Chapter 42 On difficult days (3)
Gradually, I was forgotten by everyone—that is to say, my classmates have become accustomed to my poverty, unlike when I first came, everything about me was "fresh" to everyone.It is not a good thing for a person to be forgotten by those around him.But for me, it's a dream come true.Thankfully, that's just fine.In my position, what more dare I hope?I only pray for a little peace of mind, so that I can go all out to deal with that terrible hunger!
Alas, speaking of hunger, it is indeed getting worse.Not long ago, my father asked someone to send a message, saying that he would not be able to send me another grain in the past six months.I had expected this.I know that even the dozen or so catties of sorghum delivered a month ago was saved from his own mouth. Although I was hungry, I still hadn't run out of grains. Who knows what my poor father is living on now?Alas, I'm so hungry right now, except that it doesn't rain, I just messed up a lot of things in recent years!First, everyone went to smelting steel, chopped off the good ones, and threw them into the fire; smashed the cooking pot, and burned them into iron lumps; Do crops!Later, large canteens were set up in the countryside, and the whole village ate together in a big pot, saying that communism had been reached.Within a few months, the food was wasted.Now that we have encountered this continuous disaster year, how many people have been starved to death!I didn't think about it (and didn't need to think about it), so I reduced the "hundred-name" food that I brought when I started school again from the daily amount by half.In this way, there is almost no food to eat in a day.Two bowls of clear water rice soup that others drink as soup is a day's food.As for food, I dare not even think about it, because apart from the necessary tuition and miscellaneous expenses, I hardly have a dime on me.
Hunger often gave me bouts of dizziness.He staggered to and fro while walking, and had to support something with his hands from time to time so as not to fall over.During the break, the students all went outside the classroom for activities.I didn't dare to stand up, so I just lay down on the table to rest.I even feel that the head is a heavy burden—how the rest of the poor body is struggling to support it in order to prevent the noble one from slumping before the world!
Hunger robbed me of my strength to go out into the fields.Because what you are looking for can no longer make up for the calories you need to consume.Except for class, I curled up on my broken wool felt all day long, swallowing saliva.I can't eat anything during the day, but as soon as I fall asleep at night, I dream that I am chewing.I've developed a morbid desire for food that interferes so much that I can't even listen to class.When I was studying mathematics, I couldn't help but use the newly learned mathematical formulas to repeatedly calculate the best way to eat my rations; when I was studying Chinese, whenever I encountered nouns related to food, my thinking would stay on these words because of persistence; When I was in chemistry class, I began to imagine whether I could use the substances that I could pick up to combine to make something to eat...
This situation finally led to an embarrassing situation: During the exam, my second place in the county suddenly became the second to last in the class (just ahead of Zhou Wenming)!I knew it would be today!But when faced with this reality, the pain and shock left me dumbfounded.Since I was in the first grade of elementary school, my academic performance has never been so bad!
After the results were announced that afternoon, everyone left quickly.I was alone in the empty classroom, like a helpless orphan.My only spiritual comfort was shattered, and this gave me the first real feeling of inferiority.I know it's terribly scary.I thought dejectedly: If I could have a full meal before the exam, my proud academic performance might not suddenly fall to such a disgraceful position.In the examination room, I was so hungry that I was dizzy, and even my general logical reasoning was messed up in an emergency.This is indeed true.However, I am not ashamed to justify myself with such reasons!
what to do?There is no other way but to chase up desperately!Otherwise, it is completely depraved!In order to regain the glory of the past, I started a desperate struggle again.At night, I forced myself to get up from the broken wool felt and rushed to the classroom to review my homework.As long as you don't faint, just lie on your stomach on the desk.I'm ready to pay any price to get ahead again.Even if you die in the classroom all at once!I said to myself: die and die!So disappointing, what are you doing alive?I endure the poverty of life, but the backwardness in study is unbearable. This is real poverty.I have to be at the top of this competition again, I know that this kind of "race" is extremely difficult for me, because my legs are always tied with hungry "sandbags"; Shout "Come on" to yourself.In order to stimulate my motivation to study, I even made an Ah Q-style wish for myself; when I pass the exam next time, I will definitely have a full meal!Then he laughed dumbfounded at the bragging he had given himself.
