Chapter 104 life(23)

(not the end) On the night when Gao Sanxing brought Jialin's bedroll Li back to the village, most people in Gaojia Village knew about it.The whole village was very emotional, no one thought that the young man would end up in such a fate! Yude and his wife calmly accepted the bedroll brought back by Samsung, and also calmly accepted the fate of their son.They don't believe in anything else all their lives, they only believe in fate; they think that people have nothing to say in front of fate. It was Liu Liben who was satisfied with this matter, and he also thought that God finally opened his eyes and gave Gao Jialin the retribution he deserved.He ran to Minglou's house that night with great interest and asked Sanxing about the matter.

But his in-laws didn't show much interest.After hearing this, Ming Lou seemed to be in a very heavy mood.This is not to say that he sympathizes with Gao Jialin, but that he is sensitive to this incident and realizes that society is increasingly threatening people like them!Even a capable person like Zhan Sheng collapsed as soon as he said it. How capable is he as an illiterate rural cadre?Who knows when, maybe it will be liquidated on his head?In addition, his old heart disease also immediately committed.He thought that no matter what, Gao Jialin already hated him in his heart; in the future, they would have troubles in the same village, and this young man would be the one who bothered him the most.From this point of view, Minglou doesn't want Gao Jialin to come back, and would rather have him go outside and make a fortune!

While various people in the village were discussing Gao Jialin's return to the village that night, Liu Liben's wife and her eldest daughter, Qiaoying, were planning a feminist trick in a spare kiln in Liben's house... Early the next morning, Liben's eldest daughter, Qiaoying, carried a basket and left the village to hunt pigweed near the intersection of Dama River Bay.There wasn't much food for pigs in this place, and Qiaoying hadn't filled the bottom of the basket after working for a long time. Qiaoying didn't actually come to shoot pigweed!She was going to do the thing she and her mother planned last night here.In order to vent their anger, the two confused women decided that Qiaoying would block Gao Jialin who had returned to the village here today, and taunt him severely!Since all the men and women of the village were working in the fields around here this morning, it was a good place to make a fuss.At that time, people in the field will come to see Refu; and it will soon be windy and rainy on the Dama River up and down the river!It's going to ruin his reputation as a boy Gao Jialin!Tell him to be able again!

This matter was heard by Qiaoling outside the door when the mother and daughter were planning last night.The well-educated high school students went in to persuade their mother and sister not to do this. They would not laugh at Gao Jialin, but they would be the ones who would be ashamed!But two illiterate ladies and gentlemen scolded her, making Qiaoling go to sleep with another female teacher at the school that night.Qiaoying already has a child, and she is not as pretty as she was when she was a girl.But still looks great.At every meeting, there are even some strange boys from far away who think she is a girl and woo her wholeheartedly; she immediately scolds these people with the most ugly vulgar language of rural women.Unlike the two younger sisters, she inherited everything from her parents from the inside to the outside. Sometimes she is narrow-minded and shrewd to the point of confusion;This behavior at the moment is pure anger.

Now, while she was absent-mindedly cutting pigweed, she was watching the Qianchuan road carefully, thinking about how she would make this embarrassing for Gao Jialin.Her face was gloomy all the time, her lips were pouted, and she had already entered the role like an actor. She suddenly heard a flurry of footsteps behind her.Looking back, it turned out to be the eldest sister Qiaozhen!This is really Qiaozhen.She wears a plain calico shirt, blue trousers, and cloth shoes she made herself; her hair is also kept in the common "short cap" of the countryside.She had become in every way a young country woman, but she seemed even more attractive and beautiful than before.For those who are already beautiful.The simplicity of clothing can add beauty to people.Qiaozhen's face didn't have the special happiness of newlyweds, but she couldn't see the shadow left by the misfortune not long ago either.

"What are you doing here?" Qiaoying returned to her sister. "Sister, come back quickly! You must not do this! You are a joke!" Qiaozhen said, grabbing Qiaoying's cuff. "What are you kidding me about?" Qiaoying foolishly pretended to be surprised. "Good sister! Qiaoling ran to my place last night and told me everything. I was so anxious that I didn't fall asleep all night. This morning, I ran to our house and told my mother everything. Fan, she also thinks it's wrong; then I'll come..." "You are such a sufferer!" Qiaoying interrupted her, bit her lips with hatred, and remained silent for a long time.After a long while, she said angrily: "Gao Jialin not only humiliated you, but also beat our whole family with pig urine foam, full of embarrassment! You can bear this tone, you bear it! We But I can't bear it! I must give him a bad look today!"

