Chapter 4 justice supper

While Lu Wei was walking west, Peng Lei was walking east.When they meet, they think of the same woman.Lu Wei thought of the woman's unexpected meekness when she left, "What do you want to eat tonight?" He replied: "Maybe I won't come back to eat." She continued: "Be careful on the way." Peng Lei looked at a room on the third floor of the community. On the balcony, there is a piece of green underwear hanging on it, that is the passport.It's time to come, my husband is going out. There is a lecture hall in the suburbs.Ten years ago it was a church, with a high ceiling and a vast space, and the moss-covered walls exuded yin, and people entered it as if they were reminded, and they could not help but be silent.When the fan-shaped seats are full, it looks like pious hungry wolves, surrounding the small and lonely podium.There is always a big light from the zenith, which makes the speaker extremely exposed, including the slight twitching of the corners of the mouth—as if being stripped naked, Lu Wei thought.Once he just went up to accept the award, shook hands, bowed, and stepped back from the stage. In just a short time, he had an irregular heartbeat and shortness of breath.

Lu Wei repeatedly read the speech.Praise and criticize cautiously, without losing your character, without losing face for others, there is no problem.What is problematic is the state that can occur while speaking.When he was in middle school, he noticed that a twenty-five-year-old teacher was prone to flushing.At that time, he thought that a person would not be like this after the age of thirty, and the years thicken one's skin.But now in his forties, he still fears speaking.A few times I stuttered while speaking, my brain was uncontrollable, and I ran out a bunch of chopped words, which made everyone dumbfounded.He hoped that something would happen on the road, but the vehicle transported him there quickly without any discussion—except for a stop on the bus, there was no delay in anything.He stepped into the silent alleyway that led to the lecture hall, his heart beating loudly.A farmer carrying pork was walking in the wilderness, and a hungry wolf followed. The farmer threw only one bone in the basket, and the wolf followed.Lu Wei felt like this, and he didn't have a few minutes in his hand.He urinates in a public toilet and smokes nervously when he comes out.

Come early.A group of people gathered in front of the closed gate, seeing him, gathered around with silent excitement.Lu Wei put his hands in his trouser pockets, stepped on the stones on the ground lightly, looked reserved, and was still praying for the cancellation of the lecture (how could this be possible).A man wearing a peaked cap said: "Mr. Lu, I am your reader." Lu Wei nodded, his eyes were full of thin branches in the sky, and he did not see the other party's outstretched hand.Those hands were left awkwardly halfway, not knowing whether to continue to put them on or take them back.After a while, a fierce woman with a face like a board came.A miracle happened.

"Go back, the lecture has been cancelled," she said. Lu Wei felt relieved for a moment, all the frozen blood came to life, and heat came out of his body.How to describe it?It's like Dostoevsky was taken to the school yard, but he heard the czar's amnesty order before the soldiers raised their guns.But almost at the same time, a humiliated anger welled up.Maybe it is easier for people to show courage after the crisis is resolved, he stuttered and asked: "Then why did you call me here? Do you know how precious time is for a researcher? You know you What are you doing?"

"I don't know, and I don't want to know." "Then you said, why was it canceled?" "Numbers." "what?" "It's fine if you don't understand. The number of people summoned to attend lectures is not enough." "Have you read Huang Renyu's mind?" "You're the only one with bad brains, why don't you die, you old bastard?" Lu Wei raised his hand, remembering that he had never hit anyone in his life, and froze in mid-air.She raised her head and raised her chest, and said, "Hit, hit, the great scholar hit someone." He was hissing like a steam engine.If it wasn't for that group of people who came over to scold her and scold her so that she ran away, he still doesn't know how angry he would be.The peaked cap kept reassuring, but he kept saying, "Did she think I was the one who suffered? Didn't they already call me the money?"

At this moment, at his home, Peng Lei and the woman just went to bed. When Peng Lei knocked on the door, he carefully adopted a rhythm, one, two, three, one, interval, two, interval, three.She opened the door without hugging each other.When the door was locked, he even felt panic, as if he had been illegally detained, and it was up to her to kill or cut.Speaking of which, they were not familiar with each other, and had only chatted online for a few hours.She said, "Why are you standing there blindly?" He didn't stand like a tree, and sat on the edge of the sofa. She went to take a shower, and there was a loud noise from the bathroom.Thinking of the water rushing over her naked body again and again, he became short of breath, but he also felt another kind of pressure and wanted to run away.The room is full of eyes, the silent furniture, TV, coffee table and even the air stare at him with hatred. They are purchased and arranged by the male owner, which is the result of domestication.A sense of nostalgia surged in his heart, and he wanted to go back to his dilapidated dormitory.Everyone has their own territory, where they can sleep peacefully and walk around naked, but what they brazenly intrude into is someone else's territory.Why do you want to have an affair here? What is the difference between this and the prey throwing itself into the net?What kind of mistake is this?

