Chapter 4 someone's wife

The weather is cold.Late autumn in Beijing is similar to the twelfth lunar month in the south.However, except for rich people who have heating pipes in their homes, most people's houses cannot burn stoves even though they are cold.Expensive coal is only an unimportant reason.The reason for not burning the stove is that if there is a fire at this time, it will be difficult to deal with the snowstorm in Mobei in winter. Because of the cold weather, no matter how beautiful the scenery in the park is, there are few people.Those who come to the park are not necessarily to see the flowers and trees in the park, they are all to see the people, and it is not yet the skating season, so there are very few women who can be admired by the ordinary young masters who come to see the people. It's only natural that the park's business will suffer.

There are few people in the park, but there are gradually more people in another place-this place is known as the "city tide" and "movie theater". It was three o'clock in the afternoon. On the street, some people used electricity to turn the wheels, steam to turn the wheels, people to turn the wheels, and horses to turn the wheels. Half of the men and women in the country take the car because they have nothing to do and are boring to pass the afternoon.Sitting in the car is actually a way to pass the time.However, in a certain place, some people will definitely get out of the car for some unintentional agreed things.When the tram from Xisi Pailou to Dongsi Pailou stopped in front of Central Park, and when the big conductor in black drank "Park", two people got off the car, and the situation seemed out of helplessness.After getting out of the car and walking less than five steps, the conductor whistled, and the yellow wooden box-like tram walked slowly along the ground rails, carrying some people to another place.

A young couple got off the bus and walked into the gate of the park side by side. The woman rushed to the ticket office to buy a ticket. Those who are also conductors, who are on the tram, jump up and down in a hurry, as if they can't find free time even to scratch their itch.The ticket seller in the park is lying on the cabinet and dozing off.If it is said that that life is a monkey's life, then this person can really be said to be a cat's life.The same is true of the cat's leisure, with nothing to do but nap. The woman seemed unable to bear to wake up the ticket seller, even though she took out the pocket money from her wallet, she did not call him for a long time.

"What?" said the man. "Fell asleep." So the two of them smiled at the dozing hermit-like clerk. one A policeman collecting tickets was lonely at first and took out a small mirror from his coat pocket, looking like a woman nowadays, leaning against the pillars of the porch and looking at the mirror complacently. Selling tickets, knowing that the ticket seller has not woken up, he hurriedly stuffed the mirror into his pocket, walked to the ticket gate, and said, "Hey, what's the matter!" After being given such a drink, the ticket seller who fell asleep and was dreaming of eating glutinous rice balls suddenly dropped the bowl of glutinous rice balls on the ground and woke up angrily.Seeing that the work was done, the patrolman gave the young couple a very polite smile and walked past the ticket office.

"One bowl—two bowls?" He still didn't forget that the number of bowls of glutinous rice balls should be counted, and the entrance ticket should also be applied to the "bowl".This man is a very lovely person. "It's two." The woman couldn't understand the word "bowl" and said she wanted two. "Two six one-twelve, thirty-two pieces." The ticket seller pressed the yellow ticket with his hand while talking about the amount of money that had become a habit in his head. The air of not sleeping.I hope that a man and a woman who bought tickets, in the minds of the ticket sellers, are not a formal couple who come to this place at this time of year. They just use a usual posture and smile on their faces with the meaning of "I know everything". .This smile is also on the face of the patrolman. When the woman is picking up the ticket and delivering the ticket to the long-faced patrolman, she can see it all.The woman also smiled in another sense.

After handing in the ticket, there were three paths to walk in, and she, who was walking first, slowed down in order to choose which path was most suitable for him.The two walked side by side, and the woman asked, "Zhi, which way do you want to go?" "up to you." "As you please." She seemed to be a little stingy at this remark, but she just turned around. "Then go to the left." "it is good." They walked to the left, walked from a lonely and unoccupied corridor to the place where goldfish were usually raised, and saw a few men who looked like workers were scooping up the fish in the tank with wire bags, and the fish went from one tank to another where they could be stored in the greenhouse. Go in a small tank to avoid freezing in winter, so stop and watch.

