuki in front of him.He knows everything, and he naturally understands this, so he is not angry.The man then said: "Laughter is good for health, body, mind, nerves, and digestive organs. Because laughter makes you more lively, Dr. Deng said it long ago."

It doesn't matter whether Dr. Deng said this sentence or never said it. Mr. Yuzhi didn't know how to answer this person.Because as soon as this person finished speaking, he opened his mouth that seemed to be dedicated to eating meat and drinking in normal times, and laughed out loud.Mr. Zuozhi looked at this person with great compassion, and tried to study his posture, paying attention to this person's throat.Since he was very young, he saw the way the throat of the murdered man constricted, and he didn't understand why the thing didn't cut him again.In my heart, I always seem to be very worried and worried, honestly worrying about this matter, thinking that rice is already so expensive now, so if I continue to be happy, I can digest a piece of iron, but I still eat rice all day long, so I need a lot more Corn?Many people's digestive organs are already strong enough, so it's not... On the one hand, he planned that, and on the other hand, he hoped that this friend would leave sooner.Because under the circumstances, he would very much like to stay alone, do something else, and feel that this conversation should be over.

After a while, this person got the happiness he wanted and left. Mr. Kazuki seemed to be very lucky, and completely forgot about the abuse others gave him.But he always felt that no matter how he was in this society, his position was a little wrong, otherwise he wouldn't be in this state.He thought of his friend's big smile, thinking that in this kind of life, he could still smile every day. Gradually, his face became like a high-ranking official. Why don't I smile?He also looked very surprised at his own depression.He thought, it must be good for me to tell some jokes with someone, but he didn't know who to talk to.

Everyone seemed to be smarter and more lively than him.Everyone's digestive organs also seem to be better. Because I seem to want to smile, but I don’t know what kind of things will happen to my head, so I can smile, so when my colleagues laugh somewhere else, I always want to know.But when he heard others laughing, he went over to have a look and asked them, "Why, did something ridiculous happen?" The other refused to answer embarrassedly, and said, "Old Du treats Xiao Song as a godmother." ,..." Or just say that, or say something else, almost all of them are common jokes.Hearing this colleague bend down while telling this story, Mr. Yuzhi always felt strange, why didn't I think it was funny at all?As soon as he was gone, those people seemed to remember his look, and laughed again.He envied them, but lived silently among these people, so lonely.

All day long, he seems to be only ruining himself and humiliating himself. Imagine other people's lives, understand other people's love and hatred, experience other people's sorrows and joys, and analyze each person's different postures in life due to their unique identities.Every odor of the inferior man, every filth of the soul of the superior man, even though he isolates them so far, still seems clear to him.He often uses his whole life to get close to some of the most subtle things in human affairs, and some things that are so small that they are not worth noting.In the end, this person seems to understand many things in the world, but only God knows about his own life.

When anyone comes to his residence, in order to follow the usual routine, because Mr. Yuzhi is an author, and he always seems to have written a lot of things, and he may see a new article in some publication, he must have Said: "Mr. Yuzhi, how many stories have you made!" As usual, if I had to answer, I said, "Yes, I can't remember the number of things I did..." The other side thought that this was what the master was most happy to mention, so he said that he liked reading a certain article. Chapter stories, even if the words are not very honest, as a rule, they must maintain an appearance of honesty.

Mr. Yuzhi was very worried in his heart, thinking, "Why do I have to forget it myself, but you have to write it down? What use is it for you to write it down?" So when he saw the guest, he was very bored for this person, and he was also very bored. Feel bored, but still listen to the guests. Naturally, the guest still has something to say, and Mr. Zuzhi was so worried when he talked about this matter, but he still answered every question, and he would never disappoint a friend.Afterwards, the guest will naturally ask more stupid questions, always asking: "Mr. Yuzhi, which article of yours do you like?"

That one thought: "Enough, enough, I'm glad you walk!" This one may just feel that the question is inappropriate, so he changed his tone and asked, "Are your stories true?" What a disaster!He was forced to use such stupid words, and he was so embarrassed that he couldn't imagine. In the end, he had no choice but to say: "The weather is really nice today. Would you like to go up the mountain by yourself?" "Yes, the mountains are fine these days." Yea, he was saved by it, and they went off talking of all things up the mountain. The most difficult thing to deal with is the kind of person who is rude to Mr. Yuzhi and asks him why he doesn't get married.But at that time he suddenly became wiser, and he hurried to the stairs to call the servant, and asked the man to bring up the boiled water and pour water for the guests. No matter how any visitor talked about his story, he always felt that the conversation was a disaster. The guest felt restrained when he was there, and he was very unhappy after the guest left.Because he hated his job, all the stories that were written in one long silence were mentioned by a visitor, who was a person to talk to, and immediately became an extremely disgusting person.