He didn't discuss the place with her, but said that her husband left at nine in the morning and returned in the evening, and he came.Perhaps for her, betrayal at the peril was part of the fun.When she came out, she tilted her head, wiped her hair with a towel, and searched for a comb as if no one else was there.Like it had nothing to do with him.When he found the coffee table, he bent down, and the blood rushed to his head.But he didn't move.They are like men and women in first love, they let their hearts go through a long process before they make contact, until her body is dry and no longer smells of soap, she gently holds him amidst his heavy and rhythmic breathing.In the pen of Guillermo Martinez, this kind of intimate contact will cause a strong signal from the fingertips to form a fiery undercurrent throughout the body.But what he felt was sinking.This is a pair of middle-aged women's hands that look like kraft paper shells.He regretted it, not because of morality, but because he wanted to develop a relationship with her, and he was about to fall into this quagmire and say goodbye to the vigorous girl forever.But he still tried to pinch her fingers back, in order to complete a procedure.

She straddled his legs and kissed him. He opened his eyes secretly and found that her eyes were closed tightly, crow's feet appeared, and her face was like an undulating volcanic skin.She is lustful for me, so lustful, he judged.I am serving her. "I haven't done it in a long time." In bed he said so.He had done foreplay for a long time before, like a construction worker with an expressionless face, carefully pasted every part of her body, and when she closed her eyes slightly, her whole body heaved and stretched out like a hungry person. Arms, he said again. "yes?"

"I haven't done it for half a year, and I don't remember what happened." She is anxious.He felt as if he was going to a disaster, he gritted his teeth, and let his body press her tightly like a boulder, "Just wait for me to get used to it, just get used to it." At her age, she had already seen the mystery behind it, but She also has the wisdom only at this age, pretending not to know, gently hugging him like a virgin, and occasionally sucking affectionately on his shoulder, as if the one who loves in the end is his soul.He is very grateful, thinking of the uncle who opened the shop, the uncle always said: If you want to get rich, get rich, and doing business is not about revenge.

Out of the alley, the peaked cap is still following.Lu Wei said, "What's the matter?" "It's fine." Let's just go, walk to the subway station, and forget each other in the rivers and lakes.He misses his home very much now. There are desks, beds and women at home. Every time he is outside with bruises all over his body, he misses her very much.The same is true every time I finish writing a dissertation, exhausted and dying, but as long as I look at her sleeping warm body, there is eternal peace in my heart.He wanted to go home this time and hug her for a long time, without saying anything, just hug her.Before going out in the morning, she hugged him tightly, trembling and speaking soft words, as if she was parting from life and death.Women are pre-earthquake animals who can predict things accurately, although this time it is not a disaster.

When he was about to step into the subway station, the peaked cap gently pulled him. "What's the matter?" Lu Wei said.The man rubbed his hands and said, "I just want to see something from Mr. Lu." "what?" "A collection of Mr. Qi Gong." "No, I have to go home." "That's it." The other party smiled bitterly. "It's all fake." Lu Wei judged, but when the light in the other person's eyes was about to go out, he remembered that this person had helped him, so he didn't really leave. "I spent a lot of money to buy it, and I just want to know if it is a fake. If it is true, I will give up." Said so sadly, Lu Wei's heart softened, go, win the construction of a seven-level pagoda.The place is not far.The man walked quickly, as if he was afraid of delaying Lu Wei's time, and then he couldn't control his joy. He took off his peaked cap, revealing his bald head, without hair roots or pores, like a smooth drum skin stuffed on it. He really wanted to drive a nail into it.It's like someone pitifully asks him to borrow money, and after getting the loan, he forgets about it, and he regrets it to death.If you say no in your heart, why say yes in your mouth?Why not reject the other party thousands of miles away?Argentinian mathematician and writer Guillermo Martinez wrote it this way.Lu Wei thought he was suffering from upbringing. He then walked into a shantytown, the ground was muddy, the stones were like sharp knives, and there was a smell that