Chapter 38 Remember the night of May 12

Let me keep this evening to myself. I'm ashamed.Like a thief, he lifted his shoes, walked barefoot along the long corridor, walked from the green arched door to his aunt's window.Facing the cold moon in the sky, I have to turn around several times.Remembering the words and phrases of "socks go down the fragrant steps, carrying golden shoes", I can't help laughing and pitying myself.This is the most elegant game for men!Thinking of the last scene of this game, I want to cry bitterly for my happiness.A buffoon who can only play the role of irresistible tragedy, To do this hero's work, my teeth, my hand, my blood-blooded heart!The poor man, who had not a flesh or a bone under his will, crashed into that room in the far west.Let me keep my shame in this matter forever!I almost fainted.I almost yelled.If it wasn't for the faint sound in the other room that made me regain my self-esteem from fear, I don't know what would happen if I entered the room.

This is for a tryst.Oh, there is a difference in the panic between a first-time thief and a first-time thief! It seemed that he hadn't slept well. Seeing me crashing into the room like a madman, the man sat up gently. I cannot describe the astonishment. She frowned slightly. I walked over to the bed.I'm silent.Don't be afraid.Not in a hurry.Raise your eyes and see everything. There was no light in the room, and the white moon was shining in a large square of white light from the big window. Auntie's head, auntie's shoulders, half of auntie's quilt, and auntie's white shoes and socks on the floor were all bathed in the moonlight.

This is a dream scene and a dream act! The person was standing by the bed, she moved her body slightly to let me sit.Sit down, no words.I don't look at the Venus, but I look at the moon. one This kind of poet's stupidity lurks in my soul, and every time I meet Yue, I will be stupid and forget about me. My aunt's sleeveless arm stretched out from under the quilt, leading me to look at her face under the moonlight, which became even whiter.I sigh softly. Auntie frowned and smiled. Comparing a male lover to a lion, to a tiger, and again to a dog, all have metaphors of greed and hunger. It is also true that lust can turn a normally honest person into a ferocious animal.At first, I imagined for myself, and I also thought that when I saw her, I would look like an eagle catching a rabbit, grab her in my arms, and then kiss greedily and recklessly, throwing my strength, my life, Give this woman an anesthesia of madness, and I, for the male sacrifice of possession, the pleasure of adventure, die for a while.

I was wrong, Liangyue and Jingye softened my lust.To put it more beautifully, we are poetized by the moonlight. I will not repeat here how we kissed, the power of my words is lost in such matters. In a long silent embrace, I have come to know the beauty in the world. The long hair, scattered behind the shoulders, seemed to be rubbed with the night.That shoulder is nephrite jade.The breasts, according to the Song of Solomon, were a pair of young white stags. "You go, I'm scared!" "We are, sharing the fear and joy, so I am bold!" "It's not that I don't love you, I'm afraid they will hear it."

"I took this risk to come here because I love you!" Using the hand as soft as five green onions to guide my hand to her chest, the heart is beating like a small drum.But I moved my hand around without flinching. From now on, my hands are coated with a layer of gold that feels soft and greasy for everlasting life. Auntie fell asleep slowly. "My sister, your body is like a lily, and I can smell the fragrance of the lily on your body..." I sang a song of Solomon softly, praising my devotion to God. I can rest assured from now on.If according to what the monks say, people will suffer the final judgment after death, and go to God to weigh my good and evil, or visit the ten palaces and meet the king of Hades with all kinds of faces, I will have something to say.All that I should do, I have done.Someone who doesn't get the love she deserves, I obey God's will and I've given it to this one.The soul of this woman created by God has been stained and traced by evil men, and I have washed it with my love.I love her so that this woman can understand the strength and passion that your great god has given to young men.I let her realize in me that she is worthy to be a young man's wife and a young man's lover... I am willing to give her not only the knowledge of love, but also instructions on dissatisfaction with the world, because your great god has carved her To be so beautiful, but to endow such a docile and peaceful character, and to punish her forever by the side of the dirtiest person, this is the harshest and most unfair treatment. I want her to know that you are the god of fate. curse!

Transcribed from the 1929 edition of the Peking Cultural Society