"The fish are all wilted. It's like this when autumn comes. It's really ugly." The woman said, and went to see the man again, but saw that the man was scaring the fish with the shadow of his hand.But he seemed to hear what the woman said, so he said, "Then let's go." So the two of them walked to the water pavilion with purple peony flowers.When the peonies are in bloom, there are countless people near the waterside pavilion.At this time, apart from the two of them, there were some dead branches wrapped in straw.The change of personnel and events brought sadness to the couple. Sitting on a bench beside the flower bed, they felt that in their lives, they had already ruined that spring in a kind of red and green bustle. , to the current general autumn.Although when the two felt this situation at the same time, both of them moved a little closer unexpectedly, but this was impossible.The body is closer and the heart is more separated.Separated, far away, all love has been exhausted, if life is compared to a loofah, then all they have left to maintain the shape of the melon is some network.This feeling is clearer in the hearts of women than in men.Also because I am more aware of this situation, on the one hand, I am in love with another person, and on the other hand, because of the distressed appearance of this person in front of me, it arouses the fear of conscience. Lust and reason are mixed together, and I don’t know which path I should take.She could see from his recent behavior that he was more or less clear about her affairs.He suddenly often spends the night with friends outside, this incident proves in her eyes that all his troubles are all caused by her.He often vented his anger in a kind of silent melancholy.She understood that it was all due to being a wife's fault.But what will happen to her?She will look for the chance to make amends from a physical life?She was going to confess to him?In terms of the body, the wife is precisely because he has the perception of sinful yearning in his heart, every time he gets close, the more she loves the situation, the more he can only make him more daring to conclude that she has betrayed him in the first place. The same thing happened to the two men, and the heart of perfunctory in front of their husbands because of embarrassment was even more apparent.Let's admit this mistake with tears, and even if it can restore the relationship between the two, but the other side is all over.If you admit your fault on one side, and on the other side, go to private meetings with that person without your husband every week, then this ceremony is empty compensation, and it is even worse.

What about men?All that comes to mind is very sad.However, he couldn't bear his wife's overly sad temper, so he didn't say a word about this kind of talk.Vaguely from some relatives and friends, he knew the position he was in, and he had been suffering from this pain for more than two months.But apart from having to give his wife a little distress from his face, he simply became very polite to his wife who was not polite.In this politeness, he caused her more pain, just as she made him sad by being polite to him with this hidden secret in her heart. She knew that he was suffering greatly for himself, and he also knew that she was suffering for a kind of conscience: the two became more polite in this situation.But under this kind of politeness, both of them understood that they were perfunctory there, and the more painful it was.

If that's the case, let's break up, but we can't.Everything can be "broken up", even if we don't break up, all the troubles will be very limited.Besides, this is not something that can be broken up immediately.The matter of parting never occurred to any of them. They had been married for six or seven years.And at the beginning of this union, although it was just like the "old-fashioned family arrangement" method that can be used as a excuse for divorce, but at the same age, with the same beautiful body, they lived together for seven years, and during the seven years They are all living a healthy life, and there is no reason to break up!If it is said that this little thing that everyone has in their hearts is the best reason to break up, but can she believe that another one who loves her will be better than this old partner?And as a master, although he knows that she regards another person as a lover and is very passionately in love, he still believes that his wife may not love that lover as much as he loves himself.Knowing that she doesn't love others as deeply as she loves herself, but she can't avoid embarrassment. This is exactly the difficulty of life, which is also the stupidity of what the Buddha said about people.

one Personally, I often don't know how my personality has changed due to a kind of trouble, but he can see everything about others in his own stupor.The fact that a man in distress is very capable of sympathizing with other men in distress is as evidenced by a man who has been in distress.That's what he is.He saw her troubled by various things, although he could understand that half of the troubles were caused by his master's jealousy and another man gave her, but because of the troubles caused by her other half because of a conscience, he made him feel sad. He pitied her very much.