"Good sister! He is pitiful enough now, if the wall falls and everyone pushes him, how will he survive in the future..." Qiaozhen said, tears were already spinning in her eyes.Qiaoying twisted her head stubbornly, and said, "Don't worry about it! This is my business!" Then, she threw the basket in her hand on the ground, sat down on a rock, and hugged her knees with both hands, like Like a rough man. Qiaozhen knelt down in front of Qiaoying, put her head in her sister's arms, choked up and said, "I kneel down for you! Sister! I beg you! Don't treat Jialin like this! Anyway, I feel sorry for him! If you punish Jialin like this, it will be like stabbing my heart with a knife..." Qiaoying's heart softened at once due to her kind character and great sympathy for her unfortunate sister.She wiped the teardrops from her eyes with one hand, and fondled Qiaozhen's head with the other hand, and said, "Zhenzhen, don't cry! My sister knows your heart! My sister is gone..." She After pausing for a long time, he suddenly sighed again and said, "I know in my heart that you love him the most. Alas! It would be great if this bad boy was expelled from the government and returned... What should we do now? I can see that this bad boy The kid actually loves you in his heart! Maybe he still wants you, but now..."

"No!" Qiaozhen raised her tear-stained face, "It's impossible, I'm married. Besides, I should spend my whole life with Ma Shuan! Ma Shuan is a good person, and he is good to me. I have already been hurt. I can't hurt Ma Shuan anymore..." Qiaoying let out another breath and said, "Then you go back. I'll go back too..." Then she stood up and took the basket Qiaozhen also stood up and asked, "Is your father-in-law at home?" "I'm here. What's the matter?" Qiaoying asked. "It's like this. I heard from Qiaoling last night that the commune may ask our school to add another teacher. After Jialin came back, he couldn't get used to working in the field. I want to see if he can teach again. Ma Shuan It belongs to the school management committee. He said last night that Madian Village has him, and that he must represent Madian Village to tell the commune. In our village, your father-in-law is in charge of the matter. I want to take you to ask Uncle Minglou. Let Jialin go to teach again. You must speak for me next to me, you are his daughter-in-law, you have more face than me..." Qiaoying opened her mouth in surprise, staring at her sister for a long time.She took up the basket with one arm, came over and put the other arm around Qiaozhen's shoulder, and said, "Then let's go back! Sister, you really have a heart of a Buddha..."

Before dawn, Gao Jialin quietly left the county party committee compound with his bare hands.He hurried through the deserted street, staggering, numb, his tall man was not as straight as usual, and his back was slightly hunchbacked; his absent-minded eyes were sunken in their sockets, without a trace of light, and his hair was disheveled Like a clump of thatch.The whole face seemed to be covered with a layer of dust, and there seemed to be a few thin wrinkles on the forehead.What a handsome and handsome young man, he suddenly seems to be many years older! Until now, Gao Jialin felt like a beggar with nothing.He felt that he was alone, without a village in front of him, or a store in his back.He didn't know what road he came from, and what road he was going to...

When he walked to the Dama River Bridge, he fell weakly on the railing of the bridge.Under the bridge, the clear Dama River shone with blue waves before dawn, passed through the bridge hole, and merged into the county river that widened in early autumn.The muddy yellow water of the county river calmly bypassed the city and flowed to an invisible distance. He caressed the railing of the bridge, remembering that Qiaozhen was standing here waiting for him when he returned from selling buns for the first time; remembering that in this same place, he had cruelly severed ties with her not long ago... Now he Here again, but what else does he have now?His fantasy job and dream of living in a big city in the future were shattered, and Huang Yaping retreated to the vision of his life; Liu Qiaozhen, who was coldly abandoned by him, is now married to someone else.He really wanted to jump off this bridge!Who is to blame for all this?After thinking about it, he no longer blames anyone, but hates himself: his tragedy was caused by himself!He abandoned the principles of life for the sake of vanity, and ended up like this today!He gradually understood that if he continued like this, he would have escaped the punishment of life this time, and he would not be able to escape the next punishment—at that time, he might be completely destroyed...

