Chapter 55 You can never think of 2-(Zheng Xiaofang)

As the day of graduation approaches, the class and department are in chaos.Although the distribution plan has not yet been announced, some people already know their fate through relationships.So, some were laughing, some were crying, some were making trouble, some were running around looking for relationships, everything was chaotic.I am at peace because my fate has been arranged by myself.The leaders of the department have talked to me many times and wanted me to stay in school, but I refused and asked to be assigned where I was going.Of course the leader would no longer do my job, but instead praised me.Since I had no conflict of interest with anyone else, the class respected me as usual.Others can't do it. In order to compete for a good position, or suspect that someone has dismantled one's position, or guess that someone has squeezed out the position that one has already obtained, they fight openly and covertly, as chaotic as the Spring and Autumn Period and the Warring States Period.The sight of suspicion and resentment among people who had lived together for four years was unbearable.Li Hong, who was in my dormitory, had a cloudy face a few days ago, but suddenly the sun is shining again these days. According to her, it was because I didn’t stay in school that the position was given to her.She said she wanted to thank me.I congratulated her and pointed out that she should not thank me.She is good at studying, and she lost her father since she was a child, and her mother has been sick for many years, so she should stay at home and work.

After dinner, Li Hong brought me a letter from the school gate.This is what Xue Feng wrote to me.The content of the letter is very simple, let me go to the old place at eight o'clock the next morning, he has something important to say to me.He also put an emphasis under the words "important things".I bet he doesn't have much to do.Otherwise, instead of writing, he would come to me by bicycle.After breakfast the next day, I borrowed Li Hong's bicycle and rushed to our "old place".The old place where we met was the gate of Nanjiao Park.But usually we don't go to the park, but meet here, and then ride together to the ditch in a wheat field behind the Provincial Third Hospital.It has reached the outskirts and is very secluded.It should be said that this is our real "old place".We've been to this place countless times.Here we watch the wheat seedlings turn green, flourish, and turn yellow; then we watch the wheat being harvested, and the interplanted corn grow up again, spit out red tassels, and conceive cobs.We've had sweet whispers here and secretly kissed too...

I rode my bicycle through the busy streets. The whole city was panting under the scorching sun.Even if there is a wind blowing from the face, it is still hot.Pedestrians were weak, wiping sweat while walking.There was an air of laziness in the street.The energy and intelligence of the people seemed to be evaporated by the heat of the sun.When I arrived at the gate of the park, I saw Xue Feng was already standing there, with his bicycle propped beside him, and a bulging yellow schoolbag was stuck on the back seat of the car, which probably contained soft drinks, beer and other beverages and snacks.It was like this every time. He bought most of the food and drink, but I gave him money afterwards.He spends a lot of money, and I have to support him constantly.Seeing me coming, he stepped into his car without saying a word.So we rode side by side to our dear "old place".

On the way, I asked him, "What's the matter?" He smiled and said, "It's nothing, I miss you..." I was embarrassed to look at him again, and said, "I haven't seen each other for a month... have you finished your internship?" We are a paradise, no one will come to take our place." Xue Feng did not speak, and smiled at me faintly. We quickly arrived at a place we frequent. Among the small poplar bushes by the canal, Xue Feng put soda, beer and some snacks on a small plastic sheet that he brought with him, and we sat next to each other just like in the past.Trees and thick reeds separated them from the outside world.It is far away from the noisy city, and the surroundings are quiet.It starts with, as usual, wordless intimacy.At this moment, almost everything in the world is forgotten, only our tender feelings flow quietly in our hearts.I remembered a few lines of M. Duggin's poem he read to me: a pair of big deep eyes, twinkling really meaningful.Be silent, your silence now will make my mind clearer than your exhausted words... After a while, I asked Xue Feng: "Is there really something important?"

He smiled again, without speaking, turned around and took out a newspaper from the yellow schoolbag beside him and handed it to me.This is yesterday's provincial newspaper.I quickly found his name in the backpage.It's a poem he co-wrote with another guy called "Easy." Only then did I realize what the important thing he said was. Of course I'm happy for him.Any of his accomplishments can arouse my unspeakable pride.For some reason I began to question him in a roundabout way. "Where is this 'Jin Song'?" "My classmate." He said. "Male or female?" He laughed, turning his face away.

"What are you laughing at! Answer me!" "Female." He was still smiling. I am silent.You know what's on my mind right now. He took out a notebook from his schoolbag, took out a photo and handed it to me.I didn't answer.He blocked the photo in front of my eyes and said, "Is this woman pretty?" I saw a photo of him and a man.I couldn't help but smile embarrassedly at my jealousy just now.He said, "This is Jinsong." "Is it a pseudonym?" "Yes." "How tacky! Still using such a pseudonym now, it smells like the Cultural Revolution!"