only a garbage dump was floating around.The peaked cap had to be pulled several times before the dilapidated wooden door was opened. "Miss Lu, I'll make you a cup of tea." "No," he said, "not thirsty." The peaked cap took out the calligraphy, and as soon as it was unfolded, Lu Wei contemptuously judged that it was worthless.The other party was shocked. "Things like Panjiayuan only sell for 30 yuan." Lu Wei added.He would say that even if it was a priceless treasure, not to mention it was originally a fake. "I have to go," he said.The other party stood still, shaking his lost head like a goose.But as soon as he went out, the man rushed out and shouted: "Everyone, come quickly, the cultural relic appraisal expert is here." Lu Wei was a little panicked, the surroundings were quiet, and then he heard restless voices from the depths of each household.After a while, the tattered people swarmed out, hugging the clock, bronze Buddha and old clothes, chattering around, scrambling to be the first, and kept saying, "How much do you think this is worth?" "I'm leaving, I really have to go." Lu Wei's heart twitched because of the misery.It's as if the lover is looking at his watch and waiting to go to the distant train station, while he is being persuaded to drink glass by glass by his friends in the country. It took Peng Lei a long time to dare to move slowly, and he stopped when he felt that it was impossible, until it was really possible, and then he took a movement that was exciting enough for her but not too much friction for him.After the high-spirited symphony was released from the stereo, he listened quietly for a while, and then suddenly followed the rhythm and sprinted continuously. She seemed to be killed, her limbs raised up, and she screamed. "You are bad." She beat him, her voice was a girl's falsetto.He giggled like a rapist, and made a big move. She shook her head and twisted her whole body until the tears came out, "You are bad." "Isn't it great?" he said. She squeaked and laughed.He felt that he was laughing at his nervousness just now, and muttered angrily.Her eyes were like peach blossoms, and she asked confusedly: "What are you talking about?" "Bitch. I say, bitch." "I like it when you call it that, you call it." "Bitch, bitch, bitch." His back was sweating, and he said, "I'm done." "No." "Okay, I'm tired." "no." "I'm really tired." "Take a break then." She patted his back, her voice old and tired like a shrill old woman.Later he hugged her and leaned against the bed, looking at the oil paintings on the wall, the setting sun reflected on the boundless sea, like a golden road leading to the beach, a pair of neatly dressed man and woman turned their backs to them, like their Sitting hugging like this."Betty et Zorg" is floating in the room, the soundtrack of a French movie, sparse, slow, and profound.He looked at the few white strands behind her hair clumps and her well-preserved rotten body extremely calmly, feeling eternal loneliness in his heart.It's like they live alone in a deserted gas station and have been dependent on each other for a long time.This is the only poetic moment that occurs that day. The subway was running at high speed in the corridor and braked suddenly. The gears made a heart-piercing friction sound for a long time, like long fingernails scraping all the way on a blackboard.The people who were huddled together with their faces upturned and motionless all poked their heads out, looking nervously at the dark front outside the car window.Not knowing what was going on, or, worse still, not knowing what was going to happen.Lu Wei's heart beat faster, thinking of possible explosives, maybe a person in camouflage uniform was rushing to the explosion-proof barrel with a hot package, and a strong wolfhound followed him.Maybe a huge blast will turn the entire subway station over.He took out his mobile phone and called the woman, wanting to say, I love you, no matter what, you have to remember that I love you. But the subway has no signal. Soon, the car lights flickered like fluorescent lamps, and they came on all at once.A voice of an emotionless young man came over the radio: Someone just jumped off the track and died.Oh, he felt relieved, and said, "If you want to die, it's not good when to die, and where is it bad to die? It's not good to die here." Everyone complained about the dead in the same way.About ten minutes later, the subway restarted and stopped at the station. He walked down and saw the same scene as he had seen at any time in the past, clean, silent and orderly, with always smiling advertising beauties and hurried passers-by.Only there were fresh watermarks on the rails and walls in one place, and they must have washed away the sprayed blood.A torso was neatly