Severe real life is the best way to educate people. It makes Gao Jialin reduce some fanaticism at this moment and enhance some power of self-reflection.He further thought: If he went to Nanjing with Huang Yaping, would he really be happy in his life?Will he be able to make his way in life as he imagined?Will Yaping love the land forever?Who knows how many people in Nanjing are better than him, and there is no guarantee that she will no longer love other men in the future, and she will dump him aside, just like dumping Zhang Kenan.However, if he married Qiaozhen, she could guarantee that Qiaozhen would love him forever.They live in the countryside a little bit harder all their lives, but they will live happily... Now, he has easily discarded the most precious things in life!He did something unconscionable!The words of my father and Master Deshun came true. He harmed others and himself!He messed up the lives of many people, and messed up his own life... Dawn has come quietly without knowing when.The lights of the county town were extinguished one after another, and everything on the earth took off the black clothes of the night in a natural and soft light, showing their respective faces.The season has entered early autumn, and the crops and trees in the hills and rivers have been mixed with yellow spots in the green. The city was already bustling again.The day's life began its rhythm as usual.Gao Jialin glanced at the county town shrouded in blue mist, then turned his head, crossed the bridge, and turned into the Dama River. He was walking on the simple road in the middle of Zhuang Toudi, feeling a kind of discomfort that he had never experienced in his heart.How many times has he walked up and down this road.From this road to the city, and from this road to the countryside.This short ten-mile dirt road is so long for him!It also symbolizes the life path he has traveled - short and winding!He plucked a willow tree tip, and while walking, gently whipped the weeds on the side of the road, thinking: What will people think of him when he returns to the village?How would he start living there again?Dear Qiaozhen is gone!If she was there, he wouldn't be as uncomfortable and painful as he is now.Her love, as hot as fire and as gentle as water, would wash away all his troubles.But now...he couldn't help but stood on the road all of a sudden, opened his mouth in pain, wanted to scream loudly, but couldn't make a sound!He frantically tugged at his chest with both hands, and the buttons on his coat flew off one by one. The morning sun shines on the field in early autumn, and the earth immediately shows a colorful color.On the green leaves of crops and grass, dewdrops glisten.The dirt road under my feet is moist and there is no yellow dust.Gao Jialin walked unsteadily on the road, stopped after a few steps, stood for a while before walking... One mile away from the village, he heard a group of children chirping on the hillside across the river, and among them he heard a boy shouting: "Teacher Gao is back..." He knew it was the firewood doll from their village , are his past students. Suddenly, a child sang Xintianyou on the opposite hillside—— Brother, you are not good enough, you sold your conscience to come back... The children all laughed and ran into the ditch chattering. Although this ancient ballad was sung from the mouth of a child, its profound condemnation still made Gao Jialin feel thrilled.He knew that these children were singing for him.well!The children hated him so much, let alone the adults in the village. Not far away, he saw his own village.A dense jujube grove concealed the first half of the village; the other half stretched out in the mouth of the ditch, which he could not see. He couldn't help but stopped, and looked sadly at his familiar hometown.Everything is the same - but for him, everything is different again... At this moment, many villagers who had just landed in the fields got out of the crop fields here and there, and ran towards him one after another. He didn't know what was going on, so the people in the village surrounded him one after another and began to ask him questions.Everyone's words, expressions, and eyes did not contain any malice or ridicule, but showed sincerity.Everyone is still chattering to comfort the ground. "Come back when you come back, don't be discouraged!" "There are only a handful of peasants in the world! There are always a small number of people who go out and work as cadres!" "Our countryside is suffering, and there are also benefits of our countryside! Not to mention, the food is fresh!" "Take your time, and you can go out if you have the opportunity in the future." ....Dear parents and folks!When one person is lucky, they may hide from you far away; but when you fall, everyone stretches out their strong hands to help you.Their great sympathy will always be given to the less fortunate!Gao Jialin couldn't help but burst into tears.He couldn't say a word, he just took out his cigarettes and gave each of them a cigarette. After the farmers greeted and comforted him, they all went down to the field again. When the elevated forest walked towards the village again, I felt a little looser like a gust of wind blowing through my body.He looked up at the thick crops all over the river, at the village shrouded in dense green, and felt a deep emotion in his heart for this simple and rich hometown field, as if he had been away from it for a long time, and now Just came back... When he turned off the road and walked to the intersection