But before long, I really had a chance to have a full meal—but I would rather be slapped in the face than have a full meal!
When the National Day came, I killed a few lean pigs I had fed on the school stove, and prepared a meal for the afternoon meeting-in fact, I gave everyone a spoonful of meat dishes for free.These days, eating a spoonful of meat and vegetables is not only rare for a hungry man like me, but other students also salivate when they mention eating meat.In the morning, Wu Yaling, the life officer, called a brief class meeting.She told everyone that the cooks on the school stove were too busy to cook because of the dinner party, so each class had to go to a classmate to help the stove; go.Before everyone could say anything, Wu Yaling announced again: "I think Ma Jianqiang should go." There was a restrained "boom" laugh in the classroom.Wu Yaling seemed a little surprised by the laughter, but the whole class had unanimously approved her proposal in this way.
This is another insult!With the "boom" laughter of the whole class, the blood all over my body rushed to my head with a "boom", and I felt that my consciousness and soul were about to leave my body and fly to somewhere.My hands were trembling on the table, and I was eager to grab something hard to control myself for a while.I don't know when the classmates left the classroom.It took me a long time to feel that my hands under the table were sticky and sweaty.I took it out and saw that the precious "Minsheng" brand pen was broken in my hand, and the blue ink stained my hands.I felt fire-like hot air from my nose and mouth.I hate this Wu Yaling!Originally, the classmates had "forgotten" me, but today she made everyone mock me so casually again!I decided to help the stove.However, I thought to myself: Anyone who has the sinister idea that I have finally accepted this "fat position" let him wait and see!snort!
The outdoor weather is very good, and the blue sky in late autumn looks pure and lofty.The big playground, which has been trampled hard by people, is glaring white in the sun.There was no wind, and the rows of small-leaved poplars around the playground stood quietly with their dry leaves covered with a layer of dust.When I walked across the playground to the kitchen, I saw many red and green slogans posted on the campus, and the blackboard newspapers of each class were also replaced with new content. The titles were written in various artistic characters with colored chalk.The students wandered around the campus in twos and threes, laughing and mopping each other up. The art teams of each class were also preparing programs for the evening party. There were harmonious choruses and piercing plum flute solos coming from here and there.Even in these times of grave trouble, the holiday season is always more cheerful than usual.This atmosphere also gave me an infection, which made my mood calm down a little.
When I walked through the middle of the playground, I accidentally saw Wu Yaling and our class monitor Zheng Dawei, standing under a blackboard newspaper in the outer class, pointing fingers and commenting on each other.I couldn't help but stop, and glanced at their triumphant backs with a kind of indifference. "Shameless!" I cursed in my heart.
Wu Yaling is the figure that the whole school pays attention to.All beautiful and lively women always attract people's attention wherever they go.Our Life Officer falls into this category.She is indeed beautiful, she can dance and sing, and she is also the best among the female students in the class.In addition, she is the daughter of the Minister of Armed Forces of Shan County, which makes her even more different.She is beautiful, but she doesn't dress herself up very deliberately, and even only wears an old men's military uniform that has been re-cut most of the time-but this is more original and eye-catching than deliberately dressing up!
Needless to say, the male students in the class love to be close to her.Especially Zhou Wenming, the cultural and sports officer, if Wu Yaling talked to him a few words, his face would be flushed with joy all day long.However, Zheng Dawei was the only male classmate who seemed to be really good friends with this "school belle".Zheng Dawei is the son of the deputy magistrate of Zheng. He is the first in the county's high school entrance examination this year. He looks smart from the inside out. He usually wears a pair of white-rimmed glasses, and he speaks and behaves like a teacher.I vaguely heard people say that David Zheng and Wu Yaling's fathers had led the guerrillas together in our county during the war years, and they were old comrades in arms.It is said that their parents were engaged when they were born; it is also said that they have been classmates since kindergarten and are now in a relationship!Falling in love is still quite a mysterious thing for people of our age, so whether it is true or not, it is always quite new to the students.I know that the naughty classmates in the class usually talk about my shabbiness, but they are probably talking about the long and short of the two of them.To be honest, I have no interest in this kind of thing-I can't even fill my stomach, and I care about people's love and romance?