cut by the gears just now. The staff raised its neck and looked at the sky, and hurriedly lifted it away like a bag of stinking garbage.If there was corpse water, they would be willing to melt it on the spot.A person disappears.No name, no gender, no age.For all the people who are not dead, he is worthless and not worth commemorating. He is just a trouble that delays people's travel. As the person in charge of subway operations said, passengers jumping off the platform will not only affect the operation of a train, It is the normal travel of a large number of citizens. Shouldn't there be any sadness at all?Lu Wei suddenly felt unfair.After walking out of the subway station, the sun shone fiercely on his normally functioning and vibrant body, making him feel a great sense of unreality.So he came back after passing the florist, bought a bunch of chrysanthemums, went back to the subway station, put it on the ground, and looked at the bare railroad tracks like a true mourner. "Why did you stop?" the woman said. Peng Lei propped his hands upright, his legs together, his body arched into a bridge, and his head turned to look at the big ceiling light.It was a round lamp, exuding milky white light, so quiet and steady that it made him flustered.It's like a giant eye with cataracts, and an invisible and sharp small eye hidden in the depths. "What do you see it doing?" "Is there a camera in there?" "nerve." The woman hugged his head and turned it around, "Look at me." But he still turned his head away, "I'm a little scared." "What are you afraid of?" "Always feel unsafe." "What's not safe? The day is yours." "I'm afraid he's back. Maybe that lecture has been cancelled." She laughed, "The lecture has been cancelled, and it will take him two hours to come and go." "Look, it's only ten minutes to two hours." He pointed to the ticking clock on the wall, which moved like chaff.He seemed to be outside the thick fog, hearing the sound of horseshoes approaching, but he didn't know where they were. "As long as the car brakes outside, I'm afraid, and the sound insulation is not good. I can even hear the sound of the elevator door closing." "He doesn't have a car." He also said that she had slipped out, overthrew him, and straddled herself.He looked at her sadly, grinding her back and forth like a mill.There was a monotonous sound at the junction of their bodies.Everything changed into a program, just like playing billiards. At first, I wanted to push the ball into the hole. Later, my soul seemed to be manipulated by the cue stick, and I no longer found the interest in scoring. Just stretch out the stick, and the arms have to follow suit.Every time I have to persist like this, I feel disgusted that I might as well die.he thinks.He even thought of pressing the water pump at home when he was a child, and a small handful of water came out after pressing it, and the water tank was so big.This woman is a huge, insatiable vat.She said: "I like that you are not in a hurry. It's like looking at the scenery along the road. You stop and stop along the way, and you see a lot. Unlike him, you will reach your goal as soon as you come up." "He used you as a sex organ." He wanted to say it, and we love each other, but he didn't say it. Lu Wei bought a bunch of blue roses. I have never seen roses and blue ones before, but seeing them this time, I am amazed.He thought it was dyed, and rubbed the petals with his fingers, but he could tell it was genuine.Speaking of the magic of this creation, even the best dyer in the world cannot dye such a color, and even the sky and sea cannot reach its brilliance.It is calm and serious, reserved and introverted, but it shows the coquettishness in the depths of the soul everywhere; it is frivolous and lively, attracts bees and butterflies, and can discern the unswerving loyalty from the bones.This is the metaphor for her.Temptation and solemnity, a unity of contradictions. I love you.he thought.From the age of nineteen, she lived with him for thirteen years through quarrels, breakups, reunions, and insipidities.Now he felt guilty that she had paid him her entire youth—the best years of her life—and all the years he had been working tirelessly on was nothing more than bullshit research.A pile of unearthed cultural relics, a dozen papers, a few shabby reputations, are these important?When he was with her, he vowed to take care of her like a slave or a father, but after only three months, he ran out of bed and lit the night fighting for the sudden inspiration.Now, he still hasn't become Euclid, Darwin, Newton, or Nietzsche, and is still just an insignificant researcher of cultural relics.Those cultural relics are the garbage of the previous dynasty, and she is just a parasite of garbage, and she