of Dama River Bend, his legs suddenly became weak and he couldn't walk anymore.He soon remembered that he and Qiaozhen had parted ways in this place the first time they came back from the county—and now they had parted forever.He also remembered that when he left the village to work in the county town, Qiaozhen sent him off at this very place.Now that he is back, she will never come to pick him up again... He is sitting on a rock, his body is as hot as a fire.He covered his eyes with both hands, and his head hung limply on his chest.He really doesn't know how to live in the future?He murmured: "My dear! If only I didn't lose you..." Tears immediately flowed from his fingers like a fountain... It took a long time for Gao Jialin to raise his head.He suddenly found that Grandpa Deshun was squatting in front of him.He didn't know when Grandpa Deshun squatted in front of him, he just squatted quietly, smoking a pipe. Seeing him raise his head, he smiled and said, "Do you still have tears?" Then the wrinkles on his face shrank to the corners of his eyes, shook his snow-white head, and said sadly, "Baby, come back and work." Don’t be afraid, labor is not cheap! But you lost a piece of gold! Qiaozhen, that’s a piece of gold!” "Grandpa, I feel sad. Don't talk about it now. I also know now that I have already got gold, but I threw it away like a Tugeta. Now I feel that life is really meaningless, and I really want to die..." "Nonsense!" Grandpa Deshun stood up suddenly, "You are only twenty-four years old, how can you have such stupid ideas? If you say that, I should have died! I, a lonely old man who is almost seventy years old , have no children, and have been single all my life. But I still feel hot every day, wanting to live for a few more years! Don't say you are still a baby! Although I have no wife and children, I think life is always interesting. I have loved and suffered; I have labored with these two hands, planted grains, planted trees, repaired roads... Aren’t these life interesting?——Happiness in the words of you young people. Happiness! You don’t know, I picked the fruit from my tree and distributed it to the dolls in the village. How happy I am! Didn’t you, how many fruits of mine did you eat when you were young? You know, when I planted a bowl tree, I thought in my heart, after I die, people of later generations will pick and eat fruit from that tree, and they will say that it was planted by the old bachelor Deshun in the village..." The old man in Deshun spoke emotionally, as if he was teaching Jialin, and also as if he was taking this opportunity to summarize his own life. He was like a passionate old poet and a philosopher; The old hands were shaking violently. Gao Jialin stood up suddenly.Although the proud high school student has studied international issues, read many books, knows about Khomeini and Bani Sadr, and knows about Reagan's neutron bomb policy, he never imagined that this old bachelor farmer covered in patches would, in his life When I was disappointed, I told him such a profound life lesson.He looked at the old wrinkled face of dear Grandpa Deshun, and two sparks floated in his lost eyes again.Grandpa Deshun wiped the sweat off his face with his patched cuff, and said: "I heard that you are coming back this morning, so I will wait for you here and want to say a few words to you. Your heart is so dear." It can’t fall! Don’t look down on our mountains and villages anymore.” He pointed the surrounding land, mountains and rivers with his thin fingers, and said, “It’s the mountains, the water, and the land that feed the people from generation to generation. We are gone. Without this land, there would be nothing in the world! Yes, there would be nothing! As long as we love to work, everything will be fine. Besides, the party's policy is right now, and now life is day by day. Change for the better. Our future in the countryside is bright, and you can’t give in to your talent! Don’t be discouraged, baby! A man is not afraid of falling, if he is afraid of falling, if he doesn’t get up, he will become a dead dog... " "Grandpa, your words enlightened me, I will remember it, and I will start living again. Just now I met other people in the village in Qianchuan, and they also gave me a lot of reassuring words. Oh, I Now I'm worried that Gao Minglou and Liu Liben's family will trouble me in the future, so look at me..." "Ah, don't worry about it! Just because of this, I went to Minglou's house to look for him just now. His father and I were sworn brothers back then, so I dare to teach him! I've already told him clearly and told him Don't mess with you again... Oh, I forgot to tell you! I went to Minglou's house just now, and I met Qiaozhen begging Minglou to let him go to the commune to do some work and let you teach again! Qiaozhen It brought tears to his nose! Minglou also agreed immediately. For some reason, his daughter-in-law Qiaoying also helped Qiaozhen speak. Don’t worry, it’s okay if you can’t teach well, just start living your life again... ...Ah, Qiaozhen, what a doll! That heart is like gold... like gold..." The old man Deshun burst into tears, and suddenly he was so choked up that he couldn't continue speaking.Gao Jialin fell at Grandpa Deshun's feet, clutching two handfuls of loess tightly with both hands, moaning in pain, and shouted: "Where are my relatives..." In the summer of 1981, the first draft was in Ganquan, northern Shaanxi, and in the autumn of the same year, it was revised in Xi'an and Xianyang, and then in Beijing in the winter.