When my eyes left them, suddenly for some reason, another indescribable feeling suddenly came up in my heart.I still hate Wu Yaling (this kind of hatred has also spread to Zheng Dawei, who is close to her), but I feel a little regretful about my cruel psychology just now.In a hurry, I couldn't figure out what caused this sudden emotion.When I got to the kitchen, I gradually figured out the reason for this remorse—this is: if I don’t hold any prejudices, to be honest, in my opinion, the two of them together really give people a sense of happiness. The feeling of beauty.Their fitness and beauty, excellent studies, equal families, etc., blend together, as perfect as a curved arch made of marble of the same material, which is enviable and admirable!Although I resisted this realization emotionally just now, at the same time reason quickly came to this conclusion.Therefore, I later regretted my cruelty when I saw them standing together-cursing beauty is a shameful sentiment, and I should not be lowered to this level.But in this way, the insult Wu Yaling brought to me became more and more unbearable to me.I can stop cursing her now, but I still want to hate her: you have food, clothing and happiness, I am not jealous of you, but why do you trample on a poor person's self-esteem like this?In the school kitchen, I silently chopped meat, chopped vegetables, washed rice, and kneaded noodles, without smelling the aroma of food at all.I even felt that the pig's head that was cooking in the pot seemed to be laughing at me for helping to eat them.Damn, I can't wait to take these pig heads on the chopping board and chop them up with an ax!
No, let these things go to hell!Even if it's delicacies from mountains and seas, or elixir of life, I wouldn't take it today!Half an hour before dinner, I slipped out of the kitchen.I don't even have the desire to drink a bowl of clear rice soup with my meal ticket.
With a feeling of resentment, I came to a hillside behind the school silently.Her legs were limp, and she plopped down on a field of potatoes that had just been harvested. She couldn't help but snuggle her face on the soft ground, just like snuggling into her mother's arms when she was wronged when she was a child, sobbing silently.In front of people, I am strong, but when I am alone, my feelings are often fragile, and I often cannot hold back tears... I opened my eyes and saw the beautiful sunset smiling towards the earth in the mountains in the west Say goodbye.I know how long I slept just now.I tried to stand up, but I didn't even have the strength in me.The stomach sac was spasming in pain, and the armor was like claws pulling at the internal organs.Immediately, my two hands subconsciously scratched the ground frantically—because I thought of this newly harvested soil, maybe I could find a few potatoes left by the owner.
After a frantic digging effort, the results were very disappointing.In this famine year, people harvested very carefully, and would not easily leave edible things in the field.However, a burst of joy finally made me tremble with excitement-my right hand finally touched a round and big guy deep in the ground!
With a happy mood, I slowly dug this precious egg out of the ground, and as a result, all the happiness disappeared immediately: it turned out to be a stone egg!With a feeling of despair, I once again sat down on the ground dejectedly.After sleeping on the ground for a long time, the humidity made the whole body itchy, and the two muddy hands were busy for a long time but couldn't stop it.At this moment, I suddenly found that there seemed to be a potato vine still growing on the ground in a small depression next to it.This attraction immediately made me stand up briskly, and like a dog discovering a rabbit, I jumped over and pulled the dry vine with my hands: Oh my God, it is really still growing on the ground!
I dug out five round and big potatoes, held them in my hand and looked over one by one, smiling silly for a long time.
I quickly picked up some dried potato vines, lit a fire, and started my own "National Day dinner".At this time, the sky was getting dark, and there were boiling human voices on the school playground, the chaotic tuning of various musical instruments, and some untrained sopranos were hanging their throats with "ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" Ugly sound... The National Day Gala is about to start soon.I don't care about that!My next show is: Eat Burnt Potatoes!I had just carefully buried the five precious eggs in the fire, when I suddenly saw a person walking towards me in the dim twilight.