grows old with herself, and is no longer the child who can radiate greenness by standing on her body. The girl from the flower shop ran over panting, stopped him, and said, "Sir, the money is not easy." "Why doesn't it work?" "Look, there's a metal wire missing." "Is there any wire here?" "Look at this one, this one has it." They stood up to the sun and held two pieces of RMB between their fingers like tweezers. "This is definitely real money, touch it." "I know it's real money, but sir, we're having a hard time finding it." "That's your business." "Sir, you said, I'm just a part-time worker." As she spoke, she began to cry. Although there were no tears, the sadness on her expression was real.He thought it was not a big deal, so he changed one.The girl bowed to him and hopped away like a foal.He waited for the bus, and this time he would not miss the stop. Of course he knew the stop in his neighborhood, but the car wobbled halfway through, and the tire exploded.The second bus followed and ordered them to go up. In order not to crush the flowers, he decided to wait for a taxi. It's really not going well today.After Lu Wei walked into the community, a yelling child rushed towards him on a bicycle.What do children know?He hastily jumped into the flower bed next to him, his leather shoes got a lot of mud.He broke off the branches, patiently scraped the mud off his shoes, and rubbed back and forth on the ground until he was almost done before walking back.He pressed the elevator several times, but the elevator always stopped at the tenth floor.There is a moving company's car at the door, oh, someone must be moving.Lu Wei came out to walk the stairs. He went up without making any noise, but when others went down, they were kicking, tapping, and there was a cheerful echo only after liberation.That is Peng Lei.In that strange moment, he shook wildly like a bystander watching his own house, and collapsed with a crash.Afterwards, he lay like a corpse on the battlefield, the sky was filled with gray and dark, and the floor was filled with deeper gray.He got annoyed when she continued to touch him.Just to spend the morning with such a woman, just with her.Before I came here, I had a dry mouth and throat, and ended the dilapidated depression, like two skeletons. He just wanted to be polite, so he didn't get out of bed immediately.And the woman was lying on his side under his arm, as if she was full but not enjoying herself.She offered to cook him a meal. "No, I have to go home." "It's only less than twelve o'clock, what are you in a hurry for?" "It's really something." Thinking about it, he added, "I don't think there is such a thing, how could I be willing to leave?" "What is more important than me?" Her eyes faltered between disappointment and anger.He hoped that she would judge him and let him go, but her mouth was so soft, "It's really something." He couldn't make up the matter for a while, and said, "I will come next time, good boy." Then she hugged him suspiciously , Arching and arching on his chest like a little pig.As soon as she let go, he jumped out of bed like a well-trained soldier, got dressed in a few seconds, kicked on his leather shoes, opened the door and slipped away. The air outside is so good, the air outside is flowing, flying over from the distant sea and forest, passing through his lungs.He thumped downstairs.The phone rang suddenly.It must be her calling.Why are women so annoying?He suppressed his anger and said, "Okay, I'll come up right now." At the door of her house, she hugged him and gnawed on him, her eyes were tightly closed, her tongue was twitching, and she looked as drunk as mud.He was forced to stir it up a few times, but it made her more interested.He doesn't mix it up.She had had enough of tasting, and she leaned against his chest, coquettishly: "Look at you in a panic, and leave without kissing me." At this time, a man stood quietly behind them, holding a bunch of roses, because The hands shook violently, and the petals seemed to be blown by a strong wind, making a rustling sound. "Sit down!" Lu Wei locked the door, took out the white wine from the cupboard, sipped it, and said expressionlessly.They squatted by the sofa.After Lu Wei walked into the utility room, the woman came over and wanted to shake Peng Lei's hand. He turned his head and moved a certain distance away, and the woman shook his knee, and he brushed it away.There's no need to hide your distaste anymore, the matter is already over, and you just call again.Perhaps thinking this way can ease the anxiety in his heart. When he turned around and saw Lu Wei, who was so angry that he was about to have a stroke, his brain went blank and he fell into extreme fear, like a robot that could only execute simple