For fear of embarrassing the other party and being dominated by a faint emotion, none of them dared to mention this matter.If they don't mention it at all, they feel pity for each other in their hearts, and it seems that their hearts are very close. Today is a day when the wife has no place to go to another person. She is lonely at home. The master knows from some words that no one is waiting for her anywhere else, and he thinks that she is sick, so he persuades the wife to go. Come to the park.When they arrived at the park, both of them were willing to find something to talk about, and felt that they had nothing else to say except the words that had been kept in their hearts until their blood vessels burst. The willow leaves were still yellow and yellow hanging on the twigs a week ago, and the wind for several days has completely blown away.The water in the pond in front of the waterside pavilion was so clear that it would freeze in the middle of winter.They sat there as road stools, and after twenty minutes, no pedestrian passed by. The wife thought to herself, if she admits her mistake, if she falls on him at this moment, crying softly about what was wrong in the past, it will immediately clear the sky. But at the same time she thought, if the person beside her is that other With him, she will talk and laugh, and all the worries about the master can be put behind her mind. Hearing a magpie fly past her head, she looked up.When he raised his head, he realized that he seemed to be thinking about something, and he didn't even hear the sound of the magpie just now. "Chi, are you sick?" "No." "Cold?" "nor." "Then why is it unpleasant?" "Why - I think I've been like this all the time recently, I'm really sorry for you." Then he forced a wry smile, and said with a smile, "I came here with you because I was afraid that you would sit at home and get sick. Play." The laugh is forced and forced, and it can be seen that the words have no beginning and no end, and they stop suddenly. "I think we—" She couldn't go on anymore, all she wanted to say was overwhelmed by an unbearable grief, and turned into a sob, and then fell on his shoulder. "Don't be like this. I can't stand it anymore. People are coming. Make acquaintances laugh. Go back and cry again!Alas, I also want to..." He said quietly with tears in his eyes, while supporting his wife's head, the red-eyed wife fixed her eyes full of tears on him, the big tears were Straight down, like a cascading spring. He couldn't see her crying like this, and he didn't want to show her the same situation, so he turned his head away and sighed. "You can always trust me, I'm not as good as you think I can do!" Hearing what his wife said, he still didn't turn around.He only agreed to say "Yes. I believe in you." He continued, "Do I want you to lose other pleasures because of my obstruction? I just want you to know my temperament. I don't want to use any tricks to hinder your freedom. You do what you like, not only do I have no objection, but I also try to help you behind your back. But I am not a great person, and my advantage may be that I am an ordinary person. The jealousy I can feel, I will also feel. If you can imagine for me sometimes, just think about my embarrassing position. ..." He cried, but he had something to say.He immediately explained his pain in the past two months, how he lived every day in a dull way, and how he was annoyed that he couldn't tolerate it completely and affected her.In short, in order to reassure her and let her know how much he still loves her and how much he wants her to love, he has been looking for an opportunity that he could not get for more than two months, and now he has got it.Every word of his seemed to have a kind of poison, which made her just want to cry loudly. "I know it's my fault," said the woman when the man had finished speaking, "now I admit it all." "I'm not saying you're wrong. You're doing what a wise woman would do. Hearing people say that you dated him, I knew that you must love him in the end.He has cuteness, this is not my jealousy.Unless a woman is a stranger to him, as long as he is familiar with him, he will inevitably feel the power of this person's attraction.I also know you haven't completely forgotten me.But as I said, I am not great, I am an ordinary person.How can I not feel miserable, how can I go to that date knowing that every time you tidy up well and still not be sad? " He was still smiling wryly, but in fact he had calmed down in his heart. He said, "You tell me what you want. If we talk like this, everything will be regarded as a dream and I will wake up." But his eyes were still red.He listens to her.She spoke for him in a word that had turned into a joyful tune. "I know it's all my fault. A thousand mistakes can't redeem past actions. I see you suffer for me, and then I suffer even more for you. I think about dying when I'm almost sick. When I die, everything is over. I don't understand what right and hope I have to still be alive in this world. I don't hate anyone but myself. I hate that I am Women, it’s just impossible not to love a lovely man when you meet him. It’s not that I don’t love you after I love him, but I will forget you that time in his warmest embrace. He kissed I, I just thought about it in my heart: Oh, what a poor Chi! If he found out about this, wouldn’t it make him sad? He wanted me to go to bed, and I wanted to leave that place, but I couldn’t help but worry about that. The flattering words and the exquisite body of the tooth color seduce! After I did what he asked to satisfy him, I cried. I remembered you who was working alone on the desk with your head down. I cried. I regretted it I used five points of love at the right time and doubled the hate later. But it was no use. I couldn't resist the second temptation after three days. He was just as whole-hearted as you were five years ago Put it on my side. It's not like he doesn't care about you at all. Because what we did was unreasonable, he was afraid to see you. Your friendship was completely ruined by this incident. He has pity You, but this negative pity can't make him let me go, because not only he loves me, but I also love him. I know it's not a good thing to go on like this, so it's useless to persuade him to get married. What do you want me to do? He wants me I went to his place once a week, and I complied. He asked me to stop arguing with you over trivial matters. If I’m not here, I’ll just do that. He also asked me not to love him more deeply than I love you. I can’t lie here. I love him, love him with my heart, and I don't need to hide it now. But a lover's love will never affect a husband. Love is not a thing that is given to another and taken from the first.Love this and love that at the same time, there is no end to this matter, only God knows.I really thought of him many times when I held you in front of you, but I also thought of you under his kiss.For a season, I just felt that because of him, my newlywed enthusiasm for you, which has become a story, has also recovered.I felt that apart from a good husband, there should also be a lover, so I let him fall in love with me. ..." ………… one It's all said and done.He listened to his wife's story in a very understanding mood.He felt that he did not know half as much as the truth.As for her, she didn't expect that she would dare to finish speaking in front of him so completely.Both of them were amazed at their patience and boldness under such circumstances.Then they walked side by side on the cold road where no one walked, and turned to the rockery. "Chi, please forgive me." "You didn't do anything else you shouldn't do, how can I forgive you?" "It's a worst dream. I know he'll be gone soon, and I don't think either of us will do anything else—" "He let you go? I'm afraid he won't forgive you." When the woman heard this, she leaned on the man's shoulder and said that's not what she said.She asked him again: "Then do you hate him?" "If you want me to hate him, I'll hate him your way." The wife said shyly that she wanted him to love him.Yes, when a wife falls in love with another man, there are also reasons for her husband to follow him to love this man. This reason is based on self-esteem.Yet he promised to do so. When they went home to dinner, they looked like they had been in the first year of their marriage.But she secretly wrote a letter to the other he knew about the day's situation, and said that she would never be ashamed to see her husband again. December 1927 in Beijing