Xue Feng put the photo away and said, "His name is Yue Zhiming, and his father is a member of the Standing Committee of our Provincial Party Committee and the head of the organization." I said, "Is this song written by him or by you? I really don't understand that two people can work together." Write poetry!" "Of course I wrote the poems by myself." "Then why sign his name?" Xue Feng was silent for a while, avoided my question, and said, "I'm going to write a novel recently. I think the volume of poetry is too small..." "After finishing writing, sign the name of 'Jin Song'." I said sarcastically.

He looked at me calmly and said, "I'm going to do this." It's really hard for me to understand him.I said unceremoniously: "You flatter this person because his father is a high official, right? How did you become such a person? What relationship does he and his father have with you? Why do you have to do this!" Xue Feng didn't look at me, he lowered his head and scratched on the ground with a branch, saying: "His father has nothing, but his mother..." "What happened to his mother?" "His mother is the director of the distribution office of the Provincial Education Bureau."

I suddenly stared at my dear Xue Feng who was scribbling on the ground in amazement.I am sensitively aware, is there some kind of change that will appear between me and him?I also understood that he did have something 'important' to tell me today, but it wasn't the poem he published. I asked, "So what?" He stopped scribbling on the ground, raised his head, put his arms around my shoulders, and said, "Xiaofang, let me be straight, we can't go back to the place we said we were going to!" "Why!" I hurriedly yelled at him. "We have to try to stay in this city. Only by staying here can we develop ourselves better." "What did we say?"

"I said..." "You've never changed your mind before." "Because of this, once awakened, I feel even more anxious." I never imagined that he had changed so much.I couldn't react for a while, I just asked him in a hurry: "When did you change your mind?" "I don't know either. Anyway, I have decided now. Of course, I didn't seriously think about it before, and I didn't do the work beforehand. Now I just think of something. I wrote something with Yue Zhiming for this purpose. I promised to satisfy him. Vanity, he promised to help me and you. I want to work for the "Northern" magazine, and you will stay in the Forestry College..." "No!" Tears filled my eyes unconsciously. "I have already told the school that I will not stay in school. Now the people who stay in school have been determined."

"This can be changed." "No! No! No!" I was just yelling, feeling extremely uncomfortable.For the first time, I vaguely felt that even though Xue Feng still put his arm around my shoulder affectionately, there was something between him and me. I felt this, but for some reason, I leaned closer on him. An unprecedented sadness and pain flooded my heart, just like seeing a terrible disease entangled in my relatives.Yes, I will not hate and avoid him, I will find a way to restore him to health.can i do this I was so flustered that I seemed to think he was really ill, so I couldn't help but run my hands over his broad forehead.No fever, body temperature is normal.In my haste, I couldn't make any rationale to convince him, so Baohao begged him: "Let's go back to our hometown! I beg you, we can't get used to living in the city for the rest of our lives..." "We will get used to it slowly Yes. I'm used to it. I won't be used to it when I go back!" he interrupted. "Then consider it from our career. I majored in soil and water conservation, and I can better use my professional knowledge when I return to the mountains and deserts. If you are engaged in literature, you can only write good works in life..." "This is not a reason. Your major can train more talents for the construction of the four modernizations. I stay in the literary journals so that my talents will not be obliterated. Many great writers since the May Fourth Movement have been editors of publications. As for Life, as long as there are living people, there is life. Therefore, this cannot be a reason for us not to keep big cities." He said eloquently. "Yes, maybe that's not the reason..." He broke free from his arms and said to him, "When did you become so worldly? The ideals we value, the dedication we value, we You don't want anything you've always cherished like a child?" I felt my heart pounding. "We're not kids now..." he said. Yes, we are not children anymore.my dear!We grew up, but we started bickering and splitting up.If this is the case, then I would rather the two of us be children forever! I feel dizzy and dry mouth.I never imagined that such a situation would arise between us. Looking at his pretty face, I couldn't help but blurt out: "Then let's break up and go our separate ways!" He jumped up from the ground and looked at me in surprise. I also stood up, and couldn't help but threw myself into his arms, crying bitterly.How I suffer: for him, for me, for us. "Xiaofang, go back and think about it. We won't talk about it today. I believe you will agree with my decision." He gently stroked my hair and said softly. I did not speak again.That's not to say I've obeyed him.