orders. Wherever he ordered to go, he would go there Walk.After entering the main hall, he asked with his eyes whether he should go to the bedroom or stay in the main hall. "Sit down." Lu Wei ordered. Under Peng Lei's watchful eye—he's like a bound cow watching the butcher prepare knives—Lu Wei set up a long desk lamp, plugged it in, and flipped the switch to shine the light on their faces. .Lu Wei's hands were always trembling, but later became much calmer.It was a high-wattage light bulb, and the light pierced their faces one by one like scorching silver needles, making them tremble. What is this for? Lu Wei dragged his long whip and carried a privately kept German-made pistol during the Republic of China. He walked to the rattan chair facing them, wiped off the roses on the chair with a gun, and sat on it, or lay down on it.He raised his head, his chest heaved, and he gasped for breath. After a while, his expression became exhausted, and he squinted his eyes and pressed the muzzle of the gun to his jaw. "Don't!" Peng Lei spread his hands and whispered.Lu Wei seemed to wake up from a long sleep, and opened his eyes to identify him carefully.The gun then hung down, trembling at the fingertips, pointing vaguely at Peng Lei, who then knelt down.And the woman seemed to realize that there was such a husband for the first time, her eyes were both surprised and angry, disappointed and terrified.She was no longer sure about him, she couldn't control him, and she was no longer a married couple. Once the crack was opened, it would never be repaired.It's like grabbing my mother's hand affectionately in a dream, and my mother said: "Who are you, go away." "Take off." Lu Wei ordered. "what?" "Take off." Peng Lei glanced at the woman, feeling unbelievable, but the woman understood, she gritted her teeth and blushed.Peng Lei consulted Lu Wei with his eyes again, who smiled sullenly and pointed the gun at one of his eyes.He tried to avoid it, but the muzzle of the damn gun always pointed back to the eyeball accurately, so he was in a trance, feeling that the muzzle of the gun was like a culvert, growing bigger and bigger, so big that everything could crawl into it.After a while, he woke up suddenly, tearing his clothes anxiously, as if something bad would happen if he was a second late.He was naked and looked at Lu Wei flatteringly.Lu Wei gave him a wink, and he rushed the woman anxiously like a domestic slave.The woman clutched her bathrobe, shivering. "Take it off." Peng Lei said softly. After she also stripped naked, Lu Wei put down the gun and swung the whip.Peng Lei knew that they would be whipped, and possibly stomped on with his leather shoes.All of this is what Lu Wei should do, and it is nothing.The British writer Alan de Botton said: It is the most magnanimous to get angry immediately after being angry, because it can make the offender not too guilty and don't need the angry person to calm down.For Peng Lei, although the verdict came a bit late, it was better than waiting all the time.When the verdict comes, it will be over.Beat me, whip me, spend this moment, spend this day, from tomorrow, cut firewood to feed the horses, care about food and vegetables, live a good life, exercise your body, and even live fresher and stronger than before.Peng Lei wanted to go up to accept the whip.All punishments are benevolent after all, and can be converted into a fixed time, and an early start means an early end.It was an unlucky day, but not the worst. "Kiss." Lu Wei ordered. "what?" "He told us to kiss." The woman shook her head. "How?" "Just pick it up." Trembling, she moved her body closer.He stepped back, and heard her shout: "Take it." He saw this completely unfamiliar face flashing the sadness that can only be found in extreme disappointment.She had established a deep hatred with that he, and felt that this he couldn't fight for the slightest bit.She closed her eyes, the folds formed by her eyelids were as clear as woodcuts, her face was sallow, as if she had been sick for a long time, and she was so sick that she became transparent.With his hands behind his back, Peng Lei leaned forward with his trembling mouth, and kissed the other's lips. "Stir." Lu Wei said, "Stir with your tongue." "Won't." "Didn't you just know it?" "Not good." Peng Lei shook his drooping head. "Are you listening? I allow you to do it, why not?" At this time, the woman grabbed his head decisively and poked his lips with her tongue.He struggled and she hugged him tighter.He felt the undeniable force in that movement, realized that she was the guide on the way to escape, and he had to listen to her, so he let his tongue in.Let her stir.There was a complex musty smell in her throat. "You have to stir it too, you can't let her stir it