Chapter 53 necessary loss

In September 1994 in Dali, Yunnan, I met a mentally disturbed person while walking one evening.I was walking on the river bank at that time, the air was cool, and under the bright moon, I could see the blue silhouette of Cangshan Mountain.There are few pedestrians on the river bank, and the moonlight makes the river bright.When I walked on a bridge, I suddenly met a person at one end of the stone bridge.He was dressed in clean clothes, and looked at the flowing water under the bridge with a smile, as if his bride, who was as beautiful as a fairy, was in the water.The simple stone bridge, the calm river, and the clear moonlight, this scene full of classical feelings made me curious about the man, or he was tempting me.The moonlight painted a layer of soft brilliance on his face, and I saw that he had an ordinary appearance, and he was smiling ecstatically, looking at the river motionlessly.If it weren't for his consistent and unscrupulous smile, I would never have thought that he was a psychopath.When I realized he was mentally disturbed, he turned around and walked towards me, and I boldly said hello, "Hi, hello!" He didn't stop, but he smiled at me, and Laughed out loud.He passed me by. Like most mentally disturbed people, he walks very loosely, unsteadily, with a sense of carefreeness.

I imagine why he is insane?love?money?that power?cause?I thought about all kinds of things that can restrict, shackle and seduce people in this secular life, but in the end I was still in a fog, and I couldn't get any answers.But one thing is for sure, he lost the job title, housing treatment, official position, money, honor, etc. that the worldly people have to work for, work hard, fight openly and secretly, and so on. What?Maybe it's just love.What remains must be unique, simple, eternal, and persistent.This stuff brought him serenity, peace, serenity and detachment.But reaching this state must be at the cost of loss.

That smile he gave me often alerted me, and it reminded me of Rilke, who, throughout his life, had striven for a sense of solitude that sometimes was broken by friends or relatives and he would leave. They go.Is this loneliness the only classical poetic beauty left in the mind of the insane?When distance arises, the good qualities of objectivity, sobriety and calmness must appear in people, and distance always presupposes loss. Necessary loss is a facilitation and protection of the imagination.Many places with beautiful mountains and rivers and profound cultural background have frequently produced great scholars, but there are very few great artists. I always thought that such a perfect environment did not give the imagination the power to fly, but the desolate and remote barren land did. Imagination provides a wider space.It's a pity that such a place lacks sufficient spiritual supplies.Without a sense of satisfaction and self-comfort, the longing will stand out from the shortcomings, loss, and humiliation, and the longing will become more dazzling than the reality itself.

Is nostalgia also a kind of loss?I think so.Although the form of nostalgia itself is picking up and disconnecting, as far as the nostalgic thing itself is concerned, it is the removal and betrayal of all things that have passed away, because you are not nostalgic for all things that have passed away, but only for one thing. If you have a special liking, then you are nostalgic, which means that you have lost most of your past life. You have judged a thing worth recalling with experience and reason, and this thing is eternal for you.Almost all writers have nostalgia, this pick-up is really a bang loss, and this loss is necessary.

So what about longing?Is it also a loss?I think longing is also a kind of loss.Longing is the flight of imagination, it is a kind of sublation and challenge to reality.Reality is too full or too mediocre, and longing will soar upwards, looking for its own sunshine and rain.Longing to escape from the world is, of course, a loss of many worldly lives. Nostalgia and longing, these are two essential good qualities in a writer, and their production is accompanied by loss.But no one can be nostalgic and longing for every moment, it needs nutritional supplements, that is, it needs to cultivate a sense of loneliness in people.An artist's ethos bordering on eccentricity.A person who is all-round and lacks individuality will never become an artist, because he (she) embraces everything, lacks inquiry, doubt, calmness and honesty, and thus cannot produce distance and beauty.

I thought again of the man I met on the Marble Bridge.I used to call them psychopaths like most people do, but I don't think so anymore.First of all, I am not sure that this is a disease. Of course, I cannot say that he is a patient.We look at them with the eyes of ordinary people. Their absence and supernormal state actually cause our own panic. Their desperate and complete loss puzzles us, so we think they are sick.There is a little common sense that explains the problem. Almost the symptoms of most diseases are accompanied by depression, anxiety, irritability, and panic. When you have such emotions in your body, you may be sick.The insane, on the other hand, exhibit an intoxicating calm, peace, and joy, as evidenced by the smiles on their faces.They have overcome depression, anxiety, irritability and panic, and maybe there is only one pure thing in their hearts. When they look at us, do they think that we are sick, but they are normal?Because what we call normal is based on the behavior of ordinary people, so I can only think that they are mentally disturbed, or spiritual wanderers.

How much has to be lost to reach that state?I dare not imagine.Maybe they also have nostalgia and longing, just like us.