alone." Peng Lei struggled to stick out his tongue. It was like a heavy stone was tied, barely entering her mouth.Her teeth are like staples, nailing it tightly.He shook her arm, and she bit harder, as if trying to uproot her.He yelled, he was so humble, she let go. "Okay, you can relax." Peng Lei relaxed, feeling a sense of accomplishment in his heart, as if the task had been completed.He heard Lu Wei comment: "When I kiss myself, I feel so fucking beautiful. When I see people kissing on the street, with my eyes closed, sucking back and forth like two idiots, I feel like two dogs." "Yes." Peng Lei said.He also wanted to say that the same is true for eating instant noodles. Seeing other people drooling, eating by himself is boring.But this is a wrong metaphor, and it is inconvenient to say more in my current capacity.But the energy was there, he looked at him flatteringly, and wanted him to give him a gesture to let himself go. "Make love." Lu Wei ordered.Peng Lei was dumbfounded. "What?" the woman screamed, "You're too much, aren't you?" "Why don't you say you are too much?" "So what if I did it with him? Can you still kill me?" Peng Lei watched nervously.Maybe it's better to fight, and I can put on my pants and disappear quietly.But, wow, the muzzle of the gun made the sound that only appeared in the bandit suppression TV series in the 1980s. The bullet shot out in a straight line and got into the sofa, emitting huge blue smoke along the way.The bullet went in, like shooting into the huge flesh of an ostrich.The woman who stood up swayed down, trembling, and looked at Lu Wei in horror.Peng Lei stood up in fright, suddenly understood, threw himself on the ground and kowtowed. "It's okay. I won't hurt you, as long as you are obedient." "I'm obedient." Peng Lei said. "Quick then." Peng Lei crawled over to break the woman's body, she shrank tightly.He comforted: "Be obedient, be obedient." The woman's face gradually became numb, and her body slowly loosened like a spring losing its elasticity.When she handed it over, it was like handing over someone else's body.Excited, Lu Wei walked over with a gun in hand, and turned over the desk lamp to make the light shine more clearly. "Do it." He encouraged.Peng Lei lightly pressed on the woman, she turned her head and her eyes were stiff. "It can't be hard." Peng Lei said. "Do it if you can't be hard." Lu Wei kicked his butt and walked back to the rattan chair, "Do it." "How to do it?" "Do what you usually do." "We just did it for the first time today." "Then do it again as you did today, and be serious." He pretended to be very hard. "Hurry up." She shouted loudly and quickly like a repeater. In this afternoon, Lu Wei has been sitting on a rattan chair like a king, tearing the petals of each rose until there are only bald stalks left in his hands.He gave brief orders again and again. Every time Peng Lei simulated a position, he re-evaluated the length of the punishment, and felt that the end time could be expected.But when Lu Wei made a cup of hot tea and carefully blew the hot tea leaves, the hope in his heart was completely extinguished.He realizes that this is a permanent task, and no longer struggles, like Sisyphus, wearily pushing the stone up the hill, watching it roll down indifferently, and pushing it up again.Repeatedly.Peng Lei even felt that he had been doing this job a long time ago, and would continue to do so in the future. He kept having sex with ineffective equipment here, from morning to night, from spring to winter, without end, until eternal life. So does she.Don't resist, don't make noise, just keep doing postures in silence, let him work in silence.Very lonely.Only Lu Wei let out a dry laugh once or twice.The pleasure that belonged to human beings in them, that part of the pleasure that makes people barely survive in the world of suffering, disappeared irresistibly.During World War II, German military officers locked a lonely man and a widow naked in a cell, put air-conditioning on them, forced them to embrace, and then had sexual intercourse.But after they embraced, they did not make any ambiguous actions. After the temperature rose, they left each other and lived together silently like two stones.They have no sexual desires in this unexpectedly gifted space of freedom.Not to not have sex, but to have no sexual desire in itself.Their libido was cut out because of the torture.I was also excised.Peng Lei thought.Lu Wei commented: "It really looks like two dogs, one with white spots, and the other black and thin. Two dogs." Then he stood up and walked around. Everything seemed to be over, but he took out the massage stick from the drawer and inserted it. Good electricity, let it buzz, and pass it to Peng Lei, "Stimulate her." The woman seemed to explode, her whole body trembling violently, and finally returned to a silent state like a volcano that has not erupted.Because Lu Wei jumped around and fired several shots at the sofa, "Crazy, crazy, how dare you disobey?" Peng Lei's hands trembled violently, the woman glanced at her lower body, opened her legs numbly, and then lay there as if she had lost her soul.She died, with staring eyes, cold skin, tight lips, no pain, no reaction, nothing.But after Lu Wei grabbed Peng Lei's hand and stabbed it in, she sat up reflexively, and shouted truthfully, accurately, and instinctively.The voice pierced Peng Lei's heart like a sharp knife.Then she fell with a crash. Peng Lei knelt on the ground, wailing silently.Tears welled up from her eye sockets silently, just like when a person dies, all the water in the body must be drained out.Lu Wei grabbed her hair and shook it, "Pretend." As soon as he let go, she suddenly turned sideways and vomited uncontrollably.The eggs, bread, and applesauce she ate in the morning, the fish, tomatoes, beef, peppers, and her bile that she ate last night rushed out like slops and fell to the ground, overflowing, solidified, and became clear again. .Drool hung on her rocky lower lip.Peng Lei didn't know until this time that he and she could form an alliance and it was worth forming an alliance, and that they could be together for a lifetime because of the tragic fate.He went to hug her and was pushed away. She pushed Peng Lei away and said to Lu Wei, "Is it fun?" Lu Wei also said, "Is it fun?" Then Lu Wei added angrily: "Will you still play in the future?" No one answered.Lu Wei waved his arms violently, and it took him a long time to say clearly: "Get out!" Peng Lei looked at her worriedly, and Lu Wei kept yelling to get out, but he still didn't leave until the woman looked at him with distant eyes and said You go, he just stood up and put on his pants slowly.It's all over.The defeated fighters put on their trousers and jacket, stepped into their leather shoes, and opened the door in a daze. Later, when the woman pushed open the window and let the wind blow in, Lu Wei, who was standing stiffly, sobered up.In his hand was a well-polished old gun from the Republic of China, with a choking smell remaining from the muzzle, but he didn't remember what happened.As Coleridge said, a man goes to heaven in his dream and wakes up with a rose in his hand.What have I done?Lu Wei looked at the woman packing her things in a daze.When she took off the shirts, skirts, and underwear hanging on the balcony and folded them on her knees, she was still a good wife and mother, but when a pair of jeans couldn't fit into the package, she became vicious.She stretched out her sneakers and stomped on them until her feet went in with her pants.She packed the toothpaste, toothbrush, eyebrow pencil, and lipstick in the bathroom into small bags, and threw the ones that were too big against the wall. He suddenly lost.Like a rich man watching his property move away piece by piece.After a while she was gone. "What?" he said.她走进卧室，他过去捉她，“你到底要干什么？”她喊：“滚开！”声音像钝刀杀进前头的空气。 "What's wrong with you?" 她捉开他的手，走到床边翻枕头、床单，没找到想要的东西，便背上双肩包，提起塑料袋朝外走。她往哪里走，他就堵向哪里。“滚开！”她说。 “好好的为什么要走？” "Go away!" “这事情说到底还是你错在先。” "Go away!" 他想让路，愣着，直到她大叫：“我叫你滚开呢！”才尴尬地闪开。她不作任何停留，笔直走向门外。以前有次她也是这么走的，到门口突然跺脚，大哭大闹：“吕伟我看错你了，我现在知道就是连你也不要我了。” 这次她很快消失不见了。 走吧，走吧走吧，那就走吧。 可十几分钟后他又像条狗跟在她身后。路人停下看，他不好意思，但还是跟着。她翻过护栏，走进环线公路，他还跟着。他躲避着飞驰的车辆，站在马路中央喊：“你要去哪里？” “你管得着吗？” 他跟着跨过那边护栏，隆重地说：“秦妹，听着，这是我最后一次求你。” 她头也不回地朝水泥坡上走。 “最后一次求你了。” 她爬到顶上的马路。 “最后一次了。”他将枪顶向太阳穴，“最后一次。” 她转过身来，看见他的食指搭在扳机上，嘴角抽动一下，没有说话，只是用力提提鼓起来的塑料袋。然后他扣动扳机，像棵被砍倒的树直通通倒了，她瘫软下去。枪还在他手上，没有枪声和硝烟。子弹早打光了。她开始没完没了地哭，嘴都哭瘪了，“你要我怎么跟你生活，你让我害怕，知道吗？你让我怕得要死。”而他带着歉意爬上来，抱起她，蹭她，说：“我不要你走，不许你走。”她让他蹭着，像石雕的烈士独立寒秋，茫然看着灰暗的天空。 这时，彭磊走到一个小区，一群人仰着头，像乌鸦叽叽喳喳聚在一起。他决定歇息片刻，他已像孤魂野鬼游走两小时了，就像左脚迈出，右脚就必须跟上，就像走是唯一活着的必要。他路过小吃店、摊贩、公交车、骑三轮车的穷苦人，还有贴在电线杆上的性病广告，它们都与这世界有着黏稠的关系，唯独他被丢出来，在街道上分外醒目。 光阴黑掉，像腐烂的水果，霉斑若隐若现，让人阴沉得要命。但是聚集在楼下的人抽着烟，兴奋地交谈，像是要赶个早市。在六楼铝合金窗外，有个裸体男子双手扒住窗台的边沿，用脚踩着一只摇摇欲坠的空调。它无法承载一个成年人的重量，他却总是试图让双腿完全落在上边——晃动使他惊恐地收回试探的腿。他又想让一条腿踩住从墙里凸出来的预埋水泥板，可这伸出来的一点太窄，连鞋面也兜不住。他深吸一口气，想翻回到窗台内，空调被踩得晃动，一只螺丝无声地掉下去，他的腿连窗沿都没够上。 接着他又想让腿落在凸出的水泥板上——刚刚明明已试过。他的支撑腿紧绷，像剥过皮的兔子的腿，肌肉隆起，微微发颤。手则抠住窗沿，像要抠进瓷砖里。间或他还会专心呼一口粗气。 “跳啊，你倒是快跳啊。” 人们开始呼喊。不知谁先打起拍子，所有人跟着打起来。那人一直像老鼠东张西望，不停目测水泥板、空调和窗台，有时还会警惕地望一眼窗台里。人们焕发出更大的激情，像是要唤醒在火灾中熟睡的人，以更大的声音一起喊：“跳啊，跳啊。”这来自大地的恢宏力量，像岩浆一层层、一节节，极为有力地向上涌，终于摧动他的耳膜。他猛然抖直身躯，朝下望来，麻木、惊慌、绝望、孤独、哀伤。这眼神就是我，这人就是我。彭磊拨开别人，走了。我就站在这最后的几分钟、几寸地里，我看见的最后天空，像往日一样辽阔，可以凭鱼跃，任鸟飞，却是关起遥远的门。我看见的最后土地，熙熙攘攘，所有人都是刽子手。 彭磊走着走着，发疯地跑。上牙齿磕下牙齿，喉咙不停咳嗽，汗水和泪水糊了一脸，肉身像是无形了，还是没能躲掉那心底早已出现的一声呼喊。它就像烟花点着火，在空气中极其响烈地飞窜，追上他，越过他，消隐在远处。啊——惨绝人寰的，一个人在极度不甘中结束自己性命的声音。那呼号带着他最后的希望、最后的绝望，带着放纵、自嘲、愤怒、烦躁、仇恨、恐惧、忍受、脆弱、可怜、委屈、痛苦、恶心、悲伤、失落以及歇斯底里，带着人类全部的情感。接下来就不关他什么事了。他作为一件物品落在地上，有如一袋水泥从高空扑地，一些灰尘短促地飞起来。人们同时跳向后边。